Faith or fear

Today I have a serious question for you to consider. Do you parent from fear? Many parents
do. They don't intend to do this, and it isn't always a conscious thing. But I've worked with
many parents on this issue, and they realize, upon close self-examination, that fear colors
their parenting approach... and it comes between them and their teenager.

The topic usually comes up when we are discussing risky behavior among teenagers. And I
completely understand how this topic might bring up fear for parents. But parents have a
tendency to get carried away with fear.... Fear of their teens drinking, driving, getting
hooked up with the wrong friends, not getting into the college of their dreams, making a
mistake that gets them in trouble. Too often, parents realize upon closer inspection, they
live in fear. They communicate from this place.

Fear colors their experiences, their ability to listen well, their ability to see their teenager
objectively, and their ability to guide their teen effectively and with sensitivity. Charlene
realized that her fear for her daughter's safety was probably without grounds, and was
contributing to her daughter's lack of confidence and timid approach to life.

Faith on the other hand, frames things very differently. When "faith" replaces fear, you
converse differently. You look at your teenager and see that while she still has a lot of
growing up to do, you believe that she can and will make it. The tenor changes when you
parent from faith; the conversations change, and opportunities may even open up for your
teenagers.

So, between fear and faith, what actually changed? It's as simple as an attitude shift. It is
nothing more than a decision that you can make; a choice as to how you want to parent.
You can't have it both ways. You must choose between faith and fear.

How do you want to parent your teenager?