Practice Memo

MEMORANDUM
To:

Keath McMillen

From:

Patrick Brownlee

Date:

January 15, 2008

Subject:

Your Performance Review for 2007

Keath, this is documentation of your recent performance review for the last year.
After the 90 days of training provided for you, I want to share whats been observed.
You need to review the summary of your data figures more carefully before sending
them out to staff use in their presentation. Accurate data and figures are vital to
company performance.
The performance you have shown does not equate to the background and skills you
seem to have. Furthermore, I want to provide you with the opportunity to show the
potential I know you have.
For the next 30 days. You must achieve satisfactory performance to stay in your
position. This business values your talents and hopes to retain you for years to
come.
You can always call me if you have any questions at (214)-998-3249.

Analysis
In this rewrite, I just fixed some certain areas of diction. I made the letter much
more professional, instead of targeting him with what exactly he was lacking in
during his performance. I was pretty much doing an overview in general of what he
needed to improve on. I also fixed some spelling and grammatical errors. Finally, I
shortened it up like I said, because I took out a lot of the details because I feel it was
targeting him too much.