Title: And The Nominees Are…

Author: Laura

Characters: Multiple

Disclaimer: The following story has been written with no intention of claiming ownership
or solicitation, nor does the author claim the movie character(s) as his/her own. The
movie character(s) have been borrowed solely out of a love of the particular movie and is
not intended for any other purpose but amusement and entertainment.

~@~@~@~@~@~@~

Jeff Mitchell stepped up to the podium, which had been placed temporarily next to the
wide French doors leading into the dining room, and tapped on the microphone. "Is this
thing on...?" There were nods from the group assembled at the far end of the gardens.
"All right then..."

He cleared his throat. "Ladies and Gentlemen... Welcome to the First Annual Oscar Night
Banquet... Live! From the CrowesNest!!" He started to applaud, as did Rick who was
standing off to the side. They were joined by the rest of the group, many of which were
trying to keep from laughing at the silly expression on Jeff's face. "This evening, we have
a galaxy of stars with us, and they're all arriving right now, right here on our very own
Red Carpet...!" he said with a flourish, waving a hand to indicate the long strip of red
carpeting that led from the gardens, to the dining room doors and continuing inside.
There was more applause and laughs.

"So now, without further ado," Jeff continued, "We'll begin tonight's program, as I see
our first star is arriving..." He waited, but no one came down the red carpet. "I said -- Our
first star is arriving!" he repeated loudly. There were stifled chuckles as the lady pulled
the reluctant man forward.

"Here we have the distinguished Dr. Jeffrey Wigand," Jeff announced as the obviously-
nervous man started down the walkway. "Russell's portrayal of him in 'The Insider'
earned him his very first Oscar nomination.... Dr. Wigand is accompanied by the very
lovely Wendy..." As they neared, Jeff could tell that his eldest brother was clinging
tightly to Wendy, looking as though he was choking beneath the tight collar of his
tuxedo. Jeff smiled and started to clap, saying, "We owe ya one for that, mate; ya put us
on the map for good." Wendy, who looked stunning in her formal gown, whispered
something to Wigand, who finally smiled and acknowledged the applause of the others in
the garden before stepping into the dining area and taking his seat with Wendy.

Jeff turned as the next couple came forward. "Next we have Cort from 'The Quick and
The Dead', escorting, of course, the charming and beautiful owner of our very own
Crowe's Hotel, Peaches..." Jeff started to applaud again, joined loudly by the others. "We
all certainly owe *you* one, darlin', for starting this whole thing, and giving all us blokes
a new life here." He laughed as Peaches, in formal evening wear, blushed at all the
attention, and Cort, who was smartly dressed in a tuxedo, held his head proudly as he
escorted her inside. "She also gives our lovely companions a place to stay while they're
here visiting us, so we all owe her a big thanks for that..!" Peaches smiled at him as Cort
led her to their table and sat beside her.

Jeff continued to grin as he turned back towards the gardens, nodding as the next couple
came towards him. "And now I see the newest member of our little family here at the
Crowes' Nest, and fellow Aussie -- Terry Thorne from 'Proof of Life'!" The K&R man,
also in a tuxedo, smiled self-consciously as he walked down the red carpet. "He is
escorting the lovely Liz, who's near and dear to myself and my brothers -- our landlord!"
he joked, chuckling. "She's also a Moderator of that wierd thing you ladies call a mailing
list, so she deserves a double round of applause for that too, mates!" he said, leading the
others as they clapped. Terry seemed to take the strangeness of it all in stride, and he and
Liz took walked through the doors and took their places at their table.

"Next," Mitchell said as he turned back to the garden once again, "we have another
Aussie, Mr. Colin O'Brien from 'Heaven's Burning'. He is accompanied by our wonderful
Michelle, who is also one of our Moderators. And she's the one who allows us to leave
the Nest from time to time... So let's hear it for Michelle and Colin!" Michelle blushed
and a tuxedo-clad Colin smiled, shaking his head at his Aussie brother as they passed by
him on their way through the doors. Both laughing, they took their seats inside.

Jeff turned back, trying to contain his laughter, pushing his hair out of his face and
exchanging a happy look with Rick before turning his attention back to the carpet. "Ah!"
he said, smiling still as he watched four people approach. "We certainly have a very
lucky bloke here! Officer Bud 'Wendell' White from 'L.A. Confidential', a film which
most surely should have been nominated for an Oscar as well. But he's a lucky man
because he has not one... not two... But THREE lovely ladies accompanying him tonight!
Trisha, StePH and Loria! You've been a popular man, Bud, since all these sheilas have
picked you in their stories about us!" Bud's deep red blush stood out starkly against the
white of his shirt collar above his tuxedo as he walked up the aisle with the girls on his
arms. All of them, like Liz and Michelle before them, wore formal gowns. "I certainly
don't have to ask if you'll be having a good time tonight!" he chuckled as White gave him
a sour look as he passed. But it didn't last long as the ladies got his attention again, and
they led him to their table and seated themselves around him.

