Keeley Erin Huff

English 111
Personal Narrative

The definition of success is subjective - even a bit too ambiguous for my taste.
Success can be anything from accomplishments, affluence, productiveness, how many
children you bear, prestige, or your quality of life, just to name a few. And, time does not
yield any definite answers to abate the misery of ruminating this topic; if anything, it
exacerbates it. Sitting alone at a desk, pondering where we will stand in a few days, a
year, or even a decade only corrodes the dejected hearts that struggle to beat to society's
quota. Though, in retrospect, time is not so unwholesome if you look at the past. For me,
when I sit at my lonely desk pondering where I will stand in a decade, I have to peek over
my shoulder at what Father Time allowed me to be so many years ago; a carefree child
who believed that the only means of success, wealth, and productiveness was happiness.
As a child, I had one fundamental understanding that I often forget as a now jaded,
cynical eighteen-year-old; success cannot be erected without happiness as its foundation.
My happiness is what will determine my success in the long run, and it will be the
foundation upon which I construct my goals, how I achieve them, and why.
When I was younger, I had believed that I could be anything I wanted specifically, a paleontologist or a chef or both. I believed that the whole world could sit in
the cozy confines of my tiny cupped hands and that I could change it with a simple smile
and everything would be all right. I had seen many indecent affairs and tragic happenings
throughout my childhood, and I had always told myself that I had to be happy. I had to

wear my most brilliant smile and ensure that my passersby would go home smiling as
well. When I knew that people were happy, I myself became untroubled. Whenever I was
able to get my dysfunctional family to sit together for a holiday meal, my presents would
become meaningless. Knowing that I had made a difference in something meant that I
was successful. I had made a difference through happiness, by way of a modest underappreciated smile, and it meant everything to me.
Over the course of my educational career, I had forgotten how to smile at
strangers. This core modification had been implemented by an unsteady state of being
after reaching sixth grade. At that time, things had taken a turn for the worst and I no
longer cared for the things that comprised my world; as I was too busy wallowing in my
own personal nightmare. My grades plummeted, I was miserable, and the thought of even
looking at another human being made me uncomfortable. And consequently, I became
what could be seen as a failure. I quit drawing, writing, reading, smiling, everything
except eating, sleeping, and showering. Looking back at how I was during that time
brings me shame, and I know very well that I was ashamed of myself while going
through middle school. Every time I hid a report card, I knew that I had failed myself and
my family. I was unsuccessful; not because I had lost control over my grades but because
I had lost control over my happiness.
Not too long ago I had been contemplating where people stand in this world, how
they are construed by society as well as their level of happiness in relation to their
statuses. Whilst doing so, I looked within myself and compared my condition to those of
others. My conclusion was simple enough, though indisputably sad. Society defines
success with tangible forms of currency and status. It tells us that we must be affluent

with at least three sports cars, a mansion, and a debut by some means of media in order to
obtain success. Obtain. Even success itself has to be held and proven to the masses. It is
sickening how society views this matter, and ironically most - though not all - successful
members of society are hiding crestfallen expressions behind their pearly white masks
and opulence. Pessimistically speaking, this definition is merely a ploy to get people to
buy into the stock market and goes against what success should be seen as. However, I
am certain that those who take the time to realize what has just been said will make the
same verdict I did.
Success should not be quantitative or measured by items. If success is only a
matter of how much you own or will own then will any of us truly be successful? Given
some thought, you would see that the answer is, more likely than not, no. Most of us will
not be sitting under the pampered palms of today's entrepreneurs while being fed
thousands of dollars a day. In fact, the majority of us will have to dedicate our lives to
produce the fruits that will either be consumed or wasted by those prestigious few. And,
based on what I have heard, there will be many of us who will be holding occupations
that pay very little but reap profound rewards. In my case, to elaborate on what I just said,
I plan on becoming a teacher, an art and writing teacher to be exact. Most of the money I
will be making will be spent on buying the essential products for my classrooms as well
as my household expenses. The money I take home for myself will be little to none unless
I take up another job, which is why I will never be a millionaire. However, I will be
influencing and bettering the generations after me. I will be helping my students the way
so few of my teachers helped me, and all I have to do to reach that point is obtain a
certificate in my early twenties and move on to master in my chosen fields.

It was evident in middle school and for some time in high school that I had
become mentally unwell and had lost the quintessential part of who I am today. During
my sophomore year, I had an art and photography teacher of whom reintroduced me to,
well, art. It took me a while to reacclimate myself, but I managed to fish my old talent out
of its cave and began developing my own style. This style was a bit inappropriate in the
eyes of the school, but the teacher I had continued to encourage me - and she still does so
to this day. But the reason why she is important in my elaboration is because she got me
to a point where I was content enough to begin building my confidence. The confidence
that I built allowed me to begin speaking to strangers and sculpting a new sense of self. I
had become aware of other people and their happiness again; what I believed as a child
resurfaced. And after undergoing yet another change, I realized four simple things:
Success is not a product of materialism and, therefore, cannot be measured by things,
happiness is the universal key for the series of doors that we will all be required to open
as well as the foundation for our success in life, never oppose the values you had as a
child, and, lastly, time is only valuable when measuring the past.
It may seem like I had bypassed the question entirely, but I can assure you that
this is not so. For me, I cannot simply put into words where I will be in ten years because
I understand the logic that has to go into contemplating the matter. Yes, I would love to be
in the field that I am currently pursuing but who is to say that time will not change my
course? Time is cruel in the way it waits for no one. As well, my definition of success
may concur with the majority's opinion but does not relate to the way society views it, so
I have no way of saying whether I will be truly successful or not. There are too many
unstable variables to account for when looking at where I will be in the future or whether

I am successful or not. I cannot say with certainty what year it will be or how I will arrive
at my destination, but I do know that it does not matter where I end up as long as I am
happy and continue to make other people smile.