BILLY CROCKER Scene 1 BILL Anybody call for me, Frea? PRED (Reading Fron a pad) Harriet, Nancy, Lorraine=-tvo Lorzaines-~ aruuy How about a Hope? Hope Harcourt. FRED Nope. But there was 2 lay came in asking for you. (RENO SWEENEY enters) RENO weong, Billy, xt was only me. BILLY Reno! 0h, my God! we had a date RENO ‘That's OK. I'd say forget Le, but you already aid. BILLY Reno, I'm sorry. My boss {s going to London in the morning. Thad to do a thousand things for him. Ewo Eig going to London in the morning. A12 you had to do for ne was buy'e a drinks PRED what'll it be, Ma'am? RENO A sartini ~~ only make it with xye and put a cherry in it instead of an clive. (Piano underscore resumes} BILLY ‘Two Manhattans, Fre. RENO You know, I'm getting worried about you, Billy. I'm not sure this Wall Street Job is good for your BILLY Hey, I'm making thirty-five dollare a week! RENO Yeah, but look at you. Look at your coat.aaa BILLY. What's the matter with my coat? RENO It's got a fried egg on the pocket. BILLY ‘That's an old school crest, EW Prom where? P.S. 882 You're in trouble, kid, Tf you keep acting like a Staffed shirt stockbroker, you'te going to eurn piu why do 1 put up with thie, Pred? RENO You're nuts about me. in fact, T've got a great idea. Why don't you cone to London with se? arin Reno-~ RENO Wie'2L do the town up right. Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, the bushes in Hyde Park. BILLY Reno, be serious. RENO Tam serious. Come with me, Billy. England won't be the Sane without you. BILLY Guys like me are a dime a dozen. You won't miss ne over there: (asic: attaccal RENO Why ave the cute ones always so dumb? 2h20 RENO (Continued) NO_KICK FROM CHAMPAGNE, ‘IDEA OF NOTHING TO DO. EGET A KICK OUT OF YOU! BILLY Aw hell, Reno, there's something I've got to tell you RENO Yeah? arby i'm in love, RENO I'm in cabin thirteen. Meet me right after we sail. BILL (smiLing--she must be kidding) Cone on, Reno~-not with you. I'm in love with a girl. Goa, sho's fantastic! She's so fantastic she won't even talk to me! “That's why I can't go to London. I've got to stay here fand-~ RENO Oh, so that's it, eh? All this time you were just giving me thé run-around. pry ‘The ranaround? RENO You had me thinking you wanted to marry me! pry How could you think that? I alwaye treated you with respect. 34u ais RENO Bxactly, Did you ever try to get me drunk?’ No. 1d you ever ask me up to your apartment to look at your evenings? No. We've been inva taxi dozens of times, and did you ever once grope? No. Not one lousy grope. You shouldn't have led me on like that if you didn't mean iti army Reno, I never meant to mislesd you. RENO ‘The hell you didn't! You never even laid a hand on me, and Tim not used to men treating me like that! (RaNO storms ove, BILLY £oTTewe her. The GIRL who has been drinking with the SAILOR stalks downetage) Mone ToARroL, (Tho set begins to change, transforming itself into. 4431 BILLY CROCKER Scene 2 EVELYN, And leave you alone? Wouldn't dream of it. Besides, 1/12 be right as rain as goon as we escape these swells, Hope But the sea’s as flat as a pancake, dear. avELYY Please, Rope, I wish you wouldn't mention food just now. HOPE Sorry. I'11 go get you 2 Brono. (She pats his shoulder and starts off, “BILLY enters and casually passes her) BILLY Hi, Hope, how ya doin'? HOPE Hello, Billy... Billy! BILLY You know, you're beautiful when you've about to faint. ROPE, (theittea) Billy, I didn't know you were sailing! BELLY I didn't, either. HOPE Then what are you doing here? BILLY I'm selling lifeboats. Hope, T stowed away to be with you. I Couldn't let you go. HOPE oh, Bélty... (ney reach out te each other, EVELYN groans) Oh! Billy, this is my fiance, Evelyn Oakleigh. BILLY (Gcabbing svEWW'S hand and pumping furiously) Billy Crocker. Pleased to meet you! EVELIN Forgive me, I'm afraid I rather overdid it in the dining 's22 13-27 Bru Me too! Did you have the sveethreads? Best brains I ever azet (BVELYN blanches) HORE siaty-— arLLy Tive never seen thon served that way before, with jellied eels and headcheese. OPE Billy, stop iti BvELYN Might allt (He dashes off) HOPE Billy, was that fair? BILLY Pair? I find you standing here in the moonlight with him, Bidn't shoot him, T didn't push him overboard, I thought fas more chan fair! HOPE You're being terribly bed, Billy. Why, we hardly know each other. BILLY Hardly know each other? HOPE We met one night at a party. We danced, had a little too much wine, ‘We took @ little spin around the park. prone You call five hours in the back of taxi a Little spinl HOPE Four hours. BILLY Five. Remember, you fell asleep after ve-- Hope 1 remember! r33 ans-28 brn ‘And then I took you to that Little cafe down by the docks. HOPE We had breakfast as the eun cane up. BILLY le talked about going to California, getting a little bungalow, raising orange trees-~ HOPE Raising kids... oh, Billy, that was 2 fantasy. Things Like that just aren't done. panty Yeah, I guess you're right... (tusic starts under dialogue) Me and you--who am I kidding? I “easy 10 Lovet E KNOW TOO WELD THAT I'M JUS? WASTING PRECIOUS TIME IN THINKING SUCH A THING COULD BE ‘HAE YOU COULD EVER CARE POR ME. X!M SURE YOU HATE TO HEAR ‘tuaT T ADORE YOU, DEAR, BOP GRANT ME, JUST THE’ SAME, I'M NOP ENTIRELY 70 BLAME, FOR YOU'D BE SO EASY 70 LOVE, 50 EASY 70 TDOLIZE, ALL OTHERS ABOVE SO SWEET TO WAKEN WITH, 50 NICE 70 SIT Dow 70'EGGs AND BACON WiTH. We"D BE SO GRAND AT THE GAME, SO CAREFREE TOGETHER THAT TT'DOES SEEM A SHAME ‘uAT YOU CAN'T Sze ‘YOUR FUTURE WITH ME, "CAUSE YOU'D BE, OK, SO EASY TO LOVE. (Dance Interiude) YOU'D BE $0 EASY TO LOVE, SO EASY TO IDOLIZE, ALL OTHERS ABOVE, SO WORTH THE YEARNING FOR, 50 SHELL TO KEEP EV'RY HOME FIRE BURNING FOR. (OK, HOW WE"D BLCON, HOW WE'D THRIVE. N'A COPTAGE FOR TWO, OR EVEN THREE, FOUR, OR FIVE, SO TRY 70 SEE YOUR PUTURE WITH ME, ‘CAUSE YOU'D BE, OH, SO EASY 70 LOVE. 3BILLY tm oe CROCKER 2 2 Song 1: Easy to Love — = =BILLY CROCKER Song 2: It’s De-Lovely What swell nigh — this is for o-mance,You caw