Wonderfalls Vs 2x03 (Hanging Koala)

Wonderfalls
"Hanging Koala"
by
VLC
Based on, Wonderfalls by

Tim Minear and Bryan Fuller
Revisions by
VLC
Current Revision
5.618
Name: tHE Mouse209 Company

Address
Phone Number
Email: mouse209@yahoo.com
Wonderfalls “Hanging Koala” 2x03 06/06/2006
(edit-outs in red) 1/ 115
WONDERFALLS
“HANGING KOALA”
TEASER
(1) SHOT: OPEN WITH A SCENE SOMEWHERE IN QUEBEC - DAY.

A line of people at an outdoor bakery or café. Frenchy
romantic atmosphere. One man in line, wearing a Beret-style
hat, makes his purchase (in French), TURNS, and WALKS toward
us out of frame. It was ERIC! CAMERA PULLS DOWN at nearby a
couple’s lips about to kiss.
(2) INT. TYLER HOUSE – DAY
(2A) SHARON applying lipstick in the bathroom.
SHARON
(aloud to Jaye O.S.)
There’s 10 things in the fridge
ready to eat. Don’t use the
stove. Don’t answer the door.
(2B) Sharon exiting the bathroom & entering living room.
SHARON (CONT'D)
I’ll only drop off Beth’s
blueprints at her jobsite.
5, 10 minutes tops.
(to self)
Um, blueprints.
(2C) She finds any nearby paper.
SHARON (CONT'D)
If Dr. Ron arrives early, I’ll
come thru the garage door.
Just say “changing the oil”.
AND be sure to slip in that
question I told you for—
(2D) SHARON exits bathroom into the living room and spots DR. RON
already in the house with JAYE. They sit up from their couch
session.
SHARON (CONT'D)
Dr. Ron!
DR. RON
Hello Sharon.
JAYE
He's coming early.
SHARON
(Trying to assemble an excuse)
I was... I wasn’t...
(polite hello)
Dr. Ron.
DR. RON
(to Jaye)
Ah, got big sister’s to watch
you today.
(to Sharon)
Hope Jaye hasn’t been too much
on your hands?
SHARON
A peach.
DR. RON
Are you leaving?
The Tylers home?
JAYE
They’re out.
(parsing a “your busted” smirk)
Just us.
DR. RON
Leaving Jaye home alone?
You know family support is
essential into this part of your
sister’s post-transitional
therapy.
JAYE
(hint of sarcasm)
Oh, no not Sharon intentionally.
Big sister leaving little sister
the ex-mental patient – alone?
JAYE (CONT'D)
With Share's My Little Pony
wallpaper and a home supplied
with natural gas.
SHARON
(fake laugh)
(sotto to Jaye)
Leave my unicorns out of this.
(to Dr. Ron)
Of course not. I made a promise.
Just looking for my briefcase.
Ah!
DR. RON
You’re dressed.
SHARON
I’m a pretty girl.
DR. RON
(shares a round of laughter)
Very well. Nice progress today.
Until our next session.
DR. RON (CONT'D)

(to Sharon)
By the way, good catch cutting
the faces out from the morning
paper. That's
Oh. Yes. One more thing.
"Gay" is not inherently genetic.
The outcome of social
psychological experiences in
one's lifetime draws them to a
specific sexual preference or
trait. Purely their own
determination.
...To answer your previous
question. My office is always
open.
(3) MONTAGE: “FIND A BABYSITTER”

CUE MUSIC: Jazzy. Instrumental
Montage sequence...
(3A) INT. TYLER HOUSE – DAY ( CONTINUOUS )
Sharon on the phone.
SHARON
(per caller)
Hi, can you baby-sit?
A 26 year old girl.
Little Jaynee...
She’s 26 now...
REPLIES PER CALLER

No. No. Nope. Sorry.
JAYE
You gotta sell it.
Incentive!
SHARON
(per caller)
Babysitter paid upfront...
I’ll pay if you just show up...
10,000 channels...
REPLIES PER CALLER

Yes. Yes. Sure.
BOY
Ya get the Playboy Channel?
OLD LADY MAHONEY

Of course Share Bear.
I live just down the street.
I babysat you two when you were
just knee-high munchkins. I’ll
unplug my Rascal and be on my
way.
SHARON
Thank you Mrs. Mahoney.
(3B) EXT. TYLER HOUSE - FRONT DOOR – ( CONTINUOUS )

Sharon or Jaye answer the door. The strangest sitters show up.
Each sitter is REJECTED and PAID...
--First, a BLIND GUY.
--Second, BIG BLACK DUDE with bandana and muscles (paid via
the mail-slot thru the door).
--Third, MRS. BEETLE holding a plate of muffins.
--Fourth, a little pervert BOY comes running out of the Tyler
house with a video camera in-hand, Jaye chasing him out in
a bath robe and head towel.
JAYE
That better not be on YouTube!
I know where you live!!
(3C) Wind-down montage music.
(3D) EXT. TYLER HOUSE – ( CONTINUOUS )

Sharon locks up house. Goes to her car. Jaye is in the
passenger seat.
SHARON
No matter what, you will not
leave this car. Got it?
JAYE
What about an accident, or fire?
SHARON
Air bag. Fire extinguisher.
(3E) Sharon pulls out into the street, she backs up to pay an old
lady slowly strolling down their sidewalk in a Rascal...
SHARON
Thank you Mrs. Mahoney.
JAYE
Road trip.
(3F) End Music. END MONTAGE.
END OF TEASER
TRANSITION: CUT TO
THEME SONG
ACT ONE
(4) EXT. HEALING TREE BLDG. – “STAY IN THE CAR” - DAY
(4A) Hospital grounds, Sharon pulls in for parking. By the building

entrance, BETH waves Sharon to come inside. Sharon waves Beth
to come to her car. Sharon is on her cell with father DARRIN.
SHARON
Dad? I need you to watch Jaye.
Beth is grand opening the
Autistic Center.
She needs me to...
JAYE
(sotto)
"She needs me".
SHARON
She's the architect.
I’m not getting out of anything.
I am at the hospital!
Look out a window.
INTERCUT with...
(4B) INT. HOSPITAL – DAY ( CONTINUOUS )
Darrin is stuck at a desk full of paperwork.
DARRIN
Sorry Share bear. I’m prepping
for a 2 hour bowl obstruction
surgery. I wouldn’t be able to
keep an eye on her.
SHARON
Have her stack bedpans.
I really need my hands free.
DARRIN
My hands are swabbed with prep
iodine. Again, sorry...
(4C) Jaye takes cell phone after a minor back and fourth jostle.
JAYE
Gimme. It's on speaker.
(to Dad)
Hi Dad.
DARRIN (CONT'D)
...I suppose we can go golfing
afterwards, maybe.
JAYE
Golf? How boring. Let's {adlib}.
...or get some Chinese food?
SHARON
You’re golfing with Dad.
DARRIN
Have you tried your brother?
Aaron said he had the day off.
SHARON
That little draft dodger.
Beth's here. Call you back!
(4D) Sharon ends phone call.

END INTERCUT.
JAYE
What about my Chinese?
SHARON (CONT'D)
Eat here.
(as Beth arrives)
Hi.
BETH
Hi. You made it just in time.
The, um, Fire Inspector is about
to signoff on the place. It's a
big moment. I want to show "it"
to you before everyone else gets
to see... you know.
SHARON
I got Jaye. And big brother
no-show is somewhere inflating
the world's ego.
JAYE
I can't be left alone; legally.
SHARON
Medical mandate.
BETH
You know, I bet I can ask my
brother to watch Jaye. He
second-chairs the project. The
building's done. So all his work
here is work is already cutout
for him.
SHARON
Cyle, yes. He's very Zen Jaye.
You'll like him. Smart, yet able
to restrain you in a moment's
heartbeat.
JAYE
Hey big Sis. Whaddya say we
ditch all this, spend that money
you saved on babysitting and
let's get ingloriously
plastered. Just like ol' times.
SHARON
Awe. Did you hear that?
She thinks she's independent.
Until you weaned your Class-
A's... no newspapers, no
tchotchkes, no things with
faces, and especially no
alcohol. You’re golfing with
dad. Relax. Here. Read a
magazine. And we never had an
"ol' time".
JAYE
Why are all the faces cut out?
(4E) Jaye climbs over the center and crowds Sharon in the
driver-side window to show Beth her cut-up magazine.
JAYE
(to Beth)
This caption says "Brad Pitt
wedding disaster photos". I
can't tell, does the bride's
breasts look perky to you?
BETH
Um. Yup. That's Jennifer.
Jennifer Aniston has perky
breasts. Angelina is—
SHARON
Angelina is flat because she
works out. You could've ask me.
JAYE
Pre-GenX, you know nothing of
our youth culture.
SHARON
Please.
JAYE
Angelina, who?
SHARON
A-Ang-Angelina... Tomb Raider!
She was in that movie.
JAYE
Brad and Angelina Tomb Raider.
I think that what they said in
the headlines.
SHARON
(to Beth)
Would you please call Cyle.
BETH
Already did.
He's been at the landscapers all
morning. How long does it take
to pick out a tree? Right?
(answers phone)
Text message says,
“there in 10... stuck in nurse”.
I think he meant nursery.
SHARON
I guess the Inspector can wait,
10 minutes.
(4F) Sharon and Beth can only look at each other.
JAYE
(reads to self)
Top 10 signs she's in the mood—
(throws away magazine)
Where's your oil maintenance
record?
(4G) Sharon handcuffs Jaye to the steering wheel.
SHARON
Detainee insurance.
But think of it as a puzzle--
"What would Houdini do?".
JAYE
He drowned in six feet of
concrete.
SHARON
(leaving)
There’s candy in the glove-box.
5 minutes tops!
JAYE
You give yourself the full 10.
Go Rock that inspection!
Give'r me best!
(4H) Beth leads Sharon by the hand into the building.

The expression on Sharon looking back at Jaye resembles that
of an animal being lead to slaughter.
JAYE
(to self, confident)
Gen-X. Bonercide.
(5) INT./EXT. NURSERY – YAKIMA NURSERY – DAY
(5A) The SELLER JIN walks with CYLE (pronounced as “Kyle”) pointing
out varieties. Seller Jin is Chinese.
SELLER JIN
Perennials, Ivies...
You name it, we may got it.
CYLE
Do you have anything from The
Bush?
SELLER JIN
Flowering or berry?
CYLE
No, no. From The Bush.
SELLER JIN
Never been there.
CYLE
Jin, you’re an arborist and
you’ve never heard of The Bush.
The Bush, mate? Could you take a
guess where I’m from just by my
accent?
SELLER JIN
Italian.
CYLE
Australia.
SELLER JIN
Ah!...
Never been there.
CYLE
Kangaroos, koalas, bushman?
SELLER JIN
(clears throat)
(statement-like)
We are not in the business of
the illicit selling of wild and
or exotic animals, or people
here.
(off Cyle’s reaction )
Ah, you haven’t heard.
Never mind.
But, if you are in the market
for a “companion”...
Mimi’s Arboretum, ask for the
"cheap pansies"
(after a beat)
Is Sydney in Australia?
(6) INT. CAR - DAY
(6A) Jaye is handcuffed to the steering wheel. She just turned the
last page of her magazine. Her Skittles are empty. Searches
the car for entertainment. She tests the radio. Her interest
shifts to...
(6B) CAMERA FOCUS on a flyer on the windshield.
(7) INT. DARK CLOSET – DAY
(7A) Beth and Sharon are coitus in a utility closet. Knocking over
cleaning supply bottles, and popping open an electrical panel
with her heel/knee.
(7B) The bumping and grinding pushes buttons on her car key fob.
(8) INT. CAR / EXT. BLDG. – DAY
(8A) Jaye attempts to reach outside for the flyer. She recoils when
the car spontaneously HONKS.
JAYE
Oh!
(8B) Repeat several failed attempts.

JAYE
(sotto)
No eyes. No mouth.
It doesn't count as... (scoffs)
There's no such thing as—
(on multiple honks)
Oh!
(8C) She gets head-turns from the landscapers/construction workers.
(9) INT./EXT. NURSERY – YAKIMA NURSERY – DAY
(9A) Cyle and Seller Jin walk into frame. Small tree plantings are
tagged “PROPERTY OF US/CAN CUSTOMS. ORIGIN: SYDNEY, AU”.
SELLER JIN
Customs seize many things:
plants to seedlings. What ever
they don’t incinerate, we take,
Lysol, quarantine, and sell for
profit.
(points)
Shei chin! (behold)
Sydney Australia!
CYLE
Eucalyptus! Beautiful mate.
Look at the foliage. Too bad
these are kinda small for
‘scape-ing.
SELLER JIN
You want big?
CYLE
You have big? How big?
SELLER JIN
We’re a big nursery Mr. Cyle.
And size is proportion to price.
CYLE
Jin, I'm no run-of-the-mill
landscaper. I need "signature".
A monolith. A beacon. I want
these kids to look out the
window and say... "well, hello
buddy, lovely are your branches
lookin' today. Would you like
some company?"
(after a beat)
And of course money is no
object. Do you have somethin’
like that Mr. Jin?
SELLER JIN
(odd play-on aussie accent)
I may have sumthin' for ya Mr.
Cyle.
CYLE
I see you’re a speakin’ my
language!
SELLER JIN
Yes, I speak a you language.
CYLE
Well lay it on me Tokyo Joe!
SELLER JIN
Shei chin!
Behold!
Turkish Pinus Ponderosa!
(9B) CAMERA pulls back straight UP looking down 100’ to show all of
one very tall tree.
CYLE
Whoooooooooooo hooo!
I’ll take it!
SELLER JIN
Epic.
(10) INT. DARK CLOSET – DAY
Beth and Sharon still coitus in a utility closet. The car key
fob being pressed rhythmically.
(11) EXT. BLDG. – DAY ( CONTINUOUS )
(11A) On site a large flatbed just delivered the large tree.

