Jerry Yao

Ms. Thompson
AP Language Block 2 Skinny B
5 May 2015
DAP: A Response to A Talk to Teachers
Overall, this was one of my best written argumentative papers. I think I had a very strong
hook in my introduction because I began with quote by Nelson Mandela. This shows an appeal to
authority because the quote is from one of the most famous civil rights leaders in history as well
as South Africas first black president. My strength was my thesis. I feel that for this
argumentative essay, I had a well thought out thesis that paved the road for the rest of my essay.
My overall claim was However, upon further examination of Roses own vocational track
course experience and his educational journey to be more open to his surroundings in his essay, it
can be asserted that students are being conformed to society, but the rationale of education acts
as a bonding agent between individuals and society, and allows them to understand themselves
better and broaden their views within the confines of society. I like my myriad use of
vocabulary throughout the essay such as cogent and incontrovertibly as well as my
metaphorical use of a silver lining.
One of my main weaknesses was my development of the evidence and support. My
evidence was weak: From our two pieces of evidence, the purpose of education is clear in that it
provides new insight for an individual to make crucial decisions in the world.
The biggest challenge for me was trying to formulate a cogent argument that had a clear
thesis with enough support to asset that claim and finding evidence through the piece to back up
my evidence.