WrittenbyMollyCoddles

IllustratedbyJelliroll

Jenwaddledtoherdesk,gaspingforbreath.Theshorttripfromhercarhadbeenmurderon
herfeet!Sighingheavily,themassive,500poundpluscowsettledbehindherdeskand
strainedtoignoretheominouscreakingnoisescomingfrombothherchairandherclothes.

Shelookedupattheclockonthewall.Shewaslatetoworkagain,shit.Gettinghereontime
wasarealchorewhenyouwereasbigasJen.Thebrownhairedbigbootybimbocouldbarely
lugherbuttoutofbedinthemorningwithouttheassistanceofherteenagedaughter,andthen
JelenahadtohelphergetdressedandstuffherselfintoherbatteredoldCorolla(which
somehowstillmanagedtorundespitebeingover20yearsoldandforcedtocarryJensbloated
bulktoandfromworkeveryday).

Jenhaddroppedoutofcollegeat20whenshegotpregnantwithJelena,soshehadspent
mostofthenext18yearsraisingherdaughterandworkingaseriesofdeadendjobstohelp
supportherfamily.Luckily,despitethehardtimes,Jendidhavegoodsupportfromherown
motheraswellashergoodfriendsheroldhighschoolfriendsAliceandLauriewerealways
willingtohelpherout.

Forexample,Jenhadfinallylandedsteadyemploymentasasecretaryatabigarchitecturalfirm
indowntownLosHermanos.Unfortunately,Jenwasacompleteairheadwhoconstantly
misfileddocuments,forgotphonenumbersandignoredappointmentreminders.Thenthere
washerotherproblem:Herbutt.Jenwas,toputitkindly,abiggirl.Herloveofsnacksandher
dislikeofexercisemeantthat,at38yearsold,shewas500poundsofwobblingblubber,mostly
storedinapairofenormouselephantthighsandamonsterbackside.Yearsofsittingatadesk
helpedtopumpupherrearintoanadvancedcaseofofficeass.Herposteriorgrewwiderand
widerasJenspentherdaysperchedonhercomfydeskchair,munchingdonutsandcrullers.
Shedgrownsobigthatcorporatehadtodiscusswhetheritwascheapertofireherortobuya
specialchairforher.ThatwouldhavebeenthelaststrawthatwouldhavehadJenoutonher
expandingass,butsomeoneletitdropthatJenwasalsofriendswithLaurieBelmontes,a

highlyfearedlocalemploymentattorney.Notwantingalawsuitontheirhands,thepartners
insteadoptedtoignoreJensmountingincompetenceandjustbuyheraspecialchair.

Jendidntknowaboutanyofthat.Shewasjustthrilledwhencorporatetoldhertheywere
buyingheranewchair.Theoldonewassotinyanditreallydugintoherass!Thisnewone
wasmuchmorecomfortable,althoughevenitwasgraduallybecomingoverwhelmedbyJens
spreadingrearend.

Oblivious,Jenploppedatakeoutplasticbagontothedesk.Herfirstmealoftheday!Afterall,
typingwashungrywork.Shecouldntbeexpectedtowaitallthewayuntillunch

Jensextralargepencilskirtandblousecouldbarelycontainher.Herlargebreastsrestedon
herbeachballsizedpaunch,exertingenoughpressureonthebuttonsdownherfrontthattiny,
diamondshapedgapsappearedwheneversheinhaled.Bothherbellyandboobsjiggled
slightlyasshetyped,butherasswasstillhercrowningglory.Herbuttcheeksstuckoutbehind
herliketwomassiveglobes,wobblingattheslightestmovementandtestingthefrayedseams
ofherskirteverytimethatsheleanedovertograbadonutoffherdesk.Jensrearfilledher
skirtsocompletelythatthelinesofherpantieswerealwayshighlightedinclearreliefagainst
thosetwovastfleshyorbs.Sheoccasionallyconsideredswitchingtothongunderwear,since
thatwouldhavebeentheonlywaytoavoidvisiblepantylinesathersize.Butthebigproblem
wasthatJensskirtscouldnthelpupslideupherthighswhenevershewigglewaddledthrough
theoffice,soathongwouldinevitablygiveeveryoneafreeviewofherbigpinkbooty.Asit
stoodnow,hercoworkersmightcatchaglimpseofhergrannypanties,butatleasttheynever
sawanythingmorethanthatbeforeJencouldpullherskirtbackdownovertheswellofher
tubbytushie.

