The Dependent Style

"He who follows another sees nothing, learns nothing, nay, seeks
nothing." Sir William Osler

Show Me My Circumplex

The Dependent scale measures the degree to which we feel our efforts do not
count. Dependent behavior originates in a need for security and self-protection:
dependent people typically feel that they have very little control over their lives.
This type of behavior may be long-standing, or due to temporary life changes such
as a new job, a promotion, an illness, or the break-up of a close relationship. When
dependent behavior occurs as a result of a temporary life change, the feelings of
dependency tend to diminish as the particular situation is resolved.
Situations with the potential to create feelings of dependency are common. Newlypromoted people may feel temporarily dependent in their new positions; however,
these feelings tend to disappear once they are more comfortable and feel a sense of
direction. Severe problems can occur when one chooses to be dependent on others
over a long time period: it is then that dependency begins to erode feelings of selfesteem. Overly-dependent people are generally more comfortable letting others
determine their behavior than they are guiding their own lives. They use dependent
behavior as a defense against feeling threatened or being rejected by others.

In general, this style is characterized by:

An over-concern with pleasing people, and not questioning others or taking

independent action
A passive attitude
Feelings of helplessness
The presence of rapid change or traumatic set-backs in one's life
A tendency to be easily influenced
A lack of self-respect, which results in feeling unable to accomplish things
Difficulty making decisions
The Dependent Manager

The pervasive feeling that their efforts don't count usually prevents dependent
managers from taking control of situations and managing effectively. Their
preference for following rather than leading prompts these managers to constantly
rely on others for direction. They rarely challenge anything or take even moderate
risks. The behavior of dependent managers is often a reaction to a Power-oriented
(8 o'clock position) supervisor.

Your Results on the Dependent Style

Your results on this style, as indicated by the , are in the medium range. Thus it is
likely that you'll find the following to be descriptive of you:

Dependent Scores in the Medium Range

Look at your score carefully to determine its closeness

to the High or Low range. If you scored closer to the High range, you may find that
your feelings of dependency are eroding your ability to get things done. When
making decisions, you are likely to seek the opinions of others not because you
value participative decision-making, but because you feel safer when others set the
course.

If you scored closer to the Low range, you may have some doubts about taking
responsibility and being held accountable for your actions, but you can be
competent in response to problems and challenges.

People with scores in the high and low ranges may exhibit different thinking and
behavioral tendencies that those described above. While your score did not fall in
those ranges, you may find the following descriptions useful:

Dependent Scores in the High Range

You tend to feel helpless in one or more areas of life, and may believe that your
effort makes little difference. You generally allow others to control too much of what

you do, and tend to feel overwhelmed and threatened most of the time. Because
you typically view things in terms of how they affect you, you may misinterpret
people's actions and be particularly vulnerable to mistreatment by others. To
protect yourself, you will generally let others call the shots, and avoid threatening or
challenging anyone.

You can be highly sensitive to people's feelings and their reactions to you. While
sensitivity, modesty, and tactfulness are the more positive characteristics of this
style, you may be seen as too agreeable: as a result, your opinions and thoughts
may be discounted by others.

Because you tend to doubt yourself, it can be difficult for you to rely on your own
judgment. Your cautious nature can prevent you from setting goals or taking risks.
Establishing a pattern of dependent behavior can eventually lead to depression and
the development of stress-related illness.

Dependent Scores in the Low Range

You do not rely heavily on others for direction. You probably have confidence in
yourself and are able to exercise control over your own life.

You generally like responsibility and are capable of taking charge. As a result, you
may dislike feeling constrained or dominated by others. You probably recognize that
living your own life involves an element of chance, and therefore typically aren't
afraid of venturing into the unknown and taking occasional risks.

If you score extremely low on this scale, you may see being dependent as a severe
weakness. This could signal an inability to work effectively with others. Check your
scores for the Power (8 o'clock position) or Competitive (9 o'clock position) styles.
Higher scores in these styles can indicate an overly judgmental approach to others,
and a subsequent breakdown in your ability to relate well with them.

How Dependent Relates to Other Styles

Note: In this section, statements that are followed by a green , indicate statements
that are relevant to your profile. Other statements, followed by a red , indicate
statements that may not apply directly to you. These statements may still be of
interest in that they describe how the different styles work together.

Your Achievement (11 o'clock position) score influences your level of

dependence. Being achievement-oriented can significantly increase your ability to
set and accomplish your own goals, and decrease your reliance on others to direct
you.

Your scores for Approval (3 o'clock position) and/or Conventional (4 o'clock position)
may be similar to your Dependent score: all three styles reflect a fear of being
rejected by others.

Self-Actualizing (12 o'clock position) people are independent and act

according to their own beliefs. This quality contrasts with a dependent
person's tendency to give up control to others. If you scored higher on the
Dependent scale, working to strengthen your Self-Actualizing score will help you
learn to rely on yourself.

Becoming More Effective: Steps To Change

Allowing those around you to have excessive influence over how you live your life
can eventually rob you of your contentment and self-respect. Learning to think for
yourself and openly communicating your independence can help you become less
dependent.

The more these statements describe you, the more Dependent you are now:

Feel dependent upon others for direction

Believe that your effort doesn't count for very much
Feel helpless and weak
Easily threatened and intimidated
Cannot say "no" to others

Always do what is expected

Feel that others are responsible for your happiness
Use these suggestions to become more independent:

Learn something new. Deliberately acquiring a new skill will help you recognize that
your effort counts, and may reduce your feelings of
helplessness. Read the Achievement (11 o'clock position) style interpretation for
information on the value of developing cause-and-effect thinking.
Take an assertiveness training course, or read a book on the subject. Learn to trust
your own judgment, and demonstrate your belief in yourself by speaking up more
often in groups.
Realize that no one can make you happy or unhappy. Only you have the power to
determine how you feel by controlling what you think.
Remember that your sense of self-worth originates within you, and is not
determined by others.
Set a few small goals. Accomplishing them will help you believe in your ability to
make positive changes in your life.
Strive to make decisions independently. Weigh the pros and cons of each choice and
decide on the best one.
Take the initiative and assume a leadership role. When interacting with others, try a
more challenging, questioning approach. Instead of waiting for someone to direct
you, take action yourself. Take small steps toward developing leadership behavior.
Watch your speech patterns. Be especially aware of how often you use qualifiers
("It's only my opinion but ..." ). Try to eliminate them, and be more positive and
direct ("I think we should . . ."). Ask someone to act as your "coach," and call your
attention to times when your speech reflects dependency.
Becoming more independent can result in these benefits:

A sense of control over your life

Self-set standards and goals
The ability to accomplish tasks more efficiently
Improvement in the quality of your relationships
The ability to take risks when appropriate
Reduced symptoms of stress
Defined beliefs and values

The ability to relax around others

The freedom to be yourself