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I1 281 73

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loveyoureoemy?
the debate between
heterosexualfeminism
and political lesbianism
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P u b l i s h eadn d p r i n t e db y
O n l y w o n r eP
n r e s sL. t d .
3 8 M o u n tP l e a s a n t
L o n d o nW C I X O A P
April 1981
CopyrightO eachauthor.
No part of this pamphletmay be reproducedin any form
All rightsreserved.
without the written permission
of the authorand of OnlywomenPressLtd.
I S B N0 9 0 6 s 0 00 8 7

by Dark Moon
Typesetting
4-3All SaintsRoad
LondonWl I
Cartoonsby Jo Nesbitt

W e a r e p u b l i s h i n gt h i s p a m p h l e t b e c a u s ew e t h i n k t h e d i s c u s s i o na m o n g f e m i n i s t s
a b o u t p o l i t i c a l l e s b i a n i s mi s i m p o r t a n t . T h e L e e d sR e v o l u t i o n a r yF e m i n i s t s
p a p e r w a s o r i g i n a l l y w r i t t e n a s a c o n f e r e n c ep a p e r a n d t h e n p u b l i s h e di n W I R E S ,
t h e i n t e r n a ln a t i o n a l n e w s l e t t e ro f t h e w o m e n ' s l i b e r a t i o nm o v e m e n t . M a n y
w o m e n h a v eh e a r d o f t h e d e b a t e w h o h a v e n e v e r r e a d a n y o f t h e p a p e r s .l t
g e n e r a t e ds o m u c h i n t e r e s ta n d f e e l i n gt h a t w e w a n t e d t o m a k e t h e a r g u m e n t s
a v a i l a b l ei n a m o r e p e r m a n e n tf o r m . B u t o u r p u b l i c a t i o n o f t h e p a p e r a n d t h e
e o e s n o t m e a n t h a t w e a s a c o l l e c t i v en e c e s s a r i l a
y gree
e n s u i n gc o r r e s p o n d e n c d
w i t h o r s u p p o r t t h e p o s i t i o n ss t a t e d o r t h e w a y s i n w h i c h t h e y a r e s t a t e d .T h e r e
a r e a n u m b e r o f o t h e r l e t t e r sw h i c h w e w a n t e d t o i n c l u d e i n t h i s p a m p h l e t . W e
w r o t e t o a l l t h e w o m e n i n v o l v e db u t i n s e v e r a il n s t a n c e sr e c e i v e dn o r e p l y a n d
. o r t h e s a k eo f p o l i t i c a l a n d e d i t o r i a l
t h u s c o u l d n o t p u b l i s hw i t h o u t p e r m i s s i o n F
c l a r i t y w e h a v ed e c i d e dt o i n c l u d e b r i e f s t a t e m e n t s c, o l l e c t i v ea n d i n d i v i d u a l o f
o u r o w n ( O n l y w o m e n P r e s s )i d e a s .T h e s ea r e t o b e f o u n d t o w a r d s t h e e n d o f
the pamphlet.
Letters marked with a star *

have been cut

POLITICAL LESBIANISM: THE CASE AGAINST TIETEROSEXUALITY

We know that the question of whether all feminists should be lesbiansis not
new. We havehad to work out out ideason the subject becauseoften when we
talk about our politics and what it meansto say men are the enemy, with other
women, we are askedwhether we are sayingthat all feminists strould be lesbiars.
We realisethat the topic is explosive.It is somethingwe are supposedto talk
about at home and in closeand trusted groups of friends and not make political
statementsabout in the movement, lest our heterosexualsistersaccuseus of
woman-hating.Is it true that we must conceal our strong political beliefs on the
subject when talking with other feminists?We would like to raisethe whole issue
for discussionin a workshop; not just whether all feminists should be lesbiarn,
but preciselywhy we think they should be and whether and how we may begin
to talk about it more openly.
We do think that all feminists can and should be political lesbians.Our
definition of a political lesbianis a woman-identified woman who does not fuck
men. It doesnot mean compulsory sexualactivity with women. The paper is
divided into two parts. The first coven the reasonswhy we think serious
feminisb have no choice but to abandon heterosex-'ality. The secondis aranged
in the form of questionsraisedand comments made to us about the subject of
political lesbianismand the way we think they should be answered.
(l)

