Matthew Bomkamp

Ms. Ingram
Final Portfolio Essay
December 10th, 2015

Being able to compose a paper that accurately reflects the thoughts and ideas one
has is a vital skill to have both in college and in the professional realm. Everyone, no
matter the major or profession, will have to write a paper that is meant to establish either
an argument or to inform. Having this skill and building upon it will allow for one to
better express their ideas to their intended audience. This is why I have really strived to
improve my writing throughout this semester. I always have believed that I was a good
writer, with lots of ideas, but I would have trouble thoroughly expressing the ideas in an
organized fashion. Many of papers in high school would stray off topic and be to wide
reaching in content. Starting this class, these were the problems I wanted to fix, and
thankfully, I have seen improvement throughout this semester. My papers have become
more streamlined and to the point. My composing process, one of the key concepts for
the course, has also greatly improved. Instead of sitting down and just writing what
comes out, I go through a planning process that includes many more drafts and outlines.
Looking back at my prior drafts, I can clearly see my improvement.
I organized my portfolio in a way to show the improvement of my work and
writing processes throughout the semester. I wanted to show the improvement in my
work by putting the pages in chronological order. The first page after the home page is
the Passion essays with each its two drafts. This was the first attempt of writing an

essay this semester and I think the improvement throughout the drafts, with peer review
and workshop, was rather significant. Also on this page is a notebook artifact that shows
a workshop we did to improve the imagery of memories put in our paper. Everything on
this page is placed in chronological order to show the writing process. The next page is
the Ten Key Concepts. This paper was a self-review that shows what I thought I needed
to work on in the middle of the semester. This page also contains the feedback from the
midterm I received. The next page is the 3-column notes that contained all my sources
that I needed for the Traditional Essay. By putting it here, you can see the research that
was done before hand in preparation of writing the essay. The next page is the Research
Essay itself. This is where you can see the sources from the 3- column notes put into
action. Also, all of the drafts are included on this page, the first draft being on the top,
with the successive drafts below it. The penultimate page contains wildcard artifacts that
assisted to my learning in the duration of this semester. Last, but definitely not least, is
my blog throughout the class.
The first writing assignment given in this class was an unrestricted prompt to
write about our passion in life. My first draft (Process Work Artifact) was written using
the writing style that I wished to change. I sat down at my computer and wrote what came
to mind. It was not very well planned out, and I think it showed. The opening paragraph
featured the memory of my first foot race in the 2nd grade. This was a huge moment for
me because it was when I realized my love for running. The mere three sentences I
devoted to this huge memory did not give this pivotal moment the justice it deserved. But
after the first draft, in writing workshop, we went over how to expand upon a memory
with descriptive detail. We were taught how to help the reader better visualize the

memory. This can be seen in my notebook artifact on the Passion Essay page. I wrote
down the visuals of the moment, as well as the other senses. I also wrote down my
feelings during the memory. This short planning session allowed for me to describe my
memory so much better in the resulting second draft. By describing the day as a cool
and sunny day and it being perfect for being outside, I allow the reader to better
visualize the moment. This is just one example of how my composing process has
improved.
Another key concept that I have improved on this semester is getting out of my
comfort zone. I have usually shied away from writing reflective pieces about personal
things, such as my passions. In addition, many of the blog posts asked for self-reflection,
such as in blog post number 4 and 7. This critical reflection was something I was not
used to. In high school, I would write a paper and expect the only feedback to be given
from the teacher. But the longer, more planned out writing process in this class, built on
both peer and self-review, was something I was not accustomed to. That being said, I feel
that it has been extremely beneficial in improving the quality of my writing, not only in
this course, but also in others. In order to grow as a writer, I believe one must try
something new and the self-reflecting aspect of this class demanded me to strive towards
continually improving upon my writing.
The examples of this can be seen in basically every draft I have written during the
duration of this semester. My second draft of My Lifes Passion almost has as much
writing from it during the revision and review period as the actual essay has in it; and
because of it, I have a vastly improved upon the draft in the final copy. The feedback I

received by both peers and Ms. Ingram (Feedback Article) on the back of the draft made
me consider the addition of things that I had not considered or missed.
One of the big changes that was made from the second draft was the addition of a
paragraph taking the reader through my normal routine and run during summer training.
The feedback I received from the second draft suggested that I do so to add some
sensory detail and take the reader on a run. After rereading my essay, I agreed and
added in the second paragraph of the final product. By showing the behind the scenes
of my training everyday, I think it adds to the reality of all my feelings towards running.
For many people, running is not an enjoyable activity and by showing that I also
occasionally struggle with getting myself to do it; it is more relatable to the average
person. Whether it is the small things, like spelling 800m as 800 meters, or the big
things, the end product of all the peer review and feedback is a more coherently puttogether essay.
Learning to properly review my peers writings was another way in which I got
outside of my comfort zone this semester. I have always been hesitant to question
someone elses writing decisions. I never wanted to offend. Learning to do this properly
in a way that did not offend was vital during the peer workshop sessions. My Peer
Review Notes (writing notebook artifact) displays how to do just that. Notes instructing
to talk it out, get specific, and to comment in the margins were all things that I
made sure do when I was reviewing a peers writing. In addition, when my work was
edited and reviewed in the same manner, I was able to make the most effective changes.
The midterm assignment was a reflection piece that required me to reflect upon
the ten key concepts (Midterm) and write about the ones I have a firm grasp on and the