EverydaythatJosietheinterncameintotheofficeshewasshockedanewbyJenssize.
Sometimesitseemedliketheswollensecretarywasblowingupbiggerandbiggereverydayand
shewouldntstopbeforesheburst.Evenmoresothanhersize,Jensappetitewasalso
appalling.JensdeskwasneverfreeoffoodJosieimmediatelynoticedtheremainsofaCobb
saladnexttoanemptybagofpotatochipsandahalffinishedliterofsodapop.Jenhadjust
arrived(20minuteslate,Josienoted)sohowcouldshebeeatinglunchalready?

JosieseyefellonaframedphotoonJensdesknexttothedecimatedmeal.

HeyJen,whosthis?Yourlittlesister?askedJosie,pointingatthephotograph.

No,thatsmydaughterJelena!saidJenbrightlyasshesquintedathercomputerscreen,
strugglingtomakesenseofyetanotherconfusingspreadsheet.Sheheldherbiggulpsodacup
strawtoherherplumpredlipsandtookalong,satisfiedslurp.

Yourdaughter?SheskindaumwellJosiegrimacedasshetriedtothinkofthemost
delicatewaytosaythis.Shesabiggirl,huh?


Uhhhyeah,Iguessso.Butitslikewealwayssay:WhenyouhaveSarovygenes,youre
gonnaneedbigjeans!Jengiggledattheprivatefamilyjokebuthersmilefadedasshe
realizedthatJosiewasntamused.

Seriously,Jen,howoldisshe?

Shes,like,18.Well,sheisnow.Wehadthatportraittakelastyear,soshes,like,17there.

Wow,Jen,Idontthinkitshealthyforagirltobethisbigsoyoung.Ifsheweremydaughter,
IdputheronastrictdietbeforesheendeduplookingJosiecoughed,studiouslytryingto
avoidtolookatJensmassiverump.

Gosh,youthinkso?

Itsnotmyplacetosay,saidJosie,replacingthephotobackonJensdesk.Thatsjustmy
opinion.

JencouldnthelpbutthinkaboutJosieswordsallthewayhome.WasJelenareallytoofat?
Shedidntthinkso,butJenknewthatsheprobablywasntthebestjudge.Sheherselfwasso
bigthesedaysthatalmosteveryonelookedthintoher.Shelikedtothinkthatshewasagood

mother,shetriedherbest.Jenssizedidmakeherlifedifficultsometimes,andsheknewthat
notallthestaresshereceivedwereappreciative.WouldthatbeJelenasfatetooifshekept
gaining?Jenbitherlip.Maybeitwastimetoputherfootdown,todosomethingtospare
JelenathesameweightproblemsthatJenalwayshadtoface.

Jelenanevercomplainedaboutherweightinfrontofhermother,butshemustrealizethatshe
wasprettypudgycomparedtoothergirls.JenhadnoticedthatbothofJelenasfriendsLauren
andAllisonwhojustsohappenedtobethedaughtersofJensbestfriendsLaurieandAlice
weredownrightsvelte.JenknewthatLaurieranastricthouseholdandcloselymonitored
Laurensintake,andthatAllisonworkedhardtostayslimtoavoidlivinginherownobese
mothersshadow.OfcoursebothofthemwereseveralyearsyoungerthanJelena,butJelena
hadalwaysseemedcontentwiththewayshelooked.Wasshejustputtingonabravefront
becauseshedidntwanttomakeJenfeelbad?

WhenJenarrivedbackathermobilehome,JelenaansweredthedoorinababydollTshirtand
cottonboyshortsstretchedaroundherfatbum.Jelenawasdefinitelyhermothersdaughter.
Shehadinheritedhermothersbrownhairandhazeleyes,aswellashercheerful,flirtynature
andshortattentionspan.Butmoststrikingly,JelenahadalsoinheritedJensamplepearshape.
At18,shewasmerelytubbyasopposedtohermothersextremeobesity.Somedoctorsmight
havearguedthatweighing200poundsat18wasbeyondmerelytubby,butJelenawasalso,
likehermother,comfortableinhermegasizedbody.

HiMom,shesaid,Howwaswork?

Oh.MyGawd.Somuchdrama,sighedJenasshewaddledinside.Jenkickedoffhershoes
andcollapsedonthecouch,groaningloudly.Iamsooogladtofinallybehome.

Aw,Imsorrytohearthat,Mom.Youwantmetoorderapizzafordinner?

Jelenaalreadyhadherphoneout,thepizzaparloronspeeddial.Itwasnosurprise,the
sphericalsecretaryandherplumpdaughterorderedoutalmosteverynightbecausetheywere
bothtoolazytocook.Pizzawasoneoftheirfavoritemeals,whichiswhytheywereboth
graduallygrowingrounderandwiderovertime.

