How to Build Suspense ... in time for the KS2 Writing SAT!

Ive put this up as a way of soliciting new ideas to enrich my own teaching, Im
sure that everyone who reads this will have something to add, or spot
something that is badly put or just plain needs another look. I am not setting
myself up as any kind of expert here, (youll see why not as you read on!).
Please mail me with what works for you or just to point out the many mistakes
Im sure remain!
Pete (pasmith@blueyonder.co.uk)
In the first paragraph, where the setting and characters are established, the
protagonist needs to be in a position of relative safety. This can be achieved
by having them with friends, in familiar surroundings, in good light and with
the ability to run away. As the paragraph develops and the problem that the
protagonist must wrestle with is introduced, one of the supports for this feeling
of safety can be removed or reduced for instance with a reference to time
getting on, friends slipping away, seeing a need to go into an unfamiliar place,
or some constraint being imposed on the protagonists mobility. If the
protagonist refers to his/her situation, words that suggest a faint feeling of
discomfort are best (e.g.: She began to feel uneasy as she saw that the snow
was piling up...). Mild discomfort is best here because to be effective the
suspense needs to start with vague feelings of the potential for harm,
becoming more and more intense as the story progresses. It also means that
the child wont have exhausted their vocabulary of words to describe the
protagonists feelings by the end of the first paragraph. Thesaurus work
identifying words which can be used to describe the main characters fears
are a very effective way of raising the level of the story, as are investigations
into the correct vocabulary to describe dusk, loneliness, shadows and ways of
moving from stealthily (possibly for an antagonist) to fleeing.
In the second and subsequent paragraphs prior to the final one, the author
moves the protagonist further along the lines from secure to vulnerable. If
there has been no reference to the time of day in the establishing paragraph,
a mention of the fading light or other description of dusk can add an overtone
of fear. However if you mention it being late afternoon in your opening
paragraph, and then mention the darkening of the sky later on you get a more
subtle effect and it doesnt make the tension building seem so contrived.
Where the setting is inside, a gradual fading of power or moving into a poorly
lit area provide the same effect although the overtones of tension are greater
because of the constraints about moving that being indoors place upon you.
During the middle portion of the story, which my children refer to as the action
bit there are opportunities to use other techniques to heighten the sense of
imminent danger. The first is fleeting glimpses which are movements,
shapes or half-seen objects, which cause the protagonist to worry about being
followed. Although Ive called them glimpses which suggest they can only be
visual phenomena, ephemeral smells, unexplained patches of freezing or
warmed air, or breezes when none can be, all work well too.

A second technique which works well is privileged information which are

simply facts that the author tells the reader but which the protagonist does not
know. For instance ...He didnt see the figure lurking deeper in the
shadows... or A dark shadow detached itself from the trees unnoticed by
(insert protagonists name).
Once the atmosphere of dread is established the protagonist is ready for 2 or
3 tricks played on them by their overactive mind and chronic paranoia.
Footsteps seeming to close on them, unexplained noises, creaking gates,
eyes in the dark... in other words every horror clich they can come up with,
although of course to them, they arent clichs, just really cool ideas! Ive had
a bit of a battle persuading my young authors that they dont need to explain
what the noises are caused by at this point, and a discussion about why you
dont explain that the rustling in the bushes is just a blackbird until later, is
extremely useful in deepening the childrens understanding of not just the
techniques used to inspire suspense but of the art of storytelling more
generally.
In the concluding paragraph I encourage the children to go for the finale...
which will usually entail the protagonist becoming absolutely terrified (if the
author gets it right!). Once the protagonist has been scared out of his/her wits
it is time for all of the tension to be removed as all of the phenomena that
have plagued the poor protagonist are given a mundane explanation, either
by the rational part of the protagonists brain, an ally or some other device. I
do this because it helps boys especially from getting into describing a
bloodbath. I try and avoid literary violence not because of any p.c.
squeamishness but because I have yet to read that sort of genre piece done
well by a 10/11-year- old and a weak ending undermines all those marks
theyve been accumulating in the P+O section of the QCA markscheme. A
more effective ending can be produced with a sting in the tail ending where
one of the components of the story turns out to be a either a threat or
supernatural entity or anything that will jar the reader.
Although it sounds as if Im teaching the children to produce stories where
their imaginative involvement is limited to filling in the name of the protagonist
and then deciding what is going to frighten them, that is not where these
stories end up. First versions are inevitably samey and uninspired but as the
children become confident in applying the techniques they learn that it is okay
to transpose elements, miss them out, repeat, introduce red herrings, try to
lead he reader up the garden path, invent sub-plots and sub-sub plots etc etc
etc. The real virtue of this for me is that it is a brilliant way of underlining the
importance of the audience to a young author - oh and if we get a level 4 in
the writing SAT into the bargain well Im not going to say no!
An example of putting it all together.
{We did this in a customised Literacy Hour where the whole hour was turned
into a shared writing session. We began with most of the first paragraph
being all me (Teacher Demonstration in Grammar for Writing lingo p.15) lots

of talking aloud about why I went in certain directions. I put up and explained
this poster to establish shared vocabulary and a common starting point.
Safe