What heterosexuality is about and why it must be abandoned

Sexuality
What part does sexrulity play in the oppressionof women? Only in the system
of oppressionthat is male supnemacydoes the oppressoractually invade and
colonise the interior of the body of the oppressed.Attached to all forms of
sexualbehaviour are meaningsof dominanceand submiSion, power and powerlessness,conquestand humiliation. There is very specialimportance attached to
sexuality under male supremacywhen every sexual refereirce,every sexualjoke,
every sexualimageservesto rcmind a woman of her invaded centre and a man of
his pou'er. Why all this fuss in our culture about sex?Becauseit is specifically
through sexuality that the fundamental oppression,that of men over women, b
nuintained. (This strould be a book, can't really be gone into now.)

6
The heterosexualcouple
The heterosexualcouple is the basic unit of the political structure of male
supremacy.In it each individuat woman comesunder the control of an individual
man. It is more efficient by far than keeping women in ghettoes,camps or oven
shedsat the bottom of the garden'In the couple,love and sex are usedto
obscurethe realities of oppression,to prevent women identifying with each
'their' man aspart of the enemy.
other in order to revolt, and from identifying
Any woman who takespart in a heterosexualcouplehelpsto shoreup male
supremacyby makingits foundationsstronger'
Penetration
Penetration(wherever we refer to penetration, we mean penetration by the
penis)is not necessaryto the sexual pleasureof women or evenof men. Its
performanceleadsto reproduction or tedious/dangerousforms of contraception'
Why then does it lie at the heart of the sexualisedculture of this particular stage
of male supremacy?Why are more and more women, at younger and younger
ages,encouragedby psychiatrists,docton, marriageguidancecounsellors,the
pom industry, the growth movement, lefties and Masten and Johnson to get
fucked more and more often? Becausethe form of the oppressionof women
under male supremacyis changing.As more women are able to eam a little more
money and the pressuresof reproduction are relievedso the hold of individual
men and men as a classover women is being strengthenedthrough sexual control.
The function of penetration
Penetration is an act of great symbolic significanceby which the oppressor
entersthe body of the oppressed.But it is more than a symbol, its function and
effect is the punishment and control of women. It is not just rape which serves
this function but every act of penetration, eventhat which is euphemistically
describedas 'making love'. We have all heard men say about an rtppity wornan,
'What she needsis a good fuck'. This is no idle remark. Every man knows that a
fucked woman is a woman under the control of men, whosebody is open to
nren.a woman who is tamed and broken in. Before the sexual revolution there
\ras no mistake about penetration being for the benefit of men. The sex"al
revolution is a con trick. It servesto disguisethe oppressivenaturc of male
sexuality and we are told that penetntion is for our benefit as well.
Every act of penetration for a woman is an invasion which underminesher
confidence and sapsher strength. For a man it is an act ofpower and mastery
which makeshim stronger,not just over one woman but over all women. So
every woman who engagesin penetration bolsters the oppressorand reinforces
the classpower of men.

(2)

Questionsand Comments

(a)

But it soundslike you are sayingthat heterosexualwomen are the enemy!

No. Men are the enemy. Heterosexualwomen are collaborators with the enemy.
All the good work that our heterosexualfeminist sistersdo for women is undermined by the counter-revolutionary activity they engagein with men. Beinga
heterosexualfeminist is like beingin the resistancein Nazi-occupiedEurope
where in the daytime you blow up a bridge, in the eveningyou rush to repair it.
Take Women'sAid for example:women who live with men cannot tell battered
women that survival without men is possiblesince they are not doing it themselves.Every woman who lives with or fucks a man helps to maintain the
oppressionof her sistersand hinden our struggle.
(b)