OMG,Jelena,pizzasoundssoooogood,but,um,weprobablyshouldntbeeatinglikethat.I
wasthinkingmaybeweshouldjust,like,trymakingsomesaladfordinner.

Jelenastared.Firstofall,shedoubtedthattheyhadanyvegetablesinthehouse.But
secondly,hermotherNEVERpassedupanopportunitytostuffhergutwithpizza.

Whywouldyouwantthat,Mom?

Iwasjustthinkinglike,werebothgettingalittlechubby.Maybeweshouldtrytoreducea
little.Like,bothofus.Motheranddaughter.Itllbefun.

Jelenagroaned.Oh.MyGawd,Mom!Didsomeonesaysomethingtoyouatwork?Youonly
evergetcrazyideaslikethiswhensomeonemouthsoffatwork!

No,totally!Okay,well,maybeJosiesaidsomething

Mom,Josieisfullofshit,saidJelenasullenly,Wherethefuckdoesshegetofftalkinglike
that?

Um,like,OMGmindyourtongue,Jelena,saidJen,Youtotallyshouldnottalklikethat!ButI
thinkshesright,werebothgettingalittlehuskythesedays.Ittotallywouldnthurtustodropa
fewpounds.

Jelenastaredathermotherinhorror.Mom,youcantbeserious!Whatareyousaying?

Imsayingthatweregoingonadiet!

What!?Noway!Jelenashouted.Adiet?Seriously?Thatwasbullshit!NomoreFridaynight
pizzaparties?Nomorelatenighticecreamsnacks?Jelenacouldntlivelikethat!

Totallyway!saidJen,feelingveryauthoritative.ShealmostwiltedwhenJelenastartedto
pout,butsheknewshehadtostandfirm.Whatkindofmotherwouldshebeotherwise?
Clearly,sheknewbest!Startingrightnow,wearegonnaeatrightandworkoutandtotallylose
someweight!Firstthingtomorrowmorning,youandmearegonnagoonabigjobaroundthe
neighborhood!

ThatsoundedhorribletoJelena,whoneverjoggedunlesssheheardtheicecreamtruckinthe
distance.Buthopefullyhermotherwouldforgetaboutthisstupidideabythemorning.Afterall,
Jenhadtheattentionspanofagnatandanightofsleepplusthelureofatastybreakfastwould
probablybeenoughtokillthiswholeharebrainedscheme.

***

Earlythenextmorning,Jelenawaswokenbyhermothersplaintivecries.

Jelenahoney!Comehelpmommyoutofbed,please?

Jelenayawnedandstretched,scratchingherhead.Surething,Mom.

Thiswaspartoftheirusualmorningroutine.Jenwastoowideandroundtogetupfromalying
positionbyherself,sosheneededJelenatohelphoisthermassivebehindoutofbed.Jelena

neverquestionedituntilshehappenedtoglanceatthealarmclockonthebedsidetable.10:00
a.m.?Whatthe?Jenneverroseearlierthannoononaweekend!

Stillyawning,JelenapulledonaTshirtandstumbledtohermothersroom,whereJen,wearing
afrayingnightshirtandapairofjumbopantiesnearlyswallowedinherflabfolds,waslyingin
herextrawidedoublekingsizebedwithherhipsspillingoverthesides.Shewaggledher
flabbyarmsatherdaughter.

Morning,Jelena!Areyou,like,readyforourbigday?

Morning,Mom.Jelenagrabbedhermothersarmsandtugged,slowlyraisingJentoasitting
position.Jenswunghertreetrunklegsovertheedgeofthebed,and,supportingherself
againstboththebedframeandJelenasshoulders,managedtogettoherwellpaddedfeet.Big
day?Whatareyoutalkingabout?

Um,duhhh!Thefirstdayofourdiet!Now,Jelena,thereshouldbesomeoldsweatpantsinthe
backofthecloset,couldyougetthoseforme,honey?

Diet!?Aw,Mom,forreal?Ithoughtyouwerejoking!

Jenshookherhead.Like,noway!Youjustwait,Jelena,thistimeweregonnasticktoit!Just
think,like,howmuchbetterwellfeelwhenwere,like,thinorsomething!

ThewaverinJensvoicegaveawaythatevenshedidntbelieveherownwords.Jenhated
exerciseevenmorethanherdaughter,sinceherredonkuloushipsandbunsmadeeven
walkinganordealofwobblingandjiggling.TheideathatabootybeastlikeJenwasgoingtotry
tojogwasjustinsane!