Vulnerable

With friends

Alone

In the light

In darkness

Knows where
he/she is

Lost

Able to run

Trapped

Able to fight

Helpless

The conclusion to the first paragraph and the body of the story up to the
appearance of the vicar was a real joint effort, but still with a lot of me
(Teacher Scribing) while the final paragraphs we managed to plan only. We
came back to it on the second day an the children completed the job as
independent writing with the plan as scaffolding.}
Ive included the story we wrote so that you can see what these techniques
produced on this one occasion. Ive used this approach now with 2 classes
and my initial fears about over-prescription have turned out to be
exaggerated. The first stories are all pretty much the same but the
enthusiasm this approach engenders gets the children wanting another, more
independent go, and these second and subsequent attempts are far more
individual. The ending Ive included was the best in that it joins seamlessly
and the child manages all aspects of the resolution effectively she got a 5 in
the SATs.
The Visit
Damn! swore Rebecca to herself. She could feel the shape of the card in
the lining of her jacket but realised that in the fading light she had no chance
of digging it out, or of reading it once she had for that matter. Now how was
she to get to Sammeas house? She thought hard, what had Sammy said?
Once youre off the bus, go passed the church and it was number...
something Longford Drive She set off, determined to find the church. She
walked for what seemed like an age but didnt recognise any of the roads she
passed. She walked on, eager to find the church and Sammy and a warm
drink! She came to a junction where three roads met. She peered down each
but none seemed more promising than the others. She chose a direction at
random and walked along the road for five minutes but she found no sign of a

church. She stood hesitating, looking up then down the road and peering up
a sidestreet desperate for any sign that a church might be close at hand. She
still hadnt decided which way the church lay in when she spotted someone
she could ask for directions. An old lady was sitting quietly on a bench. She
was about to ask directions when the woman smiled at her and patted the
bench beside her. Are you lost my love?
Yes, Im looking for a church, my friend lives at the other side, Longford Drive
I think.
Longford Drive, yes I know it, you are almost there my love The lady gave
Rebecca directions and wished her Gods speed my lovey! Smiling from her
encounter with the old lady Rebecca carefully followed her directions and
came quickly to the gate that led in to the churchyard. She felt nervous about
passing through all the graves but knew that ten minutes bravery would see
her at Sammys door.
She had to summon up all her courage to force herself to push at the old
church gate. The heavy iron gate swung open easily, if noisily and she was
soon striding along a gravel path that cut straight through the aisles of graves
and down to what must be Longford Road. She was about halfway across
when a loud creaking and a bang made her jump. She spun round, nerves
ragged at the thought of what she was doing. She thought back to all the
horror films she had seen; too many of them had featured the heroine being
attacked by zombies or vampires in a churchyard - I must be a nutter, next
time Im getting a taxi she muttered, although even to herself, her voice
sounded small and frightened. When she saw what had caused the noises,
she nearly screamed. The gate she had left wide open, was now very firmly
shut. She walked faster towards the lights of the houses beyond the graves,
her feet crunching noisily on the gravel. She realised she wouldnt hear
anyone, or anything with all the noise she was making so she moved on to the
grass verge. She started to walk again, but after a few seconds she distinctly
heard the sound of slow, heavy footsteps behind her. She spun again, but no
one was there. She ran this time - flying towards the gate, but it was too far to
do in one go, after a few minutes running she threw herself against an ancient
yew. She panted and swore, more scared than she had ever been in her life.
Next time ...(gasp)... Sammy... (gasp)...would darn well visit...(gasp)...her!
The creature became aware of a small figure in its territory. A girl clung to a
tree, half-sobbing and obviously exhausted, her back was towards the figure.
It moved in. 20 metres, 10 metres, closer, well within range
A hand grabbed Rebeccas shoulder. She wanted to scream but she was so
paralysed with fright that all that came was a mew like a hungry kitten would
make. Hello my dear, I didnt mean to frighten you. The voice was old and
tired, but...kind. Rebecca forced herself to turn and look round. She saw a
kindly man with a concerned expression, shabbily dressed and with what
looked like a part of his dinner down his front, the man wore a dog collar and
the black shirt of a priest. The old vicar peered closely at her, Come on my
dear, you've had a shock, lets get you home. Rebecca explained that she
was visiting a friend. He knew the road and offered to keep her company on

the short walk to Sammys house. Rebecca tried to explain why she had
been so afraid, but it sounded weak with the comforting presence of the old
priest beside her. He explained how the gate would swing in the wind and
how he had been having his tea when he heard footsteps on the gravel and
gone out to investigate making the footsteps that had worried her so much.
Weve had so much stolen I felt sure you must be a burglar! he laughed.
When they arrived at Sammys house the priest walked to the door, but once
they heard the sound of Sammy bounding the stairs to answer the bell, he
turned and waved Goodbye my dear get a lift back!
Rebecca shouted her thanks after him as he walked back up the path. Then
there was Sammy, looking relieved to see her. Who are you talking to
Becks?
The Priest from the old church, hes lovely isnt he? Rebecca noticed that
her friend looked surprised and had gone a little pale. Rebecca, it couldnt
have been a priest that church is abandoned, nobody goes there since they
found the body of the last vicar.

