12 CHOICES...

That Lead to Your Success

Author: David Cottrell

Publisher: CornerStone Leadership Institute
Date of Publication: 2005
ISBN : 0 9762528 1 3
No. of Pages: 134 pages

About the Author

Wisdom in a Nutshell
Most people view success as being at the right place at the right time, or
mainly because of luck, or something that has been passed on to them by
their ancestors. But in reality, though these may help, success is ultimately
the consequence of making the right choices.

David Cottrell
David Cottrell is a premier authority
on leadership and an internationally
known speaker, author and business
executive. His 25-plus years of
professional experience are reflected
in more than 20 highly acclaimed
books, in his programs and
presentations, and in the success of
h i s c o m p a n y, C o r n e r S t o n e
Leadership Institute.
David knows leadership firsthand.
With a degree in Marketing from the
University of Arkansas, he joined
Xerox Corporation, where he became
at age 24 one of the youngest sales
managers in the companys history.
After a decade with Xerox, David
spent ten years with FedEx in various
leadership roles. He was named to
the Presidents Club each year he was
with the organization and is, to this
day, the only person to have been
selected

The choices that people make can only lead them in either of two directions:
closer to or further from the success they are trying to achieve. Success, in
whatever form, is dependent on the good choices that one makes, and the
avoidance of the bad choices.
There is not much difference between a highly successful individual and a
not-so-successful person, except for the choices they decide to makeor not
make. With these choices, one takes control of his or her success.
Every single moment of a person's life requires him or her to make a choice,
from the simplest to the most complicated. And for one to make good
choices, it requires his or her utmost attention, until making good choices
becomes a subconscious habit.
Fortunately, it is never too late to learn or start making good choices.

District Manager of the Year for two

consecutive years. Davids leadership
achievements were the result of his
focus on training and development
and his belief that he could expect the
best from people by investing in
them.
Visit this site to know more about the
works of David Cottrell:
Http://www.cornerstoneleadership.c
om

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12 CHOICES By David Cottrell

Introduction
What differentiates successful people from the rest?
It is not being at the right place at the right time, or
being born in the right family, or having everything
come their way. Successful people are willing to
make choices that other people would rather not
make.

up to the person, whether one will let him or herself

become a victim, or if he or she will rise up.
Once the choice to positively and proactively deal
with the unexpected has been made, then it is
important for one to keep on moving forward, one
step in front of the other.

The twelve different choices presented by David

Cottrell can be grouped into three major choices: (1)
Character choices; (2) Action choices; and (3)
Investment choices.

Not everything that happens is a person's doing.

Certain situations may be caused by external factors,
and are mostly beyond a person's control. What is in
one's hands is the way he or she will react to the
situation.

Character choices are those that help make a

successful person but at the same time, these are the
choices that are not seen by other people. These
choices are known only by the person making the
decisions. Under this category fall the No-Victim
Choice, the Commitment Choice, the Values Choice,
and the Integrity Choice.

The unexpected almost always happens.

It is just a matter of knowing how to deal
with such occurrences.

Action choices are those that help a person actually

move in the direction of success, which include the
To-Do Something Choice, the Persistence Choice,
the Attitude Choice, and the Adversity Choice.
Investment choices are those choices that help one
attain the rewards of their success. Included here
are the Relationship Choice, the Criticism Choice,
the Reality Choice, and the Legacy Choice.
It is important to understand each of the twelve
choices individually and collectively, in order to fully
comprehend how all these lead to one's success.

Chapter 1: The No-Victim Choice

The unexpected almost always happens. It is just a
matter of knowing how to deal with such
occurrences. Whatever happens to an individual, it
is much more important to learn how to react in
certain situations.
Success is not a one-time deal. It is an ongoing
process, and most definitely includes ups and
downs.
Everyone will fall into the victim trap. It is a natural
and almost instinctive reaction. But the choice is still

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There are three things that one can do in order to

make the no-victim choice:
! Expect the unexpected.
! Look for alternatives.
! Spend time and energy looking for solutions,
not excuses.

Chapter 2: The Commitment Choice

Staying committed to a decision one has made
requires passion, because with a passionate
commitment to achieve something or reach a certain
goal, one will go at great lengths.
In order to make more progress, it helps to surround
one's self with people who choose to be passionately
committed, as individuals have a tendency to feed off
similar people.
Certain, or rather most, people refuse to believe that
one person can make a difference; that as an
individual, a person has enough power in his or her
hands. More than anything, it is important for one to
give what was previously thought as impossible a

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shot, because one will never really know until one
has tried.

understand why they have become enemies in the

first place.

