Rhetorical Appeals and SOAPSTone Practice

SELECTION 1: _______________________________________________________________
Hello to the family and friends of Shannon Marie. My wife and I thank you all so much
for being here today. It means the world to see all of the people whose lives were
touched in some way by our daughter. Whether you knew her from school or sports or
the neighborhood or her job at Bella Boutique, its clear today that Shannon was loved by
many, many people.
This should come as no surprise. Shannon was the loveliest, kindest, most creative
young woman any of us could have been fortunate enough to meet. As a child, she was
always sympathetic and nurturing, always so loving to her brother Mark and her sister
Jessica. Shannon loved animals, and wanted to be a veterinarian when she grew up. She
studied math and science at an intense pace, passionately aware that she needed to
conquer those subjects in order to devote her life to helping animals in need. And
Shannon was a tremendous friend, as well. She would always be available for her friends
whenever they were in need, and I know she laughed with you and cried with you over so
many shared memories.
I just want to say to everyone watching this vigil from their homes, too, that I invited
the press to cover this memorial because I want to address the community, too. My
daughter was an amazing young woman with so much potential, so much to live for. And
she was robbed of that potential, that life, by a drunk driver who was so intoxicated that
he didnt know hed hit my daughter until he saw the surveillance camera footage the
next day. My daughter now will never be a veterinarian. She has become a number,
instead: one of the Americans who dies in an alcohol-related traffic fatality every half
hour in our country. My daughter will never live to realize any of her dreams. So now, it
is up to my wife and I to realize a different dream that we will prevent all of the other
Shannons in this world from a tragic, untimely, painful death at the hands of a drunk
driver.

SELECTION 2: _________________________________________________________________
On September 11, 2001, America stood in shock at the tragedy that unfolded at
Ground Zero. In the days that followed, we stood inspired by the thousands of firefighters,
rescue workers, first responders, medical personnel, construction workers, who all traveled
to the scene of the attack to help New Yorkers clean up and recover. Many spent days,
weeks, or months doing the hard work our government asked them to do in the recovery
effort.
Bound together by tragedy, their acts made them heroes. Their commitment
reflected our unity as a people and as a nation. Their courage gave us hope that we would
emerge from these dark days stronger and more resilient than ever. The whole country
watched; the whole world watched, frustrated in our own inability to be at the scene and to
be helpful, grateful to those who were so brave, so courageous, to make that sacrifice in a
place that was uncertain in terms of its health aspects.
The American people are looking to us to do the right thing for the people, the men
and women who answered the call of duty and continue to suffer from ill health effects on
their service. It is my understanding that the people affected by this live in 433 of the 435
Congressional districts. Because people not only rushed in from New York and surrounding
areas, they came and brought their expertise and their health from all over the country. And

therefore, the consequences of their bravery are felt all over the country, and the impact on
their health is an important part of the challenge that they face and that we owe them for.
This legislation fulfills our obligation to those Americans. Helping those who jeopardized
their health to rescue others, secure necessary medical treatment, especially for the unique
exposures suffered at Ground Zero, ensuring survivors and victims' families can attain
compensation for their tragic losses ... My colleagues, you all remember that following 9/11,
there was a compensation fund established for those families of those who lost their lives.
Well, many of these people are losing their lives. They certainly have lost their health. And we
owe them.

SELECTION 3: ______________________________________________________________
What does it take to get good service these days? I live in America, in a land that
supposedly built its capitalism on the concept that the customer is always right. I can
tell you right now, that perky euphemism is an absolute, outright lie. I have never felt so
wrong in my life and Im married as I have when I encounter the land of exceptionally
rude, ignorant, incompetent, bored, sarcastic, inattentive workers in every building I visit.
Think about it: when was the last time you truly had exceptional service at any place
of business? Im not just talking about a speedy drive-through window where the guy
said, Have a nice day. Im talking about finding a sales clerk to actually show you
where the drill bits are located without rolling his eyes first. Im talking about buying your
wife sexy underwear for her birthday without the lady at the counter snickering openly at
your bewilderment. Im talking about getting a meal in a restaurant without your waiter
disappearing the entire time. Im talking about getting on a train without wondering if
your conductor is paying attention or texting his girlfriend.
Its an outrage! Its un-American! All of the things that make our country great can be
undermined by one bad experience at Sears. And when all of my shopping experiences
or dining experiences, or banking experiences, or voting experiences are equally
disastrous, its enough to drive a guy to the brink of homicidal rage. Or at least convince
him to move to Canada.

SELECTION 4: _________________________________________________________________
I didnt have a calculator that day when I went to take my SAT exam. I was one of those
kids who just didnt pay attention to those sorts of things, who needs a calculator when,
and why, and for what. I knew that I would be fine on the verbal section words were and
are my forte and I hadnt given much thought to what else Id be asked to demonstrate.
Thus, I sprinted the ten minutes to my testing location with my printout in hand, sharpened
pencils and all, and had no clue about my impending doom until I ran into Rick my
biggest crush and easily one of the brightest kids at my school.
Hey, he said easily, winningly, smiling his Crest-white smile and melting my heart. I
clenched my pencils so tightly I was sure I would get lead poisoning. We leaned against
lockers and talked for fifteen of the most hyperventilating moments of my young life. Then,
Do you have a battery calculator or a solar calculator? he asked, and I went weak in the
knees. Twice. Once for Rick leaning in to talk to me, the smell of his detergent and his
aftershave and the watermelon gum he was chewingand the other when I realized I had
no calculator, and no desire to stop this conversation to go back and procure one in time,

and therefore no hope of getting into college, getting a job, or convincing Rick to marry me
and sire my children.
When I now survey my students messy desks, or watch them scramble for their buses
without remembering to take their spelling books home, I think about the calculator and
the SAT. Although I am now an adult professional, happily married (not to Rick) and with
kids of my own, I realize that the calculator catastrophe of my own adolescence speaks
volumes about the way our students brains work. They are propelled from one event to
another (school, day care, piano lessons, soccer practice) with very little control over their
own destinies. If we say they must take the SAT, they will take itbut it wont be as
meaningful in their overloaded brains as a chance encounter with Rick and his gum.
When I think about my terrible scores, my parents anger, or my guidance counselors
lectures, none of it seems as vivid as the recollections I have of a cold metal locker
pressed to my shoulder, or the breathless revelation that Ricks mother used Tide.