1. Long sentences - (1) writers create a list of

fearful or worrying details, which creates an
overwhelming, claustrophobic or intense feeling. (2)
Writers build suspense by leaving the most
shocking thing to the end of a long sentence. + Get
more on how to build tension through sentence
construction here.
2. Short sentences - punchy dramatic or abrupt
facts are delivered in a shocking way that visually
stands out. This can be particularly shocking after a
long sentence.
3. Fragments - an incomplete sentence.
Sometimes this gives the effect of confusion,
ragged thoughts. The incompleteness of the
utterance or phrase can create mystery, which
increases suspense.
e.g. My leg!
Here, we know something's very wrong with his leg,
but we don't know what.
4. Create mystery by giving incomplete
information. Writers often give characters'
reactions, before letting you know what happened,
i.e. emotions, mood or reactions first, then facts.
e.g. Everything was still, silent. My thoughts raced
madly. (but we still don't know how badly he's
injured).

5. Exciting, uncommon and dynamic

verbs create a sense of danger. This may also use
onomatopoeia to create a violent effect:

6. In the first person, we feel very close to the

danger, as if we're experiencing it too. Writers may
include characters' thoughts.
7. The present tense e.g. running, or runs. This
makes it feel as if it's happening right now.
8. Fear/action/violence contrasted with silent
pause. This builds a foreboding (ominous) mood,
as if something bad is about to happen. Do this in
your own writing and see how effective it is. It's like
varying short and long sentences.
9. Vary focus, zoom in on different
aspects: Here's a summary of how Touching the
Void by Joe Simpson, varies the pace by zooming
in on different aspects. I've broken a passage down
into chunks in the order in which they appear.
1. character falls down hill bodily: external action /
powerlessness
2. character thoughts: internal action
3. character pain: internal action
4. describes setting/ objects around him: zoom out
to set events in context
5. analysis of situation: shows significance of
danger, i.e. he will die if he can't solve this - reader
is emotionally invested
6. he tries to escape: external action / struggle

7. he thinks about how people will feel when they

find his mangled body: this refocuses on
danger/death
A. CHARACTERS
For maximum suspense, you should not use any old character. Readers are
only going to worry about, and identify with, characters they care about ones
who are both sympathetic and interesting.
1. Sympathetic characters are (after Brown):
o In trouble, or suffering in some way;
o Underdogs. It's difficult to empathise with a hero who is strong,
powerful and has everything going for him, but everyone cheers
when the underdog wins;
o Vulnerable, ie they can be killed, trapped, enslaved, destroyed
politically or professionally, or ruined financially or socially.
Vulnerability can come from the character's own physical,
mental or emotional shortcomings and conflicts as well as from
the machinations of the adversary; and
o Deserving because of their positive character traits (optimism,
courage, steadfastness, selflessness, compassion etc). A
character can be in trouble, an underdog and vulnerable, but if
he's also lazy, selfish or a whining liar readers won't identify with
him or care what happens to him, and his troubles will create
little suspense. This doesn't mean the character can't be a
villain. If he's acting for the best of reasons and the good
outweighs the bad, readers will identify with him.
2. Characters are likely to be interesting if (see Brown for a detailed
analysis) they're important, unusual or extraordinary. One reason we
love to read about such characters is wish-fulfilment living our lives
through the story, feeling the characters' hopes and fears, and being
awed by their achievements. Characters may be more interesting if
they're:
o Powerful because of noble birth, wealth, high office, rank or
position, intelligence or strength;
o Naturally gifted or highly skilled at something important or
useful;
o Unusual (in appearance, a rare ability or an amazing life
experience), extraordinary, strange, eccentric or downright
weird;
o Physically attractive, funny, dangerous or mysterious; or
o Surprising (they don't fit the stereotype of their character type).
Your characters should also be as different as possible, since they will often
be working together. Having highly contrasting characters maintains reader
interest, multiplies the potential for conflict with the hero and will suggest
many new subplot possibilities.
To build suspense through your characters:

3. They must have goals.

o Common goals are: to survive, escape, win the contest or battle,
become the leader, achieve their destiny, master the art, free the
slaves or change the world;
o The moment your hero forms a goal, readers will hope she
achieves it and worry about what will happen if she doesn't;
o Sometimes the goal (eg to survive or escape) will only appear
after the character is confronted with the problem (being stalked
by a killer, trapped in a bushfire).
4. A strong hero needs a strong opponent. The opponent isn't
necessarily a villain. It can be a good person who strongly disagrees
with the hero, a force of nature (flood, forest fire, epidemic), a beast or
alien, or an uncaring society. But when it is a villain:
o He should be at least as strong as the hero, and preferably
stronger. You can't make a strong story when the hero's
opponent is weak;
o Evil villains are a clich, and pure evil is both boring and
predictable, so make your villain human. Reveal his admirable
side, make his motivations clear, show why the bad things he
does make perfect sense to him, and you'll create a far more
chilling antagonist;
o If the villain is largely in the background, strengthen him by
revealing how much and why everyone fears him. Show his
power growing via his victories, one after another;
o Give him advantages the hero lacks, fanatical supporters, and
the power to lure away the hero's allies.
5. Tailor your characters to maximise suspense (for details, see
Lukeman and the other refs):
o A cautious hero won't go down the crumbling mine shaft, but an
impulsive or reckless hero will plunge in. A coward won't jump
into the sea to rescue drowning passengers, a brave man will do
so instinctively. If the hero has a phobia, such as a fear of
rodents, send her into a ruin full of rats;
o Often the hero's biggest limitation will be himself. Does he have
the strength of will to confront the woman who betrayed him, or
will he keep putting put it off? Is he plagued by self-doubt, or a
cock-eyed optimist who believes things will come right in the end
despite all evidence to the contrary?
o Does the hero have a destiny, eg to become the next lord,
president of the company, or to be the catalyst for revolution? Is
this destiny foretold in the story, or is it something he's known
since birth? Is it a positive destiny, an unbearable burden or a
dark and dangerous threat? Will he achieve it, or fail? And either
way, what are the consequences to him and to others?
o Create loose cannon characters. No one knows what they'll do
next and their unpredictability heightens suspense. Will the
reformed drunk crack under pressure and start drinking again?

Will the self-effacing heroine snap when pushed too far, and
explode?
6. Take away the hero's ability to defend herself (or others) and you
create intense suspense:
o She's being stalked in the dark, but drops her only weapon and
can't find it; she's injured and can't escape her enemy; her foot
is trapped in a crack and she can't get it out; or she's paralysed
by terror or self-doubt;
o She sees her friend heading across the rotten bridge but is too
far away to warn her; she rides to the rescue of an ally, knowing
she's going to arrive too late;
o He fails under pressure he could save the day with a magic
spell but forgets the words, or gets them wrong with disastrous
consequences;
o His efforts are in vain his son is suicidally depressed and he
can't get through to him;
o She believes that her fate (or a friend's, or the country's) is fixed
by destiny and nothing can change it.
7. Use rapidly changing emotions to build suspense. By showing the
hero's emotions changing rapidly in response to some threat or
confrontation you can build suspense to a crescendo that will bring
your readers to the edge of their seats, eg:
o Vague unease becomes fear becomes terror becomes shrieking
hysteria;
o Irritation becomes annoyance becomes anger becomes
murderous rage.
8. Create anticipation and expectation.
o The more your hero dwells on or worries about some
forthcoming event (good or bad) the more suspenseful it will be
when the event is about to occur a shy girl fretting about her
wedding night; a young recruit marching to battle, sick with fear;
o Have the hero make a complicated plan and be rashly confident
that it will succeed. This will worry your readers because they
know it's going to go wrong;
o Build up the hero's anticipation (of winning the contest, gaining
the prize, getting the girl) into expectation. Then, when he fails,
the blow will be bitter. He hasn't been beaten by the failure, but
by his defeated expectation.
9. Employ romantic and sexual tension. For variety or to further the
plot, action-related suspense can be alternated with suspense arising
from romantic or sexual tension between characters. Heighten
suspense by:
o Creating barriers to the relationship love between enemies,
between a human and an alien, a lover with a dark past or
terrible secret;

o Or by using obstacles to keep the lovers apart.

10. Use micro-tension the moment-by-moment tension that keeps
readers in suspense over what'll happen in the next minute. (See Don
Maass's terrific book The Fire in Fiction for details). Micro-tension
comes from the 'emotional friction' between characters as they try to
defeat each other. The characters aren't necessarily enemies, though.
There should be tension between any two characters, whether they are
opponents, servants, friends, allies or lovers. There should also be
tension within the character due to inner conflicts.
o In dialogue, show: the hero's doubt or disbelief about what the
other character is saying; the disagreement about goals or
plans; the disdain, dislike, contempt or concealed hatred; the
power struggles, and ego and personality clashes; bring out
inner conflicts in what each character says and does;
o Often action can be lacking in tension because we've seen it a
thousand times before there are only so many ways two
people can have a sword fight. To make action suspenseful, get
inside the head of the hero to show his conflicting feelings and
emotions during the struggle. Then, break the action clich by
showing subtle visual details that give the reader a clear and
vivid picture of this particular scene rather than any generic
action scene;
o Use similar techniques when writing sex or violence. Show the
key moments with a handful of striking visual images. Bring out
the hero's conflicting feelings and emotions at each moment,
focusing on subtle emotions rather than the obvious ones such
as (in sex scenes) passion, lust or tenderness;
o When the character is thinking or emoting, create suspense by
(a) cutting restated thoughts, feelings & emotions and (b)
making thoughts and emotions realistic. For instance, the hero
may be outwardly happy, but is concealing or fighting some
niggling worry. Or struggling with an inner conflict (justice versus
vengeance, duty to an bad leader vs personal honour);
o In descriptive passages and quiet moments, show little details
that make the setting vividly real and establish the mood of the
place. Describe the hero's conflicting feelings and emotions,
focusing on subtle emotions rather than obvious ones.