But we don't do penetration,my boyfriend and me

If you engagein any form of sexualactivity with a man you are reinforcing his
classpower. You may escapethe most extreme form of ritual himiliation but
becauseof the emotionalaccretionsto any form ofheterooexualbehaviour,men
gain great advantagesand women lose.There is no such thing as 'pure' sexual
pleasure.Such'pleasure'iscreatedby fantasy,memory and experience.Sexual
'pleasure'cannot be
separatedfrom the emotions that accompanythe exercise
ofpower and the experienceofpowerlessness.
flf you don't do penetration,why not take a woman lover?If you strip a
man of his unique ability to humiliate, you are left with a creature who is merely
worseat every sort of semual activity than a woman is).
(c)

But my boyfriend doesnot penetrateme, I enclosehim

A roseis a roseby any other nameand so is penetration.Or possibly,.you can't

make a silk pune out of a boar's ear' is a more apt expresion. The kindest
interpretation is to say that believingin enclosureis wishful thinking. It would
be more realistic to say that it is a copout and a rationalisation for continuing
the activity. Enclosure,where an active vagina(helped by strengthening
exercises)sucksin a penis could only take place where a woman and a man were
born fully formed, totally innocent, onto an uninhabited desertisland (where
they might well neverdiscover fucking anyway). No act of penetration takes
placein isolation. Each takes place in a system of relationshipsthat is male
supremacy.As no individual woman can be 'liberated' under male supremacy,so
no act of penetration citn esqlpe its function and its symbolic power.

(d)

But I like fucking

Gving up fucking for a feminbt is about taking your politics seriously' Women
who are socialistsare preparedto give up many things which they miglrt enjoy
becausethey seehow thesethingStie into and support the whole system of
economic classoppressionwhich they are fighting. They will resist buying Cape
for
applesbecausethe profits go to south Africa. obviously it b more difficult
of
system
somefeminists to give up penetntion which is so fundamental to the
oppressionwhich we are fighting'
to live
It is much easierfor you in the lesbianghetto than for me. I have
day-by-day
out the contradictions of my politics which is a hard, relentless,
strugglewith the man I live with
and
That's simply not true. Living without heterosexualprivilegeis difficult
women's
in
a
living
dangerous.iry going into pubs with groups of women or
hou-sewhere youths in the street lay siegewith stonesand catcalls.
Heterosexualprivilegesare male approval, more safety from physical attack,
greatereasein dealingwith the authorities, gettlng repain done, safety from a
besiegingobscenephone-caller,being able to refer to a man in the bus queue or
at work which brings smilesof approval from women and men, let alone the
financial adrantagesof being attached to a member of the male ruling classwho
has greaterearning power.
Becausewe chooseto live without theseprivilegeswe resentbeing usedby
heterosexualfeminists as fuelling stations when they are wom down by their
strugtes with their men. Women'sliberation groups and women's households
should be a refuge and support for heterosexualsistersin resolvingtheir contradictions by getting out but should not be usedto prop up heterosexualrelation'
shipsand thereby shoreup the structure of male supremacy.
G)

(f)

But lesbian relationshipsare also fucked up by power struggles

That is sometimestrue, but the power of one woman is never backed up by a

suprior sex-classposition, strugglesbetween women do not directly strengthen
the oppressionof all women or build up the strength of men. Personalperfection
in relationshipsis not a realistic goal under male supremacy.l,esbianismis a
necessarypolitical choice, part of the tactics of our struggle,not a passport to
paradise.
G)

I won't give up what I've got unlesswhat you offer me is better

Wenever promised you a rose garden.We do not say that all feminists should be
lesbiansbecauseit is wonderful. The lesbiandream of woman-loving,barebreasted,gUitar-playingsoftballers,gambolling on sun-soakedhillsides is more

to reality, than to
suited to California,supposingit bearsany resemblance
HackneY'
include the pleasureof
But yes, it is better to be a lesbian.The advangages
you
not
directly
are
servicing
men,
living
without the strain of a
that
knowing
glaringcontradictionin your personallife, uniting the personaland the political,
loving and putting your energiesinto those you are fighting alongsiderather
than those you are fighting against,and the possibility of greater trust, honesty
and directnessin your communication with women.
Communication with heterosexualwomen is fraught with difficulties, with
static which comesfrom their relationshipswith men. Men distort such
communication. A heterosexualwoman will have a different perception and
reaction to things you say; she may be defensiveand is likely to be thinking
'What about Nigel?'Whenyou talk of women'sinterestsand the future and
survivalof women,her imaginationmay be blocked by concernfor her man and
his brothers. You feel under pressureto say nice things which will not threaten
her.
(h)

