ideals and meanings we were brought up with and truly Curtain is hidden in the feeling Eve- Tina and T have as we walk down Fifth Avenue, knossing we belived in, The Ti are here and, atthe same time, are not here because this reality has another meaning for us. In the mide of New York we are enclosed by a different realty principle. It's ood to come here and see; fora prisoner, i is worth i for th of traveling tel But it becomes clear that the in life and values ~ and that is what people in Fastern Europe expect to happen ~ is impossible. The ‘iron curtains’ will time: in our memories, in our lives that we cannot renounce, no matter how dificult they were and how hard we try A Letter from the United States — The Critical Theory Approach Dees single paced letter written on a computer. (By the way, 1 don't remember receiving a handwritten letter from the United States in the last couple of years.) Tom wring abou she fntestew Idi with you tx New York, in Ape the Socialis Scholes’ Conference (in @ luncheon’ neor Gloria si ne'separtaen, if your remember) T remember ~ indeed I do, We were sitting on red plastic chairs, leaning over plastic table, holding plastic cups with insipid American coffee, and B asked me about the position, fof women in Eastern Europe after the ‘velvet revolution. I ako remember a kind of geographical msp appearing in my mind: Poland, Caechoslovakia, Fast Germany, Hungary, Balgaria, Romania, Yugoslavia too — we are, talking about perhaps 70 milion women there, living in different regions and cultures, speaking different languages, yet all reduced, to a common denominator, the system they were. living ‘onder. Bs1 was after I spoke at the plenary session at that con ference that B approached me. The big midtown audi= torium at CUNY was almost filled. I was to give a paper on the same subject: women in Eastern Europe, But before I started my speech, I took out one sanitary napkin and one ‘Tampax and, holding them high in the air, {showed them to the audience. ‘I have just come from Bulgaria,’ f said, ‘and believe me, women there don’t have either napkins or ‘Tampixes ~ they never had them, in fact. Nor do women in Poland, or Czechoslovakia, much less i. the Soviet Union fr Romania. This I hold as one of the proofs of why com= yunism failed, because in the seventy years of its existence ‘couldn't fulfil the basic needs of half the population.” ‘The audience were started at frst; choy hadn't expected this, not at a scholarly conference where one could expect theories, analyses, conclusions ~ words, words, words, Then people sarted applauding. For me, the sight of a sanitary napkin and a Tampax was a necessary precondition for understanding what we are talking about: not the generally kknoven fact that women wait in long lines for food or that they don't have washing machines one conld read about this in Time oF Nevsweat — but that besides all the hardship of living in Eastern Europe, if they can't find gawe or absorbent cotton, they have to wash bloody cloth pads every month, again and again, as their mothers and grandmothers and great-grandmothers did hundreds of years ago. For them, communism has changed nothing in that respect. But I wasn't sure that my audience grasped thie fact, afterall: ist, because they were mostly men and, by some caprice of Mother Nature, men usually don’t have to wash 124 bloody cloth pads every month; second, because they were leftists. I know them, the American men (and! women) of the left. Talking to them ahways makes me fel like the worst kind of dissident, a right-wing freak (ora Republican, at best), even if consider myself an honest social democrat, For every mild criticism of life in the system I have been living under for the last forty years they look at me susp lousy, as if 1 were a CIA agent (while my folks, com- ‘munists back home, never hal any doubts about it ~ per- haps this is the key diference between Eastem and ‘Western comrades?) But one ean hardly blame them. Ie is not the knowledge about communism that they lack ~ J arn quite sure they know all about it - it’s the experience of living under such conditions. So, while I am speaking from ‘sith’ the system itself they are explining it to me from without. Ido not want to claim that you have to be a hen to lay an egg, only that a certain disagreement between, ‘these two starting positions is normal, But they don’t go for thats they need to be right. They see reality in schemes, in broad historical outlines, the same as their brothers in the Fast do, I love to hear their great speeches or read their Jong analyses ater brief visits to our poor countries, where they mect with the best minds the establishment can offer (probably speaking English!) 