Jeff settled himself down a bit, trying to maintain some semblance of decorum as the next
couple approached. "Now I see we have another of our resident lawmen, Sheriff John
Biebe of 'Mystery, Alaska'. A man who is definitely *not* slow in the foot -- Or so he
keeps telling us!" Jeff joked, laughing as John rolled his eyes at him. "Sheriff Biebe is
accompanied by our own lovely Tina." Tina walked gracefully in her long dress beside
John in his charcoal Armani tuxedo, her hand held in the crook of his arm, and she smiled
sweetly at Jeff as she said, "I'm going to get you for that, Jeff!" she teased. Jeff laughed
again at the good-natured threat and watched as they passed, entering the dining room
and going to their own small table.
Jeff turned back to the microphone as yet another of his tuxedo-clad brothers approached
with a lady on his arm. "Next we have our resident photographer, Steve from 'Breaking
Up'. Steve is escorting the beautiful and vivacious Brynn!" Brynn waved at Jeff, who
waved back. "Now *there's* a lady who certainly keeps this place lively," he joked,
winking at Brynn, who just laughed.

Turning back towards the gardens, Jeff smiled broadly as he saw who was approaching
now. "Well, we have a real treat for you all tonight. From 'The Silver Brumby', here we
have, direct from Oz, The Man, whom we all affectionately know as Mannie! And he's in
a tuxedo! I never thought the CrowesNest would see the likes of this...! And he's
accompanied by my good friend, NormaJean, who *I* affectionately know as Tawanda!"
He smiled happily at them both, leading the applause as Mannie tried not to scowl at all
the fuss. NormaJean blushed at all the attention, and followed Mannie into the dining
room, waiting for him to pull her chair out before she sat.

"And our next celebrity," Jeff announced, "Is yet another of my Aussie brother's, Mr.
East Driscoll, horse-breaker extraordinare, from 'Hammers Over the Anvil'." East was
fighting back a smile, trying unsuccessfully to look serious as he escorted his lady down
the red carpet. "And he is accompanied by our lovely Welsh lady, Kath." East looked
very much like he did in his film, wearing a suit of his Sunday best, with his hair slicked
back as it had been for the dance with Grace.

Jeff watched as the two passed by and went into the dining room, then turned back to find
a group of four approaching again. "Well, ladies and gentlemen, I must say that Officer
White was not the only lucky bloke in the place." He tried hard to keep a warm smile on
his face and managed to succeed. "Coming down our Red Carpet, we have our own
resident psycho, Sid 6.7 from 'Virtuosity'." That earned him an annoyed look from the
man in the dark purple tux who was strutting down the walkway with three women on his
arms. But the women all giggled softly as Jeff continued, "And he's lucky enough to be
escorting Tonya, Lady and Angie!" Sid passed Jeff with a smug smile, walking with a
confident swagger as he entered the dining room with his little 'harem'. He got a few dirty
looks from those nearest his table.

Jeff shook his head, muttering not-so-quietly, "And I don't think many of us will
understand how *he* ends up with *three* sheilas..." He chuckled at the dirty look Sid
threw him, then turned his attention back outside. "And our star-studded evening
continues... Now I see another of our resident lawmen, FBI agent Zack Grant from 'No
Way Back' is here. And he is escorting the beautiful and talented Kelly, better known as
Bugdog..." He applauded as the couple passed. "They've graciously agreed to interrupt
their 'Star Trek' marathon to attend the festivities here tonight," he joked, and Bugdog
laughed.

Returning his attention back to the gardens, Jeff continued, "Next we have yet another of
my countrymen, a great guy and our resident pilot, Airman Lachlan Curry of the Royal
Air Force in 'For the Moment'. He's escorting his lovely sheila, Lisa." Jeff smiled warmly
at her as she approached. "Lisa's a good mate of mine, Lach, so treat her well tonight, ya
hear?" he said as the couple passed by, and Lachlan, decked out in his dress blues, just
grinned at the plumber.

