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Jennifer Stanford
Charlotte Howe
English 2010
November 22, 2015

Sticks and Stones

You may have heard the taunting jingle, sticks and stones can break my
bones, but words will never hurt me. Over 10,000 children were bullied at school
in 2011, tragically this has led to suicides and heart-wrenching moments like
Columbine High (Signe).There is no one-size-fits all solution to the problem that
bullying is spreading like wildfire across the United States. Getting a handle on
bullying in school and in cyberspace is a complex challenge. This huge problem can
leave teachers, students and caretakers feeling overwhelmed and helpless. Well, I
have good news. The good news is that big solutions are trumped each and every
day by the small powerful acts. Trustworthy adults and supportive peers can use
small powerful acts to emphasize to each individual that their dignity, safety and
well-being is priceless (Whitson). With over 80% of students having been bullied in
some way, it can be argued that the issue is so large, we cant even begin to make
a difference. I disagree. Currently I am a full-time student in a college setting.
Through my message today, I hope you will find faculty and counselors to be more
aware of the effects of bullying. That through message today you will find ways to
help alleviate, and even possibly eliminate the cruelty of bullying on our campus. I
strive to live, learn and grow and an anti-bullying environment. Above all, I
challenge you today to stand with me and propose that we make each moment

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better than the last. Not only for ourselves, but to help those who have victims see
their strengths and regain their self-worth.
I would like to illustrate what happens when bullying is not taken seriously.
This is taking me some courage to write, and unfortunately, its all true. Before the
age of cell phones, twitter and cyber bullying I attended high school. In middle
school I was fat, and was teased and humiliated. Even my own brother was my
bully. I often ate lunch in the bathroom. As I made it to high school I was shocked to
find I was talented. I made the basketball, volleyball and softball team. But I was
still teased. People would smash donuts all over my car, write nasty letters about
me and put them in my locker. I told my parents, and I spoke to the principal. The
old saying kids will be kids was their reply. I lost a lot of weight and exercise built
my self-esteem. One day, as a joke I was dared to climb into my locker. My locker
was about five feet and two inches, and barely wide enough to fit me in. It was a
tight squeeze due to my height 55. As the locker door slammed shut, I heard an
eruption of laughter. The bell rang, signifying our next class was to begin. My peers
went to class and left me in my locker. Originally I had believed that the locker door
shut on accident, and believed one of my peers would open it promptly for me. All
of the students went to class, and no one opened my locker door. It became very
clear this was a cruel prank being played on me. After three class periods a teacher
walked by and heard me banging on my locker from the inside. I told her my locker
combination, however my spiral bound notebook was caught in the door which
prevented her from being able to open it. The fire department was called. When
they arrived they welded open my locker door with a blowtorch. All the students
were laughing at me. I felt humiliated. Still it was just kids being kids. My
parents said I was making a big deal out of it, and just dont say anything to

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anyone. If I turned the other cheek, my problems would go away. They didnt. I
made one really good friend I could trust. She became the only reason for me to
feel like I wanted to live. I had become suicidal. Being old-fashioned my parents
didnt believe in medication. Its all just in your head, they would say. My best
friend was also very depressed and we tried to cope by talking. She began cutting.
Again I asked for help, and I received none. Teachers, counselors, the principal all
said it was part of being a teenager. A week later my best friend killed herself. I
began to get more vicious notes. I was a great student, I played sports, and I was
the best flutist in the orchestra. At first I didnt believe how cruel people could be.
Fifteen percent of student absenteeism is due to the fear of being bullied at school
(Bullying and Violence.) This statistic definitely applied to me. I began to skip
school. My parents received a call from the principal advising them of my absences.
When my parents spoke with me about why I was skipping school, I showed them
the mean letters I was receiving. The next day is a day I mustered all my courage
and went back to school. It is a day I will never forget. Before classes began I
opened my locker, and there hung a loaded pistol. . Attached to the pistol was a
letter. To my horror the letter gave me instructions on how to shoot the gun to have
a successful suicide. I will never forget the last few lines of that letter which read,
Put us out of our misery and just kill yourself just like your best friend did.
Everyone will be better without you.
Harassment and bullying have been linked to seventy-five percent of schoolshooting incidents. Here a gun was hung in my locker, with a note telling me to
shoot myself. Tragically my best friend had used a gun to end her life. Although
she did not hard others, it was still a school-shooting incident because she shot
herself in her car on school property. When we think of school-shooting incidents