Nevertheless,Jelenaobeyedhermothersrequestandrootedthroughthepilesoflong
discarded,forgottenclothingatthebackoftheclosetuntilshefoundwhatshewaslookingfor:a
mammothsetofdustysweatpants.OnceavoraciousclotheshorselikeherfriendLaurie,Jen
hadgrownnotoriouslylazyovertheyearstothepointthatsherarelyworeanythingotherthan
leggingsandyogapantsifshecouldgetawaywithit.Shepackedherselfintoconstrictingskirts
andblousesforwork,butsheworestrictlystretchfabricsathome.Evenso,shehadnt
wriggledintothesesweatpantsforyearsand,evenasbigastheywere,Jelenawasntsurethat
theywouldstillstretchoverhermothersgargantuanrump.Shesmiled.MaybeifJencouldnt
pullthesesweatsoverherass,shedbediscouragedenoughtogiveupthewholedietidea.

Idunno,Mom,doyoureallythinkyoucanstillfitintothese?Theylookliketheyreprettyold.

Noworries,Icantotallyfitintothose!chirpedthecheerfulbimbo,genuinelynotrealizingthat
theXXLsweatsprobablywerentdesignedforherXXXXXLderriere.Comeon,bringemover
here!

Okay,Mom,canyouliftyourleftfootup?

NowitwasJensturntodoasshewastold.Theheftyhippopotamussizedwomanleanedone
chubbyhandagainstthewalltohelpmaintainbalancewhileJelenaworkedtheoldsweatsup
oneleg,thentheother.ClearlyJenhadboughtthesesweatswhenshewasmuchsmallerthan
shewasnow.TheywereastightassausagecasingsonJensenormousthighsandJelena
couldntgetthemallthewayoverhermomsbehind.Shetriedherbestbutonlysucceededin
givingJenasuperwedgiethatmadehergruntindiscomfort.

Gosh,Mom,Ireallydontthinkthesearegonnafityou,saidJelena.Imean,letsfaceit.
Youvebeenpackingmorejunkinthattrunkeveryyear.

Jencranedhernecktoseethedamage.Thesweatsmadeitabouthalfwayuphercaboose,
leavingaboutafootofbarebuttcleavageexposed.

Ohpoop,saidJen,discouraged.Like,maybeIcanjustpullmytopdownoverit.Jelena
honey,couldyoufindthesuittopinthecloset?Thankssomuch,mommylovesyou!


Yeah,loveyoutoo,Mom,saidJelena,sighing.

Thesweattopmiraculouslyfit.SinceJenstophalfwasmerelyfatratherthangargantuan,she
wasabletozipupthetop.Andwhileitdidconstrainherchubbytummyandheftyboobs,there
wasstillenoughmaterialtocoverupthegapleftbyhergiantbottomtoJensdelightand
Jelenasdismay.

Great!See,Jelena,Itotallyknewitwouldworkout!Nowgetdressedquickandwellgofora
runbeforebreakfast!

Idontthinkweshouldrunonanemptystomach,Mom,saidJelena,butJenwastoostoked
abouthernewdietplantopayanymindtoherdaughtersprotests.Alreadyshewaspracticing,
pumpingherarmsandbouncinginplacewhichonlycausedallherextrablubbertobounce
andswaywildly.

Jelenaalsohadntdoneanyexerciseinyears,sotheclosestthingthatshehadtoworkout
clotheswasanoldpairoftrackshortsthatsheusedtoweartogymclass.Theyjustbarelyfit
her,althoughitdidleaveagapbetweenhertopandbottoms,exposingachubbyrollofbelly
blubberthatbouncedmerrilywitheverystep.Moreworrying,though,theseatoftheshortsfelt
abittightandJelenacouldhearthestitchespullingwhenevershemoved.Sheknewwellthat,
likehermom,shehadabigfatassandsheworriedthatherbigfatassmightdefeattheseold
shortsifshehadtowearthemtoolong.

Mom,thesetotallydontfit!shewhined,simulatingasquatandlisteningtotheseamscreak.
Weregonnalooksooodumbjogginginthese!Weshouldtotallyputthisoffuntilwecanbuy
somenewclothes,dontyouthink?

Naw,wellbefine!Noonesevenoutyet.Wellhavethewholeneighborhoodtoourselves.
OMGthatssoawesome!

Right,mumbledJelenasarcastically.Reallyawesome.

***

JenandJelenabarelymadeitaroundtheblockbeforeexhaustionforcedthemtoquit.