First, one makes the choice to commit him or

herself. Then, one invests his or her time, energy,
money, and everything else needed to achieve his
or her goal. The keyword here is sacrifice.

The old adage, "Birds of the same feather, flock

together" and "Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell
you who you are," are both true in more ways than
one. It is important to choose carefully the people in
one's life because they can affect a person
immensely, whether positively or negatively.

Individuals who are passionately committed do what

they say they'll do; they walk the talk. They see
themselves achieve their goals, because not only do
they just sit down and make plans; but they actually
go about their plans. They do not make grand
promises and deliver things half-baked. Though
failure is not in their vocabulary, they are not hard on
themselves when they fall short; rather, they use
these as stepping stones to make themselves better
individuals that make better choices.
There are three things that one can do in order to
make the commitment choice:
! Stay the course.
! Surround one's self with people who are
equally passionately committed.
! Clarify one's commitment.

Chapter 3: The Values Choice

Everyone has enemies. And the more successful a
person becomes, the more enemies he or she will
have. And these enemies are in a person's life for
whatever reason imaginable.
As Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can please all
of the people some of the time and some of the
people all of the time, but you cannot please all the
people all the time."
When enemies come into a person's life, the more
logical and more productive choice is to welcome
them, because they are actually offshoots of
success. This does not mean that one should
create enemies, because they will surface on their
own. And because you cannot please everyone,
then it is important to choose which individuals you
are and are not going to please.
In order to successfully deal with one's enemies, it is
first important to identify these people and

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Just as one should give much thought in choosing his

or her friends, it is just as important to choose one's
enemies carefully, because just like the former, a bad
choice can be devastatingly crucial to one's success
or failure.

Everyone has enemies. And the more

successful a person becomes, the more
enemies he or she will have.

There are three things that one can do in order to

make the values choice:
! Surround one's self with people of similar
values.
! Take the time to identify one's enemies and
understand why.
! Understand that one cannot please all the
people all the time.

Chapter 4: The Integrity Choice

Honesty, integrity, and trust are three characteristics
connected with one another. People of integrity gain
other people's trust.
Choosing to be a person of integrity has got to be one
of the most difficult choices a person will ever have to
make. More than just doing the right thing, doing the
right thing when no one else is watching is much more
challenging.

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Integrity is not something that one can practice in
moderation, or only with a select group of people. It
is something that an individual either possess or
does not have at all. More than anything else, the
presenceor in some cases, lack ofintegrity reveals
an individual's true character.
The integrity choice is one of the most important
choices a person will ever have to make in his or her
lifetime, as this will determine each and every
action, including the roads to his or her long-term
successes.

from other factors, books are what shape an

individuals philosophies and values. The knowledge
that one can learn from other people is endless. It is
through this unending learning process that one will
achieve more success.
There are three different kinds of people: (1) those
who make something happen; (2) those who watch
things happen; and (3) those who wonder what
happened. Obviously, successful people belong in
the first category. These people don't allow life to just
happen in front of them; they take control.

One's integrity will be put to the test in more ways

than one. And it is important to be able to pass this
test with flying colors, as people will never forget
such mistakes.

Regardless of one's status, it is important to hone an

individual's communication skills, because one can
never be truly successful if he or she cannot get his or
her point across. Whether it's speaking in front of a
group, or writing a simple e-mail, or effective listening,
communication is a key factor to success.

In order to successfully deal with one's

enemies, it is first important to identify
these people and understand why they
have become enemies in the first place.

Fear is something that we learn throughout the years.

Notice how younger individuals, particularly children,
seem to not have the notion of fear in their minds.
With this lack of such a concept, they are able to do
more things, or even just think of being able to do
them. What is important is going past one's fears and
keep on moving forward. Mistakes and failures will
always be part of life; no one is spared. People who
are on the road to success will go past these
roadblocks and keep on moving on, until they have
reached their goal.

There are three things that one can do in order to

make the integrity choice: (1) Guard one's integrity
as though it is the most important possession; (2)
Realize that there are no "time outs" with one's
integrity; and (3) Do the right thing.

