The Kinder Boxer

is saying. We can only imagine his

reasoning.

Who knew a kindergartner could be

capable of causing such harm? For the
past few days, this has been the

By: DonTre McFarland

Out of Crayons

question that the Mayberry Elementary

School staff have been asking. On

Students attending Mayberry Grade

Monday, June 8th, kindergarten teacher

School are in a dither this morning over

Steven J. Saladino was found in his

a missing crayon scandal. Supposedly,

classroom curled on the floor

last night around 11pm the

in what-could-only-be-

school's janitor forget to lock

described-as the fetal

the door to the school. A

position. Standing on top of

farmer from the neighboring

him was new student Mike

farm had snuck into the town

Tyson. He was seen

and stole every single crayon

stomping, kicking, and

in the school. He rummaged

punching his teacher

through desks, lockers, lost

repeatedly before both the

and found backpacks, and

P.E. and music teachers teamed up to

supply closets to find Crayons. When

reprimand the little fighter. It has been

students returned to school, they found

reported that Mr. Saladino was admitted

there were no crayons! Teachers

into the hospital after the unthinkable

followed a trail of dropped crayons to

confrontation with a handful of scrapes

the neighboring farm where they found

and bruises. He is doing just fine, but he

the farmer feeding the crayons to his

is a little embarrassed to say the least, a

cows. Sheriff Andy was called and

statement given by his wife. As for Mike

arrested the man for trespassing,

Tyson, he is now being questioned

stealing property, and endangering the

about his violent behavior. However, no

life of his cows. When asked why he

one can understand a word the little guy

was feeding the crayons to the cows he

declined to comment. As part of his

class arrived in the classroom to find toy

punishment the farmer was asked to

dinosaurs all over the floor. She thought

donate crayons to the school to

it was a bit strange but picked them up

replenish their stock and to assist with

not far from their storage container and

teaching art classes. Looks like

put them back. That afternoon, after

Mayberry may have a new crazy art

picking up her students from the lunch

teacher.

room, those toy dinosaurs had not fallen

By: Kaitlyn Hoskins

off the shelf but were a soapy mess in

the sink. One of the students

Dinosaur or Nah?
It was a quiet day in Mayberry. The
students had finished the
school year. The teachers
had one more day to
clean up and wrap up
everything before locking
that classroom door for
the next 3 months. Mrs.
Zignorelia was her name
but the students just
called her Mrs. Z. She was enjoying her
last day before summer break and was
reminiscing about that one mysterious
day with those toy dinosaurs. The
students gave Mrs. Z all the credit but

volunteered saying, Ill put them away

Mrs. Z! She scratched her head,
thinking that maybe it was one of her
students being forgetful to
put them away. Well on
this last day of school,
Mrs. Z was the only
person in her classroom.
She took a bathroom
break and upon returning
all the toys were cleaned
up. Mrs. Z states that those toy
dinosaurs did it for her. She says that a
note was left for her thanking her for a
great school year. She was told that she
was in desperate need of summer break

what they didnt know was that Mrs. Z

and sent on her way.

was just as mystified as her students

Is it just a silly story to tell future

about what had happened. You see on

students? Or are there really dinosaurs

January 12th of this past year, Mrs. Z

straight from Toy Story inhabiting that

had left a normal classroom to go pick

2cd grade classroom? Has this teacher

up her students at 8:45am. At 9am the

taught one too many years and is

beginning to lose her marbles? The

lessons, they heard the sounds of cows

choice is yours.

much too close to the school. The

By: Susan Woods

teacher, Ms. Crump, noticed the cows

were loose and wandering all over the

State Fair Chaos

This weekend at the state fair a student
from the Mayberry Grade School was
awarded first place for the largest
hamster. The hamster, Godzilla weighed
in at a massive 15 pounds.
Unfortunately, there was a bit of chaos
on the fairgrounds with the goats, which

schoolyard. She sent the fastest

student to run to the sheriff's office to
alert Sheriff Andy Taylor. Sheriff Taylor
was at home for the lunch hour, bur
Deputy Barney Fife was ready to save
the day. Deputy Fife needed a hand,
and had many volunteers from the class
of students. With the help of Opie
Taylor and many

caused many animals

other eager students,

to get loose. The

they were able to

prize hamster was

round up the cows.

the only winner for

Deputy Fife had the

our town. Sadly in an

students encircle the

attempt to rescue the

cows and then move

hamster it ran into the

pig pen. It was quickly eaten up by our
rival town's pig. Sheriff Andy is still on
the lookout for the fairs largest spider
weighing in at ten pounds and with legs
extending up to two feet. Also be aware
of the wild goats loose near the market.

the cows back into

their fence. Sheriff Taylor came to the
scene and was notified the owner of the
cows to repair the broken fence to keep
the cows in the pasture. After all that
work, the students were too wound up to
go back to their lessons. Aunt Bee

By: Andrea Spiller

Cows on the Loose

came down to the schoolhouse with

some fresh apple pies to reward the
students for their hard work. Then Ms.

While students in the Mayberry

Grammar School were practicing their

Crump dismissed school for the day,

saying they would work twice as hard

School Carnival Next Week

tomorrow.
As a reminder, Mayberry Elementary will
By: Julie Stockhard

Mayberry School has been

overrun by cows that type!

hosting the annual carnival on April 5th

from 12pm-10pm on school grounds. All
proceeds will go towards the school for
supplies and possible field trips! You

On an early Wednesday morning, the

can purchase your tickets ahead of time

principle, Steve Salas, decided to go

in the school office or at the ticket booth

into school early to prepare for national

near the entrance. You will be able to

reading week. He was in for a huge

use the tickets for food, games, rides,

surprise! Upon arrival at the school, he

and drinks; which will cost between 1-5

noticed a foul smell

tickets for each. You'll

and tracks, tracks

have a chance to

that were not human.

Water Dunk your

The door was

teacher in our game

covered with cud and

section, ride ferries

the front office was

wheels, pony rides,

full of cows. Brown

face painting, cake

cows, black cows,

walks, and so much

pink cows, every kind

more; Don't miss out

of milk-making cow was present! They

on a fun filled day And come support the

were all different, except for one thing.

school! All ages welcome! If you have

They all could type! All of their letters

any questions, please contact the

were to a strange man named Farmer

school for more information.

Brown, who is currently being detained

by the local authorities. Students are
beginning to get hot and anxious on this
summer day, wondering why their milk
cows have gone rogue.
By: Morgan White

By: Veronica Arias