You are guilt-tripping us

No. Guilt-tripping is usedto prevent women from telling the truth as they seeit
and from talking about hard political realities. It is you, heterosexualsisters,
who are guilt-tripping us. It is possibleto stop collaborating and asking you to
do that is not a guilt-trip.
(i)

Are all lesbian feminists political lesbians?

No. Some women who are lesbiansand feminists work closely with men on the
male left (either in their groups or in women's caucuseswithin them), or provide
mouthpieceswithin the women's liberation movement for men's ideaseven
when non-aligned.It may well be that these women find it more difficult to see
that men are the enemy becausethey are treated as substitute but inferior men
by left malesand are able to feel superior to the straight women who are still
strugglingagainstsexual oppressionin their beds. They are not woman-identified
and gain privilegesthrough associatingwith men and putting forward ideas
which are only mildly unacceptableto maleleft ideology.
(j)

But you don't understandhow difficult it is to give up men

Most of us know from penonal experiencehow practicallydifficult and painful

it is to decide not to fuck againand get out from the rnn we live with and/or
love.It is usuallyonly done with the love,support and strengthofother wornen
who have made that break and whosecriticism and straight-talking spurred us

1l

10
on. We know that for some women, e.g. those with children, those with no easy
accessto the movement,and those without the experienceof living on their
own, the break is more difficult than for others and they need more time and
practical support. we know how difficult it is to find a women's houseto move
'new girl' at the women's disco' But part of
into and what it is like to feel like a
the support must be in explaining as clearly as possiblethe political reasonsfor
our own choice and talking honestly about all the difficulties with the women
who are making it.
lreds Revolutionary Feminist Group

(wrRES81)
Paperfint given to a conferencein September 1979

,t:7"*"7 ^)"9,
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1re.z4z+-,1 b'l
t"ntlqrr)

Spr,l

)/--

DearWires'
LeedsRevolutionaryFeministGroup's paper"Political lesbianism:the case
againstheterosexuality"offendedand angeredme, but I'm glad they wrote it
an6 Wiresprinted it becausethoseideashavebeenhangingaround for yearsbut
haveneverbeenstatedso baldly before.
lt's also the first time I've seenfeministsdirectly deny the principle that
everywoman'sexperienceis real,and valid, - that women havethe capacityand
the right to maketheir own choicesabout their liveswithout being told what's
goodfor them by someoneelse,or being ostracisedfor not conforming.
I know there'sunspokentensionbetweenlesbiansand heterosexualfeminists.
ofeach other - cautiousand defensive
because
it's hard to
We'resuspicious
ernpathisewith choicesthat seemstrange- evenperverse.Ihe samecredibility
gapdividesother groupsof women - mothersand non-mothers,older and
youngerwomen,black and white women.
But to canonizethosedivisionswith abstracttheory insteadof communicating with eachother - confronting them in a way that MEANS somethingto
our own consciousexperienceofour different lives,and builds on those
- well, whateverhappenedto consciousness
experiences
raising?This isn't a
vanguardcadregroup with a five-yearapprenticeshipand an entranceexam,it's
a liberation movement,for all women.
Standard,sexistheterosexualsex with penetrationas the unquestioned
pirtnacleis oppressive
to womenand tailoredto men'sinterests,
but that'snot
newsand it's not contentious.The tragedyis that women'stentative attempts
to exploreand revealand challengestandardsexualpracticehavebeen killed
stonedeadby the two commandments
that if you do it with womenyou're OK
and if you do it with men, you're out.
"If you engagein any form of sexualactivity with a man you are reinforcing
his classpower." Full stop.End of discussion.
But lesbianism,we're told, provides"the pleasureof living without the strain
of a glaringcontradictionin your personallife, uniting fhe personaland the
political, lovingand putting your energiesinto thoseyou are fighting against,
and the possibilityof greatertrust,honestyand directness
in your communicatronwith women."
What'sthe secret?My "personallife" (I'm a lesbian)is riddled with glaring
contradictions,dubiousmotives,irrational and compulsiveneedsand desires.
I havea very few friendsI really trust and none of them is a lover. I may be
unique,but I suspectfrom observationand conversations
I've had with others

