Mika Yatsuhashi

Pd. 2
Omission
My desk was flipped onto its side. Theodore the bear had lost his arms. Papers lay all
over the floor. I ran my hand through my hair as I took in the scene, one hand over my mouth.
Every book had been torn out of the bookcase. Someone had smashed the mirror to bits. I threw
off my covers, now stained with dark marks of lipstick and eyeliner. My feet landed in lotion that
had spilled over onto the floor. Gasping in disgust, I picked my way through the wreckage. I
strode across the hall to my sisters room.
What the hell, Vanessa? I shouted, flipping on the lights. What happened to my
room?
Vanessa stared at me sleepily from her bed, her favorite unicorn clutched tightly in one
fist. Gwen? Are you are you alright? she asked, her voice trembling slightly.
Of course Im not! I shouted. Have you seen my room?
Vanessa gulped. No, but I heard you last night and I tried to come in but the door was
locked and you were
Vanessa, whats going on? asked my mom from the doorway. I saw concern in her
eyes when she saw me. Gwen? Why are you up? Are you feeling better?
I frowned at her, then at Vanessa, confused. I glanced at my watch. It was 6:45.
And now Im going to be late, I said angrily. Vanessa, if you did this, I warned,
pointing back towards my room, I will kill you!
I barged past my mom, who looked pale and upset. I heard Vanessa begin to sob.

When I got to school later that day, everything seemed muted. The roar that normally
engulfed the hallways was quieter, almost a hum. I felt like I was being watched. People who Id
never talked to before stared at me, following me with their eyes. I shook my head, trying to
convince myself that I was just imagining it.
I saw the first one in between English and Chemistry. She had attracted a small crowd of
people, studying her picture on the wall. I caught a glimpse of her, in between a red backpack
and a green one. Light brown hair, grey cloudy eyes, slightly crooked smile. I walked closer and
noticed the freckles around her nose and the small mole on her chin. Closer still I noticed the
words printed above her light brown hair. Amica Selman. 1998-2015. Rest in Peace. My eyes
traveled back down to her face. Looking at her made my head hurt. She made me feel like there
was a memory, a something, deep within the crevices of my brain that I almost knew. Only there
was a giant hand keeping it from drifting up to the surface. The warning bell rang, startling me
out of my thoughts. I wandered off to my next period, wondering what had happened to her.
I saw the second one on my way to lunch. My friend Nicole was among those within the
little crowd that seemed to accompany all of her posters. Stepping closer to Nicole, I noticed that
her shoulders were shaking and her head was in her hands. I bit my lip. Did Nicole know her? I
walked up and put my arm around her.
You okay, Nicole? I asked quietly.
She lifted her head from her hands, wiping tears from her cheeks. Gwen? What are you
doing here? she asked me, sounding slightly shocked. Are you alright?
Of course I am, I said reassuringly. I wanted to make sure you were alright. Did you
know her? I asked, gesturing at her poster.

Nicole stared at me. Her already short frame seemed to grow smaller, her body caving in
towards itself. Gwen, of course I knew her, she said softly.
Oh Im so sorry! I whispered, pulling her in for a hug. Let me know if theres
anything I can do.
She shoved me away, sending me stumbling back in surprise. Gwen! I should be telling
you that! she said loudly, wiping at her nose.
Why? I said hesitantly, I didnt know her.
Nicole looked like someone had just punched her in the stomach. Is this some sick joke?
Are you trying to be funny right now? Please dont, she said, letting out a small sob. You
shouldnt joke about this.
Nicole, I didnt even know I exclaimed.
You do Gwen! You knew her better than anyone else! she said, shouting now. You
were BEST FRIENDS! You were ALWAYS best friends!
Best friends rattled around in my brain, clanking and clamoring down to the faraway
corner where the giant hand lived. And just when I was going to tell Nicole that she was wrong,
that I didnt know her, the giant hand lifted its finger, allowing a single memory to escape. It
floated into my consciousness, where its strength hit me like a ton of bricks. My head began to
burn, my vision began to darken. And suddenly, I was walking down the same hallway, only it
was different. I was wearing my blue skirt with the tiny pink flowers on it, I was smiling, and
Amica Selman was walking right there beside me. I could feel my feet hitting the scuffed white