Chapter 5: The Do-Something Choice

Deciding to do something and actually doing that
something are two completely different things. One
should never remain contented with the status quo.
Even if the way things are have been good, there is
always room for improvement. Life will always
throw things in people's directions, but it is important
to know how to shake it all off and do something.
There is actually a direct relationship between the
number and quality of books a person reads and the
level of success he or she attains, because aside

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Just as a person has made the choice to become

successful, it is actually just as important to look
successful. Individuals who have made it to the top
are those that are worthy of much admiration and
respect.
Now is the right time to begin on the road to success.
It is never too late.
There are three things that one can do in order to
make the do-something choice:
! Spend more time on action and less on
thinking.
! Study successful people.
! Keep learning. Read every day.

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Chapter 6: The Persistence Choice

Success never happens overnight. The road is
long, winding. The only way to be able to go down
this path is to persevere.
There are individuals who have great talents and
abilities, only for others to see them go to waste.
And there are those who seem like average people,
and yet these individuals surpass the former group.
The difference between these two is their choice to
persist, to stick it out until the end.
Failure will always be part of life. It is almost often
the precedent to success. The road to success will
always have roadblocks and speed bumps.
Successful people are those who persevere despite
these, overcoming these obstacles, and not
stopping until they reach their goal.
What is more important is learning from past
mistakes and failures in order to make more
informed and better choices. What separates
successful individuals from the others is their ability
to turn failures into successes.
There are three things that one can do in order to
make the persistence choice:
! When one reaches roadblocks, don't give up.
! Failure is a learning tool.
! If one wants to win, one has to stay in the
game.

Chapter 7: The Attitude Choice

A person's attitude affects those around him or her,
both in a positive and negative way, and every
aspect of his or her life. It is not something that is
just a reaction, an automatic response to the outside
world.
Attitude is something that is internally controlled by
the person. One can never completely control what
is going on around him or her, but he or she can
choose how he or she will react in certain situations.
A positive attitude aids a person who is on the road
to success, because there is not one successful
person who has been described as negative or

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cynical. This positivism is actually a more important

factor to success than the way a person looks or how
much a person has achieved.
Just like integrity, enthusiasm is not something that
one can just switch on or off; rather, it is a way of life. It
is important to learn how to get rid of negativism in
one's life in order to achieve the success one is
striving for.
The good thing is that optimism is something that can
be learned and developed. These people, more
often than not, always see opportunities in whatever
situation, and make the most out of them. This
optimism will give one the strength that one will need
in order to keep on moving toward his or her goals.

Honesty, integrity, and trust are three

characteristics connected with one
another. People of integrity gain
other people's trust.

There are three things that one can do in order to

make the attitude choice:

Consciously choose one's attitude.

Keep one's eyes open to new opportunities.

Be easy on one's self and on everyone else.

Chapter 8: The Adversity Choice

In each successful person's life, being able to
overcome any kind of adversity has been a crucial
turning point. Just like everyone else, these people
experience problems that are, more often than not,
beyond their control. However, regardless of the
situation, what defines successful people is their
ability to go past these adversities, attacking the
problem itself and moving forward.
When a person is faced with an adversity, his or her

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true character comes out. Once a person is faced
with this kind of situation, there are only two choices:
to either become immobilized and stuck in self-pity,
or overcome the adversity and move on with life.
Adversity can either grind a person down or polish
him or her up, depending on how he or she deals
with the circumstance.
According to Chris Novak, the author of Conquering
Adversity, they are six steps to follow in order to
successfully overcome any kind of adversity that a
person may encounter in his or her life:
! Acknowledge what is and what is not lost.
! Pull one's self up and avoid the "why" trap,
moving forward with positive expectations.
! Allow other people to help.
! Keep on moving forward.
! Do not attempt to face adversity alone.
! Celebrate with positive energy, as it will
nourish one's spirit and refresh one's attitude,
giving a person enough strength to overcome
his or her own obstacles.

is important that both people have open

communication lines, are interested in how the other
person feels, know that a relationship is more than
what is in it for them, and that the other person may
bring some negative excess baggage from previous
relationships.
There are five helpful steps in order to cement one's
relationships:
! One's relationships reflect the relationship one
has with his or herself.
! Everyone wants to know that they are cared
about.
! Despite busy schedules, it is important to
always make time to make contact.
! Conflicts will occur so it is important that both
parties are willing to compromise.
! Practice forgiveness when the relationship is
tested.
There are always opportunities wherein new
relationships can be developed. They are key
interactions in one's life and crucial to one's success.