L2
that I'm not. And where'sthe evidencethat heterosexual
womencan't and don't
with otherwomen?
developclose,trusting,lovingrelationships
Eventhough sexualityis sucha powerful and controlling force in all our lives,
it - it's not
thereseemsto be no spaceleft in the tnovementto seriouslydiscuss
"political" exceptwhenwe usesexualchoiceto judgeand condemneachother.
In the wordsof Janieand Andrea'ssong,"changeher, changeher, but the world
staysthe same".
If we can no longerexpressour fearsand doubtsand needsand conflicts
without beingaccusedof rockingthe right-onboat we'll be drivenback into
and isolation,and feminismwill collapseinto clenchedfists
guilt and seit'-hatred
and empty slogans.
In sisterhood,FrankieRickford.
(Wires82)

Another criticism of the Lreds Revolutionary Feminist paper " Politicallrsbianism"

I very much agreedwith what Frankie Rickford and the other women who have
written to WIRESaboutthis havesaid,but I want to add somemore thoughtsof
nry own on a ratherdifferent tack from theirs.
friend to
"Whateverhappenedto the pro-womanline?" saidmy heterosexual
me about the way that lesbiansweretreatingeachother.Fair commentit wasat
paper.The
the time and also,I think, fair commenton the PoliticalLesbianism
publislring
they
terribly
in
Fem's
though
were
being
brave
[eeds Rev.
write as
their paper,and yet it containsno realpersonalopenness,
no risk - one might
think that thesewomenwereautomatons.Or moreexactlyone would think that
in the vanguardist
they weretrying to be "cadres"(professional
revolutionaries)
Marxist tradition; shiningeyesfixed on the gloriousfuture after the revolution,
jumperscoveredin badgesand heartsbeatingto the rhythm of the right-online.
And the highestact, the test of fire which dividesthe true disciplefrom the
hopelessfool ofa liberal,is givingup fucking.
Somehowthey reducethe whole structureof male supremacyto fucking.
from men becomesthe total strategy- how exactly
Wthdrawingsexualservices
this will bring them to their kneesis not explained.
feministsfeel guilty thanit is
Of course,it is a lot easierto makeheterosexual
either to confront the structuresof the patriarchywhich go beyondimmediate
personalrelationships
or to examinein depththe reasonswhy heterosexual
relationshipshavethe hold over women that they do. Shoutingslogansabout
this sort of thingis totally irrelevant.The implicationof the Rev.Fem's
approachis that heterosexualwomen areeither stupid or masochisticand should
pull themselvestogetherand fight the patriarchyproperly - a classicliberal