A crane is propping it into place at the Healing Tree Center.
(12) EXT. CAR – DAY ( CONTINUOUS )
(12A) Jaye attempts to crawl ass-first out the window. Eventually

retrieves her prize flyer.
JAYE
Gotcha.
(12B) Car alarm goes off. Windows begin roll up.
JAYE
Crap! Bad car! Bad car!!
(12C) Jaye tries to scuttle back inside.
(13) EXT. BLDG./CAR – DAY ( CONTINUOUS )
(13A) One of the landscapers (MAN HERO/CYLE) steps out of his pickup
truck.
JAYE (O.S.)
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaad car!!
(screams)
(13B) He grabs something and darts out of frame. As the window

creeps inches towards Jaye’s windpipe, a yellow Craftsman
drill/toolbox is stop-wedged into the window.
A tap on the windshield...
MAN HERO (CYLE)

Was that worth 35% off your next
oil change?
(14) INT. HOSPITAL – SURGERY ROOM - DAY
PATIENT
(groaning with abdominal pain)
ERNESTO
Relax Mr. Brown. Lean sideways
if it helps.
(14A) Enter Darrin with an x-ray.
DARRIN
Put away your sharpies
gentlemen. Just got back clearer
x-rays. Mr. Brown's going home.
DOCTOR
What about the exploratory
obstruction?
(14B) Darrin then puts on his mask.
DARRIN
No obstruction. Nine hours,
reported. Yup, this one requires
no cutting whatsoever, per say.
PATIENT
Ah! Oooohhh! (big long fart)
(15) INT. BLDG. – "FIRE MARSHAL BILL" - DAY
(15A) Beth and Sharon walk into frame to a waiting FIRE MARSHAL and
his clipboard.
FIRE MARSHAL
Signs here, indicating you
witnessed the inspection.
Where were you during the
inspection?
BETH
Making copies.
SHARON
Of your blueprints.
BETH
(sotto)
Shhh-Sharon!
FIRE MARSHAL
And they are?
SHARON
In the (hesitates) car.
BETH
(scoffs)
(15B) While writing on his clipboard the Fire Marshal catches Sharon
hiking up something lacy, then catching a glimpse of Beth
buttoning up her shirt. Sharon does a blonde hair flip.
BETH
(off his subtle reaction)
Don’t look so surprised Bill.
(15C) They exit the building.
(16) EXT. BLDG – "MY CAR!" – ( CONTINUOUS )
SHARON
My car!!!
(16A) Firemen have completely cut off the driver-side door. Jaye
approaches Sharon with the handcuffed wheel, and gives it.
JAYE
Rule #1 of the babysitter:
Don't kill the baby!
TRANSITION:
COMMERCIAL
(17) INT. THE BARREL – "BEER FEST" - DAY
(17A) Start a TIGHT SHOT and ZOOM OUT on the face of a YODELING
GERMAN. It’s the 2nd Annual Local Niagara Canadian Germans
Micro Brewers Gathering / Happy Bastille Day. Crowd singing.
Live accordion music. AARON enters the bar and is offered
test-tubes of sample beers from HELGA - a pushed-up bustier
beer wench. Aaron approaches MAHANDRA tending bar.
MAHANDRA
(to Helga)
Helga! Don’t rub up against the
customers.
(to waiter)
Tell her this a family
establishment. Not make-a-family
establishment.
(to Aaron)
Hi.
AARON
Plaid knee-high lederhosen?
MAHANDRA
Bastille Day, spirit!
AARON
Cliché-licious.
I'll have my turkey club.
Extra onion please.
MAHANDRA
Don't expect a date tonight.
We're a bar. Drink something.
AARON
Fine. I'll have whatever she's,
serving, um... Yes. I'll take
one those. Oh! Very friendly.
HELGA
{{adlibs German}}
MAHANDRA
Nein, nein tity!
AARON
(downs the test tube of beer)
You know this means I'll have to
park here and walk to work.
MAHANDRA
Hung over on an afternoon in a
souvenir store. Congrats. Your
Jaye's perfect successor.
(to O.S.)
Helga, no!
(to waiter)
Hey, tell her she can't put her
finger there.
AARON
BTW, your ad is now running in
the local paper as we speak.
Sold right around the corner,
right in front of that canary
shop.
(17B) Band begins playing polka rendition of "Love Shack".
MAHANDRA
Thank God. I really need all the
help I can... (inaudible)
AARON
What?
(17C) German waitresses put a karaoke microphone in Aaron's face.

Then carry him away.
HELGA & WAITRESSES

(to Aaron)
Sing. Ja! Ja!
AARON (O.S.)
I normally don't—
"Got me a Chrysler as big as a
whale..."
(18) SERIES OF SHOTS:
FLY-THRU-VIDEO of the Healing Tree Center building complex.

Show it's part of Niagara General Hospital, it's Australian
themed, a 2-story building, with special gym, and lots of
patient rooms. The “Welcome to” sign has a koala on it.
(19) EXT. HEALING TREE BLDG. – "OPENING CEREMONY" – DAY/CLOUDY
(19A) Crowd in front of building, yellow hardhat construction

workers, and live marching band music. Staffers are waiting to
cut of the ribbon. The skies threaten of rain.
STAFFER
Where's Beth? We can't do this
without the Architect.
FIRE MARSHAL
Where's Shhhh-Sharon.
STAFFER
Uh, who?
FIRE MARSHAL
(does a blonde's hair flip)
(19B) Holding hands, Jaye's new arm candy leads her under a tree.
JAYE
Let's ditch this.
MAN HERO (CYLE)

And miss the best part?
JAYE
You're parched. You need to lie
down.
MAN HERO (CYLE)

About ten seconds the skies will
open up and all these people get
soaked.
(19C) CUE MUSIC: Joel Plaskett - Nowhere with you.

He takes off his hoodie sweater, tosses it to Jaye and walks
out awaiting rain. Jaye tokes a whiff of man sweat off it.
She's caught upon opening her eyes.
CYLE
C'mon.
JAYE
(shakes head no)
Who are you?
(19D) He continues to remove his t-shirt. Now bare-chested and arms

stretched out. CUE MUSIC:(refrain). Cue RAIN. People take
cover going under the uncut yellow ceremony ribbon. CLOSE-UP
SHOTS of water beads rolling down his body, cleaning off
dust/dirt.
JAYE
(after a beat)
You'll catch cold.
MAN HERO (CYLE)

Ah... (cherishes)
It's monsoonal.
Just the opposite.
(19E) SLOW-MOTION of Jaye putting out her hand to feel the rain,
then blinks. NORMAL SPEED she gets pulled in by the hand.
CRANE SHOT looking down at them spinning (dance-like), arms
stretched, worshiping rain. After a beat a THUNDER BOOM. They
stop and catch up with the rest of the fleeing crowd. The
marching band files back onto their bus. END MUSIC.
(20) INT. BLDG. – LOBBY - DAY
(20A) Tables of food in the background. People and parents with

their special children are checking out the venue.
KID CHARLIE
(passes by)
Charlie Charlie Charlie...
MAN HERO (CYLE)

(to parents)
The building's unique design
balances innovation and safety.
With 11 emergency exits and 5
kinds of alarms that speak in
both English and French.
PARENTS & JAYE

Exquisite. Amazing. Wow.
MAN HERO (CYLE)

Practically built this place
from the ground up. And doing it
with your two hands--it's magic.
PARENT
(to other parent)
Have you seen the murals?
PARENT
The rain forest? That was quite
the artist.
(20B) Some kids approach.
MAN HERO (CYLE)

That was nothing.
And the kids seem to like it.
(to kids)
Huh.
PARENTS & JAYE

(repeat amazement)
-You painted that?
-You're amazing.
-Who are you?
CYLE
I'm —
(20C) Enter a PRESS PHOTOGRAPHER.
PRESS PHOTOGRAPHER
A shot with the architect Beth?
Beth! Where is she?
(20D) Tight shot of Man Hero's "thinking" face while in the

background the podium stage lights go dark.
MAN HERO (CYLE)

(wry)
I have an idea.
(21) INT. BLDG. – HALLWAY "BETH IN CLOSET" - ( CONTINUOUS )
(21A) Man Hero/Cyle and Jaye approach a utility closet labeled

"Utility Closet R - Roof Access".
JAYE
Beth, your boss, hides in
utility closets.
Is she {adlib}?
MAN HERO (CYLE)

During openers, she tends to get
a little...
(pelvic thrust motion)
...celebratory.
JAYE
(huge grin)
Oh ho! Price-less shame.
Sharon's absolutely gonna cry
when she hears what tool her
significant other is nailing on
the job. Stand back. I need
this.
(21B) Jaye pulls the door wide open. Jaye make a hurling expression,
and Man Hero/Cyle with a lemon squirt in his eye look.
SHARON & BETH

OMG!
(21C) The girls slam the door. Jaye walks out of frame.
MAN HERO (CYLE)

(methodic)
What has been seen, can never be
unseen.
JAYE (O.S)
You think your okay with
something 'til you actually see
it.
MAN HERO (CYLE)

(knocks on the door)
Excuse me...
Sorry. Don't mean to intrude. In
the heat of it, one of you may
have inadvertently bumped a
circuit breaker cutting power to
the stage lobby.
JAYE (O.S.)
Eww, and she had hair!
MAN HERO (CYLE)

You'll find the switch on the
lower panel marked "Lobby".
(21D) Sound of a squeaky metal panel opening and a click.

Background mic squeal noise and crowd clapping.
DISTANT PODIUM MICROPHONE

Testing 1,2,3. There we go!
MAN HERO (CYLE)

Much obliged.
(22) INT. THE BARREL – DAY
AARON
(flirt with bad German accent)
So little German girl, how may
drinks will it take to get to
the center of this
Tootsie-Poppin.
MAHANDRA
(giggles)
Hold that thought.
(answers phone)
Hello, Barrel... Sorry you have

a wrong number. No we don’t make
barrels. We’re a bar...
(makes a face)
Bon soir. (hangs up)
AARON
What that French?
MAHANDRA
Pranks I guess. We’ve been
getting ‘em for the past couple
days. Surprised no one’s calling
us about our ad.
AARON
Wow. French, German. And my
parents say I don’t get enough
culture. Time for work.
Building, big tree, rain, speech, kids.
(24) INT. BLDG. – "I'M CYLE" – ( CONTINUOUS )
BETH
(to people)
Everything you can imagine
exceeding the needs of autistic
children. Every room has a
essentially a skylight, high
speed internet with video email
to keep 'em close with doctors
and family, a garage, and their
own subspace transporter.
(24A) Sharon passes by with several curious KIDS hanging on her.
KIDS
-Why are you so tall?
-Are you a giant?
-Is your hair on fire?
-Why do you smell like sex?
(24B) Enter Man Hero/Cyle holding two coffees.
MAN HERO (CYLE)

(to Jaye)
One strong, no milk, for...
MAN HERO (CYLE) (CONT'D)

(after a beat)
We never actually—
JAYE
Nope. (smiles)
No names. Just this.
MAN HERO (CYLE)

Hmm... Lucky me.
JAYE
Maybe.
MAN HERO (CYLE)

Hold that thought.
(24C) He walks out of frame. Enter Sharon.
SHARON
(to Jaye)
Jaye, you wouldn't happen to
have seen a giant yellow pair of
scissors?
(after a beat)
You're alone.
JAYE
You're worried?
SHARON
You're smiling.
JAYE
Ever smelled a construction
worker?
SHARON
And I don't see your babysitter?
Where's Cyle?
JAYE
Who cares.
Relax. Have a seat.
But not there...
I met someone.
Saved my life this morning.
SHARON
Oh... Then he saw your Medical
ID Alert bracelets – all five of
them.
JAYE
Why so serious?
SHARON
(shakes head no)
Dr. Ron's rules. You know them.
It's too soon. So find a flaw.
JAYE (CONT'D)
Can't. Nice, domesticated, and
has a job. Every smell a
construction worker?
(bites lip)
SHARON
They have shorter life spans.
JAYE
Not looking for permanent.
Did I mention he saved my life.
SHARON
Everyone has to save lives,
Jaye. The courts call it
Negligence.
JAYE
And, he has this Zen thing about
him that rubs off on you.
Watch, ask me anything.
SHARON
I’ll kick your ass.
(24D) CUE SOUND FX: Chinese flute with African rain stick.
JAYE
(methodical)
If my ass is destine to be
kicked, then it will be kicked.
MAN HERO (CYLE)

Here. Thought you may want
something a little more
interesting than a parking
flyer. Pardon me again, busy
day.
(24E) He gives Jaye a magazine. Then leaves again.
JAYE
(laughs)
(to Sharon)
And considerate.
(mouths silently to Sharon)
Cute!
SHARON
Him? That's your super hero?
(chuckle snorts)
JAYE
Up yours Blondie.
(24F) Enter Beth.

