Chanel Bleu. Cigarettes. The smell of rain.

A strange mixture of smells that brought a strange mixture of feelings and emotions. Its been
almost a year and I still cant seem to wash the scents out of my clothing, my walls, my sheets
and my skin. It feels like its been centuries, when its only been eleven months. Its weird how
slowly time passes when you arent doing so well.
I sat on the stone ledge of the balcony. It was raining outside and the smell of rain took me back
in time. I inhaled deeply and shakily exhaled. I was stuck. I couldnt decide whether I hated the
rain or loved it. I hated it because it brought back painful memories and reminded me of hurt. But
I loved it because if the memories werent memories, they wouldnt be painful. It was just the fact
of it being in the past that made it painful. The stone of the balcony was cold against my bare
legs, but I didnt mind. It was mid-April and the air was already beginning to warm up. Sparrows
flew by overhead, moving back in for the summer. Nearby trees were spotted with flower buds,
promising a colorful season.
I slowly walked into my quaint apartment and flopped down on my blue sheets. It still smelled

like him. It wasnt going to end. I would end up missing him forever. And it was as I came to
this realization that I decided against it. I instantly flew out of bed and reached for my phone.
Within a couple taps on the smooth touch screen, I was waiting for Mia to pick up her phone
Liv? Whats up? She asked, sounding almost confused.
Come to my house, were going to do something today. I replied as I ripped clothes from my
closet.
Um- uh- okay. She said, and I hung up without another word.
Not even twenty minutes later there was frantic knocking on my front door. I ran out of my room
in socks and a t-shirt to open the door for her. No sooner had I opened the door then she
started talking.
Okay whats going on? Its the eighteenth, youre never out or alive on the eighteenth. She said
breathlessly.
Calm down. I chuckled. Mia stared at me as if Id grown a second head.