Jenhadntcountedonjusthowoutofshapebothmotheranddaughterwere.Theyhadonly
madeitaquarterofthewayaroundtheblock,bouncingandjigglingliketwowaterballoons
filledwithgelatin,beforebothofthemwerewheezingandgasping.Jencouldfeelhersweats
slidingdownthearcofhertitanictushiewitheveryploddingstep,sosheconstantlyhadtostop
topullthembackup.Jelenawasnthavingmuchbetterluck,sinceherreadytosplittrack
shortsconstrainedhermovementandforcedhertotaketinylittlebabysteps.


Jelenacouldntseeherownface,butsheknewshemustbeturningred.Lookingdown,she
couldseethattheexposedflubberofherpotbellywasalreadyblushingfrompinktobrightred.
Herfacemustbeevenworse.AndJenlookedsoredthatshecouldpassforagianttomato!

Jelenahoney..helpmommyouthere!Jengasped,herplumpfacebrightredlikeafire
engine.

Here.Mom.youbetterhelpmetoo.Jelenawasntinamuchbetterstate,butshe
obedientlyputherarmaroundhermotherandthetwowomenleanedoneachotherforsupport
astheywaddledupthedrivewaybacktotheirhouse.

Thefirstdayis,like,thehardest,huffedJenastheywaddledbackinsideandfloppeddownon
thecouch.

ThetwosphericalsweetiessatgaspinglikebeachedwhalesforhalfanhourbeforeJen
recoveredherbreathenoughtotalk.

ButImjustgonnagettobednowIthinkIreallyneedagoodnightssleepafterthat
workout.

Itsnotevennoon,Mom,wheezedJelena,butshewasreadytodropofftosleepherself.

Yeah,butIjustneedtorestupabitbeforetomorrowsworkout,saidJen.Imtotallysure
thatitllbeeasiertomorrow.

Theexhaustedbimboblimpetteluggedherheavyformoffthecouchandslowlystumbled
towardthebedroom,groaningandgruntingtheentireway.Jelenastaredafterherinshock.
Tomorrow!?

OhmyGawd,IcantbelieveMomwantstodothisagain!,shemuttered,buryingherfacein
herhands.IthinkImgoingtojustdieifwehavetokeepthisup.

Jelenawasntsurewhatwasworse:beingforcedtoexerciseorbeingdeprivedofallherfavorite
foods.Infact,becauseofhermotherscrazyplan,shehadntevenhadherdailyquotaofjunk
food.Heremptytummyrumbledloudly.Thatsright,shehadnthadbreakfastyet!Withany
luck,Momhadntthoughttopurgethehouseofjunkfoodyet,soshecouldgetadecentmeal.
Jelenamadeasourfaceatthethoughtthathermommighthavethrownoutallthesugary
cerealandfrozenwaffles,leavingwithnooptionbutgasp!...oatmealandbranflakes!

Luckily,aquicksurveyofthekitchenshowedthatwasntthecase.Therewasstilljustasmuch
trashyfoodasever!Jelenaopenedthefreezerinsearchoffrozenwafflesandsausagepatties,
buthereyesfellonthehalfeatentubofmintchipicecreamstashedinthecorner.Sheand
Jenhadsharedthatwhilewatchingtrashydaytimetelevisionlastweekandtherewasstillquite
abitleft.EvenagreedylittlefattypantslikeJelenaknewthaticecreamwashardlyasuitable
breakfastBUTafteradayofhardexercise(okay,itwasmorelikehalfanhourofhard
exercisebutSTILL!),shecouldntthinkofanythingmoresoothingthanadeliciousicecream
reward.

Andhermotherwasasleepafterall

Sowhowouldstopher?

***

OH.MY.GAWD!Jelena!Areyousnacking?!

Jelenaspunaround,hereyeswidewithguilthermouthringedwithmeltedcream.Hermother
wasstandinginthedoorway,abetrayedexpressiononherface.

Howlonghadshebeeneating?Jelenalookeddowntoseethatshehadputasubstantialdent
intotheicecream.Clearly,ithadallgoneintoherfattummy,becauseJelenasnormallysoft
pudgybellywasroundandfullandcoldtothetouch.

Jelena,howcouldyou,like,dosomethinglikethat?!Werenevergonnaloseweightifyou
cheatonourdiet!

ButMommmmm,I..IIJelenastutterednervously,herchubbycheeksflushedredwith
embarrassment.

Areyou,like,eatingicecreamoutofthetub?!

Whatsthebigdeal,Mom?Weeaticecreamoutofthetuballthetime!

Yeah,butbutweshouldntbedoingthatanymore!

ButMom,thiswholedietideaisstupid!

JelenaSarovy,oooo,youIlike,dontyoutalkbacktoyourmother!Bringthaticecream
righthere!

