Samone Vail

March 9, 2015
Revision Memo
Publishing Inside Out
Organization Skill
Receiving feedback from my peers was beneficial. I did not realize different
outlooks on my topic. While constructing my proposal, everything flowed well
to me. I received great feedback from my classmates and my instructor. The
feedback given basically suggested more clarification on my target audience
and my description. A student also pointed out the fact that my subtitle
really didnt grasp my audiences attention. I liked the subtitle given to me
instead. I was also asked to open up the description more.

I know what I want to talk about and I know how I want to say it. However,
my current draft confuses the reader a bit. There are quite a few of revisions
I plan to make in the book proposal. I really appreciate everyone for taking
the time to point out areas of improvement in my writing. Ive listed all the
revisions I plan to make before the next book proposal draft.
I plan to clarify my subtitle to A Young Womans Guide to Loving God and
Herself
I plan to revise my description by making it clear (rearrange some things)
I plan to clearly distinguish my book from other books by adding that my
book will include daily Scriptures and devotions for women to read.
I will carefully use parallel structure throughout the description
I will revise or clarify certain phrases in the description
Label Hook section Hook instead of Elevator Pitch
I also plan to make it clear to everyone who Im targeting
Think of why Im fit to talk about this particular topic