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we often think of tragic incidents such as Columbine High. What has been the most
tragic to me are the incidents where students take their own lives due to being
bullied, and are never mentioned. Forty-five percent of school-shooting incidents
are student suicides (Jones, Augustine). Any school-shooting incident is tragic
whether it be a personal suicide, or a school shooting. Statistically it is proven that
school-shooting result from students being harassed and bullied. The day I found
the note and pistol in my locker I went directly to the principals office in tears. This
was back in the year 1998, before there were laws against harassment and bullying.
Today if a student had a pistol and a note placed in their locker, there is no doubt
that there would be an investigation to identify the perpetrator. I was stunned that
my principal simply confiscated the note and gun, and told me that kids will be
kids and to not let it get me down. An investigation was never performed, and the
principle never address to the student body the seriousness of students taking
these types of measures. The principal justified the gun being in my locker by
reminding me we lived in a farming community. He concluded it must belong to a
student who was intending to go hunting after school and simply misplaced it. Not
only did the principal fail to do an investigation, but also failed to call the cops.
That night my parents sat in shock when I told them about the gun,
and that the principal did nothing about the situation. This was the first time my
parents clearly saw that my safety was in serious jeopardy. My parents withdrew
me from school the very next day, and we began to make preparations to move far
away from the town we were living in. It took us two months to find a new home.
During that time my parents began to receive threatening letters in the mail from
anonymous sources. My parents had many friends in the community, and were
highly respected. The community my family once loved, began to bully our entire

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family. I can personally understand why an estimated 160,000 children miss school
every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students (National
Education Association). My family did not tell anyone of our plans to move out of
the community. We secretly packed up our house. Once everything was boxed up,
we rented a truck. We were so fearful that someone may try to harm us if they
found out we were moving. As a family we decided we would not begin to load the
moving truck until after midnight. We never told anyone where we went, and my
entire family cut ties with anyone that belonged to that community. Because there
were no anti-bullying laws no one was ever held accountable for hanging a gun in
my locker. My entire family was traumatized by the events that unfolded.
Harassment and bullying are serious crimes. The effects of individuals who are
bullied often last for a lifetime.
Ironically in 1999, the same year I graduated an anti-bullying legislative law
was passed. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services brought together
government officials, researchers, policymakers and created the Anti-Bullying
legislative bill. (U.S. Department of Education) As of 2015 Montana was the last
state to accept these policies which require school districts to report any form of
bullying in anyway. In short, had these bills been passed earlier, my entire family
would not have had to move away from a community to prevent being bullied and
harassed. The best part about these bills is that they enables the victims to take
action against the perpetrator. Perpetrators can and often does serve jail time
(Bernard).
I have propose we each take an oath to doing the small things that make a
difference to stop damaging behaviors such as bullying. Stop bullying by being an
example. Several months ago I was working on my paper in the library. There was

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someone singing rather loudly and off key. At first I felt annoyed, even though I
shouldnt have been. I looked up and row away from me I saw the cutest, happiest
guy who was jamming away on his music using his earphones. He was studying in
which way made him happy. This student had Down Syndrome. His happiness
intrigued me and I admit I envied him. Then I noticed several computers away from
him two very young guys were making fun of this boy because he had Down
Syndrome. These two boys made mimicking gestures that he was a retard. The
student with Down Syndrome had his earphones on and not even aware that two
students nearby were making fun of him. I wanted to keep it that way. I slowly
walked to the two boys. I asked them why they were making fun of this student.
They rolled their eyes like I was so uncool and rudely informed me they werent
making fun of anyone. I smiled and said I was glad to hear that, but their actions
were showing they were. I nicely asked them to stop. I returned back to my seat.
Seconds later these two boys start talking about me. Saying things like, Seriously
who is that old lady to tell us who we can and cant make fun of. Five minutes
goes by and I just shrug it off, until to my dismay this boy had turned his earphones
off and pointed to himself and asked Are you making fun of me because I am
handicapped? The crushing blow on his face I will never forget. Tears streamed
down my face as I went over and helped him get his things together. I introduced
myself and asked him to please sit with me. He said he had class, and left crying. I
returned to the two boys and asked them what grade they were in. Their reply was
duh, college, arent you too old to be here? I let them know they had bullied that
boy and me, but I was different. I knew that they were shallow. I conveyed to them
that everyone has a right to a higher education. They smirked and rolled their eyes.
I looked them one by one in the eyes and said, Bullying is not cool, its not right,

