For the most part, this particular pin is pretty well written.

I think the structure and transitions

work well together. The biggest issue I see is the length of the pin. You include a lot of
examples of how soccer has helped develop your critical reading. I think that you may want to
either shorten some of the examples or remove one or two of them altogether to really reduce
the length of the piece and not seem like a run on. The number of examples also affects the
overall togetherness of the writing and makes it seem more like a list than a paper with a
direction.