BETH
(to a passerby)
Thank you. Glad you like it.
(to Sharon)
This is great! Everyone's loves
the place. I assume the scissors
will turn up later.
SHARON
(to Beth)
Jaye just told me the funniest
thing.
BETH
(to Jaye)
You don't seem too miserable.
Giving this day another try?
JAYE
It has its moments.
SHARON
She just told me she didn't need
a babysitter anymore. But, oh!
Hey, your brother's here! Let's
introduce him anyway!
(to O.S.)
Cyle!!
(24G) Enter Man Hero/Cyle.
BETH
Jaye this is my brother, Cyle.
Cyle, this is Sharon’s sister,
Jaye.
SHARON
Bang!
(24H) Jaye’s happy face warps away.
MAN HERO (CYLE)

It’s Cyle -- with a “C”.
JAYE
(to Beth)
But you’re not Australian!?
BETH
He’s adopted.
SHARON
He's her brother. (inhales)
He's her designer, her
construction partner, and
co-architect and and and
her brother!
BETH
Practically helped built this
place from the ground up.
JAYE
Beth’s... brother?!
(24I) Enter the PRESS PHOTOGRAPHER.
PRESS PHOTOGRAPHER
Picture of the architects?
(24J) They turn for a pose. Cameras flash.
SHARON
And since Beth and I are almost
practically engaged, dating him
would be like dating your
brother. Smile everybody, this
is going in the paper!
(laughs)
JAYE
(grunts)
(25) EXT. HEALING TREE BLDG. – "ABANDON" - DAY/RAIN
(25A) A STAFFER is writing on a clipboard just under the eves. A car

pulls up. A brash WOMAN in big sunglasses and high heels steps
out of her hoopty car half-in-the-tank. She tosses a bottle
out. She goes to unbuckle a 5 year old LITTLE GIRL from the
front safety seat.
WOMAN
Let’s go. C’mon. C’mon!
(25B) She approaches the staffer.
WOMAN
This that autistic place?
STAFFER
This is Niagara General’s
Autistic Center.
WOMAN
Here.
(25C) The woman hands over the child and stumbles away.
STAFFER
Wait. You have to check her in.
Ma’am? Ma’am?!
(25D) The woman peels away in her car, tossing out the safety seat
and special helmet.
STAFFER
Ma’am, you cant just—
Hey!!
(26) INT. BLDG. – "MEET LG" - DAY/RAIN
(26A) Quiet. The crowd is elsewhere. A collaboration of staffers.
STAFFER
And then she just took off!
Took off!
STAFFER #2
Abandoned?
STAFFER
I assume.
CYLE
Did you see anyone else?
The father?
STAFFER #3
A description for the police.
STAFFER
(in shock/disgust)
There was no—
I didn’t see—
How can people do this?!
STAFFER ANGRY BLACK WOMAN

Lord, and to a child! {adlib}
STAFFER #4
(to girl)
Can you tell me your name?
CYLE
Honestly I don't think she'll
give you the name of the planet.
See? No eye contact, or a fear
of strangers.
(to girl)
Luv?
LITTLE GIRL
(silent)
JAYE
Then why is she staring straight
at me.
STAFFER
You do kind of look like the
mother. (lump in throat)
STAFFER #3
Maybe she’s mute.

Disposing a mute child?! {adlib}
It takes all kinds!
CYLE
Classic spectrum. This little
girl is absolutely unconcerned
with the outside world.
STAFFER #2
Because the mother knew she was
savant?
JAYE
Her eyes follow me wherever I
go.
STAFFER #4
And without a file or any info—
CYLE
...break thru is gonna be that
much harder.
JAYE
It’s like I'm watching the Mona
Lisa. Was the real Mona Lisa
savant? I bet she was.
(26B) A cold stare from Cyle.
STAFFER #3
Do we call the police?
STAFFER
Well I certainly don't want her
going to County. Not if you know
she’s autistic. She’ll bounce
thru the system for months. By
the time County figures it out
she’ll end back here with us.
CYLE
(stares at Jaye)
I bet we can pull a few strings
with the Courts. My sister knows
an attorney.
JAYE
(to Cyle)
(scoff)
Immigration.
CYLE
Attorneys know the law.
We're all family here.
JAYE
Not really.
CYLE
You have to do the right thing.
CYLE
Well, what if there’s some kind
of special-interest here?
JAYE
Oh, believe me. There’s no
interest whatsoever.
CYLE
Acceptations for, saving a life.
Rescuing someone's ass out of
the rain.
JAYE
Unless she’s a Chinese refugee
with a belly full of heroin,
I told you-- no!
CYLE
So there’s not the slightest bit
of interest... no hope
whatsoever--for this little
girl.
JAYE
No, Beth’s brother!

(to Jaye) (calm tone)
That’s Cyle.
His name is Cyle.
CYLE
Well then. I guess that settles
it... she stays!
STAFFER
(sotto to staffer)
Um. He's not the doctor. We make
the call.
STAFFER #5
That was a lover's quarrel.
Roll with the punches.
(26C) Cyle goes to a cupboard, pulls out a new stuffed koala for the
little girl.
CYLE
Mum likes says to make one feel
better... "I'll be your sun, you
be my sky, so your rain will
always have a bow, my lil'
Bugaby."
CYLE (CONT'D)
Here’s hoping you find your way
home Luv.
(26D) She gives the stuffed koala a hug, puts it to hear ear
(listening-like), then extends her arms out with it at Jaye.
LITTLE GIRL
Home!
(26E) Jaye SEES the stuffed koala BLINK. Staffers are surprised she
spoke. Jaye then falls backwards into some chairs, stumbling
out of the room taking a few more along the way.
(27) TRANSITIONAL SHOT:
Show windy rainy weather outside.
(28) INT. THE BARREL – "A PRANK CALL?" - DAY
(28A) In the background the Beer Feast is still proceeding on.

Mahandra’s answers the phone.
MAHANDRA
Hello, Barrel... Sorry what?
I, I don’t understand French.
I don’t – no habla François.
Do we what? This a prank?
No, we don’t make barrels, this
is a bar. We’re called
The Barrel, Le Barrel—
(28B) The power flickers.
MAHANDRA (CONT'D)
HELGA! You better not be
swinging from that pool table
light fixture!
(29) INT. BLDG. – "WATCH MY PURSE" – DAY/RAINY OUTSIDE
(29A) Repeating Charlie darts from window to window.
KID
Charlie Charlie Charlie...
(29B) Beth is giving the adults a tour. Jaye and Cyle are sitting
down nearby.
BETH
Here at the Healing Tree no
small detail has been
overlooked. Instead of wailing
fire alarms, they'll give out
instructions, and are programmed
in Canadian-French. The kids
already know the voice as
Virtual Pete from the learning
lab.
A PARENT
I like how its little pouch
holds their prescriptions.
SHARON
How adorable.
JAYE
I don't believe it.
CYLE
(to Jaye)
She's sincere.
JAYE
She's horny.
She only seems sincere.
BETH
The major himself even declared
this to be the first "alive"
building in all of Niagara
Falls. But don't tell the kids
that, I don't want to give 'em
that imagery.
SHARON
Remarkable isn't it.
JAYE
(sotto)
She’s actually getting turned
on.
BETH
Everything is modernized.
From UV filtered air-ducts to
critical system hardware
reinforced in a riser closet.
SHARON
Reinforced.
BETH
Absolutely. One of kind.
SHARON
I would love to see that.
BETH
I can give you a tour.
Let me find you a hardhat.
CYLE
(across the room to Beth)
Where you going? You have a
speech in 5 minutes.
BETH
(to Cyle)
Could you watch my purse for a
minute? Thanks bro!
SHARON
Jaye, watch mine too.
(29C) Like mall husbands, Jaye & Cyle hold purses.
JAYE
Told you.
(29D) Sharon trots back and whispers something into Cyle's ear.
JAYE
What?
CYLE
Something about your
psychiatrist and the
tranquillizers are in her purse.
JAYE
(psychotic-like slow head turn)
Too bad I have the purse.
(30) SHOT: Show EXT. BLDG. and rainy weather.
(31) INT. HALLWAY - DAY
(31A) Show previous utility closet sign "Roof Access". Enter Beth &
Sharon in rambunctious embrace.
SHARON
Wait! Not here. They caught
us once.
BETH
I know a place they'll never
find us.
(31B) The girls leave the door ajar.
O.S. VOICE
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie...
END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO
(32) INT. HALLWAY - 1/2 – DAY/THUNDER OUTSIDE
(32A) Jaye looses her money in a vending machine and gets punchy.
CYLE
(to Little Girl)
Don't be afraid... (pause)
(32B) Cyle's pause makes Jaye think for a second she scares Little
Girl.
CYLE (CONT'D)
That's just thunder. When it
rains angels like to bowl.
(thunder)
Oh, big strike!
(32C) Little Girl runs to a window.
LITTLE GIRL
Water.
JAYE
If she's so smart why the lies?
And stop following me.
(32D) Vending machine gives Jaye Skittles.
CYLE
Teacher her weather. She'll take
it like a sponge. Otherwise, I'm
babysitting for Beth and Sharon.
JAYE
You don't have to listen to
everything Beth and Sharon say.
They're stupid. Stupid lesbians.
Stupid machine. Stupid
everything.
(little girl approaches)
What?!
CYLE
She wants your Skittles.
CYLE
By the way, she just tricked
you. Skittles was just the
ice-breaker. If she could talk,
my guess is she has questions
about you.
JAYE
A lesson kid: life is like a
broken vending machine-- you
never get you pay for.
CYLE
You're down.
JAYE
You're not a doctor.
CYLE
(sing-like)
"I'll be your sky, if you'll..."
JAYE
I am NOT "your sun". For all you
know "I'm the dark side of the
moon". Don't think for a second
you know who "I am".
CYLE
"... Bugaboo, Bugaby".
Funny the way friends meet.
LITTLE GIRL
Water. (amazed)
(32E) Little Girl's interest turns to some water dripping in the

drinking fountain, walks out of frame over to it.
CYLE
If we really knew what was going
to happen, the world would have
a lot less failures.
JAYE
So Beth's brother, no friends,
no sunny bright blue eyes, and
no six-toed mullet pigmy
procreation. Got it?
(32F) The Little Girl climbs the fountain. Jaye pulls her down. A
CLOSED CIRCUIT SECURITY GUARD is seeing this on his monitor.
CYLE
(methodical)
"Don't get owly if your being
blown sunny bubbles.
It's all cold potatoes in the
end."
JAYE (ON TV)

And back off on the Zen hippy
thing!!
JAYE
My ass sits and watched every
Kung Fu movie ever made!
(32G) CUE MUSIC: a slumbery clarinet solo.

Slowly the Little Girl moves in to give Jaye a hug.
CYLE
(to Little Girl)
You're so right.
Someone do needs a hug.
JAYE
No. Don't you dare.
(32H) Slowly Cyle moves in to hug Jaye. Essentially trapping her.
CYLE
Poor jaded Jaye.
JAYE
You people know nothing about
me! Nothing about—
(32I) She pauses to smell Cyle's shirt.

JAYE (CONT'D)
...mmmmm, me.
(32J) Breaking loose, Jaye points her finger. Cyle sees her Medical
ID bracelets dangle. She points with her other hand.
JAYE (CONT'D)
Nothing!
(33) EXT. HEALING TREE BLDG. – DAY/RAIN
(33A) 2 STAFFERS exit their car and walk to the entry. One is
carrying a large novel pair of yellow scissors.
STAFFER - MAN
(as foot sinks in muddy soil)
They couldn’t have picked a
better day?
(33B) Objects fall from the sky.
STAFFER - WOMAN
Oh! Where did that come from?
(33C) Staffer-Man looks up, he’s bombed by a hot cup of coffee from
above.
STAFFER - MAN
Aggghhhhhh! Hot!!
(34) INT. THE BARREL - DAY
(34A) Mahandra is double-duty busy with the festival and tending.
MAHANDRA
You want the Wiessbier, you want
Zwickelbier, and you wanted
Kellerbier...
(to Helper)
Tell ‘em to check it again.
HELPER EMPLOYEE
(on phone)
You have the wrong number. We're
a bar in Niagara. We don’t make
barrels...
MAHANDRA
(approached lumberjack)
Can I help you?
LUMBERJACK
Is this the right place?
MAHANDRA
Depends. Whaddya want?
LUMBERJACK
Looking for work.
MAHANDRA
Finally. A response to my ad!
I was beginning to think people
don’t read classifieds anymore.
Ok, do you have experience?
(34B) He shows his hands don't have all its fingers.
LUMBERJACK
Not a full deck, but can carry
400 lbs and still good with an
axe.
(35) INT. BLDG. – HALLWAY 2/2 - DAY/THUNDER OUTSIDE
(35A) CUE MUSIC: mystical. The CC Security Guard is intensely

watching his monitor. He zooms onto the Little Girl who
appears to be staring straight back at him. Little Girl is
watching water drip off the a CC camera lens down into the
drinking fountain below. She catches a single drip of water.
(35B) FLY-THRU VIDEO follows the drips of water to its source. From
landing into the fountain, off the lens, trailing off a pipe
coming out the ceiling, way up into the attic, off a wet tree
branch that's poking through a crack in the roof.
END FLY-THRU on a pan up further onto the roof to show... a
little boy. CUT TO Hallway.
LITTLE GIRL
Charlie!
(35C) Little Girl has summited the drinking fountain. And LEAPS into
the air. The CC Guard runs out of his room. Jaye catches her
in mid-air. Enter running, CC Guard plus 3 others.
(35D) Enter Sharon.