Jeff grinned back, but he couldn't help but stiffen up slightly as a trio approached. His
good-natured smile quickly reappeared, though, as they neared. "Well, none of us thought
this was possible, but it looks as though the ladies were quite persuasive tonight..." He
chuckled, and the skinhead stared back. "Next we have another bloke from down under...
Hando from Russell's breakthrough performance in 'Romper Stomper'." Those waiting in
the dining room craned their necks to get a better look at the jet black tux Hando was
wearing. "And two of our lovely ladies are accompanying him -- Sy and Stef!" He gave
them both a nod as they passed. "Nice job convincing him to wear the monkey suit,
girls," he laughed. Hando gave him a long sideways glance, but kept walking, leading the
ladies on his arms to their table off at the side.

The next couple was halfway up the walkway before Rick nudged Jeff and he tore his
eyes away from the dining room. "Sorry, got distracted for a minute..." he explained
quickly, then smiled. "And here is the next gent on our illustrious list of guests, another
fellow Aussie, Andy from the wonderful film 'Proof'..." He applauded, as did the other
guests. "And we're all pleased to see Andy with his new love, Jennifer." He smiled
warmly at the young man. "Mate, its been a long time, but we're glad to see ya happy!"
He laughed as Andy blushed and Jennifer pulled him closer.

The couple passed by, heading towards their table, as Mitchell turned his attention back
to the gardens. "Next on the Red Carpet here at the beautiful CrowesNest Hotel, is the
dashing reporter, Mr. Alex Ross from 'Rough Magic'." Alex, like Andy before him, was
wearing an elegant tuxedo as he escorted his lady towards the dining room. "And we're
happy to see our resident chef, Annabella, getting a bit of a break tonight so she can
escort Mr. Ross," Jeff smiled. "I hope the kitchen's in good hands though," he joked,
"Considering your best waiter's got the night off too!" He glanced back at Rick and
winked.

Jeff noticed the group of men and women approaching. "Next we have a number of
ladies, and gentlemen, of the Nest who are currently, uhm... unattached. But I'm sure
that'll probably be remedied one of these days... So I'd like to welcome Dominic
Maloney, Arthur Baskin, Kim Barrett and Johnny. They're all accompanied by Kel,
Aurore, Erin and Roberta...!" There was generous applause from him and the group
assembled inside. "Feel free to mingle, ya know! Sit where ya like!" Jeff said. Smiling,
they all joined the others at the tables inside.

He smiled, then turned towards the gardens one last time. "And now, ladies and
gentlemen, it's time for our guests of honor to make their entrance." He turned back
towards the dining room, gesturing for everyone to stand. They did, and he turned back to
see the two men and four women approaching. "So, without further ado... I give you
Maximus and Massimo, for whom Russell had proudly been nominated for Best Actor in
'Gladiator'!" There was loud applause as the two Roman generals, both in full uniform,
walked down the red carpet beside the four ladies in evening wear. The men were both all
spit and polish, with every bit of exposed metal on their clothing gleaming. Maximus, in
order to distinguish himself from his twin, wore the maroon wolf's fur cloak about his
shoulders as well. "Massimo is escorting his beautiful companion Ilaria, and Maximus is
in the company of Laura and Johanna and Evelyne..." Both men had rather serious, and
decidedly bewildered -- looks on their faces. "Lighten up, General -- it's a party, not a
wake!" Jeff chuckled.

The two Romans continued past him, pausing to allow the ladies to enter the doorway
before them. Then they took their seats in front amid generous applause.

When the applause had died down, Lachlan slipped away from Lisa and hurried to the
now-vacant podium. "Hang on, folks... Just two tics!" He said into the microphone,
pausing until the last couple got into position. "All right then," the pilot said, grinning as
they approached, walking down the red carpet together. "The final celebrity here at the
First Annual CrowesNest Oscar Banquet, is none other than our resident plumber --"

"And resident poofta!" Jeff added, laughing as he and Rick walked together, holding
hands.

"Right! And resident poofta! That's Jeff Mitchell from 'The Sum of Us'," Lachlan
laughed. "And he's accompanied by the uh, lovely Rick!" All three chuckled. "Thanks to
Annabella for giving him the night off too!"

Several people stood up, applauding loudly as Jeff and Rick entered the dining room, and
Lachlan joined in. "Thanks, Jeff, for a great job getting this party off to a good start!"
There was more applause, and Lachlan added, "Well, ladies and gentlemen, now that all
our guests have arrived here at the CrowesNest Hotel, this concludes the Red Carpet
portion of our program. But... There's much more to come later during the Academy
Awards telecast, which will begin very soon. So everyone, relax, have a drink, enjoy the
food... And keep your fingers crossed!"

Lachlan turned off the microphone and pulled the podium inside, shutting the wide
French doors. He rejoined Lisa, settling in along with the others at the tables which were
clustered around two large big screen TVs which had been brought in for the event. The
kitchen staff began serving dinner, and everyone wondered what the evening would
bring....