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OUTLINE Atco ENGLISH 101 AO Qvfee M. MeCampball fle SCORING GUIDE FOR ESSAY 1 me Doesiiot [Meets Evoeeds | Demonstrates | Reviowors NOpoints cach | meet criteria for a proficiency ‘score and Grterator a |*C* Opoits comments c 6-7 points = Soins _ ‘ne or 0.) Reis the iro ceay senences connects event 9 identiis the ignfeance ot sothavng money. _| atthereacer |" C 0-5 pins ips | Theil Fat statement, (Sates that }] Shows a noperspecive (nica reser T fromthe reatorshp 7 wer beeen wort event and . tmeney and A, Soe oor Pea = Spon Suppariig | Oreer wo Detail sentences Destin | announce a three vivid money cee Toor Senifcance |onare 0 at nothaving | lovant i sreney | XMS emcys one_| ces ni EAN and | the OS points 6 Tpoins {8-9 pts [io points Be ae a 6 | RN Does nat mest"C” [Meets "C” Standard | Bacceds"C | Comments Standard Stand 0-5 points (68 points) {9-10 points Biructure | One ar wo opie | Cleary stated tone | Tooke semences ae Sentences missing; sentences; reilly woraeE 0 lo Paragraphs lack unity. | Paragraphs cleanty | ann hess and — related to tests | all supporting _ material Coherence | Paragraph not elated 7 0 alo does nat od clear patter; pl changes Word Wording’ vague; Usesarprerrite Chole |Wordsaecortree | pronoun Sithater means | Svlsretundnt | ato Sram! won Lemar spae Blaser ors cen Low tne oecy Lie ScnTpenan pasos toga Pe) Cle SOT matter | Worn ence _ mor: You bogs wh 20 pins. You lose one pin for ech the aor ero me ct ac ‘Spaling —| pronoun use 2a Capialzaton — | comma ssico % Suter agroement vented sntnce Income vero fom sentence tegmert Verb onse This st wil grow with each major essay assignment pone Ret Stewart ENG 101 Due: September 25,2015, ‘Time is Money ens have exactly one yea n ae the best contenders for errands and loan pay offs ‘unless they can obtain moze tine. Ch Inthe closing sta 7 Sylvia Wels, heritor encounter both systems of if gs tee’ enough me for everyone i everyone ates the same mind same way money does in our way to separste social classes In this lass the lege citizens live day-by-day with 24 hours or a people have todo a Jot at a speedy pace. Poverty-stricken citizens lve approximately in zones y-county distiets. In somewhere srewaRT ENG 103 ‘ue: September 25,2015 The east continue borrowing time from his company while risking thei ives to reimburse Weis. Wil) ‘Salas—a very poor man, was rewarded 105 years from H. Hamilton, Hamilton wes wealthy, ‘miserable, sad drunk ata bar, Hamilton left his arm haze exposing his wealth. The seme factor ‘of flashing large sur of money in today's society, Salas, on attentive ton from {dating and corrupt street gang. Upon saving Hamilton ‘amessage on a window saying "Don't waste my time”, dispensed his 105 years to Will and rested on a bridge for five minutes unt he timed out Inthe end, their heiress falls vietien to softheartedness and allows her wealth to be crossed zones squandered on the poor. Losing his mother by the seconds rernsining, Will 161 Sylvia ata luxurious Casino where his fortune was doubled. here Will ierited approximately 1 all or moshing, keepers confiscated the opportunsy to Kidnap Sylvia, Sylvia then became the “Bennie” to Will's “Clyde” Md. save to live your whole life ory GE He lrying not to die by mistake, 1 GB po fo ve ous the system to earn a better way Stewart ber 25, 2035 ‘There will never bea common set of choices, chances, and opportunities unt everyone asin the same minds, «THES ts THCOMcIUSIME ~ draw some ics, Hme: monty Han sceme wey you do with citylcomby Living j scrounhlirey FOMoKe ends yack fe farclradiing tepic - adouerly wy plceuned ouused Te Words welt: wick 1s ianpotans— aK geting ee thew a cxOss. stewart 13 \wene! LENS = ad S208 F SR IRODY tu yo DOINT Thesis: geRLRODY