Jelenagrumbled,butshetotteredtoherfeetandcarriedthesubstantiallylightertubovertoher
mother.

Illjusttakethis,thankyouverymuch!Andyoucanlike,Idunno,thinkaboutwhatyouve
done!

Mom!Youcantbeserious!protestedJelena,floppingupanddowninherseat.

Like,whydontyoutestme,then?snappedJen.

Ugh,fine!Jelenastormedoffasquicklyasshecouldwaddle,mutteringunderherbreathall
thewaybacktoherroom,wheresheslammedthedoor.

Angryandconfused,Jenreturnedtoherownroomandsaggeddownontothebedwithasigh.
Whatwasshegoingtodo?HowcouldshehelpherdaughterwhenJelenarefusedtohelp
herself?DidntJelenaunderstandthatJenwasdoingthisforherowngood?Didshereally
believethatJenwasputtingthembothonadietjusttobemean?ShejustwantedJelenatobe
happy,buthowcouldJelenabehappywhenshewasontheroadtoobesity?Jenknewthe
trialsandtribulationsofbeingplussizedherself,soJelenashouldknowtolistentoherwhen
shewarnedaboutthefuture!DidJelenareallynotcarethatshemightsomedaygrowjustasfat
andwideashermother?CouldntsheseetheproblemsthatJenfacedneedinghelptoget
outofbedinthemorning,needinganextrahandjusttogetdressed?Itwassofrustratingthat
Jelenajustthoughtofherasbeingthebadguyforhergenuineconcern!Sniffling,Jenfought
backtearsasshethoughtabouthowupsetherdaughtermustbewithherrightnow.
Jenstareddownatthecartonofmeltingicecreamclutchedinherhands.Sheneededtothrow
thisawaysomewhere!Thenagain,itwaskindofashametowastefood.

MaybeIlljustfinishthisupmyself,saidJen,alreadygrabbingatthespoonJelenahadleft
embeddedinthefrozencream.Thatway,Jelenawontbetemptedtogorgeanymore.

Jenliftedthefirstspoonfultoherplumplipsandshiveredindelightasthesweettastehither
tongue.Mmmm!Sheclosedhereyesandslurpeditdown,reachinginforanotherscoop,then
anotherandanother.Soon,shewasaslostinherowngluttonyasJelenahadbeenmere
minutesbefore,gulpingicecreamasfastasshecouldgetitintohermouth,fillinghersoftfat
bellyuntilitwasbloatedandroundandgoosepimplespoppedoutalloverherbodyfromthe
mountingchillinsideher.

Ittastedsogood!AndthedelightfulchillinherbellyhelpedhertoforgetthatJelenawasmad
ather.PoorJenhatedtoseeherdaughterupset,butwhatcouldshedo?Rightnow,theonly
solutionshecouldimaginewastoburyherfeelingsinfood.Jenatelikethefatpigthatshe
was,guzzlingicecreamuntilitwasallgoneandthenlickingthecarton.Heavenly!

Backinherroom,Jelenacouldhearhermotherssmackingandgruntingthroughthewall.She
frowned.ItwasreallyobviousthathermotherwasjusteatingtheicecreamthatSHEhad
bought!Thatwassonotfair!Jelenahadhalfamindtomarchrightoverthereandgiveher
motherapieceofhermind.HowcouldJenexpectherpoordaughtertosticktothisridiculous
dietwhenJenherselfwasalreadysuccumbingtotemptationinlessthanaday?!

ThenagainJelenarubbedherdoublechinthoughtfully.Theroundrumpedteenagerneeded
tofindawaytochangehermomsmindonceandforall,andthesoundofherchubbymummy
stuffingherfacewasgivingheranidea.

Hmm,Iknowmomwouldgivethisupifonlyshefoundsomethingtodistracther.Lasttimeshe
startedtalkingaboutdieting,shegaveitallupwhenshegotexcitedaboutthatnewicecream
parlordownthestreet.Thatsit!Momlovesgoodfood,Ijustgottaremindherwhatshellbe
missingifshestaysonthisdietkick.Illbetshedgetboredwiththiswholethingreallyfastif
shegotagoodmealinfrontofher.

Jelenaknewexactlywhatshehadtodo.Therewasonepersonwhocouldstophermother
fromgoingthroughwiththiscrazyplan.Shepickeduphermobilephoneanddialed.

Hello,Grandma?Itsme,Jelena.

****

Despitehergoodintentions,Jensbadhabitswerealreadyreassertingthemselves.Sheslept
latethenextday,onlyrousingherselfintheearlyafternoonwhensheheardaclatterinthe
kitchen.

Jelena?Isthatyou?

