Cristian Miramontes

Professor Altman
English 113A
Progression 1: Exercise 2

To: Paul Campos

Subject: Helpful writing tips that will convince your audience
Hello Mr. Campos,
My name is Cristian Miramontes and I am currently a freshman attending California
State University Northridge. In my English 113A course we are discussing the topic of obesity
and we were assigned to read your article, Being Fat is OK. I was impressed on how you used
logical reasoning in your article to refute the lies that we were being told about obesity.
However, it would have made your article a bit more credible if you stated where you got the
lies from or at least stated were you based the lie on. That wouldve gave the reader an idea
of where and from whom the lies were being told from. For example, your article states that,
we know fat people are much more likely to be poor than thin people. Making a claim like that
without stating where you are basing it off from is bound to state controversy and have some
readers question your credibility and your logic.
Another thing that you couldve done to make your article more convincing was using some
scientific facts to disprove the lies. Scientific facts will allow the reader to understand why you
are making your argument of being fat is not being unhealthy. One way you can refute the lie of,
fat people can choose to be thinner is by stating a statistic of how many people chose to lose
weight because they were overweight and also state how people would like to lose weight
because of the benefits that it will grant your health. Providing facts that refute the lies in your

article will make the reader feel more confident in trusting your article and will make you look
like more of a reliable author to your audience.
A third way you can go about to disprove the lies is by being realistic. When you said, the
failure rate for diets is estimated to be between 90 percent and 98 perfect. You could have stated
the multiple reasons why a person can fail their diets. Not only that but you could have been for
factual on the information that you provided instead of using assumed percentages. Being
realistic and factual will provide the reader with the sense of trust in your work and your
information.
Using these methods or advice that I mentioned will greatly increase the amount of readers that
trust your work and will also make you a more credible writer to other publishers and your
audience.

Sincerely,
Cristian Miramontes
cristian.miramontes.285@my.csun.edu