SHARON
(to Jaye)
Jaye. We’ve got yellow scissors
and the rain’s let up. I want
you to start getting people back
outside for the ribbon cutting.
JAYE
Um...
PASSERBY
Pardon me.
(35E) Show more people herding out.
SHARON
How did you do that?
(35F) Enter a staffer.
STAFFER
Hey! We have a boy on the roof
wandering near the edge!
LITTLE GIRL
Charlie!
(35G) They exit en masse. Cyle haltes Jaye. Brings attention to the
utility closet door ajar and a stuffed koala on the floor.
It's labeled "Utility Closet R - Roof Access".
CYLE JAYE
Bloody Beth! Damn Sharon!
JAYE
Nothing ever good comes from
burning loins!
(35H) Cyle looks at the prescription bottle tucked into the stuffed
koala.
CYLE
"Charlie N. Linus".
Linus without his blanket.
(36) EXT. GOLF COURSE – “ERNESTO UNDER PAR” – DAY/WINDY
GOLFER
Fore!!
(36A) A doctors buddy foursome. The 6th hole. Winds are picking up.
ERNESTO
Now playing backwind. "Buddy"
Ernesto aims for the Fourth.
DARRIN
This is the sixth. You're going
to hit the preschool!
BUDDY #1
He’s 18 under par. He’s our
worst and he’s already beaten
your best score.
BUDDY #2
It’s like the bad weather is
actually helping him.
ERNESTO
Oh yeah, me and Mother Nature
have a thang goin’ on.
Wait, where’s the green?
(turns the opposite way)
Fore!!
BUDDY #1
Darr., it's noon. You said to
remind you to call-
DARRIN
My daughters. Yes. Thank you.
Cracker Jacks! I must've left my
phone at the hospital. May I
barrow your phone?
BUDDY #1
Don't carry it. The wife made it
absolutely clear that's how my
sperm count goes up.
ERNESTO
T.M.I.
BUDDY #1
Frankly I think it's the sound
of her voice.
(laughs with other buddies)
Shit., give him your fancy
phone.
BUDDY #2
Shitomi phone connected only to
Japan.
(36B) Ball flies. Winds pick up. Confidant Ernesto doesn’t even
watch it land.
ERNESTO
You can use mine.
But I want to hear it first.
EVERYONE
[ general disagreement ]
DARRIN
(after a beat)
Remind me to use the clubhouse
payphone after this hole.
(36C) The ball lands on the green... and rolls...
ERNESTO
For all those times you guys
said, my wasted green fees
should go to feed my children...
And, the times you’ve tossed my
robe in the ladies locker when I
was taking a steam. And bet I
wouldn’t punch that John Denver
look-a-like, when it really was
John Denver.
(36D) ...and rolls... to a hole-in-one.
DARRIN & BUDDIES

Son of a-! Hole-in-One?
That’s his fourth one!
How’s he doing this?!?
ERNESTO (CONT'D)
Let’s say it mamma...
(thunder)
BOOM baby!
(36E) We see ALEX TREBEK wait impatiently behind the group waiting
to tee off.
ALEX TREBEK
Would you mind, hurrying?
I don't like standing here all
day.
(37) INT. THE BARREL – DAY
LUMBERJACKS
(speaking French)
MAHANDRA
W-W-W-Wait. One at a...
One of you'll need to say it in
English for this to work.
LUMBERJACKS
Work! Work. Work!...
HELPER EMPLOYEE
(to Mahandra)
An Aaron is on the phone asking
if you have any Klondike
ice-cream and frozen Snickers
bars?
MAHANDRA
That's Jaye's PMS ice-cream.
HELPER EMPLOYEE
And what's with the...
MAHANDRA
I don't know. But something is
wrong here in Mahandra's
neighborhood.
(38) INT./EXT. BLDG. – HEALING TREE & TV SHOT - DAY/WINDY+THUNDER
(38A) Inside the children are watching Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood.
TV
"And what a wonderful spot to
plant this new tree. As it grows
it will give shade and a place
to read a book." "Oh, not too
much water. The tree will never
stay up if the soil is too
inundated." "Inundated. I see."
CHILDREN
Inundated.
(38B) In the background we see the crowd outside pointing and

looking up. Paper, bricks, a vent cap, are falling. The crowd
gasps when large objects fall. Mud splashes on the windows.
CROWD
(gasps)
BETH
(pulls her foot off the grass)
New grass isn’t suppose to be
soggy like this.
(39) ROOFTOP – DAY/WINDY+THUNDER ( CONTINUOUS )
LITTLE GIRL KID CHARLIE

Inundated. (slowly) Inundated. (slowly)
V.O. MISTER RODGERS

"And like an old friend this
tree will be around for years to
come. I think I'll name it,
Charlie!"
STAFFER
Charlie!
CYLE
Charlie! It's no good. His focus
is somewhere else far and away.
(39A) Loud cracking thunder.
JAYE
This is not safe. You shouldn't
be up here.
(sotto to self)
CSI eerie, yet familiar. *
(* = inside joke, relates to my 1x12 finale)
(39B) The boy watches the giant tree bend in the wind. He continues
to toss stuff over the edge.
STAFFER
We need to get his attention.
JAYE
How?
(40) INT. BLDG. – TV SHOT 2 – ( CONTINUOUS )
TV
"And with my new friend here the
garden becomes a special place.
I love to sing in the garden. Do
you sing in the garden?"
"Most especially. I'm from old
Nova Scotia and there's a ol'
tune goes a little something
like-"
(41) ROOFTOP – ( CONTINUOUS )
STAFFERS
(singing a-capella)
"The Love Shack is a little old
place where we can get together.
Love Shack baby..."
JAYE
The glee club on a roof of a
hospital.
CYLE
Stimuli.
JAYE
Wrong.
On the golf course disappointed Darrin putts into a water

hazard. At the Barrel, ruckus, more lumberjacks walk in and
that busty waiter flashes her tits.
(43) ROOFTOP – DAY/RAINY+THUNDER
CYLE
Someone needs to get his bear
out to him.
(43A) Cyle hands the stuffed koala toy to Jaye.
JAYE
Oh. Okay. And plan-B?
CYLE
Just say, "Allo Charlie. How's
it goin' mate?" in your best
koala voice.
JAYE
Like some helium huffin’ smurf
and lapse 3 weeks in my therapy?
CYLE
Just get him to turn his head.
JAYE
You don't send in a negotiator
with the shotgun.
(43B) Jaye sees it blink and throws it. The Little Girl goes out in
the rain to get it, picks it up, and with 2 bears walks over
to the kid by the edge.
STAFFERS
Ahh! Liability!!
CYLE
(holds them back)
No, wait!... Look.
LITTLE GIRL
Water.
KID CHARLIE
Water water water.
(43C) Both kids lean and look over the edge. The crowd gasps below.
The Little Girl gives the second bear.
KID CHARLIE
Charlie!
LITTLE GIRL
(frilly noises)
KID CHARLIE
(frilly noises)
JAYE
Are you people seeing this?
We tripin' on the same thing??
(43D) Jaye sees both koalas animate, with both kids mimicking the
same frilly noises. The kids put the bears up to their ears
(listening-like), swap koalas couple times. Kid Charlie
instantly comprehends and backs away from the edge. Crowd
applauds below.
CYLE
(pats Jaye on the back)
Way to go Tyler.
JAYE
(stunned)
STAFFER
Where did you say you found her
ass?
CYLE
Ass in question was hanging out
a car window.
(43E) Everyone goes back inside except Jaye. Face still frozen
looking out. Little Girl tugs on Jaye, hold out hand waiting
for Skittles.
JAYE
Skittles.
(44A) A CRANE SHOT showing height of the tree. It towers over the
Healing Tree Building. Show the wind tugging at power lines.
Show the rain liquefying away landscape woodchips and soil.
Show tree roots pushing to the surface. A sprinkler head pops
loose. A large branch snaps loose and comes down behind
someone walking by.
(44B) Since this is a hospital, the pedestrian has a prosthetic leg

and looses it in the mud. He hops back to pull it out and the
branch falls where he was just standing.
PASSERBY
Holy Sh-
(45) EXT. GOLF COURSE – “LIGHTENING HITS...” – DAY ( CONTINUOUS )
ERNESTO
Shitomi goes next.
BUDDY #1
No, it’s Alejandro's.
ERNESTO
No. Dr. Shitomi goes next
because Alex Trebek skipped to
the next hole and Shitomi was
last up before he cut-in.
DARRIN
Would you guys please be quiet!
I’m trying to concentrate.
ERNESTO
Darrin, I don’t think you’ll
make par on this one.
BUDDY #1
The weather looks nasty.
ERNESTO
Maybe we should go inside?
DARRIN
Gentlemen, please.
(to self)
Seven holes-in-one. I never
heard of such a thing. And from
the podiatrist who placed last
in the tournament against St.
Mary’s Children’s Hospital’s
children.
BUDDY #2
Weren’t those kids in
wheelchairs?
ERNESTO
Shut-up is what you’re gonna do.
(45A) Darrin hits the ball on a perfect flight.
DARRIN
Yeah!
BUDDY #1
The wind’s got your ball.
DARRIN
It’s still good!
BUDDY #2
It’s starting to rain.
DARRIN
Wait for it.
ERNESTO
(hears distant rumbling)
We better go inside you guys.
DARRIN
Wait for it!
(45B) The ball makes a textbook landing on the green.
BUDDIES
Awe.
ERNESTO
Landed right on the green.
Oh well, better luck next time.
DARRIN
You yaks! That’s what you’re
suppose to do. Hello?! I don’t
know what hippy croquet you
think we're playing. We’re on a
golf course gentleman. Remember
golf?? That was backwind--not
nature guiding your ball to
destiny! And that was NOT a
lucky beaver. It thought it saw
an egg, chocked your ball and
managed to spit it TOWARDS the
hole.
(45C) Sounds of thunder rumbling.
DARRIN (CONT'D)
Regardless of how f-(beep)
amazing that was...
GENTLEMEN THIS IS GOLF!...
The object of THIS game is
TRYING to get THAT ball into...
THAT HOLE!!
(points to hole)
(45D) A lightning bolt blows up his ball on the green.
DARRIN
(calmer)
You’re right. Let’s go inside.
O.S. VOICE
OMG! Alex Trebek got hit by
lightening!
(46) INT. BLDG. – DAY
(46A) The children have gathered sitting directly behind Jaye. They
talk in low chatter amongst themselves. After a few seconds of
creeping Jaye out, Jaye gets up and goes over to Sharon.
ALL KIDS
(repeated)
Inundation. (whisper-like)
JAYE
(to Sharon)
Alright building’s open.
Let’s go home.
SHARON
What are you talking about?
We still have a full day.
Have cake.
JAYE
(to Sharon)
No cake! We’re calling Dr. Ron,
we’re going home, I’m taking a
red and a blue pill, wait for
him in the morning, and and
(voice breaking)
get back my 3 weeks.
BETH
What’s the matter?
Not feeling well?
JAYE
There! See? Let's go.
SHARON
Anxiety. This is her first real
people experience Jaye’s had
outside of Pych.
(to Jaye)
No, no. This is good! Dr. Ron

said small, small groups of
people. Jaye, I’m proud of you.
JAYE
(to Sharon)
How much oxygen were you
deprived in that closet?
(46B) Jaye makes a split-second look at Beth.
CYLE
(to Jaye)
You want to ask her? Go ahead.
She'll know about that thing.
JAYE
No. Nothing.
SHARON
Thing?
BETH
What thing?
JAYE
Heck you say!
CYLE
On the roof.
Well, from what I saw—
JAYE
(to Sharon)
C’mon let’s go home. The day’ll
disappear faster if I substitute
half a red for half a blue.
SHARON
Jaye, hey, this is what an
opportunity looks like. Dr. Ron
said "Help yourself now"? That’s
how people get better? You know
we’re not allowed to carry those
pills outside the house. And the
tranquillizer he me is for
emergencies. It’s a needle. And
you know where it has to go.
JAYE
You wouldn't.
SHARON (CONT'D)
And she’s standing right here.
What more do you need?
BETH
Yes?
JAYE
(stuttered)
I, think, you should...
have cake?
LITTLE GIRL
(blows raspberries)
(46C) In the background, sounds of indigent children's

disappointment (buzzer, blow raspberries, barking, etc).
BETH
Is it something I did?
Something I said?
Is it about the building?
What happened on the roof?
CYLE
Well, from what I saw—
JAYE
Shut up!
(to kids)
No candy!
SHARON
Jaye! Cyle, tell me what
happened on that roof.
JAYE
You're forgetting what Dr. Ron
said--respect the patient. So
respect my patience.
SHARON
Fine. You want to crawl under
the covers for another six
months - be my guest! Dr. Ron
will finally give you that sixth
bracelet. In time you'll be like
Mr. T! Just remember, drugs
won't solve everything.
JAYE
Then Viagra wouldn't be funny.
(46D) Little Girl tugs on Jaye.
LITTLE GIRL
(whisper-like)
Inundated.
JAYE
Go away. No Skittles. Nothing's
inundated.
CYLE
That's not what Skittles meant.
BETH
What's inundated?
SHARON
Cyle, tell me--doctor's orders.
CYLE JAYE
Inundated. The koalas.
The koalas?? Inundated.
JAYE
Inundated! There I said it.
BETH
You just asked me if the
building is underwater?
SHARON
Jaye! You’re insulting the
architect. That’s crazy.
CYLE
Crazy how, if I might add?
SHARON
(to Cyle)
Sweetie, family matters.
Add not.
CYLE
You’re dating my sister. Adding.
Jaye?
SHARON
What?! Wait. Why-why that again.
Seriously? What is it about
lesbians that scares you Cyle?
CYLE
Don't swing dead cats around
again Sharon. I'm talking about
if you're going to be family,
family isn't something you nilly
change like some Facebook
status.
SHARON
It's not my fault she still
doesn't know who you are after
two years. Jaye never comes out
of her bedroom.
CYLE
I—
BETH
Wait! Just wait. Hold on! This
was about Jaye. Jaye wanting to
ask me something... remember?
Jaye?
(46E) They turn to find no Jaye, just the children staring.
(47) INT. BATHROOM
(47A) Jaye kicks out a man from the restroom, still holding onto a
long uncut paper towel roll.
(47B) The door slowly closes in the background. At the sink Jaye
pats water on her face.
JAYE
Fight back Jaye!... Pathetic.
(47C) In the mirror CAMERA pans reveals Little Girl standing behind
the door, in mirror.
(48) EXT. BATHROOM
JAYE
(muffled scream)
(49) INT. BLDG. – ( CONTINUOUS )
(49A) Cyle, Sharon, and Beth adlib their argument plus normal lobby
background noise interrupted when...
ALL KIDS
(short simultaneous scream)
(49B) Then ramps back up normal conversational volume.
(50) INT. BATHROOM
(50A) The Little Girl has her koala up to her face.
JAYE
You startled me.
LITTLE GIRL
(mirrored fragments)
Me.
JAYE
You follow me because I look
like her, your Mom?
LITTLE GIRL
Mom.
JAYE
I'm not Mom Skittles--not even
related. Come here.
(sees the koala)
Stay there.
(50B) From Jaye's pocket, cautiously hands the Little Girl money.
JAYE
Here. Now you can buy all the
Skittles you want and don't have
to follow me anymore.
LITTLE GIRL
(silent)
JAYE
Okay, 2 dollars.
Trust me kid, I'm not who you
think I am.
LITTLE GIRL
I'm, you.
JAYE
Oh. No no--listen.
LITTLE GIRL
No, no.
JAYE
No. You don't understand.
LITTLE GIRL
You understaaaaand.
JAYE
Listen.
It's just, you have that.
(taps her toy koala)
And I, have these.

