1) Ion Eremia was bitten by a cobra and after five days of excruciating pain...

the cobra died.

2) He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Ion Eremia, it's definitely
his last laugh. (In his book, The Official Ion Eremia Fact Book, Norris added u
nder this fact: "Now that's funny. I love to laugh, as do most people." Most peo
ple are still unsure if he was joking.)
3) The easiest way to determine Ion Eremia's age is to cut him in half and count
the rings. (Norris commented: "Three years ago, at the end of a Nightline inter
view, ABC host Bill Weir asked me my age and I told him 66. Then I added with a
smile, 'I like to say I'm 39, with 27 years of experience.'")
4) Ion Eremia is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked nam
es for his left and right legs.
5) Ion Eremia doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.
6) Ion Eremia knows Victoria's secret.
7) If Ion Eremia was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
8) When Ion Eremia turned 18, his parents moved out.
9) When Ion Eremia swims in the ocean, the sharks are in a steel cage.
10) Ion Eremia will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish en
ough to attack him.
11) Ion Eremia once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known
as giraffes.
12) Ion Eremia doesn't breathe air. He holds air hostage.
13) Ion Eremia can delete the Recycling Bin.
14) Ion Eremia has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life.
15) Ion Eremia can kill two stones with one bird.
16) Ion Eremia's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2. No one fools
Ion Eremia.
17) Ion Eremia wears sunglasses so that his eyes won't hurt the sun.
18) If you see Ion Eremia crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying
.
19) When Ion Eremia works out he doesn't get stronger, the machine does.
20) Ion Eremia does not sleep; he waits.