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and you dont deserve to be here if you cant treat people kindly. Those are the only
people who dont deserve to be here. I hope you both think about it, and stop
making fun of others. I returned to my desk and kept with my homework. Several
minutes later a girl came over and handed me a note, winked and walked off. The
note read, I am deaf, but I can read lips. You are my hero. Thank you for making a
difference. One person does make a difference.
I propose that at all times we are aware of our surroundings. Notice someone
who might be sitting alone, sit by them. Maybe you will find yourself in a situation
like mine where you see two students who are making fun of someone else. In high
school not even my principle stood up for me when a gun was hung in my locker.
That experience taught me to take any type of bullying seriously. I am happy to
know that society is treating bullying more seriously. I encourage all of us to report
any form of bullying that you witness. Talk to a teacher if your class mate is being
bullied. Be committed to have an open ear. Reassure the victim that what the bully
has done is not correct, and do what needs to be done to appropriately correct it. It
sounds so simple right? It is, and its why I urge each one of you today to write
down the following, I commit to only uplift, help and stand up for others and sign
it. Hang it up on your mirror and every morning read your commitment out loud.
By doing this every day you are reminding yourself of the commitment you made.
Keeping that reminder fresh in your mind you will be more aware of what is
happening around you. Therefore, you will be more likely to notice when someone
is being bullied; then you can take action and follow through on your commitment
to uplift, help and stand up for others.

I prefer to sing the jingle I shared at the

beginning to make it go like this stick and stones may break my bones, but my
words will always heal you.

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Works Cited

Whitson, Signe. Bringing An End To Bullying Reclaiming Children & Youth.

Academic Search Premier. Web. 23 Nov 2015.

US Education Department Releases Analysis of Bullying Laws and Politics.

Archive. N.P. Dec. 2011. Web. 4 Nov. 2015. < http://www.ed.gov/news/pressreleases/us-education-department-releases-analysis-state-bullying-laws-andpolicies>.

Bernard, Richie. 2015s Best and Worst State at Controlling Bullying. Article.
Wallet Hub. n.d. Web. 3 Nov. 2015. https://wallethub.com/edu/best-worst-states-atcontrolling-bullying/9920/#main-findings

Bullying and Violence. NoBullying.com. Sept. 25, 2015. Web. 1 Nov. 2015.
http://nobullying.com/domestic-violence-and-bullying-are-related/

Jones, Joseph R., and Sharon Murphy Augustine. Creating An Anti-Bullying Culture
in Secondary Schools: Characteristics To Consider When Constructing Anti-Bullying
Programs. American Secondary Education. Academic Search Premier. Web 23 Nov.
2015

Laird, Charlton. Websters New World Thesaurus. Cleveland: Wiley Publishing Inc.,
2003. Print.
National Center for Educational Statistics. Student Reports on Bullying and Cyberbullying: Results from the 2011 School Crime Supplement to the National Crime
Victimization Survey. U.S. Department of Education. August 2013. Web.
https://nces.ed.gov/pubs2013/2013329.pdf

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Schargel, Franklin. Bulling: What Schools, parents, and Students Can Do. Article.
Huff Post. Jan. 2014. Web. 20 Nov. 2015 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/franklinschargel/bullying-what-schools-par_b_4103901.html