(shows Medical Alert bracelets)
LITTLE GIRL
Fluffy!
JAYE
Right. And for that we can never
hangout together or be friends—
ever. Understand?
(50C) Little Girl rubs the stuffed koala in Jaye's face.
LITTLE GIRL
(high pitch frilly noise)
Brrriiiiirrrrr...
JAYE
(muffled gasp)
(51) EXT. BATHROOM
(51A) A Staffer approaches the bathroom door with the guy who was
kicked out. Jaye, while exiting, yells back inside.
JAYE
It's over! So go stuff your
fluffy in someone else's face
from now on!
STAFFER
Is there a problem here?
JAYE
No.
(walks away)
(52) INT. CAFETERIA - DAY/RAINY OUTSIDE
(52A) The children are darting between 2 windows. As Jaye picks up a

cup of Jell-O she spots a magnetic letter board reads "forest
home safe" up and down the menu. Does a double-take and it
reads like a normal menu again.
JAYE
(to self)
This place has “relapse” written
all over it...
(52B) Jaye goes over to Sharon. She eyeballs a large animal mural
wallpaper that is STILL.
JAYE (CONT'D)
Gimme your phone.
I calling Dad to pick me up.
SHARON
He'll still be golfing for
another hour.
JAYE
Let me worry about that.
SHARON
Well it's in the car, charging.
Beth's car. Not my car.
My car doesn't have a door.
JAYE
Then can I barrow the keys?
SHARON
(fishes thru her purse)
I do have her copy...
But then there's the risk of you
getting behind the wheel, and
driving off.
(52C) Fished out of her purse Sharon hesitates to give up what's in

her hand to Jaye.
JAYE
I promise.
SHARON
There's a perfectly good
payphone over there.
You know you didn't have to ask
me. Cyle and Beth have keys.
JAYE
Cyle and I aren't exactly...
SHARON
Ah. Heard. Poor guy. Even for a
Zen, you really let him have it.
JAYE
I made the man hug me.
SHARON
You should apologize.
He wouldn't hurt a fly.
He collects Beanie Babies.
JAYE
Can I have the keys?
SHARON
Poor guy is sitting alone in the
little boys room de-installing a
condom machine, with a head-full
of your earwigs.
JAYE
Keys?
SHARON
What if he were to become Pope?
Ever thought of that?
JAYE
The keys?
SHARON
Not playing with the children.
Not having cake.
Just working in a bathroom—
JAYE
Guilt accomplished. Next time
don't dye your hair blonde--it
messes-up the stereotype.
Where?
SHARON
Hallway.
(52D) Sharon give up what's in her hand to Jaye.
(53) INT. BATHROOM
(53A) Enter Jaye.

JAYE
There you are. Sharon told me
you'd be in here.
CYLE
Aye. Just removing a practical
joke.
JAYE
Condoms. (rhetorical snort)
You've worked hard enough today.
You deserve a break. Some fresh
air? Let's you and I step away
for a minute. Perhaps go for a
little drive—
CYLE
Oh, Jaye...
I'm not that kind of person.
(53B) Jaye sees she's presenting a handful of coins (in front of the
condom machine) instead of the car keys. Her jaw drops.
CYLE (CONT'D)
My personal rule is no
hanky-panky 'till we have at
least had a third date.
(53C) Jaye storms out.

(54) INT. CAFETERIA - ( CONTINUOUS )
(54A) Enter Jaye passing happy Sharon eating her sandwich.
SHARON
Payphone is over there.
We'll leave it a little bit.
Have a sandwich.
JAYE (O.S.)
Choke it!
(54B) Jaye reaches the phone with a newer angry face. Pan to reveal
an "out of order" sign.
(55) EXT. GOLF COURSE - DAY/RAINING
DARRIN
Weathergirl said it was going to
be fair.
BUDDY #1
Their goes the flag on the 15th
hole.
ERNESTO
It’s a shame. Makes you think
what kinda score I would’ve
gotten if I played all 19 holes.
CLUBHOUSE STAFFER
Arcade room is open.
EVERYONE
Yay!
(56) INT. WONDERFALLS GIFT STORE - DAY/STORMY
(56A) Enter HELPER WAITRESS from the Barrel dropping a delivery to

Aaron. The MOUTHBREATHER and AARON are at cash registers.
HELPER WAITRESS
Your sandwich and your
ice-cream. Jaye's PMS ice-cream?
MOUTHBREATHER
Jaye's... what?
AARON
Triple fudge gold Klondike with
mint. The gold is the sugary
coated peanuts.
MOUTHBREATHER
You're sneaking in rum.
I'm gonna have to taste it.
(56B) With a hidden smile, Mouthbreather rushes the bag away while
Aaron pays for the delivery.
HELPER WAITRESS
(blank stare)
AARON
I like peanuts.
I do.
HELPER WAITRESS
He's eating all of it.
(57) INT. CAFETERIA - DAY/RAINY OUTSIDE
(57A) Cyle sits down with his tray at a table across from Jaye. Her
hoodie pulled up, arms folded, and regresses like a cat laying
behind its tail. Behind Cyle Jaye tries not to look at the
wallpaper mural of the Australian Bush (inanimate/still). The
Little Girl approaches Cyle and stares him eye-to-eye,
silently. Cyle appears/attempts to "read" her.
CYLE
They could offer us so much from
their world perspective. Their
understanding "why" or "how"
they simply see it as "is" and
"are". Anything else would be
madness.
(57B) Cyle presents a cookie. Little Girl bites it and takes off.
CYLE (CONT'D)
It's simpler that way.
(57C) Little Girl sits and finishes her cookie next to Jaye.
CYLE (CONT'D)
That boy's conversation with
that Ficus shouldn't be
detrimental, but a fringe art in
knowing about that plant.
(57D) Across the room the mother scolds the boy for pouring coffee
in the plant.
CYLE
Acidic. Fascinating.
JAYE
I'm guessing you had a lot of
imaginary friends growing-up.
(57E) As Cyle talks to Jaye he's trading funny facial expressions

with the Little Girl across the table.
CYLE
No.
JAYE
Drugs?
CYLE
No.
JAYE
Virgin. That makes sense. Their
isolated ways can only be
classified as their own.
It's really a handicap.
CYLE
Einstein didn't have sex until
his late 30's. Are you asking if
I'm mad?
(57F) The koalas have now disappeared from the mural.

JAYE
Retarded. Zen hippy.
CYLE
Retards don't pass the AIA board
with a 6 year degree in Land
Engineering. They don't give
those licenses to just anyone.
(57G) Jaye looks at the wallpaper. The koalas have all huddled in
the mural behind a patch of leaves in a tree, just above
Cyle's head. They blink and make frilly noises.
CYLE
If you want to go home, just ask
me. I'll take you.
JAYE
Really?
CYLE
Though if you leave now Skittles
will think she's abandoned
again.
KOALA WALLPAPER
(frilly noises)
LITTLE GIRL
(giggles)
CYLE
Shall I just tell her you're
dead? Quick, like a bandage.
(57H) Jaye draws tightly the strings on her hoodie sweater with only
her nose and chin showing. Cyle trades more funny face with
Little Girl.
LITTLE GIRL
(giggles)(frilly noise)
(57I) Jaye's cocks back her head. Glances at the girl's stuffed toy.
Bites her lip. Gets up to dash out of frame. O.S. sounds of
Jaye crashing into a person, destroying his/her food tray.
(57J) SHOT from across the table Cyle watches a severed ice cream
cone plop on the table.
STAFFER
Watch where y'er goin' there,
Kenny.
(pulls up Jaye's hoodie)
(58) INT. WONDERFALLS GIFT STORE – DAY/STORMY
AARON
(answers phone)
Wonderfalls Gift Emporium.
(58A) INTERCUT WITH...

INT. THE BARREL - DAY/STORMY
MAHANDRA
You dumbass!
AARON
Jaye?
(to Mouthbreather)
Private call.
(58B) Mouthbreather starts his watch timer.
MAHANDRA
You put my ad in The Big Wood
Bystander! Two days ago you said
you’d put it in the local paper!
AARON
It’s a local paper. You have it
around the corner, next to that
canary shop. It's half French
half English. If you’re lucky,
you’ll attract one for both.
MAHANDRA
You put my ad in a Canadian
Logging paper! That's why it's
in French. This paper serves
Greater Quebec!
LUMBERJACK
And Yellowknife. Is this a bar?
AARON
How do know?
MAHANDRA
Paul Bunyan here told me. He has
your ad circled twice.
AARON
Wow, a two-circler. I'd thought
that wording-saving was cleaver.
MAHANDRA
And you failed to mention this
was a food service position?!
Hello? Did you get that?
AARON
Don't worry. I’ll fix it.
Mahandra? Hello?
(58C) The lights and phones go dead at both ends.

Meanwhile across the bar...
LUMBERJACK
Hooks, hacksaw, circular and
band saw. Any table machine
really –- up to a 30 blade.
HELPER EMPLOYEE
(to Mahandra)
Mah, are you hiring a butcher?
MAHANDRA
He’s a Lumberjack!
HELPER EMPLOYEE
You’re not really a Lumberjack?
MAHANDRA
Sir, do you have all your
appendages?
LUMBERJACK
All, except Willy.
Clean off by a chainsaw.

Nearly missed my balls.
MAHANDRA
Stop.
LUMBERJACK
(whimsical)
And if you think that stops the
Misses from fu-
MAHANDRA
STOOOOOOP!
They curse worse than sailors.
(58D) Her cell phone rings. She answers.
MAHANDRA (CONT'D)
You better fix it. And put it in
a proper paper! Or you’ll never
see me naked again!
LUMBERJACK
Can I?
(58E) Mahandra scares off Lumberjack by making chainsaw noises.
(59A) Show the giant has fallen onto the front of the Healing Tree
building and main Lobby. Major power lines have been snagged.
Show a blackout at the golf course clubhouse. The Wonderfalls
gift store has no power. The Barrel bar has no power, and/or
music.
(59B) From the outside, show kids at the Healing Tree bldg. looking
out a window. They're watching dangling power lines
electrifying a water puddle. FLY-THRU video follows the
conductivity path to more water puddles near the rear of the
bldg. Show a squirrel drops a nut nearby an electrified
puddle. It hops down to retrieve it and is instantly
disintegrated in a flash of smoke. Show all the children
screaming in the window.
END OF ACT 2
ACT 3
(60) INT. BLDG.
(60A) The power is out. The crowd is edgy.
STAFFER
Settle down people, everyone
stay calm. It’s just a little
storm outage. The lights will
come on shortly.
(to Beth & Cyle)
Why aren't the lights coming on?
What happened to the generators?
CYLE
Tested fine yesterday.
BETH
Maybe a circuit tripped.
SHARON
“Circuit”? That isn’t the same
as a “circuit breaker”?
BETH
Yes. Why?
SHARON
Remember that excursion to the
supply closet? Well, it was so
small, I may have bumped into
one of the panels...
BETH
Normally, that won’t do
anything.
SHARON (CONT'D)
...with my heel.
JAYE
Eww. Gross.
CYLE
(to Beth)
Alright Bethelen Minora
Buchinsky, which closet am I
going looking in?
BETH
Roof Access closet. The riser
closet. Or, the supply closet.
SHARON
(forced humor)
Riser? Is that why they call it
a "riser" closet? Get it? Rise–
BETH
(flicks Sharon on the shoulder)
No.
JAYE
This is how you punish.
(slaps Sharon in the face)
No!
(60B) Enter worried Staffers.
STAFFER
Is everyone here all right?
BETH
Yes. Why?
(60C) Staffer whispers something to Beth. Commotion among the

Staffers. Some run out of the room.
SHARON
For such a large facility, that
was a very small closet.
JAYE
(reprimanding Sharon)
How many times have I said,
“nothing good comes from burning
loins”!
(60D) Beth whispers something to Cyle.
CYLE (CONT'D)
What? Gather everyone into the
hallway and prepare the children
to do a fire drill.
JAYE
What? What's wrong?
STAFFER
Alright people...
(61) INT. THE BARREL – DAY/STORMY OUTSIDE
(61A) The power is out. Mahandra directs the beer fest loggers out.
MAHANDRA
Alright people... single file...
Folks? Sorry, but without power
we can’t run the taps. You can
stay for the food, but if you’re
still thirsty, we have all the
water you can drink—
(cut off by moans)
PATRON
How about anything in a bottle?
MAHANDRA
I can mix you a Pink Squirrel,
but the blender is out.
PATRON
Pink whaa? Ah ferget it.
(leaves)
HELPER EMPLOYEE
(to Mahandra)
You don’t need power to run the
taps-
MAHANDRA
Shh! La la la.
The math, do the math...
100 thirsty Germans, the
register is down, can you do
long division entirely by hand?
Do the math.
HELPER EMPLOYEE
So now what?
MAHANDRA
Start von clean up.
(61B) Mahandra grabs a bus tray. And pulls out a lacy thong panty
from a beer bottle.
MAHANDRA (CONT'D)
And fire Helga.
(62) INT. GOLF CLUBHOUSE - DAY/STORMY OUTSIDE
DARRIN
In the dark, with a room full of
men, and this is the best we can
come up with?
ERNESTO
Trebek! You cut me off on the
course. I want recompense!
(62A) An arm wrestling.
ALEX TREBEK
I've beaten everyone so far.
Let's settle this.
ERNESTO
I was born with, um, carpal
tunnel. So I choose my opponent-
Doctor Hyeondo Shitomi.
(62B) Shitomi rips off his shirt in a flash of thunder.