tiles, my backpack on my back, and yet I had no control. Amica was laughing, the sun
highlighting her brown hair. I felt my lips moving, yet I didnt know what I was going to say.
Youre coming to my birthday party right? I heard myself ask.
Amica stopped, her mouth dropping open. Oh no! Is that this weekend? she gasped.
The smile fell from my face.
Amica! You have to come! You promised! I said, scolding her. I watched as her face
broke into a smile.
Im just kidding! she laughed, Of course Im coming. Im your best friend!
It ended abruptly in darkness. Slowly I became aware of the scuffed white tiles on my
knees, the same ones as in my memory, yet so much colder now. Sweat dripped down my back,
and I was breathing heavily. Among the hundreds of black dots blurring my vision, Nicoles
concerned face appeared. She helped me stand up, her eyes wide and her lips pursed. Kids stared
at us, clearing a pathway down the hallway as Nicole led me away.
I dont think you should be here. Im calling your mom, she said, rubbing my back.
All I could do was nod weakly, and let her take me to the office.
I sat trembling on one of the uncomfortable folding chairs in the office, the remnants of
the memory replaying in my head. My blue skirt with pink flowers on it. Amicas smile. The
sunlight in the hallway.
Hi, Ms. Thompson? I heard Nicole say quietly into the phone, I think you should
come and get Gwen.

She paused and looked over at me, then turned back to the phone. Yeah shes alright
now. I think she blacked out or something.
I took deep breaths to calm myself.
Yeah shes fine, just a little shaken. Shes acting like Well shes acting like she doesnt
remember Amica, Nicole said, her eyes flickering back over to me, Ok Ok Ill tell her. Bye,
Ms. Thompson.
Nicole walked back over to me, sitting down beside me. Your mom is on her way, she
said softly.
Thanks, I whispered, dropping my head into my hands.
Are you okay, Gwen? Nicole asked me gently.
I dont know, I groaned.
Do you seriously not remember her at all? she said seriously.
Not really, I said shakily, When I blacked out I saw I was with her. Its like I can
almost remember her, but I cant.
You saw her? Like a vision or something? Nicole asked nervously.
Yeah, sort of, I sighed. We were talking about my birthday party and I trailed off,
lost in the remnants of the memory.
The bell signaling the end of third period pulled me back to the present.
Hi, Im here to pick up my daughter? I heard my mom say.

I waved meekly at her as she came rushing over.

Sweetie, are you ok? she asked, reaching down to feel my forehead.
I nodded. I just want to go home, I whispered, a tear rolling down my face.
Call me if you want to talk, Gwen, Nicole said, rubbing my shoulder.
She helped me out of my chair, put her arm around my shoulders and led me to our silver
Honda. I slumped over in my seat as my mom pulled away from the school.
Are you alright Gwen? How do you feel? she asked, reaching over to put one hand on
my knee, First your room and now Im worried about you.
What do you mean, my room? I said defensively. I had nothing to do with that. I dont
even remember I dont remember...
My breathing got heavier. I grasped at my head as darkness encroached. The giant hand
had loosened its grip, freeing yet another memory. I could hear my mom saying my name as I
gave in to the blackness. I was standing in front of my bedroom door, wearing my blue skirt with
the pink flowers on it. It felt different this time though. When I was with Amica, my body felt
light, content. Now it felt heavy and dark. I could feel my chest rising and falling quickly, as I
tried to keep from sobbing. Expecting to find my room in ruins, I slowly opened my door.
Surprisingly, Theodore still had both of his arms, my mirror hung intact, and all the books were
on the bookshelf. Every bone in my body longed for the comfort of my soft bed. I felt the cool
hardwood floor on my feet as I dragged my body across the room. I waited expectantly, willing
myself towards the bed, even though I still had no control. Instead, I stopped in front of my
nightstand. I felt my eyes burn as I stared at a framed picture of two little girls, one with black

curly hair and a wide grin, and the other with light brown hair and cloudy, grey eyes. The black
and the brown blurred together as my eyes filled with tears. I felt my hand grasp the green metal
of the frame, and hurl it into the mirror. I jumped internally as the frame hit the mirror with a
cracking sound, fracturing it into several pieces. I reached down for my red alarm clock, yanking
its cord from the wall and heaved it at the mirror, this time completely shattering the glass that
remained. In total shock, I watched through the eyes of someone I didnt know as she broke
down completely. She slammed my desk into the ground. She beat my bear against the wall until
his arms ripped into her hands. She emptied my book case, throwing each book into the wall. She
drew angry red and black marks onto my pristine white comforter. She raged around my room in
a blind fervor, destroying everything she touched.
My eyes snapped open, and I tried to sit up quickly, sending more black spots spinning.
My mom had pulled the car over, and was rubbing my back, still saying my name.
Im alright. Im ok, I muttered as I leaned my head back against the headrest.
Is this what happened at school? my mom said, trying to make eye contact with me,
Maybe we should take you to the doctor.
Mom, Im really sorry about my room, I gulped, I dont know what I was doing.
Honey, dont worry about that right now, my mom said. If this happens again, Im
taking you to the doctor. For now, lets just get you home.
Closing my eyes, I nodded.