1 love the way they get sure prised or angry when the food i too greasy, there is no bot water in their hotel, they can’t buy Alka Sclizer or aspirin, ‘or their plane is late. But bet of all love the innocence of their questions. Sitting in that Iuacheonette on Seventy- fifth Street with B, [resented the questions she asked me, the way she asked them, as if she didn’t understand that 125‘menstrual pads and Tampax are both a metaphor for the system and the realty of women living in Eastern Europe. Or a8 if she herself were not 2 woman — slim, tll, smart- looking and, surprisingly, dressed with style, Feeling the slick plastic cup in my hand, it came to my mind that her {questions ar like that ~ cold, artifical, slippery, not touche ing my reality. “Tom sory 1 have rafen so lng to get in touch with you. Iwas in Berlin for 0 while cis summer,” the leter continued. ‘Ion ing Bigger projet now on women and Ease Europe ~ ang 16 pt together an anthology en his tpl. There already o publaer ‘sho as expr icra. 1 hope wil be more than a design of evens, but some kindof analy abou woten and decry he ube sphere, cl soc, modenzaion, ete. A Kad of Cetical Thsory approach 1 picked up this letter ffom my mailbox on my way to the office (together with an American Express bil, which f didn’t want to open right away because 1 knew it would ‘upset me). ‘She spent several weeks in Berlin” 1 thought, reading it in the streetcar, ‘and here she is, making an anthology” How easy, how incredibly easy it is for her; she ven his an editor, Women in Eastern Europe hanly existed asa topic, especially for lets. And nov, what is wanted is no Jes than a Critical Theory approach! I admit this letter upset me much more than the American Express bill would have. Following her instructions, Lam to verite ‘ome orl speyaly on women t2 Yugesaia, dealing with the Linds of imervenions women bave made fn the public dicoure, 9, ‘bout abortion, women's contol over women's Bis, what sor of| infleace women hore had in the publ découse on these top, 6 A uerher ROM THe UND STATES and wor sor of inflvnce the nonfomine medio hare had on Reading allthis, I couldn't help laughing out loud, A few people turned their heads in surprise, but I didn't stop laughing. Women’s in luence in the public discourse? For God's sake, what does she mean? There is hardly any public discourse, execpt the one about politica. Women don't have any influence, they barely even have a voice. All media ae non-feminist, there are no feminist media. All that we ‘could talk about is the absnce of influence, of voice, of Adcbate, of a feminist movement. ‘Do che women Jn Yugoslavia argue fr an ‘senile, har woman ore diferent from men, oF fs ica mater of choice? 1 readin her letter, with utter amaze ment, With each of her words, the United States receded. further and further almost dissppearing from my horizan.. Argue what? Argue where? Somehow; in spite of her good intentions, { felt wrapped by this letter, the views she ex- ‘rested in it, like & white mouse in an experimental Ib- ‘oratry, Sitting in her office atthe university, with a shee full of books on Marxism feminism, or Critical Theory ‘within reach, B asks me about discussion on ‘sendin’ in Yagarois, Lean imagine her, in her worn-out jeans and fashionable T-shirt, with her trimmed black hair, looking younger than she is (aerobics, macrobiotic), sitting at her ‘computer and typing this letter, these very words that — ‘when T read them in a streetcar in Zageeb ten days later — sound so absutd that (laugh even more, a8 I were reading some very good news. ‘Ne, der B, we dont diss ths mace,” Twill answer in my letter. ‘ee met @ mover of chaice, ie simply not ¢ mater at al se? And I connor ancer your queens, ire}HOW WE SURITAD CONANISM AND HEN LAIGED Deco they are all wg,” But if she doesn’t understand us, who will? What is the way to shower what our life ~ the life of women and feminists — Jooks like? Maybe instead of answers, I could olfer her something else. Suppose that my mind is an album of myriads of pictures, photos, images, paintings, snapshots) collages. And suppose T could show her some of| them It i the autumn of 1978 and eight of us are siting in Rada's room on Vietims of Fascism Square in Zagreb, Its a Tide chilly because a balcony door is open, but it has to be that vay. Rada hates smoking and yet we all smoke in the excitement = even Rada herself. This is because we have just come back from Beograd, from the frst international feminist conference, ‘Comrade Woman,’ where we met the wellknown Western Enropean feminists Alice Schwarzer, Christine Delphy, and Dacia Maraini for the frst time. We thought they were to radical when they tld us that they were harassed by men on our streets. We don't even notice it, we sid. Or when they talked about wearing high-heeled shoes asa sign of women's subordination. We didn’t se it quite like that; we wore such shoes and even loved them, 1 remember how we gossiped about thelr greasy hair, no bra, no make-up. But all that didn’t stop us from deciding to form our own group, the fist feminist group in Yugoslavia We didn’t know how to organize it even seemed impos sible, First we talked. Then we published some articles — nothing big, of course. Ina matter of days we were attacked by the official women’s organization, Women’s Conference, by politicians, university profestors, famous columnists — 128 fa poring orcs es Ee lay tae feta wk ey shar tee, ds coy of sete, Some of ected Arcnig en: Se ot rsd ed ee tage Ble Aman roe nto my Een par sre omelet he cd wdessed ay «wer re er wary tou to a enna, Woe Sei cel of being CAA man ward to ong ga ne me ony or SDN Ne on ae ote and ere Ser eae Nee Ning acing our ct Sa ag ies one poe the Deo se oe ay 3 hundred, ‘pol me (© another similar replica of