B. PROBLEM

The story begins when your character confronts a problem she has to solve,
or forms a goal she's determined to achieve. Problems can be of three kinds:
a danger, a want or lack, or a puzzle or mystery. Dangers and lacks arouse
suspense because the reader hopes the character will solve her problem, yet
fears the consequences if she fails. Puzzles and mysteries create suspense
through curiosity the reader wants to know the answer.
11. Put your characters (or their friends or allies) in danger (for details
see the references, especially Brown, Lyon and Lukeman).
o Dangers can be: physical (a threat to life, health or vital
functions such as eyesight, mobility or intellect); sexual (assault,
pregnancy, disease); psychological (abuse, bullying,
brainwashing); emotional; or moral (being led into crime,
corruption or depravity);
o Dangers can also threaten: the character's relationships (love,
friendship, family, clan, group or society); her profession, trade,
career or art; her property, possessions or prospects; her sanity;
her freedom;
o Alternatively, your character could be a danger to others (he's
violent, a rapist, a psychopath or just reckless), or to himself
(depressed, suicidal or reckless);
o Expose the hero to his darkest fear if he's claustrophobic, trap
him in a lift or a dungeon. Alternatively, make the imaginary
seem vividly real (eg someone who is paranoid or psychotic).
12. Give your character a want or lack that she's desperate to fulfil.
o To find love or romance, support or friendship;
o To escape from a blighted community or life;
o To master a skill, disciple or art, or realise a dream.
13. Pose a mystery or puzzle. In some kinds of stories, particularly crime
and mystery, suspense mainly comes from the puzzle the author has
set, and readers' curiosity about how the hero will solve it and what the
answer is (see (26 and (27)).
14. Force the hero to face the problem. Either:
o She has no choice because she can't get away. She's trapped in
a locked building, slave camp, spacecraft or bureaucratic maze;
o She has a choice but walking away would violate her own moral
or ethical code. Eg, she's on the run but sees a child in danger
and has to help, no matter the risk to herself;
o He has a choice but walking away would violate his professional
duty to act a munitions expert who has to defuse a bomb; a
priest who must exorcise a demon;
o He initially refuses but is talked (or talks himself) into it.
15. Raise the stakes.
o You can either raise the prize for succeeding, or raise the price
of failure or, preferably, both at the same time;

o These consequences can either apply to the hero, to people he

cares for, or those he has a duty to (eg a doctor looking after a
critically ill patient);
o Remember that both the prize and the price are relative if the
emperor wins or loses a skirmish it may be trivial, whereas
winning or losing his first battle will change the life of a young
lieutenant.
16. Make the problem more difficult to solve.
o Increase the likelihood that the character will lose, then show
what the specific personal consequences will be;
o Threats to the viewpoint character and his friends and family will
arouse far more reader anxiety, and create more suspense, than
problems facing people he doesn't know, or people in another
province or country.
17. Shorten the deadline.
o Constantly remind your hero of the time limit;
o Then cut it in half;
o Slow down key scenes to heighten suspense. Show them in
greater than normal detail to bring readers right into the
moment.
18. Break reader expectations.
o Readers are constantly guessing what's going to happen next,
based on stories they've read before, but if they know what's
going to happen, suspense dies;
o Analyse the hero's problem and come up with unusual twists
and reversals, new problems and difficult conflicts that will
confound reader expectations of what's going to happen.
C. PLOT
Plot is made up of the hero's successive actions get what he wants (ie to
solve the story problem) and the opponent's corresponding actions to stop
him. To build suspense to an explosive pitch at the climax of the story, each
new action by the hero needs to be blocked by his opponent, and either fails
or leads to an even bigger problem until the climactic scene where the story
problem is finally resolved one way or another.
19. Make the story problem clear. A surprising number of manuscripts fail
to set out either:
o What the hero's real problem or goal is;
o Or the nature of the obstacle or antagonist that's trying to stop
him achieving this goal;
o Or only do so many pages into the story.
The real story doesn't begin until the hero formulates a goal and takes action
to get it (see Cleaver, Immediate Fiction). Until this happens there can be little
suspense or story interest, so make the hero's goal clear as early as possible.
20. Put the hero at a disadvantage. Examples:

o At the beginning, the hero may not know how to solve her
problem; or may not understand what the real problem is (eg,
she's mistaken about her real enemy);
o She lacks the skills to solve her problem (eg needs magic but
doesn't have any; has a gift for magic but doesn't know how to
use it);
o She has critical personality flaws, eg her obsession with gaining
justice for her murdered mother blinds her to vital friendships;
his violent past leaves him paralysed with guilt; his racism leads
him to refuse the aid of the one person who can help him;
o She's handicapped physically, mentally, emotionally
21. Increase the pressure in unpredictable ways (for details, see the
references, especially Lyon):
o Test the hero's abilities to breaking point. Take away her friends
and supporters, undermine her assets and any options she's
relying on, block her escape routes, cut the deadline in half,
devalue her strongest beliefs or the things she most cares
about. Anything that can go wrong, should go wrong not just
for her, but for everyone;
o Give her more simultaneous problems than anyone can handle,
so she makes damaging mistakes. Distract her with an
unexpected sexual attraction. Have disagreements escalate out
of control. Give her an impossible dilemma that will trouble her
for ages.;
o Thwart her at every turn. If she's relying on aid, information or
some object or talisman, have it fail to appear, or be stolen, lost
or destroyed when it's almost within her grasp. If she has a vital
talent or skill, rob her of the ability to use it when she needs it
most;
o Arouse suspicion about some of her friends or allies, or use
dramatic irony (see (23), below) to make readers suspect them
even if the hero does not. Have a trusted ally betray her, desert
her or go over to the enemy;
o Foreshadow her fate or peril, to the audience and other
characters even if not to herself. Use mysterious documents or
eerie settings or symbols to create uneasiness, or show that
things are not as they seem;
o Have the hero lose contact with her mentor; injure the hero; use
forces of nature (weather, fire, flood, difficult terrain) to block her;
o Plant red herrings. Have the hero jump to false conclusions that
lead her in the wrong direction or to make disastrous mistakes,
or to fall into a trap. Have failures caused by misunderstandings
or poor communication;
o Set the action within some greater conflict (cultural renaissance,
political drama, social upheaval, war, religious persecution) or
tailor social institutions to make everything more difficult
(paranoid government, martial law, police state, secret society);

o Create an emotional time bomb (something vitally important to

the hero) then, at some critical time, have it destroyed or lost;
o Lull the hero (and readers) into a false sense of security by
having things go too well for a scene or two, then create a
disaster;
o Show the hero thinking over past events and seeing something
she missed that's worrying or ominous. Or, when it's too late,
coming to a dreadful realisation.
22. Create conflict with everyone and everything.
o With the opponent see (4) above;
o With family, friends and allies see (10) above;
o With people the hero meets on the way they may be hostile,
unreliable, treacherous, incompetent or give false or incorrect
information;
o With the setting (see 25) below, including landscape, weather,
culture, politics, bureaucracy, religion;
o Inner conflict see (22) below.
23. Create inner conflicts and dilemmas.
o Give the hero impossible challenges or agonising choices that
test his courage, skill & moral fibre;
o Force a good man to make invidious choices, eg between
informing on his corrupt mother or betraying his country;
o A girl sees two friends in danger and can only save one. How
does she decide whom to save and whom to let die?
o Make the hero choose between strongly held ideals
(duty/honour, family/justice). Force a pacifist to fight. Require a
reformed drunk to drink.
24. Use dramatic irony (ie, your readers know something vital that the
characters aren't aware of):
o The heroine is enjoying a glass of wine by the fire, unaware that
the killer is looking in through the window. She's not anxious, but
readers are on the edge of their seats;
o The hero doesn't realise that he's got things disastrously wrong,
but it's obvious to the reader (and perhaps to other characters,
too);
o Write some scenes from the villain's viewpoint so readers can
worry about the trap closing on the unsuspecting hero;
o A character bears vital or troubling news but events conspire to
delay (or prevent) its delivery to those who need to know.
25. Use the unknown to create anxiety.
o Set a scene where some terrible disaster or tragedy once
occurred. The place need not necessarily be dangerous, but
fear of the unknown or the past will make it seem so;
o Arouse fear of some danger the character has to face this
could be a real-life danger (fighting a monster, swimming a

flooded river) or an uncanny one (spending the night in a ghostridden graveyard);