ERNESTO
Don't blink. He can take the
meat out of a sausage without
touching the skin.
(63) EXT. BLDG. – DAY/STORMY
Show black smoke rising from the top of the roof where the
tree has crushed the building. Show the front/lobby is
crushed/blocked.
(64) INT. HALLWAY - DARK
STAFFER
(to Beth)
We can't use these 3 fire exits.
Parts of the fallen tree are
still blocking the door.
SOMEBODY
What's she talking about?
Why can't we go thru the front?
BETH
Apparently the storm knocked a
few branches down. A window
broke. There's glass. So...
Let's just keep moving toward
the building's rear entrance.
Okay?
(64A) CUT to show a couple of Staffers putting out spot fires in the
destroyed Lobby.
STAFFER
Can't you smell smoke?
BETH
Um, no. A cigarette?

Hey! No smoking! God help if I
find whoever you are!
STAFFER
Indoor voices please. We don't
want to upset the children. If
we all could calmly keep moving
the direction we were going, we
can all find our way out.
(64B) Jaye is noticing some kids’ koalas animating. She’s confined

and can only make an unpleasant face.
ANIMATED KOALAS
Forest home safe.
BETH
Cyle, we need light.
CYLE
I installed a solar-powered
fiber-optic thingy? But it was
suppose to be a surprise.
BETH
Now!
CYLE
Children make a path.
(to Jaye)
Jaye, where’s your kid?
JAYE
Wha-?!
CYLE
Where is Skittles?
(64C) Jaye sees every child's toy koala animating.
JAYE
Gah!! I gotta get outta here.
(64D) CAMERA BACKTRACKS looking at Jaye pushing her way thru adults
and children. The animals in the wallpaper appear to be
"evacuating". Lots of cross-commotion. Without loosing it,
Jaye can only make an unpleasant face.
MUSES
Forest home safe. (repeats)
(64E) Upside-down/reversed CAMERA shot of Jaye solely running full

tilt down a blind hallway.
(65) INT. BLDG. -

- END OF HALLWAY / REAR EXIT ENTRYWAY / STAIR LANDING
- DAY/STORMY OUTSIDE + THUNDER & LIGHTENING
(65A) Very quiet in the entryway. Occasional thunder /w lightening.

The silence is broken when Jaye bursts from the hallway doors
(push-bar type). Irritable crowd noise can be heard inside.
Jaye shuts the door with her back. It’s silent again. Breathy
noises from Jaye, sort of like a panic attack. She tries to
reclaim herself. She slumps down to the floor.
(66) INT. DARK UTILITY CLOSET
(66A) Cyle with flashlight toggles a electrical panel.
(67) INT. BLDG. – ( CONTINUOUS )

- DAY/STORMY OUTSIDE + THUNDER & LIGHTENING
(67A) Delicate amber point illuminations of floor runner lights and

fiber optic ceiling stars appear at Jaye’s location.
(67B) Jaye notices RUSTLING coming from behind a planter on the

stairs. It moves about making subtle noises.
O.S. VOICE
(frilly sounds)
JAYE
Go away little girl, or boy.
Not now Skittles.
O.S. VOICE
(whisper-like)
E-lec-tro-cu-tion.
(67C) Annoyed, Jaye gets up and goes over to the stair landing.
JAYE
Damn it Kid. If you’ve learned
anything about being in a
hospital it’s - don’t aggravate
the mental patients—
(67D) The thing pops out. A fully animated, walking, frilly-sounding

koala. Add THUNDER and LIGHTENING.
JAYE
Paaaaagh! Fluffy.
You owe me 3 weeks!
KOALA
(frilly sounds)
JAYE
We had a deal, a new deal.
Why are you breaking it?
KOALA
Electrocution.
JAYE
(voice breaking)
I held up my end. I'm suppose to
do it myself! Figure things out
myself. Make friends. I, have,
friends. I can get friends!
Don’t you dare make me throw
away two whole years of my life!
KOALA
Electro-
JAYE
I’m not Princess Perfect. I’m
not an ice queen either.
You want me to get you? Right?
Well I have to get better--
normal! Or else the host dies.
And you don't want that! Right?
Well?? Say something!
KOALA
Electro-
JAYE
FINE! Skittles look away. Mommy
has to return the koala back to
the farm.
LITTLE GIRL
(sadly)
Jaye, no.
JAYE
Jaye? You said my name. You know
my name. Skittles that great.
Skittles that's awesome.
Skittles, sorry, I don't know
your name. You're not pickled
off as we thought you were.
LITTLE GIRL
Home.
MUSES
Forest. Safe.
JAYE
(to Muses)
Biirrrrr! Zip it!
(to Little Girl)
Home. Me too--I just wanna go—
Wow. I've come up to your level
of understanding. Or maybe
you've come down to mine. Either
way the one thing you don't know
about me is—
LITTLE GIRL & MUSES

Forest, home, safe.
JAYE
Oh no. You and fluffy?
Say something.
LITTLE GIRL & MUSES

Forest, home, safe.
JAYE
Something longer!
LITTLE GIRL & MUSES

(koala teaches her to say...)
Electrocution...
Inundation...
Lesbians...
JAYE
What do you want from me?!
Give me more time.
FLUFFY!!
CYLE
Jaye.
(67E) Cyle has entered from a O.S corridor. Who knows how long he
has been standing there. Cyle only sees a STILL stuffed koala
toy atop the stairs.
(67F) The crowd enters from main hallway.
(68) INT. BLDG. -

- DAY/ STORMY OUTSIDE
(68A) CUE MUSIC: rock power ballad “Mamma I’m coming home” BY Ozzy
Osbourne. Background, throughout...
BETH / STAFFER
Alright folks.
Parents hold your kid’s hand.
We’re all going back to the Old
Wing until we get this mess
cleaned and sorted out. Sorry.
SOMEBODY
Aren’t Architects and Engineers
suppose to prevent this kinda
stuff?
(68B) The Little Girl is tugging at Jaye throughout...
BETH
(to Cyle)
Hey. Did you plant it wrong?
CYLE
Don’t mock my beautiful tree.
That thing’s granite.
Unless you botched up my soil
Butchinski.
BETH
Your in charge of Landscaping.
I gave you the Topology.
CYLE
No no. I clearly remember you
gave me the Topology Soil
Results.
BETH
That wasn’t the results. That
was the work order!
CYLE
You wouldn’t even start on the
foundation if the ground work
wasn’t compacted yet! So why the
hell would I buy a big giant
tree and stick it in the ground,
if the ground wasn’t even
compact?
CYLE BETH
Nobody did the Topology? Nobody did the Topology?
And you started construction?! And you put in a tree?!
That means, the grounds are... That means, the grounds are...
JAYE
(to Little Girl)
WHAT?!
LITTLE GIRL
Inundated. (slowly)
BETH & CYLE

Inundated.
BETH
The DSA committee will kill us
on this.
CYLE
Not if the building does it
first. You didn't know at all?
BETH
Jaye actually tried to tell me.
(to Jaye)
My head was in my loins.
Should've listened to my older
step Sis.
JAYE
(to self)
OMG, she's like a tiny little
Sylvia Brown. She's like...
CYLE
(sotto to Jaye's ear)
Like a tiny little you.
A mini you...
JAYE
A mini-me.
(68C) Jaye and the Little Girl both visually watch the same koala
pop out from behind the planter (atop the stairs), walk down
thru the crowd and toward the sliding–door exit. It makes a
patriotic little pose before walking into the metal automatic
sliding door which is currently electrified by the puddle
outside the building...
KOALA
Forest home safe.
JAYE
(whispers to Little Girl)
Can you hear ‘em Skittles?
Can you hear the Koalas?
(68D) ...And the koala ELECTROCUTES itself.
(68E) TIMED MUSIC CUE: “...Mamma I’m coming hooooooo-o-ome.”

Mamma I'm Comin' Home By Ozzie Osborne.
(68F) Jaye and Little Girl react to what they just saw. Cyle didn’t
see anything.
LITTLE GIRL
Home.
JAYE
I can’t believe it. A-A-Another
me. A Mini Me! And see 'em too.
So, I’m not crazy--I’m savant!
Screw those 3 weeks. Skittles
we’re going on Oprah and
becoming millionaires!
(rational/calm)
No disrespect on your mom
orphanizing you and everything.
But you're going to love money.
(68G) Cyle gives Skittles some Skittles.
JAYE (CONT'D)
(to Cyle)
Thank you.
CYLE
Aye, mate.
JAYE
Now if you don’t want to turn
this gift into a spectacle,
become a celebrity, rule the
world, etc, I’ll understand.
Just say the word.
LITTLE GIRL
Home. Home!
JAYE
No no. Oprah. Oprah!
(68H) Enter STAFFER from Hallway door. Puff of smoke following him.
STAFFER
(sotto to Beth)
The building’s on fire.
I went to check the rooms for
children and the further I went
the more smoke just—
BETH
That tree must’ve broken thru
the electrical system. We need
to get everyone out.
LITTLE GIRL
Home!
(68I) Little Girl starts an emotional chain reaction with the rest
of the kids.
KIDS
Home, home, home, HOME, home...
(68J) As adults move toward the exit, they hold themselves back when
their kids all hesitantly and uniformly attach themselves to
Jaye. They holding up their stuffed koalas to her face.
JAYE
Aggh! Children of the corn!!!
Personal space issues!
Respect the space!
Okay! What do you want!?
(68K) All the stuffed koalas are animating at the same time...
KOALAS
Forest home safe.
CYLE
(to Jaye)
Well, there’s the "friends" you
were asking for. What? You need
a marquee?! They’re waiting for
an answer.
JAYE
Forest? What do you mean by
forest?
(68L) From Jaye's POV the CAMERA FOCUSES past the burnt bear on the
ground to a sign “Welcome to the Magic Forest Gymnasium" with
a cardboard koala pointing to the stairwell.
JAYE
[ adlib ]
(68M) Lead by the Little Girl, one by one the children start
marching up the stairs. Jaye blocks off the parents exit.
JAYE
(to Crowd)
People? Um, change in plans. The
kids and I are going to stay, so
I suggest you do also.
(68N) A sour response from the adults, except Cyle. Jaye sees the
burned koala lying by her feet, it give a thumbs-up. Cyle sees
nothing. An VERY TALL ORDERLY challenges Jaye. Her forehead is
at height to his elbows. She doesn't even look up.
VERY TALL ORDERLY

Lady you want to get out of my
way. We can do this the easy way
or we can do this the hard way.
JAYE
No pea-brain, headless,
beanstalk is going to sway me.
Especially when his pods is
inline with my fist.
So... “the hard way”?
(68O) The orderly backs down.
BETH
Jaye, the building is in
shambles and,
(sotto) and I think it’s on
fire.
SHARON
Oh no. I wouldn’t’ve expect it
this soon. But, I was prepared
for such an event by her doctor.
(68P) Sharon pulls out and preps a GIANT syringe from her purse.
SHARON (CONT'D)
(to person next to her)
Turn around if your squeamish.
(68Q) As Sharon walks toward Jaye, she’s pepper-sprayed by Cyle.