13
sexistargument.Men havealwaysheld that it is only women'steeble-mindedness
women'soppression the pitying tone of this paperechoesthem
whichcauses
exactlY.
Wrat is specialabout a radicalfeministanalysisis that we say that our
is not our fault, but alsothat womenarenot brainwashed
(i.e.stupid).
oppression
need
to
look
at
feminists
why
women
do
what
they
do,
to
Radical
respectwomen'sstrengthand to try to add to it, not just to bully them out of
manifesto,an early radicalfeministmanifesto
their silly ideas.The Redstockings'
said"we take the woman'ssideon everythine".For me, bearingthis in mind is a
good way of exposingliberal arguments,and I think that the political l.esbianisnr
paperfallsdown badly.If a womanlikesfucking,radicalfeministsshouldn'tjust
sayshedoesn'tknow what she'sdoingand muststop it now, but shouldtalk
aboutother areasof life. The only pointin womenchangingtheir livesisif they
v"antto --if it is good for them. we haveto discover,aswe go along,what it is
that womenwant,not try and dictateit now.
I spenta long time asa heterosexual,
very committedfeminist,and felt
vaguelyguilty a lot of the time, but I did not leavemy boyfrienduntil I wanted
to. My processof withdrawalwaslong and painful but I think necessary.
If I had
left abruptly,in a fit ofguilty righteousness,
that process,ofthe creationofan
independentself, would havebeenleft with nothing but a senseof virtue to fill
the gapleft by that relationship.
I absolutelyrejectthe ideathat heterosexual
feminists'politicalwork is
underminedsimply by their sleepingwith men as such. on the other hand there
are obviouslywaysin which women'srelationshipswith men damagethemselves
and other women.But it is up to heterosexual
womento work out what is good
for them and I think that lesbiansshouldrespecttheir integrity and good faith in
doingthat.
on the subjectof integrity,I think that the omissionsfrom the political
Lesbianismpieceare very interesting.This is the first time, in maybe two years
stncethe groupbegan,that any revolutionaryfeministshavemade
this sort of
absolutestatementabout relationships
with men.It isn't the first time by any
meansthat thesethingshavebeensaidin the Movement,but it's the first
time
thesewomenhavesaidit. I would like to know, in personal'private'
terms, what
that meansto thoseindividuals.I think that a little openness
about their own
f'eelings,
about their own lives,would be far more interestingthan all thesepronouncements
abouteveryoneelse's.I'd alsobe interestedin why no individual
women put their namesto the piece- but the whining
voiceof the fantasy
heterosexualfeminist asksonly theight questions,
thosewhich allow the
wrltersto trot out their lovely slogans,and evade
the doubts and fearswhich
might giveus someinsight into what is really going
on with them.
SophieLaws.

(wRESs3)

15

t4
DearWires,
the
I understandthat you did not print contributionswhich contravened
Paper,
Feminist
Group
WLM demands.Surelythe Lreds Revolutionary
.,PoliticalLesbianism"clearlyand directly contravenesthe demandfor the right
arrogantpieceof
to a self definedsexuality.It is alsothe most patronising,
etc
about women.
psychology
orthodox
rubbishI haveeverread,including
explanation'
an
readership
its
I think Wirescollectiveowes
Yoursin no sisterhoodwhatsoever,
Ann Pettitt.
(WRES 83)
DearSisters,
what is wrong with the analysisin the Leedspaper?I seea flat contradiction
The Leedssisterswrite: "There is no
in it on the questionof sexualexperience.
p
l
e
a
s
u
r
e
S
.
u
c
h
'
p l e a s u r e ' ci sr e a t e db y f a n t a s y ,
s u c ht h i n ga s ' p u r e ' s e x u a l
from the
be separated
Sexual'pleasure'cannot
memoryand experience.
of powerexperience
the
power
and
of
the
exercise
emotionsthat accompany
is
experience
sexual
any
about
feels
a
woman
how
that
lessnes." They admit
to
her
relationship
and
situation
perceives
overall
her
she
determinedby how
partner,includingthe powerrelationshipbetweenthe two of them.And so far I
agreewith them. But then they go on to tell us how we OUGHT to feel in
with men: if a woman describeswhat is happeningas'he doesnot
relationsl.rips
'wishful thinking', 'a cop-out''
penetrateme, I enclosehim', sheis guilty of
Womenought to experiencesexualpenetrationby a man as a humiliation' an act
etc; and ifthey don't experience
class-collaboration,
of counter-revolutionary
that, they aredeluded.
dependson fantasy,memoryetc.,thenit follows
But if sexualexperience
that .I can be the only authority on what I am experiencingwhen I make love;
for I am the only personwho can lcnow what I am fantasising,remembering,
ice cream,or like
feeling.If I tell you that it feelslike eatingmango-flavoured
gallopingbarebackacrossa moor by the full moon, or like anythingelsethat
comesinto my mind, on what basiscanyou or anyoneelsetell me that I am
mistakenor deluded?
But morethan that, the treds sistersdon't seemto havemuch respectfor
sexualpleasureas such- or why do they put it into invertedcommasin the
piecequoted above,or compareit to Capeapples?Are they telling us that an
orgasmwith a woman doesn'tmeansheis controlling me? And is it the act of
'controf', or what? The
his penetratingme, or my orgasmwhich giveshim his
way they write makesme wonder do they evermake love to anyone,and
when they do, how do they feel about it? Whenthey come, don't they get that
sort of whooshof overwhelmingfeelingcomingup from inside,so that for a

