FADE IN:

EXT. LONDON - BUCKINGHAM PALACE - SERVICE ENTRANCE - 1952 DAY

A ROYAL GUARDSMAN stands at attention. Proud. Stoic.
Immovable.
QUEEN
(V.O.)
It started off like any ordinary
morning.
The EMERGENCY RED PHONE RINGS. The Royal Guardsman picks it
up, warily.
ROYAL GUARDSMAN
Hello?
QUEEN
(V.O.)
But it wasnt ordinary.
DR. MANIAC, 42 and completely insane, calls from a red
British pay phone.
INTERCUT phone conversation
DR. MANIAC
Whyd the chicken cross the road?
ROYAL GUARDSMAN
What? Who is this?
DR. MANIAC
He wanted to get to the other
side...
Dr. Maniac laughs maniacally.
ROYAL GUARDSMAN
This is a secure line. How did you
get this number?
DR. MANIAC
You gave it to me.
The Royal Guardsman looks at the phone in bewilderment.
Suddenly a club BASHES him over the head.
He slumps to the ground. Unconscious.
A PAIR OF HANDS

2.

Grab the keys that hang around the Guardsmans waist.

DR. MANIAC (CONTD)
Ah, Simon. I always told you not to
carry your master key with you.
INT. BUCKINGHAM PALACE THRONE ROOM DAY
QUEEN ELIZABETH sits on her throne. A ROYAL GUARDSMAN runs
in, breathless. Delivers a letter to her.
ROYAL GUARDSMAN NO. 2
Your majesty, Im sorry for the
intrusion, but...
She opens it. Reads:
INSERT - LETTER
Words scrawled in blood: YOU HAVE FIFTEEN SECONDS TO LIVE.
YOURS ALWAYS, DR. MANIAC
CLOSE - QUEENS EYES
They focus on the letter, then dart back to Royal Guardsman
No.2 who is now revealed as-DR. MANIAC
Smiling. THREE KILLER NINJAS stand behind him.
DR. MANIAC
Hello, Lisbeth. Its been awhile.
Dr. Maniac pulls a Laser Pistol from his waist. The Ninjas
pull Ninja stars out.
Queen Elizabeth dives off the throne.
NINJA STARS THUD into the back of the throne.
DR. MANIAC (CONTD)
Come on, guys!
She hides behind a stone pillar. A LASER BLAST SMASHES above
her head.
Looks down at the necklace around her neck. Remembering:

3.

INT. LONDON - KEW GARDENS - LAKE - SUNSET [FLASHBACK - 1946]

Queen Elizabeth and Dr. Maniac sit at a park bench. Watching
the sun go down. Tourists walk by, unaware the Queen of
england sits nearby in disguise.
QUEEN
I love you.
DR. MANIAC
Then whats the problem.
QUEEN
Its your name. I cant possibly be
with someone named...
DR. MANIAC
Dr. Maniac
(stands, walks toward the
lake)
Tell your mum its German.
(gets down on one knee)
Or tell your mum youre getting
married.
He pulls out a ring. The Queen gasps.
ANGLE ON QUEEN AND DR MANIAC
They are being watched by somebody across the lake.
BACK TO SCENE
The Queen rushes to Dr. Maniac. Kisses him.
QUEEN
Yes, I will marry you.
REVERSE ANGLE
Across the lake the QUEEN MUM, Elizabeths mother, watches.
She motions to a Royal Guardsman.
QUEEN MUM
Its time for Operation Phillip.
END FLASHBACK
The Queen backs farther into the corner.
DR. MANIAC
Come on, Elizabeth. I just want to
talk.

4.

Dr. Maniac fires his Laser Blaster into the wall above the
Queen.
She speaks into her watch.
QUEEN
(whispers)
Hes here. Meet me in the Armory.
CUT TO:
THRONE ROOM HALLWAY
TRACKING SHOT - QUEEN
Springs past a Gaugin painting. A MACHINE GUN ERUPTS over her
head.
NINJAS
Follow in pursuit.
ARMORY
The room is filled with ancient suits of armor and primitive
war protection.
The Queen passes a suit of armor. She thinks.
MOMENTS LATER
The Ninjas walk past the suit of armor. Dr. Maniac behind
them.
He stops. Looks around. Is she here?
QUEENS POV (INSIDE SUIT OF ARMOR) - NINJAS
Dr. Maniac appears to stare right at her.
BACK TO SCENE
Dr. Maniac staring at suit of armor. He knocks at the side of
it. Nothing.
DR. MANIAC
(to Ninjas)
Lets try the gift shop. I need a
souvenir.
NEW ANGLE - RAFTERS
A Soviet Cosmonaut suit hangs in the ceiling of the Armory. A
hand opens the face shield.

5.

Its PRINCE PHILLIP, husband to the Queen.

DOWN ANGLE - QUEEN ELIZABETH
As she climbs out of the suit of armor.
PHILLIP
(O.S.)
How long do I have to stay up here?
CLOSE ON - QUEENS FACE
QUEEN
Until I come up with a way to save
the world. Again.
FADE TO BLACK.