Flash fiction

Cora Thornton-Silver
FauxTerre And Other Portmanteaus.
It fizzed on my tongue and let off a hissing noise, which mimicked the sound you hear
when lighting a stick of dynamite. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds began playing through the
speakers. My friend was standing across the room and he looked over at me with a strange
expression on his face. He was gesticulating and talking but I couldnt quite make out what he
was saying. I was already gone.
Danger! Beware of man-eating unicorns. These creatures will eat you alive. They reside
in the dark, deep forests of Worcestershire (the forbidden forests). Every fortnight, they come
out to feed on the people in the nearby town know as FauxTerre. The man-eating unicorns are
the most docile of horrors that walk the paths of FauxTerre. These creatures look like fluffy
bunny rabbits by the karate trained spiders or the omnivorous worms equipped with fangs.
These creatures live off human flesh. They crave it. They need to kill humans to survive.
Caution! Do not enter the dark woods of
Worcestershire. There are many nasty, horrific
monsters hidden there. They will murder you!
This speech was announced on loud speakers surrounding Perseus square in the center
of FauxTerre. As I walked through the square I noticed that the witches were flying particularly
high today. Clearly, the emperor of FauxTerre had given them orders to patrol the forest. The
loud cackles of the witches dissipated throughout the ether as a black cat attempted to climb
back onto one of the witches broomsticks. I saw a woman walking her dog. I could hear the low
hum of Jefferson Airplanes song White Rabbit from her earphones. These were the good
citizens of FauxTerre. As I approached the entrance of the market, the two-headed centaurs that
acted as guardian devils to the marketplace harassed me.
One of them said Oy! What are you doing here? I tried to ignore them because
everyone who lives in the land of FauxTerre knows Centaurs have two very small, fried brains.
He pushed me against the gate, held me by the scruff of my collar, and said, weve been
ordered to search anyone who looks suspicious! Have you been making any trips into the
forbidden forest? I felt my lower lip tremble, my leg was shaking and I was sweating profusely.
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly, a girl with kaleidoscope eyes. The harsh indie
music attacked my senses like a spirit dragging me into the depths of cellophane flowers of
yellow and green.
I said What? Of course I havent. Why would a weak, insignificant creature like me enter
a death trap? Good one. The ground quivered with the monsters chortle. After managing to
squeeze past the guard, I observed the deathly silence in the market, which would usually be a
sea of chaos with the locals haggling and arguing about the price of beat up, old grapefruits.
Due to my detective-like curiosity, I sauntered further in. Mashed up fruit, vegetables, and meat
littered the ground. The red strawberry juice merged with blood half way down the cobbled

street. And there I saw the notorious man-eating unicorn and a scaly, slimy basilisk feasting on a
rotting, bloody corpse. Our frequencies crossed paths like that of Walkie Talkies. My friend
Terrence came over to me and said They want you, watch out. Listen to this rubric, it will keep
you safe and well. Then he charged off to his own FauxTerre. His screams echoed through the
dark tunnel, transitioning him to another world.
The evil creatures of FauxTerres rubric:
Never pass on a free meal.
Always attack the muscular humans first.
Slow, fatty humans are the bottom of the food chain.
You are obligated to share prey with the Worms and giant spiders of FauxTerre.
Children are for birthdays and special occasions only.
Never attack a fellow monster.
Perseus, Van Helsing, and the Ghost Busters are our ultimate enemies.
Dont get killed by the witches.
Reside in the forest unless you are out hunting.
Worship the Emperor of FauxTerre.
The monsters sensed my human scent in their presence. I was fresh meat. I was ready to turn
back slowly and run away but it was too late! Holy shit! The monsters had blood and pieces of
flesh falling from their slobbery mouths. The basilisk and man-eating unicorn turned around and
crept closer to me. I was petrified with fear. The unicorn must have signaled to someone
because at that moment more creatures started to appear. I saw the long, spindly legs of the
enormous spider, the sharp, shiny fangs of the killer worm and the slimy scales of the basilisk.
My heart was pounding in my chest. I was almost certain it was about to burst out of my ribcage.
The monster was a few inches away from me. Its hundreds of unblinking eyes stared me down.
I was wondering why these creatures hadnt killed me yet. The basilisk got ready to strike. The
black belt arachnid prepared a kick. The man-eating unicorn bared its shark-like teeth as if to
bite me. The fat, wrinkly worm opened its mouth, flashing its glistening fangs. Basilisks,
arachnids and man- eating unicorns, oh my!
Whoa! You were gone for a while! Some stoner guy said Whered you go?... Im
hungry. Four of my friends are standing over me. My best bro is exhibiting his Cheshire cat
grin. He said to me So dude, welcome back! I had made it out of the rabbit hole. I said, You
would not believe what I saw,