Nichole Cordero

Professor Gifford
Eng 50 T/Th
10 December 2015
Blurb #2
The focus of this essay was for me to try and explain what the advertisement was
promoting to us consumers and how well did I think they did. This shown me ways that
advertisers try to catch the consumers attention. As I edited my paper to make it stronger I had
seen where I was at fault in not being more descriptive for my reader, so I input a clearer
meaning of my points. Professor Gifford had suggested that I insert transitioning words in my
essay to connect each paragraph to one another, which I see now that it makes the essay have a
flow to it. The second part of my essay was weaker and I spent the time on describing my ad to
help the reader understand my points. On my conclusion I had focused on clearing up the last
sentence to develop it into a complete sentence. Also combined a sentence to make more sense
than it was before.