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SCORING GUIDE FOR ESSAY 1
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This st wil grow with each major essay assignmentpone
Ret Stewart
ENG 101
Due: September 25,2015,
‘Time is Money
ens have exactly one yea
n ae the best contenders for errands and loan pay offs
‘unless they can obtain moze tine. Ch
Inthe closing sta
7
Sylvia Wels, heritor encounter both systems of if
gs tee’ enough me for everyone i everyone ates the same mind
same way money does in our
way to separste social classes
In this lass the
lege citizens live day-by-day with 24 hours or
a people have todo a Jot at a speedy pace. Poverty-stricken citizens lve approximately in zones
y-county distiets. In
somewheresrewaRT
ENG 103
‘ue: September 25,2015
The east
continue borrowing time from his company while risking thei ives to reimburse Weis. Wil)
‘Salas—a very poor man, was rewarded 105 years from H. Hamilton, Hamilton wes wealthy,
‘miserable, sad drunk ata bar, Hamilton left his arm haze exposing his wealth. The seme factor
‘of flashing large sur of money in today's society, Salas, on attentive
ton from
{dating and corrupt street gang. Upon saving Hamilton
‘amessage on a window saying "Don't waste my time”, dispensed his 105 years to Will and
rested on a bridge for five minutes unt he timed out
Inthe end, their heiress falls vietien to softheartedness and allows her wealth to be
crossed zones
squandered on the poor. Losing his mother by the seconds rernsining,
Will 161 Sylvia ata luxurious Casino where his fortune was doubled.
here Will ierited approximately 1
all or moshing,
keepers confiscated
the opportunsy to Kidnap Sylvia, Sylvia
then became the “Bennie” to Will's “Clyde”
Md.
save to live your whole life
ory GE He
lrying not to die by mistake, 1 GB po fo ve ous the system to earn a better way
Stewartber 25, 2035
‘There will never bea common set of choices, chances, and opportunities unt
everyone asin the same minds, «THES ts THCOMcIUSIME ~
draw some ics, Hme: monty Han sceme wey
you do with citylcomby Living j scrounhlirey
FOMoKe ends yack
fe farclradiing tepic - adouerly wy plceuned
ouused Te Words welt: wick 1s ianpotans—
aK geting ee thew a cxOss.
stewart13 \wene! LENS =
ad
S208
F SR IRODY tu
yo DOINT
Thesis: geRLRODY See tS We
“Ternporaity fakes onal the attributes of money plus the added dimension of 8
deterministic relationship to mortal
STEWART
te
ED FOREST
IME :
se IT WOUD BE
Ss
Topi sentence for Paragraph to
mei used ina way 0 separate social asses inthe same way money dees in ou
esi
(Drove sentence or paragraph hee
spe} The lbs are macabrein the sense tat the becaur of mvohemert hor depen of
4 coath being equvaentto being broke, w DoST WASTE May THEE TRULIA )
Qpoorasion ‘
our he heiress fl vii fo stheatedness and alows ner wealth tobe
In fhe end,
squandered on the poor. ~ WANTED TO BE® TeCH
CoRR ACN.
Oger = aes or jess
~ Raw = Wel OF = can me Worever
YOOR= WE WN Hie IST FEN) TONES.
CH= NES IW OTHE IST ZONE (WEN Greet),
“WME 1S. WTERATIY MONEY
SPEND WHOIE WEE TRYNA NOT TO DE BY] MISTAKE
D oR = ave w wOK KR TIME
AVE TO BORROW TIME FROM THE TIME LOAN BANK
HAVE To STEAL / BECOME CORRUPT FOR TIME
TIME ~ KEEPERS MNTERS Al TIME BENG GAWED CN
DSRICT ADS
Ret RAISE THE COST OF LIVING SO THE POCR CAN DIE OKT
SAS GAMBIES TIME FOR ETERNANY HVING, RYE IS, caw
HE Ret NEKESS 1S “KINA PED, AN
RE _ POHL SIRES 1S SAIDNES PED _PAL 4 pOd2 MAN WHERE aeashawn Stewart
fing 101
Revision Plan
1 Ipfan to enhance my vocabul
2. plan to focus on» powerful ondusion because thats my major sue.
3. plan tot the key points wile breaking down the points without over expliing
4. plan to abuays maintain an organized outline of what 'm wrng about.
5. Iplan towrite bove °C” grade papers.Rashavin tewat
ENG 101
Due: Monday
(ood!
vor
oe Revision Plan
Ars
‘My main mistakes in the past have bee
weak thesis sentences
+ weak conclusions
‘ve enhanced my condhislon in my essay. Knowing that Ive mastered a strong thesis inthis essay, ve
been struggling on my conclusion Because I'm afraid of overthrowing my thesis,
‘my weatnesses are:
‘restating my thesis without using the thesis
+ conchaing what 've written without giving too much informationfo how's Plu |
abl nv yore oeplain~
th
stewast a
ae capt’ youbousa
DUE: September 17, 2014 pert ade
ce
Tims is Money
esion where deterministic citizens are
Time takes on al attributes of money—in
struggling o courteraet morality, ‘The amount of time embedded in the skin of citizens (running
from the poot. Time is monitored, confiseated,
‘unless they can ob
Inthe closing sagegyhee's enough ime fr everyone if everyone distibues the same mindset
a
1.3
to separate social classes in the same way money dees in our
‘Tie is used in 6
society, The underprivileged citizens live day-by-day with 24 hours or les. In this class the
people have to do alot ata speedy pace. Poverty-stricken citizens live appcoxims
ight through thiteen,
‘contrast, our upper-class citizens in today’s society
“will compensate the less fortunate for
he gove
lose to their jobs, It's established th
is
fora better home in te €
he wealthy the
theiy homes, in exchany
being compensated, rae Keepers” (cops) are in contro ofthe death rte
feans. Bills, ocd,
“The cost of living constantly rises as well a the daily rate to pay back ti
Stewartsrewart
ENG 101
DUE: September 17,2014
clothing, nytbing tl
‘Salas—a very poor man, was rewarded 105 yeats from H. Ha
‘miserable, and drunk ata bar, Hamilton let bis arm bare exposing his wealth. The same factor
‘of flashing large sums of money in today's society. Salas, an attentive citizen tried vo save
rested on a bridge for five minutes until he times out
Losing his mother by the seconds remining, Will Sales erossed zones fo New
Greenwich. Will met Syivie at «Juxurious Casino where his fortune was doubled, Philipe Weis
gambled with Wills!
Salas was abeupily onthe radar ofthe ne keepers. ‘The
ing the nonsense of her
pe asheuger TS Hoh
Efi Hr 2entus
pcs Be COU
Inconclusion,
c
stewenStewart