Yes,thatwasJelenasvoicebuttherewassomeoneelsewithher?Whowasthat?Didshe
inviteAllisonorLaurenoverforbreakfast?

Sinceherdaughterwasobviouslytoobusytohelpheroutofbed,Jenrolledherselftothe
cornerofherbedandgraduallyliftedherselftoherfeetbeforewobblingintothefrontroom.

JenseyesnearlybuggedoutofherheadwhenshesawthatJelenawasinthekitchenwithan
olderwoman:IsabellaSarovy,JensmomandJelenasgrandmother!

Mom!?Like,whatareyoudoinghere?

Theolderwomanturnedaround,herhandsonherownwidehips.Isabellawasaplumpold
worldmatronwholovedcookingandneverthoughtthatyoucouldhavetoomuchtoeat,
somethingthathadcontributednosmallparttoherdaughtersmassiveobesity.

Yourdaughtercalledme.Shesaidthatyoutwoaregoingonsomesortofcrazydiet.How
couldyoudothat,Jen?Iraisedyoubetterthanthat!Ohmy,Icantbelievethatyouwouldtryto
starvemybeautifulgranddaughterlikethat!

Itotallywasntstarvingher,Mom!

Yes,shewas,Grandma!pipedupJelena.Shesaidthatwewerejustgonnaeatfruitsand
vegetablesfromnowon.

Fruitsandvegetables!Thatsnotenoughforagrowinggirl!Andyou,Jen!Lookatyou!You
looklikeyouhaventeatenallday!

Mom,Ijustgotup!whinedJen,grabbingthehemofheroverstretchednightshirtandpulling
itdowntocoverherenormouspantycladthighsandbutt.Jelena,like,whatdidyoudo?Did
youcallherhere?

Jelenagrinnedandshrugged.Well,ifwerenotgonnaorderout,someonesgottadothe
cooking!

NowJen,yousitdownonthatcouchandrelax!Ivemadeyouarealbreakfast,justwhatyou
needtoreplenishyourstores.Jelena,bringtheTVtraysoutofthekitchensoyourmothercan
eat,wontyou?

ButMom,Ihaventevenshoweredyet!

Shh,Jen,donttalkbacktoyourmother!

Jenshushed.

Grandma,arentyougoingtohaveany?askedJelena,asshesetupaTVtrayinfrontofher
sittingmother.

Ohnono,Isimplycouldnt.Aftercookingallday,youknowIjustdonthaveanyappetite!

Jenstartedtoprotestthatthisdidntmakesensetoher(JencouldneverimagineNOThaving
anappetite),butIsabellacrammedablintzintoheropenmouth.

Eatup,honey!Theresplentymore!

AsmuchasJenmighthavewantedtoprotest,shesimplycouldntrefusehermotherscooking.
Jelenasmiled.Sheknewhermotherwasamindlesseater.Shemighttalkagoodgamewhen
therewasntfoodaround,butshedeattilshepoppedifyouputaplateofgoodiesinfrontofher
face.

Hmmm,thatstotallydelicious,Mom,saidJen,herdumbcowlikeeyesflutteringinecstasy.
Already,shewasstartingtodroolattheprospectofthistastyfeast.I..IguessIcouldstandto
havealittlesnackImean,wedidhavethatbigjogthisweekend

Thatsright,dear,youdontwanttowasteaway!agreedIsabella.

Right,Mom,yougottakeepupyourstrength!Mmm,isntitgood?

Andyoutoo,Jelena!saidIsabella,Yousitdownandeat!

OhIalreadyatebreakfast,Grandma,Ijustbroughtyouhereto

Jelenatrailedoffasshenoticedthedeterminedglintinhergrandmotherseyes.Cowed,she
ploppedherfatbootyonthecouchnexttohermother.

Jelena,dontyoutalkbacktoyourgrandmother,saidIsabella,settingupasecondTVtrayin
frontofherplumpgranddaughter.IthinkIknowbestwhatmytwobabiesneed.Iwantyouto
sitdownwithyourmotherandenjoyyourmeal.Letmeworryaboutthekitchen.

Jelenadidntrealizeit,butshewasntmuchbetterthanJenwhenitcametoresistingfood.So
whenIsabellaplacedaplateofhotsteamingkugelinfrontofhergranddaughter,Jelenadugin
withrelish.

Sotheyate.Andate.Andate.Allthoughtsofdietandexerciseevaporatedasthetwo
contentedcowschewedthroughplateafterplateoffatteninggoodies,barelyawareofhowtheir
plumptummiespoppedoutfurtherandfurtherinfrontofthemwitheveryforkful.