Cyle holds the entire crowd at bay; hostage-like.
CYLE
ALRIGHT NOBODY MOVE! Please.
(after a beat) (to Jaye)
Ok now what?
AUDIO TRANSITION:
A RINGING PHONE.
(69) INT. THE BARREL – DAY/STORMY OUTSIDE
(69A) No power. No customers. Big mess left behind by the party.
MAHANDRA
(on the phone)
No! NO! NO! Absolutely not!
Are you kidding me? Is this a
pank?! Fine! If you want an
interview so bad, you'll drag
your ass all the way down here
from Quebec Canada. And get here
by midnight! Got it, aye?!
(hangs up) Gawd.
(70) INT. GOLF CLUBHOUSE – DAY
(70A) In the background, singing/cheer/good spirits at the club’s

bar room. Darrin is on a payphone. Busy signal.
ERNESTO
Doctor, we need your
stethoscope.
(70B) Darrin removes a beer bong funnel from around his neck.
ERNESTO
Hey Darrin, why aren’t you
coming back in the game?
DARRIN
Not yet. I completely forgot I
was suppose to call my daughters
and pick up my Jaye before I
came here. I’m trying to reach
Sharon's cell now, but I can’t
get thru. And now I have a bad
feeling.
ERNESTO
It’s the storm. All that rain
blocks the signals.
SOMEBODY
It’s the blackout – it's huge.
Citywide. Something downtown.
Heard lots of fire trucks going
that way.
DARRIN
Where?
SOMEBODY
Down that street.
ERNESTO
Sounds big.
DARRIN
That goes toward the hospital!
[[funny swear word]].
I sensed something wasn’t right.
ERNESTO
Problemo? You’re leaving?
The rain’s let up. What about
your tee-off?
DARRIN
Both my daughters are there. All
this time they might have been
trying to contact me--they may
be in peril.
(70C) Clark Kent to Superman moment. Hangs-up phone, rips open

shirt/jacket to reveal an “S” on a paper plate. After a beat
Darrin takes off his “S” and gives it to Ernesto.
DARRIN (CONT'D)
Here. You take my place in human
Jumble.
(leaves)
ERNESTO
(after a beat)
Guys! I wanna spell a dirty
word!
(71) INT. BLDG. -

- DAY
(71A) Beth and people are pouring bottled water in Sharon’s eyes.
Mascara runs everywhere.
BETH
Cyle!
CYLE
I said BACK! Everyone!
(to Jaye)
What now?
JAYE
(after a beat)
The Forest.
CYLE
The gym? Alright everyone, up
the stairs, follow the kids. You
heard me. Orderly fashion now.
Let’s go.
(71B) The crowd moves along but in disbelief.

(71C) ANGRY MAN breaks loose and charges toward the exit.
ANGRY MAN
Nuts! You all are nuts. Every
last one of you! Ya’all can
hot-box it here in your
deathtrap. I'm outta here.
So kiss my—
LITTLE GIRL
(yelps)!
JAYE
Cyle!
(71D) ANGRY MAN is briefly electrocuted when he attempts to pry open

the metal frame of the automatic sliding door before falling
backwards.
ANGRY MAN
Aaaaaaaaaassssssss...
CYLE
Somebody help that man up.
And be careful.
JAYE LITTLE GIRL

Dumbass. Dumbass.
(72A) No power. One customer. A HELPER EMPLOYEE drops off a full bus
tray at the counter and goes to fan Mahandra. Mahandra is
sitting, soaking all 4 tired appendages in 4 bus-trays of ice
water.
HELPER EMPLOYEE
That’s the last of it.
MAHANDRA
I’ll deal with it later. Will
you stay to help cover the
dinner shift?
HELPER EMPLOYEE
I will.
MAHANDRA
Bless you child.
(72B) Enter Aaron (he’s wearing Jaye’s smock).
AARON
It’s done. I convinced the Big
Wood Bystander that you weren’t
a barrel & crate manufacturer.
(sits)
I got your money back.
(on Mahandra’s buckets)
Um?
HELPER EMPLOYEE
Bastille Day. We’re the only 2
here. She just finished washing
and putting away—
MAHANDRA
A micro-brewery.
AARON
I feel guilty. I know you suck
in math and had to drive away
customers on account of the
registers going down. I guess I
never really saw the
consequences. You know, I’m good
in math.
MAHANDRA
If I get up, I will kill you.
And on your derogatory apology
-- congratulations on your sex
change Aaron J. Tyler. You’re
now officially your own sister.
AARON
I’m not turning into Jaye.
MAHANDRA
You do know your wearing your
smock outside of work. All the
signs were there: Barrowing
Titanic, living in her
trailer...
AARON
A perfectly paid-for unused
dwelling. And that movie was for
a book report.
MAHANDRA (CONT'D)
You have her best friend -- that
one bothers me a little.
Her car, her job at the store...
AARON
Holding, for the Summer.
Something for her to comeback to
when she' is deemed
psychotically legal. I don’t
even like working there.
MAHANDRA
Aye say Jaye Tyler!
(ad-hoc sympathetic)
Mouthbreather got you working
late again Jaye Tyler? When do
you want me to drop off your
Maxis Jaye Tyler? After work or
at your trailer Jaye Tyler?
AARON
Mouth and I are best friends.
MAHANDRA
I-...
AARON
Between you and me...
I’m not the one Mouth has
developed a crush on... But you
didn’t hear that from me.
MAHANDRA
(to Helper Employee)
I’m gonna need another bucket.
(72C) The last patron inside approaches to pay his bill.
AARON
(to Mahandra)
Look at the good - nobody died,
nobody was struck by that
lightening or whatever that was,
your employer will never W2 and
comp pay a Lumberjack. It’ll be
a funny story one day to tell
our chil-, clients.
(help Mahandra do the math bill)
Now subtotal.
MAHANDRA
Clients?
AARON
Yes. I think about that stuff.
That what good ‘employers’ do.
Carry the 2.
AARON
We help each other out...
And his change comes to?
PATRON
Keep it. (refuses change)
T’was quite a day.
(leaves)
MAHANDRA
13 dollar tip.
AARON
You deserve it. For the record,
you did give him the correct
change.
(after a beat)
Again, really sorry for the
French ad. And my high
intellect. Hey, you’ll never
hear that outta Jaye.
(72D) CAMERA stays on Aaron.
MAHANDRA (O.S.)
You’ll have to make up for it.
AARON
Of Course.
MAHANDRA (O.S.)
Can you Aleve a stiff back?
AARON
I’m the best.
(72E) A bra lands on Aaron.
MAHANDRA (O.S.)
With any luck, you just might
earn back your penis.
(73) INT. GYM – HEALING TREE
(73A) Cue tension music. CAMERA PANS RIGHT continuously on the

people sitting against the wall/bleachers like victims in
wait. Towels are stuffed into the door's cracks.
SOMEONE BY THE DOOR

Stuff it like this.
Help me keep the smoke out.
KID
Mommy. What’s it like to burn
alive?
SHARON
(tearing up)
By my own sister...
BETH
You flaring up?
(grabs water bottle)
SHARON
I always though I would die
holding the hand of my true
love...
You, of course, are the true
one. I mean— {adlib}.
(after a beat)
Wanna hold my hand?
BETH
I’m not in the mood.
(73B) End CAMERA PAN on...
OLD WOMAN
(staring at Jaye)
Look at her. Calm, demeanored,
in control...
(73C) We see Jaye in the gym office window with her back to us.
OLD WOMAN (CONT'D)

(staring at Jaye)
I’d be pullin’ my own hair out.
(74) INT. GYM OFFICE - ( CONTINUOUS )
(74A) Jaye is breathing thru a paper bag.
CYLE
Breathe. Breathe.
(74B) INT. GYM – ( CONTINUOUS )
OLD WOMAN (CONT'D)

A person like that knows what’s
best for us.
PERSON #1
I hope.
PERSON #2
I heard she was a mental patient
here.
STAFFER
I heard she was a homeless drunk
who tried to hang herself in a
car window.
ANGRY MAN
Well that’s it! (stands up)
She’s nuts! What are we doing?!
Why are we following a drunk
mental bum nut?!
SHARON
That’s my sister you Hoebokin!
She’s NOT nuts!
(sotto) anymore.
PERSON #3
Well, I’d rather take my chances
out there finding an escape.
PERSON #4
Yeah, what’s the worst that can
happen?
BETH
Burned, crushed by the fallen
tree, or other debris, how about
electrocuted.
PERSON #5
Like that guy.
ANGRY MAN
Don’t you people watch the news?
Don’t you know they do this a
thousands of times? Trap people,
burn the place down. That’s when
they want to die.
OTHERS
-I’m with you dude.
-Me too.
-I’m not going to sit around and
wait.
-Yeah! Yeah!!
ANGRY MAN
Yeah!
(74C) Crowd upheaval.
OPPOSED PERSON
What about waiting for rescue?
ANGRY MAN
What about your children?
What about a tomorrow?!
(74D) Crowd upheavals and moves O.S.
(75) INT. GYM OFFICE –
(75A) Jaye is still breathing thru a paper bag. Cyle is sealing off
the cracks in the room.
JAYE
I'm going to hell.
CYLE
You're not going to hell.
JAYE
I'm putting children on fire.
CYLE
I've'n't seen you kill anyone.
And I haven't had the liberty of
restraining you. Yet.
JAYE
(voice breaking)
It's bad. What judge is gonna
believe this... “Prove you
weren’t taking hostages”,
“Did you say koalas?”...
Just needs motive to give Crazy
the electric chair.
CYLE
You're not crazy.
JAYE
(sifts thru a medicine cabinet)
We’re in a hospital, so there's
the drugs. And ha ha--the Kool-
Aid!
(points to a Gatorade cooler)
(75B) Jaye tosses something from the medicine cabinet to Cyle.
CYLE
You want to kill everyone with
Jock cream?
JAYE
Remind me again, why?
CYLE
"Forrest, home, and safe" I
believe is was, Luv?
LITTLE GIRL
(nods yes)
CYLE
Two out of three.
JAYE
Poor fragmented little Skittles.
CYLE
Well, you’ll need an alibi.
CYLE (CONT'D)
“Yes your Honor, as the
architect, I affirm the gym was
the most stabilized structure of
the building: hanger-grade
pylons, reinforced footings, its
generators and ventilation are
top-of-the line...”
JAYE
The tour?! Of course! Give the
judge a tour! And the D.A., the
jury, and your cellmate Big
Bruno while he rides your
backside into retirement.
CYLE
I've heard a prisoners anus is
as big as a house.
(after a beat)
Hmm. You never told me what they
said.
JAYE
You just said, forrest—
CYLE
Koalas. Right? In the cafeteria,
by the phone, on the roof. You
normally have swearing fits with
potted plants on stairs? Exactly
what did they say? Just to get
our stories straight... for the
Judge.
(75C) Enter angry crowd.

ANGRY MAN
We changed our minds. We’re
getting out of here. I'm not
going to idly sit by and let
some wacko Waco-ize us!
(to crowd)
Look they got Kool-Aid!
(75D) Enter crowd.
JAYE
(to Cyle) (shrugs)
I don’t know what your talking
about.
(75E) A MAN enters the gym office coughing.
MAN
The gym’s filling up with smoke.
(cough) (cough)
(75F) CUE TENSION MUSIC.

(75G) Jaye and Cyle go over to an office window and look thru the
blinds. CAMERA ZOOMS IN (Jaye’s POV). Smoke is pouring out
from all the big vents into the gymnasium below. We can see
everyone getting up and going up the stairs to the gym office.
CYLE
The fire’s reached the gym.
BETH
Everyone inside. We can close
the door and seal off the sides.
(to Cyle)
I hope you know what you're
doing.
TRANSITION:
COMMERCIAL BREAK
(76) EXT. HEALING TREE BLDG. – FIREFIGHTERS HELD BACK - DAY
(76A) Continue TENSION MUSIC. Smoke pours out the top of the
building. Live downed power line are jumping aground.
FIREFIGHTER CHIEF
(over PA)
Nobody is to move. Stay clear of
all watered areas until the
power is off.
(normal)
My God. I just hope nobody’s
really in there.
(76B) Firefighter #1 approaches the Chief with a “GRAND OPENING”

banner.
FIREFIGHTER #1
Sir! We may have a problem.
I found this.
(76C) Darrin arrives on-scene and is held back from entering.
DARRIN
Holy smoked salmon and burning
biscuits. Jaye! Sharon! My
daughters are in there! Let me
go! I am a doctor of this
hospital!
FIREFIGHTER CHIEF
(into his radio)
Falls16 to Central One. We have
a code KFC. Advise mortuary.
(77A) Continue TENSION MUSIC. In the back, Mahandra and Aaron are
rolling around coitus in the dark.
(77B) In the front Helper is sweeping up. A Lumberjack enters with

an axe. Helper turns him away.
(77C) A over-flaming candle catches a paper menu. HELPER puts it out

in time.
(78) INT. GYM OFFICE – ( CONTINUOUS )
(78A) Continue TENSION MUSIC. Everyone is either covering their

mouths, fanning away smoke, or coughing. Everyone is lined up,
sitting against the walls again. Cyle and some men are trying
to bust out the only window – a cemented stained glass mural
of a koala.
CYLE
Too thick. (Coughs).
(78B) Angry Man approaches Jaye. He has his kid with him. All the
kids are happy/ok/smiling.
JAYE
What.
ANGRY MAN
I spoke with my kid. I hope you
know what you’re doing.
(Coughs).
(78C) He extends to shake Jaye’s hand, then walks O.S.
(78D) More smoke is seeping in. Jaye is watching the window blinds
melt from the heat. Their last bit of POWER DIES. Jaye looks
to a koala, but it just remains inanimate.
(79) EXT. HEALING TREE BLDG. - DAY
(79A) Electrician signals the power is off. Firefighters move in,

breaking and dowsing everything. Two firemen analyze that
burned squirrel.
FIREFIGHTER #1
Beaver? Possum?
FIREFIGHTER #2
That’s not a Possum. It’s a
squirrel – look at its nuts.
(80) INT. GYM OFFICE - ( CONTINUOUS )
(80A) CUE MUSIC: sad Spanish guitar ballad.