When we got home, I headed straight for my room. My mom insisted on walking me to
my bed to make sure I didnt pass out again. She bit her lip when she saw my room, but kept
quiet.
Ill come and check on you in twenty minutes or so, she said. Try and get some rest.
I curled up under the covers, staring at my room. I couldnt believe what I had done.
What had made me do that? I pulled the covers over my head. I didnt even want to think about
the visions that had gripped me. Why cant I remember Amica? What happened to her?
Questions continued to chase each other around my brain as I drifted into an unsettled sleep.
Snippets of the memories I had relived played in my brain as I slept. After watching
myself shatter my mirror for the third time, I woke up in a cold sweat. Resting my head on my
knees, I felt panicked. Itching to do something, I decided to start cleaning. I put some of the
books back into the bookcase. I picked up the papers that littered the floor. A chill swept over my
body as I picked up my blue skirt with the pink flowers on it. I threw it into the corner. Another
chill when I found the green metal frame that was home to the two little girls. I stared at them,
posing behind a pane of broken glass. I knew it was Amica and me. I knew it. I could tell by my
dimples and her eyes. Her grey eyes. Her eyes. My vision started to darken, the black spots I had
seen before were back. I sank to my hands and knees. The giant handed shifted yet again,
releasing another memory for me, setting my brain on fire. And then I was walking with Amica,
only this time we were heading away from school, towards the small mall that was situated
conveniently across the street. My backpack clung to my shoulders, my blue skirt with the pink
flowers fluttered in the wind, and the sun shone even brighter.

Ok, should we go to Starbucks or Chipotle? Amica asked me as we waited for the light
to change.
Starbucks, I said decidedly, Then we have to get food for my party.
Im thinking chips, pizza, ice cream, cake, everything you can buy, Amica said
excitedly.
A truck zoomed past, sending my skirt fluttering up in the breeze. I shrieked and pushed
it back down to cover my thighs, sending Amica and I into a fit of giggles. The light turned
green, and we began to cross, our sandaled feet slapping on the white painted lines.
Lets race! Amica shouted, breaking into a sprint.
I felt myself laugh and follow. I could feel all my muscles working without any cues from
my brain as I ran after Amica. We collapsed into giggles as we reached the other side.
Crap! My money! Amica yelled, running back into the street. Her twenty dollar bill
was fluttering away in the breeze, dancing just above the road.
I laughed at her, squatting in the street, doing a funny little run trying to grab her twenty
dollars that seemed determine to escape. I smiled as she picked it up and waved it triumphantly
in the air. I felt a shiver roll down my spine. My smile fell from my face, a horrible sense of
unease creeping over my body.
She never saw it and it didnt see her. She didnt see the shiny glint of the hood, the
wheels roaring on the pavement. My mouth opened wide, my throat forming a horrific scream.
Everything slowed. The car slowed, moving as if it was driving through jello. She slowed, her
mouth forming her crooked smile, her grey eyes locked with mine. I slowed, my mouth opened

in a scream and my arms flung desperately out towards her. I could only watch as the car drew
closer. Every part of my body strained to reach her, yet I too was encased in the jello. A yard. A
foot. An inch. A centimeter. Then, darkness.
A hospital waiting room.
A doctor with a tremendous white moustache.
My mom, her face buried in her hands.
I drifted back to reality, lying spread eagle on my destroyed bedroom floor, tears
streaming down my face. But the memories kept coming, as the giant hand finally relinquished
control over what Id fought so hard to never remember. I saw the doctor delivering the news, his
moustache frowning along with the rest of his face. I saw myself coming home from the hospital,
flying into a rage when I reached my room. Other older memories began to resurface, their colors
muted and their edges blurred. I saw Amica and me working on a science project together.
Watching a movie. Laughing hysterically. They continued to wash over me in wave after wave,
some cold with pain, some warm with remembering.