Sittingnexttoeachotheronthecouch,JenandJelenacouldntcomplainwheneverIsabella
emergedfromthekitchentoreplenishthedishesontheirTVtrays.Onehourturnedtotwo,but
thefoodneverseemedtostopcoming.Bothwomenfelttheirchubbyassessinkingdeeperinto
thecouchcushionsastheygorged,but,truthbetold,theycouldntbringthemselvestocare
muchlessstopeating.Allconversationgroundtoahaltasbothwomenturnedtheircomplete
attentiontoeating.Theonlysoundwastheclinkclinkclinkofsilverwareagainstplatesandthe
constantchompingofmovingjaws,interruptedonlyoccasionallybythegurgleofanoverloaded
belly.

Finally,whatseemedlikehoursandhours,therewasalullintheonslaughtofnewdishes,just
enoughthatJenandJelenacouldcatchtheirbreath.Bothmotheranddaughterwerestuffed
beyondbelief.Eventhispairofbigeatershadntgorgedlikethiseverbefore!

Jelenaburpedloudly,toostuffedanddrowsytoevenbothercoveringhermouth.Jelenas
stuffedbellyroseinfrontofherlikeanenormousmountain,pushingdownthewaistbandofher
cottonshortsdowntohercrotchandmakinghershirtslideuptobunchintoarollrightbelow
hertits.Mom,wevegottogetGrandmatostopfeedingusorweregonnaexplode.

Jencouldonlybelchinresponse.Herownbellywasmassive,settlingbetweenherspreadlegs
likeagiant,doughybeachball,strainingtheremainingbuttonsonherblousetothebreaking
point.Hereyeswereglazedandunfocused,barelyabletofocusonherdaughtersface.OMG
Jelena,Itriedtowarnyou.Youknowhowyourgrandmotheris.Onceshegetsstarted,thereis,
like,nowaytostopheruntilshesfinished.Like,howdoyouthinkIgotthisbig?

Jelenaseyeswentbigwithdawningrealization.Shewassousedtoseeingherenormous
motherthatshehadneverstoppedtothinkthatJenssizemighthavebeenduetoher
grandmothersrelentlessfeeding.

Jenburpedagainandmoaned.Iwastotallyhopingthatthiswouldnthappentoyou.Ohmy
Gawd,Ididntwantyoutohavetodealwith,like,this!Shegesturedathermassiverump.

Jelenasuddenlyunderstood.WashermotherworriedthatagiantbuttwasgoingtobeJelenas
eventualfateaswell?

Mom,isburp!thatwhatthisisallabout?YoureafraidthatIllbe,like,fatlikeyouwhenI
growup?


I..IjustthoughtIcouldspareyouthistrouble!Ididntthinkyoudbehappyifyoulooked
likelookedlike

IfIlookedlikeyou?Bullshit,Mom!Youlookgreat.Youknowyoudo.Yourealwayssayingso
yourself.Whatisitthatyoucallyourself?Bootylicious?Yourethemostbootyliciousbabein
town.WhocareswhatsomebitchatBURP!theofficesays?IdontcareifIgetasbigasyou
someday,Mom,cuzyoureawesomeandIloveyou!Idbeproudtobeonemorebootylicious
Sarovywoman!

Jensjawdropped.OhmyGawd,really?Jelena,youresayingyoudontmind?

Hellno!Youknowwhatyoualwayssay:WhenyouhaveSarovygenes,youneedbigjeans.
Whyfightagainstitandtortureourselvesbyeatingrabbitfood?Idratherbefatandhappyand
livingwithmyfatandhappymom!Burp!

Oh,Jelena,IBURP!loveyoutoo!IcantbelieveIwassostupid.FuckJosie!Whatabitch!
Werejustfineasweare!

Grandmasvoicecamefromthekitchen:Ihearyougirlstalking!Areyoutworeadyfordessert
yet?

AlookofterrorcameoverJelenasface.Mom,whatareweBURP!goingtodo?
Grandmasnotgonnastop!Ohhh,IfeellikeImgonnapop,Mom!

Jengrinnedsheepishly.Well,atleast,wellpoptogether.Motheranddaughter.

Jelenasmiledback.Motheranddaughter.

Jensmotheremergedfromthekitchenwithamixingbowlfullofsweetfruitstewedinsyrup.
Yougirlslookjustaboutreadyasweettreat!Whowantssomecompote?

JenandJelenaexchangedconspiratorialglances.Theybothturnedtolookatthecompote,
lickingtheirlips.

Ithinkwecouldtotallymakeroomforsomecompote,saidJen.

Yeah,agreedJelena,Bringiton,Grandma.