o Or an everyday ordeal (a daunting interview; meeting the
girlfriend's parents; sitting a difficult exam).
26. Put your hero in a perilous place. Analyse your scene settings and
work out how you can change them to heighten tension:
o Move the scene to a dangerous or unpredictable place. Instead
of a park, use a derelict factory, a minefield or a sinking ship;
o Make an everyday place seem dangerous, eg the hero must
race across a rugged landscape in a fog;
o Change the scene from day to night, good weather to bad,
peace to riot or war, or put the hero in the middle of a plague
epidemic.
27. Create mysteries. As noted above, mysteries and puzzles create
suspense both because the hero has to work them out and because
the reader wants to know the answer.
o How did the disaster occur?
o How did a good man (or company, or nation) take this fatal step
into crime, addiction, insanity or war?
o Is this document true, or a despicable lie?
o What do these clues mean?
o Why is this device or talisman here and how is it
28. Design puzzles. These can either be intellectual or physical:
o Intellectual riddles, conundrums, paradoxes, illusions etc;
o Physical how do I get in or out? Locked room mysteries.
Puzzles requiring dexterity.
29. Leave issues and crises unresolved (especially at chapter or scene
endings) and tension will rise because readers long for the resolution.
Uncertainty and anticipation are interlinked and create suspense:
o Uncertainty can be heightened with unexpected twists, sudden
reversals and shocking disasters;
o Foster anticipation by having the characters set out their goals,
then by using omens, portents and foreshadowing to arouse
unease about the goals being met;
o Within scenes, heighten reader anticipation by using distractions
and interruptions to delay longed-for meetings, confrontations,
resolution of an important event, delivery of vital news etc.
30. Use reversals. Reversals of the expected are used to break
expectations, clichs and repetition.
o Lead your readers in a particular direction in order to create
expectations about the outcome, then throw in a reversal that
breaks the expectation. This heightens readers' anticipation, and
thus suspense, because they have no idea what's going to
happen now.

o Scour your story for clichd character types, plot elements,

emotions, dialogue, action and reactions, then use reversals
where appropriate to break the clich.
o Do the same where you find repetition of character types, plot
elements, emotions, dialogue, action and reactions.
31. Secrets. The existence of a secret creates suspense because readers
want to know the answer:
o Rarely, a big secret can form the suspense backbone for a
whole novel, such as: Who was the traitor? What happened to
the money? The secret has to be developed throughout the
story by drip-feeding clues that heighten the secret rather than
revealing it;
o Smaller secrets can be used to heighten suspense within
scenes, eg the Hogwarts letter withheld from Harry Potter in the
first book of the series, and the mysterious event (the Triwizard
Tournament) which people keep alluding to early in the fourth
book.
32. Use subtext (see Lyon for details). Subtext is 'everything hidden from
the awareness or observation of non-viewpoint characters'. Subtext
based on rising tension will create suspense. Some sources are:
o The hero's physical state, feelings and emotions: eg, tears
forming, sexual attraction or lust, concealed hatred, a need to
throw up;
o Hidden agendas, ie the character's private thoughts, intentions
and plans;
o In the natural environment: a red glow over the forest, the
ground shaking, the call of a wild beast;
o In the built environment: a patch of oil on the stair, a pram on the
edge of the railway platform;
o Other characters' behaviour or body language: man sharpening
a dagger, child playing near a cliff edge.
33. Turn a dramatic event into a question. Beware of having the event
completely answer a question or resolve a problem, as this undercuts
suspense. Instead, have the event raise more questions, which draws
out the suspense:
o For small events, draw out the answer over a few sentences or
paragraphs. Eg, policeman knocks on the door late at night.
Instead of revealing upfront that the man's wife is dead, draw out
the mystery about how the crash occurred and what's happened
to her;
o For major events, the resolution can be drawn out over pages or
even chapters;
o Scour the story for questions that deflate suspense because
they're answered too soon, and draw out the answer.
34. Make it worse.

o There's no problem so bad that you can't make it worse, and

you should take every opportunity to do so. But why would you
want to?
o Because character is revealed not in good times but in adversity.
The worse you can make it for the hero, the more his true
character will be revealed by what he does, the more the reader
will worry about him and the greater the suspense.
D. STRUCTURE
Readers read to identify with the characters and live their stories, suffering the
ordeals the characters go through, worrying about them and dreading that
they'll fail to achieve their goals, yet hoping and praying that they'll succeed.
At the end, readers want to see the characters resolve their problems, and
long for that tidal wave of relief when all the dramatic tension and suspense
built up through the story is finally released. To build suspense, the novel
needs careful structuring to:
a. Clearly present the hero and his goal to the reader in the beginning;
b. Portray the hero's increasingly difficult struggle to defeat the adversary
and achieve the goal;
c. End scenes and chapters in ways that create reader uncertainty and
anticipation (see (28) above; and
d. Show how the hero achieves his goal (or not) at the climax, then
satisfyingly release all the built-up tension.
35. Structure the beginning to create suspense (see Brown for details):
o Create a hero who is both sympathetic and interesting (see (1)
and (2) above);
o Set out the story problem (ie the hero's goal) clearly, and why he
must pursue this goal;
o Reveal the obstacle (the adversary or force that's trying to
prevent the hero from achieving his goal);
o Twist both the characters and the goal to break stereotypes,
freshen the story and surprise the reader.
36. Tailor the hero's actions to heighten suspense: In each scene, the
hero faces some problem related to her goal. The actions she takes to
solve the problem should either:
o Partially succeed, though worryingly (she finds a clue to the
murder, but following it will lead her into greater danger);
o Succeed but lead to a bigger problem (he kills the giant spider
but now another hundred are hunting him); or
o Fail and make the problem worse (she breaks into the enemy's
fortress to steal the documents, but they're not there and now
she's trapped).
37. Vary the hero's fortunes to maintain and heighten suspense
throughout the story.
o If every scene runs at fever pitch and ends disastrously, the law
of diminishing returns sets in the reader becomes desensitised
to the drama, and suspense dies;