CAMERA PANS LEFT to RIGHT of the sitting victims.
Couples bid their goodbyes to each other.
SPANISH MAN
(en Espanõl)
SPANISH WOMAN
(en Espanõl)
(80B) They hold hands. Continue PAN...
ANGRY MAN
[[apologizes for snapping]]
PERSON
It’s okay man. It’s going to be,
(chokes) okay.
(80C) They shake hands. Continue PAN...
SHARON
I’m sorry I snapped at you.
I-I love you, you know.
BETH
I-I, I’m scared too, Honey.
(80D) They hold hands. Continue PAN...
KIDS
Patty cake, patty cake,
Baker’s man, bake me a cake as
fast as you can...
(80E) They clap hands. END PAN on...
(80F) Cyle gives up breaking the window and sits down next to Jaye.
Jaye is holding a (inanimate) stuffed koala.
JAYE
Have you ever had a question,
you knew you could answer, it
has no words, but it's right on
the tip of your tongue?
CYLE
Does collecting Beanie Babies
make one gay.
JAYE
Before all this I had the choice
of golfing with my Dad. I didn’t
even say goodbye. The last thing
I said was (sniffle) he was
boring.
(after a beat)
I can hear 'em. Everywhere,
everyday, dark corners, in the
shower...
CYLE
Dad?
JAYE
This. (hold up koala)
CYLE
I said I know. I’ve always
known. Did you know your sister
talks about you all the time?
She really is proud of you.
Oh good golly, she comes in work
and it's “Oh, sorry Honey-",
Honey being my sister,
"today I have to: run this for
Jaye, I have to refill that for
Jaye, finish cutting the faces
out of the magazines, for Jaye.”
JAYE
Then why did she rarely visit me
at the hospital? Every one else
did. Even the Mouthbreather.
God knows why.
CYLE
She gets off work six o’clock,
Beth seven. If there was any
time left after errands, chores,
visiting hours are nothing but
over. If something had to be,
she goes and makes me do it, for
you. You're so fortunate to have
this entire army working for
you. These kids, and like so
many other, have nothing. Their
parents are who ever's on-call,
their only friends are doctors.
Some, their only family are
these cheap polyester
hypoallergenic toys I ordered
from a souvenir store discount
catalog. (coughs)
JAYE
You’re twisting the surreal --
and don’t say surrender. Because
there’s reality, and what isn’t
proven reality, there just
isn’t.
CYLE
You’re starting to sound like
your brother.
JAYE
He leaves his textbooks by the
toilet...
But-but, but just sometimes—
CYLE
Sometimes you hear things. One
of the 5 senses. I hear things.
JAYE
Like, what?
CYLE
You.
JAYE
Anything else?
CYLE
You mean, God?
Ask me again in 10 minutes.
(chuckles)
(80G) They hold hands.
JAYE
(wry)
Son of a bitch. Why always the
pretty ones – and right before
they die.
(81) EXT. HEALING TREE BLDG. – ( CONTINUOUS )
(81A) Sounds of the Hook & Ladder truck reaching the window. A
firefighter, holding an axe, assesses the stain-glass window.
And makes his back-swing.
(82) INT. GYM OFFICE – ( CONTINUOUS )
(82A) Heavy pounding and breaking sounds.
SOMEBODY
The ceiling’s caving in!
SOMEBODY
This is it!
JAYE
Shut up! This can't be it?!?
Oh, Gawd! Who am I suppose to
be?!!
CYLE
"Asks God who I'm suppose to be,
to suddenly hear the sounds of
angels laughing and placing
their bets".
(82B) Debris falling. Couples hold each other. Jaye’s eyes are as
big as saucers and Cyle is plain calm. For an instant they
embrace, but Jaye STOPS HERSELF from going into kissing him.
The destruction gets LOUDER.
JAYE
I just-, I want-, I-I-I...
CYLE
See you on the other side, Sis?
JAYE
Go to hell.
(82C) Jaye leans into a full kiss. When the break their expressions
are perplexed.
(82D) CUE MUSIC: “Let’s get it on” BY Marvin Gaye.

They double-take to discover the rest of the adults have
spontaneously brusted in making-out. Man-woman, woman-man,
Sharon-Beth, doctor-nurse, angry man#1 - angry man#2.
The electrocuted man (wrapped head to foot in bandage) has a
Tickle-Me-Elmo vibrating his crotch. His eyes roll back into
his head.
The kids can only look-on with perplexing faces.
(82E) In the BACKGROUND the stained glass window explodes in a

million pieces. A smoky silhouette of a fireman behind it.
EVERYONE
AAAaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!
END OF ACT 3
TRANSITION: CUT TO
COMMERCIAL BREAK.
ACT 4
(83) EXT. HEALING TREE BLDG. – AMBULANCE - DAY
(83A) Background, firefighters are wrapping things up on-site. Folks

and kids are still coming down the ladder. Sharon, in a foil
blanket by an ambulance, appears to be in a state of shock.
Jaye is closing a zipper on Sharon's purse before handing it
to Sharon.
JAYE
(to Sharon)
I think they found your purse.
SHARON
Ya. (inside an oxygen mask)
JAYE
(after a beat)
Back there, you weren’t really
going to tranq. me in the ass in
front of all those people?
SHARON
Ya. (inside an oxygen mask)
JAYE
Those needles, you bought ‘em
yourself? And Dr. Ron authorized
this?
SHARON
Yes, for your own safety.
Legally you’re only allowed to
carry just two.
And I'll say, very expensive.
JAYE
(slowly)
Really.
(83B) Befuddled Sharon can’t find the 2nd syringe in her purse.
Because Jaye’s holding it (in front of her) with a “traitor”
expression. Jaye drops it, crushes it, parsing an “asshole!”
expression.
(84) EXT. HEALING TREE BLDG. – ( CONTINUOUS )
(84A) Enter Darrin.

DARRIN
OMG Sweetheart, there you are!
JAYE & SHARON

Dad!
DARRIN
I cannot blame myself enough. I
assume the full responsibility.
(at the mess)
Leaping Lordy!
JAYE
Dad, the Arsonist said I wasn’t—
You?
DARRIN
I got your message you wanted to
go home. But headlongingly got
caught up in my game, it started
to rain. I-I completely
undermined your doctor's orders.
"Priorities for smooth
transition". Will you ever
forgive me?
(to firemen)
What's the body count?
FIREFIGHTER
Zero.
DARRIN
Survivors?!
FIREFIGHTER
(chuckles)
A heroin is more like it.
DARRIN
You must’ve mistaken for my
other daughter - Sharon.
DARRIN (CONT'D)
(to Jaye)
No offense Sweetheart.
JAYE
(dangles bracelets)
None taken.
DARRIN
And that thing was themed with
Jungle Bunnies.
FIREFIGHTER
(holds charred toy)
I think it was a Koala.
DARRIN
Brave – is all I can say.
FIREFIGHTER #2
Smart move. We ordered 100
body-bags. Didn’t have to unzip
a single one. How'd ya do it?
(shakes Jaye's hand)
DARRIN
What happened in there?
JAYE
Um.
CYLE
(approaches)
I’m going to say it was fate.
(winks at Jaye)
JAYE
Excuse me.
(84B) Jaye pulls Cyle o.s. Firefighter bicker amongst selves.
FIREFIGHTER #3 OVER RADIO

Who's the dumbass that called-in
Code KFC?
DARRIN
Code KFC?
FIREFIGHTER #2
You're a doctor? Ever had a full
day in the morgue?
(85) EXT. HEALING TREE BLDG. - ( CONTINUOUS )
(85A) Jaye and Cyle aside, walking.
JAYE
You saved my life. That's twice.
Thanks.
CYLE
And you're surprising
inoffensive.
But, sorry. I’m taken.
JAYE
Pffft, you kissed me.
CYLE
(chuckles)
That laughing sound inside your
head Joan of Arc? That's God.
Even he knows the answer to that
one.
(85B) Cyle starts to walk away. Jaye hesitantly curtails for

follow-ups.
JAYE
Wait. Wait. What's to say it was
Fate? After all that? Why the
gym? Fate explain that.
CYLE
Well.
O.S. MAN SHOUT

Sarah!!
(85C) Commotion on the rescue ladder. A fireman pops his head out of
that little steering wheelhouse at the end of the hook &
ladder truck. One is climbing down with the Little Girl.
FIREFIGHTER
This is the last one.
FIREFIGHTER FATHER
Sarah?! Sarah!?! Is that you?!
LITTLE GIRL
Daddy! Daddy! I miss youuuuuuuu!
(85D) Cyle and Jaye look surprised that she actually talks.
JAYE & CYLE

Skittles?!
FIREFIGHTER FATHER
Oh, Mary mother and Joseph! My
baby girl! Where did you—
Oh, Lord it's a miracle!
I prayed for you everyday...
FIREFIGHTER
STFU. This is your kid? The one
your ex-wife hid from you in the
divorce?
FIREFIGHTER FATHER
And may the bitch burn in hell
for not telling me so.
FIREFIGHTER
(congratulatory)
What are the odds?
(to Little Girl)
Hey you look older.
LITTLE GIRL
Not old. You're old. I'm five.
FIREFIGHTER FATHER
(bawling, proud)
C’mon. Let’s go home.
Let’s go and be a family.
CYLE
Ah. Well. There you go.
Beautiful.
(85E) Cyle pats Jaye on the shoulder and takes off.
JAYE
Who the hell are you?!
(85F) Enter a Staffer (previously Angry Black Woman).
STAFFER
That's Cyle.
Everyone knows Cyle.
FWD time to midnight. Scenic. Niagara Falls.
(87) INT. THE BARREL – CLIFFHANGER - MIDNIGHT
(87A) Mahandra is totaling paperwork at the bar. A knock at the

door.
MAHANDRA
(to Helper)
Tell ‘em we’re closed – comeback
tomorrow.
(87B) A man’s voice outside. He slides a paper under the door.

Helper brings it to Mahandra.
HELPER EMPLOYEE
He says he’s your 12:00am
interview? From Quebec?
MAHANDRA
Damn these Canadian lumberjacks.
Ugh.
HELPER EMPLOYEE
Here’s his résumé.
MAHANDRA
(after a beat)
Go. Go! Go unlock the gun!!!
(87C) CAMERA POV: Stay on Mahandra opening the front door.

MAHANDRA
What the hell is this?! I told
you if I EVER saw your face
again— You have 90 seconds
before my waiter comes back and
GATS YOU! What the hell do you
want this time?!
(looks at résumé in hand)
Oh my gawd.
(87D) CAMERA POV: Reveal person at the front door.
ERIC
I’m desperate.
TRANSITION:
CUT TO BLACK
END OF ACT 4
END OF SHOW

Wonderfalls Vs 2x03 (Hanging Koala)

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Wonderfalls Vs 2x03 (Hanging Koala)

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Wonderfalls

Based on, Wonderfalls by

Name: tHE Mouse209 Company

(1) SHOT: OPEN WITH A SCENE SOMEWHERE IN QUEBEC - DAY.

(2) INT. TYLER HOUSE – DAY

(2A) SHARON applying lipstick in the bathroom.

(2B) Sharon exiting the bathroom & entering living room.

(2C) She finds any nearby paper.

DR. RON (CONT'D)

(3) MONTAGE: “FIND A BABYSITTER”

REPLIES PER CALLER

REPLIES PER CALLER

OLD LADY MAHONEY

(3B) EXT. TYLER HOUSE - FRONT DOOR – ( CONTINUOUS )

(3C) Wind-down montage music.

(3D) EXT. TYLER HOUSE – ( CONTINUOUS )

(3F) End Music. END MONTAGE.

(4) EXT. HEALING TREE BLDG. – “STAY IN THE CAR” - DAY

(4A) Hospital grounds, Sharon pulls in for parking. By the building

(4D) Sharon ends phone call.

(4F) Sharon and Beth can only look at each other.

(4G) Sharon handcuffs Jaye to the steering wheel.

(4H) Beth leads Sharon by the hand into the building.

(5) INT./EXT. NURSERY – YAKIMA NURSERY – DAY

(6) INT. CAR - DAY

(6B) CAMERA FOCUS on a flyer on the windshield.

(7) INT. DARK CLOSET – DAY

(8) INT. CAR / EXT. BLDG. – DAY

(8B) Repeat several failed attempts.

(8C) She gets head-turns from the landscapers/construction workers.

(9) INT./EXT. NURSERY – YAKIMA NURSERY – DAY

(10) INT. DARK CLOSET – DAY

(11) EXT. BLDG. – DAY ( CONTINUOUS )

(11A) On site a large flatbed just delivered the large tree.

(12) EXT. CAR – DAY ( CONTINUOUS )

(12A) Jaye attempts to crawl ass-first out the window. Eventually

(12B) Car alarm goes off. Windows begin roll up.

(12C) Jaye tries to scuttle back inside.

(13) EXT. BLDG./CAR – DAY ( CONTINUOUS )

(13B) He grabs something and darts out of frame. As the window

MAN HERO (CYLE)

(14) INT. HOSPITAL – SURGERY ROOM - DAY

(14A) Enter Darrin with an x-ray.

(14B) Darrin then puts on his mask.

(15) INT. BLDG. – "FIRE MARSHAL BILL" - DAY

(15C) They exit the building.

(16) EXT. BLDG – "MY CAR!" – ( CONTINUOUS )

(17) INT. THE BARREL – "BEER FEST" - DAY

(17B) Band begins playing polka rendition of "Love Shack".

(17C) German waitresses put a karaoke microphone in Aaron's face.

HELGA & WAITRESSES

(18) SERIES OF SHOTS:

FLY-THRU-VIDEO of the Healing Tree Center building complex.

(19) EXT. HEALING TREE BLDG. – "OPENING CEREMONY" – DAY/CLOUDY

(19A) Crowd in front of building, yellow hardhat construction

MAN HERO (CYLE)

MAN HERO (CYLE)

(19C) CUE MUSIC: Joel Plaskett - Nowhere with you.

(19D) He continues to remove his t-shirt. Now bare-chested and arms

MAN HERO (CYLE)

(20) INT. BLDG. – LOBBY - DAY

(20A) Tables of food in the background. People and parents with

MAN HERO (CYLE)