And are they

while you don't know whereyou end and your partner begins?'powerlessness'
kind
of
feeling
that
which
could be called
sayingthat having
you?
person
control
over
If
that
what
is
they meanit doesn't
sivesthe other
coincidervith my experience.Peoplemay havecontrol over me through
(by controllingrny shelteror food supplyor income),physicalforce
econornics
or politicalpower,by rapeor the threatof it, but not by stimulatingme to
orgasm.I don't think I could experienceorgasmwith anyonewho I felt
controlledme in any of theseways.The Leedssisters,like many sexistmen,
seemto fail to distinguishbetweenrape(penetrationwithout consent)and
They don't explainHOWheterosex shoresup
heterolove-making.
pleasurable,
malesupremacY.
But secondly,I agreevery much with Sophie [aws' letter in Wires83. And I'd
like to take her argumenta bit further, for it seemsto raisesomecrucial
questionson the direction the WLM is taking. The Leedssisters'paperraisesthe
question- on what basiscan any persontell anotherhow sheshouldlive, who
which begin"How
sheshouldrelateto, etc?I keephearingthesesentences
could anyonewho callsherselfa feminist. . ." and continue,variously,". . .
smoke/eatmeat/knitin public/wanta baby", aswell as ". . . fuck men?".There
seemsto be an attitude about that the WLM is somesort of establishedchurch,
somethingexternalwith rulesand standardswhich haveto be lived up to, not a
political movementwhich we havecreated,with which we want to changethe
world so that we can tve free lives.But this attitude seemsto mean that we exist
for the WLM,not the other way round! But I don't want that - I've been
strugglingfor a long time to get away from the politics of OUGHT, of
revolution-by-guilt-trip,which must inevitably lead to an elitist classstructure
post-revolution- if we ever get that far!
What would happenif I agreedwith the keds sisters,acceptedtheir analysis,
left my collectivehome and the man who sharesmy bed,and went to live in a
right-on, Rev Fem all-womanhouse?Such a step would feel like doing violence
to a part of myself- but then,"lt's about takingyour politicsseriously"- no
sacrificetoo greatfor the cause.My sisters,of course,know more about The
Causethan I do, and now I've seenthe light I'm agogto learn from them.
They'vebeen at it longer than I . . . And if I get momentsof missingmy old
home and the man I used to "love", the jokes and cuddlesand strugglesand
day-to-dayliving which I usedto sharewith him, well, that is counterrevolutionarybacksliding,and I must repressit! So I distrustmy own feelings
and reactions,and so haveto rely for guidanceon my sistersto tell me what to
do and what to think. And before long, there I am - supportinga new elite,
thoseright-on feministswith the raisedconsciousness
...
"kft to carry the burden of the higherconsciousness,
membersof this elect
will tend to seethe peoplearound them as at worst, bad,lazy, consumedwith

