Ruiz1

Karen Ruiz
Professor Batty
English113A
December 8, 2015
Reflection
There were some changes I did to improve my essay a little bit. To begin with I added a
few more sentences including a phrase my grandfather used to tell me. I included this in my fifth
paragraph, where I am looking at him in the bed full of tubes, but lifeless. The new contribution
to the paragraph is I realized I could now feel the meaning to my grandfathers words. You
are going to lose people in your life and you are going to comprehend that no matter how much
time you spent with them, it will never seem like it was enough. I felt as if the time on the
clock had rushed through many years.
I also added a few more sentences in paragraph 2. In this paragraph I am talking about
how my grandfather didnt like my music and I didnt like his. The sentences added were he
would say that my music drove him crazy. That he felt as if he were about to walk in a room
full of newborns. His music would make the trip longer and boring for me.
Lastly I fixed a couple of misspelled words and some comma splices I had in there. I also
added and took out some commas and reformatted the paper.