o Instead, alternate tense action or drama scenes with calmer

ones, and end a few scenes with the hero succeeding, and with
moments of peace, happiness or hope. Variety in endings
maintains suspense because the reader knows the success is
only temporary; the opponent will never give up trying to defeat
the hero;
o To heighten suspense, make the hero's failures progressively
worse, and his dark moments bleaker, towards the climax.
38. Sequence the antagonist's reactions to progressively heighten the
hero's troubles.
o Look at each scene from the antagonist's point of view and ask
how he can make things worse for the hero. What action will
cause the hero the most trouble, and what's the worst time it can
occur?
o To heighten suspense, make these troubles progressively worse
towards the climax, until it seems impossible that the hero can
win.
39. Heighten critical scenes. Identify the key events in the story (those
moments of intense drama that are also turning points) because they
need to be carefully set up and treated differently (see Lyon). Key
events can be positive (love scenes, celebrations at war's end, the
award of prizes or honours) or crises (murders, defeat in battle, guilty
verdicts, terrible realisations). Build suspense by:
o Foreshadowing the coming event to raise worrying questions
and create reader anticipation. This can be done via characters
thinking about or debating the possibility (eg of war), and making
plans and preparations for the worst, as well as by omens,
foretellings, signs and symbols;
o Writing a small scene or moment which hints at the coming
critical scene (a burning house hints at the violence and ruin of
war); a shouting match foreshadows the murder to come;
o Then a reversal a moment that's the opposite of the coming
critical scene. Eg, in a trial, the overconfident defence lawyer
has a lavish lunch with friends before returning to hear a
shattering guilty verdict; immediately before the joyous wedding,
the couple have a furious argument; the soldier relaxes with his
family before going to bloody war. This contrast makes the
critical scene far more powerful;
o In the critical scene, use all the dramatic techniques at your
disposal to raise the scene to a higher peak of suspense than
anything that has gone before;
o Afterwards, make sure the hero emotes about all that has
happened, reviews how the event has made his problems
worse, and reformulates his plans.
40. Climax, Resolution and Endings.

o Vary your scene endings to maximise suspense. Some scenes

should end at moments of high drama, many with unanswered
questions, several with shocking twists, a few with emotional
completion, and some with no more than a wry observation or
pithy phrase.
o The climax of the story, where the greatest obstacle is overcome
and the hero's story problem is finally resolved one way or
another, is the biggest of all the critical scenes and must
coincide with the highest point of tension and suspense.
o If the greatest tension occurs in a scene before the climax, the
ending of the story will be anticlimactic and the reader will feel
let down.
o If the story's resolution is weak, contrived, over too quickly or in
any other way fails to match the build-up of suspense to the
climax, readers will be bitterly disappointed;
o In most novels, all the key questions will be answered by the
end, and the resolution provides a sense of completion plus the
blissful release from suspense that readers are waiting for.
Some stories may end with a dilemma, however the main
story has been resolved but there's still a question raised in the
reader's mind about what choice the hero will make.
o Stories which are part of a series should resolve most of the
story questions at the end, but the overarching series question
(eg will Harry Potter defeat Lord Voldemort) remains and creates
ongoing suspense until the series ends.
41. In editing.
o Review the story scene by scene, rate each scene out of 10 for
its level of suspense, then plot the sequence of suspense
ratings. Ideally the graph should be a zigzagging line rising
progressively to the climax of the story, then falling away in the
resolution.
o Does the story have flat periods with little suspense? Insufficient
breaks from high suspense? The highest suspense occurring
before the climax? Suspenseful moments that are too quickly
resolved? Critical scenes where the suspense is too low, too
brief or too similar to other scenes? A powerful climax ruined by
a weak resolution? Work out how to fix these problems.
o Common scene problems that lower suspense include: lack of a
clear goal for the scene; stakes too low; lack of an obstacle or
weak obstacle; too little conflict; too much thought or talk and
not enough action; too much action and not enough thought,
emotion or reflection; no twist or disaster at the end (see Lyon
for a detailed analysis).
o Analyse your characters (see (2) above). Can you modify or
change certain character traits to vary the kinds of suspense in
the story, and to heighten it in key scenes?