See tS We “Ternporaity fakes onal the attributes of money plus the added dimension of 8 deterministic relationship to mortal STEWART te ED FOREST IME : se IT WOUD BE Ss Topi sentence for Paragraph to mei used ina way 0 separate social asses inthe same way money dees in ou esi (Drove sentence or paragraph hee spe} The lbs are macabrein the sense tat the becaur of mvohemert hor depen of 4 coath being equvaentto being broke, w DoST WASTE May THEE TRULIA ) Qpoorasion ‘ our he heiress fl vii fo stheatedness and alows ner wealth tobe In fhe end, squandered on the poor. ~ WANTED TO BE® TeCH CoRR ACN. Oger = aes or jess ~ Raw = Wel OF = can me Worever YOOR= WE WN Hie IST FEN) TONES. CH= NES IW OTHE IST ZONE (WEN Greet), “WME 1S. WTERATIY MONEY SPEND WHOIE WEE TRYNA NOT TO DE BY] MISTAKE D oR = ave w wOK KR TIME AVE TO BORROW TIME FROM THE TIME LOAN BANK HAVE To STEAL / BECOME CORRUPT FOR TIME TIME ~ KEEPERS MNTERS Al TIME BENG GAWED CN DSRICT ADS Ret RAISE THE COST OF LIVING SO THE POCR CAN DIE OKT SAS GAMBIES TIME FOR ETERNANY HVING, RYE IS, caw HE Ret NEKESS 1S “KINA PED, AN RE _ POHL SIRES 1S SAIDNES PED _PAL 4 pOd2 MAN WHERE ae ashawn Stewart fing 101 Revision Plan 1 Ipfan to enhance my vocabul 2. plan to focus on» powerful ondusion because thats my major sue. 3. plan tot the key points wile breaking down the points without over expliing 4. plan to abuays maintain an organized outline of what 'm wrng about. 5. Iplan towrite bove °C” grade papers. Rashavin tewat ENG 101 Due: Monday (ood! vor oe Revision Plan Ars ‘My main mistakes in the past have bee weak thesis sentences + weak conclusions ‘ve enhanced my condhislon in my essay. Knowing that Ive mastered a strong thesis inthis essay, ve been struggling on my conclusion Because I'm afraid of overthrowing my thesis, ‘my weatnesses are: ‘restating my thesis without using the thesis + conchaing what 've written without giving too much information fo how's Plu | abl nv yore oeplain~ th stewast a ae capt’ youbousa DUE: September 17, 2014 pert ade ce Tims is Money esion where deterministic citizens are Time takes on al attributes of money—in struggling o courteraet morality, ‘The amount of time embedded in the skin of citizens (running from the poot. Time is monitored, confiseated, ‘unless they can ob Inthe closing sagegyhee's enough ime fr everyone if everyone distibues the same mindset a 1.3 to separate social classes in the same way money dees in our ‘Tie is used in 6 society, The underprivileged citizens live day-by-day with 24 hours or les. In this class the people have to do alot ata speedy pace. Poverty-stricken citizens live appcoxims ight through thiteen, ‘contrast, our upper-class citizens in today’s society “will compensate the less fortunate for he gove lose to their jobs, It's established th is fora better home in te € he wealthy the theiy homes, in exchany being compensated, rae Keepers” (cops) are in contro ofthe death rte feans. Bills, ocd, “The cost of living constantly rises as well a the daily rate to pay back ti Stewart srewart ENG 101 DUE: September 17,2014 clothing, nytbing tl ‘Salas—a very poor man, was rewarded 105 yeats from H. Ha ‘miserable, and drunk ata bar, Hamilton let bis arm bare exposing his wealth. The same factor ‘of flashing large sums of money in today's society. Salas, an attentive citizen tried vo save rested on a bridge for five minutes until he times out Losing his mother by the seconds remining, Will Sales erossed zones fo New Greenwich. Will met Syivie at «Juxurious Casino where his fortune was doubled, Philipe Weis gambled with Wills! Salas was abeupily onthe radar ofthe ne keepers. ‘The ing the nonsense of her pe asheuger TS Hoh Efi Hr 2entus pcs Be COU Inconclusion, c stewen Stewart

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