ones I need to improve upon. This was another great critical reflection exercise that
required me to look back at the work I had already completed and look forward to the
prospect of improving my writing skills. I wrote that I had a firm grasp on independent
inquiry and responsibility for my own learning. I believe that in the work I had completed
before this point showed I had a firm grasp on these two concepts. The Passion Essay
allowed me to write about something that I loved so it was easy to want to inquire more
about this topic. I also made sure to be on top of all my work throughout the first half of
the semester. The concept I felt I did not have a firm grasp on, but was improving with,
was the composing process. This is something that I have addressed above in this essay
because it has been a big focus point for me in this class. By looking at my work of the
latter half of the semester, I am confident that the process in which I write papers has
greatly improved. The feedback I received from the midterm (feedback artifact) was a
boost in confidence in my writing, but also helpful as it called for the increased use of
quotes. This was something I kept in mind going into some of the assignments for the rest
of the semester.
When I started the research for my exploratory essay, I had a topic in mind; to
discuss the role of Super PACs in the American political system. This was a topic that has
come to the forefront with some of the candidates that are running for President and I
wanted to research the topic to come to an opinion of my own. The three column notes
were vital to me accurately organizing the research that I would base my argument off of.
During the actual writing process, I could quickly find and refer to the source because it
includes an annotation and my thoughts and comments on that specific source. For
example, when I quoted a comment Dr. Richard Briffault, I could easily find not only the

bibliography for the quote, but also my annotation and thoughts that I could incorporate
into my final essay. The research and organization done in the 3-coloumn notes allowed
me to know the direction that I wanted my paper to go before I had even written it and
my argument was much more sound because of it.
My second draft for the Traditional Research Essay (Process Work Artifact) was
a lot different paper than what ended up being the final draft. My writing was very blunt
and two one-sided. In the first paragraph I denounced Super PACs as shady and
secretive monstrosities. Although I already had a strong opinion on the matter of Super
PACs, I feel that my strong, forceful language did not leave it up to the reader to make an
informed decision on the matter themselves, which was the ultimate goal of the paper.
This draft almost felt like a political speech meant to get people riled up. It was also too
wide sweeping in the causes for this problem. On the fourth page alone I blame the media
for not accurately reporting on real problems, comment on the nature of man, and state
the intentions of our founding fathers. For the average person, this would have been an
overwhelming paper to read, and I realized this.
The third draft of my traditional research essay (process works artifact) was a
dramatic improvement over the second. I streamlined the paper to make it easier to
understand and took out some of the aggressive language that I referred to in the previous
paragraph. I also took out parts of the paper that seemed when I seemed to ramble and get
off topic. The section on the media and the role of government was erased. I also believe
I made the call to action clearer the third draft. Instead of speaking on the role of the
media in this problem, I put the responsibility on the people to be informed about this
issue. On page 4, I state, the process of rectifying this problem must be done through the

people. My audience was those who were unaware of this problem. I wanted to people
to be educated about this problem so that we as a people can decide on this issue in a
democratic manner. I think the third draft definitely portrayed this mission better.
My Final draft was a culmination of a long composing and research process done
for the paper. It was not that different from my third draft because I knew I had put in the
work and was really close to having the essay done. There were some grammatical
corrections made in the final draft. I also added in a real world example of how much
money the NRA (National Rifle Association) spends on their own independent Super
PAC. By adding this in, a sense if reality was added into the essay that could be relatable
to people who have never heard of Super PACs.
The first of the two wildcard artifacts I included was the Genre Analysis
Questions. This assignment required us to look further into a business card and examine
the rhetorical choices that were made. This assignment was unlike anything I have ever
done. After this assignment, I have looked closer into rhetorical choices that were made
for any piece of writing. Anything from an advertisement to a road sign can be examined
to see what rhetorical choices were made.
My second wildcard artifact was a set of focus questions that were given to us
during a writing workshop. These questions helped to keep me on track throughout the
writing process. I always knew what to look for in my own essay, as well as others. This
is just another piece, of many, that has assisted me overall in improving my writing
process.
I believe that I have done A quality work for this final e-portfolio. I made the
layout of the website easily navigable and organized. I also think all the artifacts I have

chosen have clearly show the improvement of my writing process. I have explained my
improvement by showing examples in my final drafts. I am thoroughly satisfied with the
work I have put into this final assignment.