Rada’s, even if this dor’: apartment, with original ‘Ming vases all around, Tt was in a the outskirts of town, but the atme nine young women and their expecta they joined the group. One ~ a teache children — answers jokingly: ‘Because my interrupts when I talk, 1U3 hard to recognize shen you live with i” They don’t know yet, but they do know that feminism is about grejudices, about woman's self. Three of them had already prgicipated in organizing the first demonstration agunst the aQj-abor- yas not in an ambassa- Re 192,tion law proposed in the Polish Parliament in May 1989 ‘One came for the first time this very evening, When you think about feminism in Poland, you can count the women fon your fingers: Ana, Malgoraata, Stanka, Barbara, Renata, people in this room. ‘You might laugh at us, but we ae the Polish Feminist Union,’ says Jola ‘I's hard, Women don't take the initiative here; they wait for somebody to sole their problems ~ that’s very typieal for Pt That evening, in her apartment, stil in, Warsaw, Ana takes down a book from her shelf ~ a rather thick, ordinary paperback. I looks old, because t's worn out and somehow shabby. But it's not ordinary. 1 can tell by the way she handles itso carefully, lke something unique, ‘This is the book I told you about,’ she says, holding out the Anthology of a collection of early American feminist seas, “the only ferinist book translated into the Polish langu the only such book to turn to when you ate sick and red of reading about man-eater/man-kiler feminists from the West, I think, looking a ity imagining how many women hhave read this one copy. ‘Sometimes I feel like 1 ive on Jupiter, among Jupiterians, and then one day, quite by chance, [discover that I belong to another species, And 1 discover it in this book, Isn't that wonderful? She reminds me of Klara, In Klra’s bedroom in Buda- pest there isa small shelf with about twenty such books She has collected more because she is an English translator, and she trives to London from time to time, ‘I ead these books when I'm tired and depressed from my everyday life from the struggle to survive nd keep my head above water in spite of everything. Then 1 wt close the door ~ leaving 30 ray job, two kids the high prices, outside, no men ~ and real Kate Millett, Betty Fricdan, Susan Brownmlle, 13 Tike reading science fiction, an escape from reality. Is 50 TNR ier eh oct ait She hin quit ool and con nh she ten se : ‘ sand self-assured at all. We talk. Her husband a no sat hoe, inking oti 2 journalist’ and pretending\ : women in Hung. ‘'m hicky’ she sys. “I didn't have to be is not interested in a discussion about her what she thinks of feminism, she stand what these women want,’ she jy at her husband. At this point, he Ke. “You want to know who, in my ‘opinion, was the fist fedQist he asks me, 2 if his argu : sme forever agaist from vorka and barely con- ye was — Sappho from Les ously playing with her iment is so strong that i feminism, his face already 1 ccaled anger, tell you who bos?” 1 ace Brasher blushing, iss. But she doesn’ utter a Tn a dark, smoky writer's cubQo Sofia, Kristina sits opposite me. She looks dsappointedfer words are bitter ie sent out some yz women if they aria. Everyone Sshether they vs she tells me about a questionnain time ago,“ wrote 2 hundred letters, a think we need a feminist organization in answered, yes, we do. But I also asked the were prepared to jain such an organization, Cn fonly ten out of a hundred women answered positively.” T tall her about the eight of us in Zagreb, about Jola and her group in Warsaw, about Enikd and Ber group of thirty imagine, BI"HOW WE SURUIVED COMMUNISM AND AVES LAUGHED seven n angel ~ the Gist feminist. group Hungary “hoy were sre atthe bing. "Ten women ou f uted? I, ‘But I thnk jou doing pedi” You nk wi ey cherog ap © HE The fe agar "Der ri ny eter oth Unite Site, we nem po oe tps yn on al eae is gt Fre ty el Bs oy of le Dagik of Ener wpe Penn mom ee pg sues «age tir mos one Rent igre ce mie of al i aca saa rnin ar doin a Fp rin on ago lp gn rh 7, tngarns an, as, Sia Me wpe AL ets pton ov Pe to hee ais ois Hany oan te et Se tt en” rl fens th thy elena on ena cp And we ay de eer Sepa A Ca Tiny pith hy cece pr eg aoa rey 4 Some Doubts about Fur Coats ether winter or summer, street 14 never comes “They say it 6 because it was produced in Caechos- lovaki, PRAMS, OBOROVY POON, it says on a small metal plate inside. You know, a communist product — what can you expect from it Our experience tells us that it can’t stand either too much rain oF too much sunshine; it runs only on mice days when the temperature ie between 17 and 22 degrees Celsius and you are notin a hurry But because i was December ~ the middle of winter ~ just before Christmas, drizzling, and incidentally 1 was in a hurry, number 14 was naturally nowhere in sight. Instead, in my sight was a lady, a lady ina splendid long far coat ~ a silver fox, a woll, a bear, or some other poor animal, Because of that coat, [ couldn't miss her, even if L wanted to, There was a time when I'd wanted such a thing myself, Years ago, [fell nto the tap of buying a fur cose. Ie was winter and a cold wind was blowing from the harbor as { spotted it walking through the Church Street flea market in 13 toy