There are three things that one can do in order to

make the adversity choice:
! Realize that adversity is short-term.
! Don't panic, freeze, and stop because the
adversity presented is perceived to be
insurmountable.
! Don't waste energy on looking for someone to
blame.

There are three things that one can do in order to

make the relationship choice:
! Be willing to focus on building positive
relationships.
! Become a mentor for others.
! Don't travel with friends that desert at the first
sign of danger.

Chapter 9: The Relationship Choice

Chapter 10: The Criticism Choice

Relationships, both personal and professional, add

color to a person's life, making it important to not
only build new relationships but to develop existing
ones. However, there is no such thing as a universal
criteria for relationships, as each individual has
different needs and wants.

Just as an individual gains more enemies as he or she

becomes more successful, the same holds true with
criticism. Everyone has critics, because there will
always be someone who will disagree with how a
person looks, talks, or behaves. In order to become a
successful individual, it is important to learn how to
deal with these critics and their criticisms.

Relationships, which are an important requirement

for success, just don't happen.
Healthy
relationships take time and energy from both
individuals, with a similar goal of making their
relationship grow over time.
The most important basis for a healthy relationship
is trust between both individuals. Other than that, it

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There are actually critics and criticisms that can help

an individual advance; but there are those who
obviously just want to pull a person down. Find out
which ones can help and which ones are just wastes
of time.
However, no matter what, do not overreact to

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criticism. Everyone needs criticism, because it is
actually a form of feedback. It can actually be viewed
as a learning tool because it will teach us some of the
more difficult lessons in life. Pay attention to these
criticisms and listen intently in order to really
understand what the person is trying to convey.
Avoid being psychosclerotic, thinking that one's own
idea is the best and the only plan that will work. It is
important to keep one's mind open to other people's
suggestions.
Criticism, whether constructive or otherwise, can
either be a hindrance or a help. But more often than
not, criticism helps a person grow, as long as the
individual welcomes the criticism and refuses to be
negatively affected by such feedback.
There are three things that one can do in order to
make the criticism choice:
! Be aware that criticism comes with success.
! Accept constructive criticism as a gift.
! Acknowledge that criticism is a learning tool.

Chapter 11: The Reality Choice

When individuals are forced to face reality, more
often than not, it is not something that they are willing
to accept. That is why the truth hurts, because reality
is the truth. And it can really sting when people are
not ready to accept things as they really are.
However, discovering and facing reality is an
extremely important factor to one's success. Before
one can determine where he or she wants to go, one
must first and foremost find out where he or she is at
the moment.
Reality also helps one figure out how to get to where
he or she is going as well, identifying a person's own
limits. More often than not, reality means change-whether in a person's plans or a change in direction
or approach.
Coming face to face with reality does not necessarily
mean abandonment of one's dreams. On the
contrary, it helps a person identify the best way to go
about things, helping a person learn more about him
or herself.

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There are three things that one can do in order to

make the reality choice:
! A key element of success is discovering and
facing reality.
! Look for truth in every situation, every
relationship, every crisis, and every success.
! Understand that choosing reality may not
always be the easiest path.

Just as a person has made the choice

to become successful, it is actually
just as important to look successful.

Chapter 12: The Legacy Choice

More than anything, the choice of legacy is a
necessary decision that has to be made in order to
achieve success. If people have not chosen this, then
individuals at present would not have any sort of role
models nor examples. People would then be learning
things on their own, through their own experience,
without anyone else to guide them.
Successful individuals will choose to leave behind a
legacy that will be passed on from generation to
generation; something that will live on even after they
have long been gone. Leaving something behind is
an unselfish act, helping other people achieve their
success in the best way possible, without expecting
anything in return.
There is no such thing as not knowing what to give,
because every individual can help in his or her own
simple way. Time and wisdom are the two things that
one will need in order to leave a legacy.
Giving should always come from the heart, regardless
of what a person is sharing, because this kind of
unselfish act is repaid tremendously without our
asking for it.

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Mentoring other people, especially those that seem to
be in a similar situation as one has experienced
before, will help other people move forward and avoid
certain roadblocks.
Legacies are left by choice, because no one is
required to do so.
There are three things that one can do in order to
make the legacy choice:
! Be willing to share one's knowledge and
mentor those looking for the pathway to success.
! The greatest gift one can give is knowledge and
experiences.
! Begin one's legacy where one is at present.

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