Eastin 1

Cale Eastin
English 250
Secton SD
Assignment 5
Futhey
11 December 2015
W-Piece Reflection
Revision is often sought after by everyone, no matter the conditions that lead up to the
desire for it. It is assumed that most anything can be improved upon by regarding past
information and applying updated thought to it. One of such examples is Assignment 3: the ad
campaign analysis.
In order to improve the quality of the ad assessment, more attention needed to be paid to
the visual elements. Only the camera techniques were explained in terms of the visual aspect of
the ad. To expand on this, explanation about the scenes themselves and the lighting choices made
for those scenes was added. Describing the change in lighting from the start of the ad to the
middle was the most notable addition. It explained how the increase in amount of light reflected
a sense of things looking up for the main character. Revision is not limited to the addition of
ideas, however, and it may require rewording or even completely deleting ideas.
One instance that required deletion and rewording was the introductory paragraph. The
beginning sentence was somewhat awkward and clunky. Using different versions of words and
grammatically revising them gave a more clear idea. Besides these awkward phrases, not much
else needed to be deleted or revised as the rhetorical analyses were already solid and the visual
elements only needed additions.

Eastin 2
The rhetorical analyses were perhaps the most well done sections of the assignment due
to their deep insight. The specific rhetorical devices found in the ad are listed and explained in
detail. Each device has its pros and cons presented and how they affect the end message of the
commercial. The analysis explains how the pathos is aiming to affect the audience but how the
logos is laughingly lacking in logic. However, it also explores a possible reason as to why the
logos is so seemingly terrible and how it could actually help the ad. This kind of creative
thinking is what allows these sections of the paper to remain unchanged as they are already
stellar.
The new information about the visual elements had to be inserted somewhere into the
analysis, and the most logical placement seemed to be right after the camera explanation. This is
because the cameras lightly touch on the scenes themselves, but focus more on movement and
synchronization than lighting the scenes. The scenes mentioned in the previous paragraph will
still be in the forefront of the readers mind when they move to the next paragraph, so the
placement works well. No reorganization was needed elsewhere as a general structure already
existed. The paper had an introduction which highlighted what main elements will be covered,
which leads into the rhetorical analysis, followed by the visual commentary. The piece is ended
by a conclusion revisiting the ideas touched on and gives judgement on the advertisement.
Though the amount of physical revision seems small with this assignment, the impact is
larger than it looks. The minute amount of changes to the previous material shows how well the
information already in the paper contributed to the thesis. A revision can be anything from a
complete overhaul to simply adding in another few thoughts in order to further drive home an
element of the thesis.