17

16
t h e d e s i r e | o r m a t e r i a l a c c u m u l a t i o n a n d s u n d r y d i v e r s i o n a r y pthey
assions.atbest.
level ' ' ' Beingan elect means
igrorunr, needingto be hauledto a higher
they haveto do everything'And
can rely on no-oneand beingan electmeans
the treacheryand insensitivity
.i*uvr'rf,. weigl.rtof tlie burien of responsibility,
of eueryoneelseis bearingdown on them'" kninist "vanguard" of the left. It is
S'eira Rowbothamwrlte that about the
many of us cameto the WLM in the
to g.t a*ay from this kind of politics that
first place.Do we really want it here?
andtakenup a lot of spacewitl]out
I seemto haveraisedlots of questions
sayingwhat I want from the WLM' I
by
gettingvery far. PerhapsI'd bettlr end
pulling eachother to pieces'I want to
iuunt u'feeiingof pulling together not
eachother,but alsoof how we
betterhow we aswomencansupport
understand
a S w o m e n o p p r e s s e a c h o t h e r . A n d l w a n t a f e m i n i s t p o l i t i cor
sw
hichtakesinto
hypocritical
und i"u't', without tellingme I'm deluded
accountmy fantasies
to understandthe internal blocks wtrich
when I fuck men; Uut *ftittt enablesme
as fully to the RevolutionasperhapsI might!
preventme from contrlUuiing
"*t""
we
it a politics of the unconscious?I think
Perhapswhat l am suy'ngis,
needone.
Love and sisterhood,PennyCloutte'
(WIRES 84)

t.
Eawtufe- o+ Lu 5T' aut cvtrl"l
T\vt Vowl nlere- senstl4l Tahfica4tdu
,-,''
o +'te (;lzsn
^i41r.
lvreluhr,M>t'DYs
our 6o4ie.s are fcmTp-s + fr4e-+Jol'1Ghosf I
o,4r Pqy+s atz s;qcreol - le.!- no ch<p lamy.r
with +nevq -1U"1 qre ho+ oqrc jo.,buset.

.'Politicalksbianism": SomeThoughts
saidin the articlemakesperfectsense.It does
On a very cold logicallevel,what is
conclusionto feminismand basicallyI agreewith what
natural
the
be
to
upp.u,
is written'
But what happenswhenone triesto convert"theory" into "practice"?I
perfectlywhy I shouldfeel angryabout women"collaborating"
understand
with menand thereforeshoringup patriarchy;but I don't feel I can turn round
friendsthey're"wrong" (sureI think they'rein a shitty
and tell rny heterosexual
seern' rintlessenough
situation,and they know h<lwI feel).Their relationships
just
to me but can I reallydismissother women'sl-eelings like that?
I believein the right and ability of every woman to reachher own wellview.I know that the majorityof women in our societyat present
considered
But I feelthat
probablydon't havea very feministanalysisof their relationships.
-spending
a
lot
of energy
feministshavespent and are
a lot of heterosexual
that
they
living
a contraare
trying to work out their situation,and DO realise
'small
group'
meetingI went to in Brighton,and with
diction.Certainly,in the
other womenI havetalkedto, this hasbeentrue. And they havesaidthat they
arepreparedto live out that contradictionat present,althoughthey can seethat
theremay comea time when they areno longerpreparedto do so. ls this nol
takingone'sfemhism "seriously",giventhat one is open to change?(lt is not
- I
aboutheterosexuality
the sameassayingone cannotseeanythingoppressive
that
believe
think women
this tend to drift off into the maleleft.)
do
I guesswhat it basicallyboils down to is the questionof whether"hetero
sexual"feministsareat someinferiorlevelof consciousness
to "political lesbian"
ferninists.
(The articlecould very well be interpretedin this way - this is where
the ideaolelitism comesin ?). I know that I'm not as "sussed-out"as some
womenwho'vebeenin the movementfor years,but it still getsup my nosewhen
womentalk about "seriousfeminists",as thoughif you don'thappento be as
acutelysensitive
you are as they this minutethen you can't be
of how oppressed
tn earnest.Surelythe ideaof consciousness
raisingembraces
the fact that we are
rzl/constantlybecomingincreasingly
awareof our contradictions/compromrses,
etc?
My personalexperience
hasbeenthat, asI becamemoreinvolvedin feminism,
I found it harderto relateto men: so that now (giventhe limitations of living in
this society)I am moreor lessseparatist.
But feminismwasnot the initial cause
of my breakingoff of (sexualanclemotional)relationships
with men;I didn't
llaveany "right-on" "ideologicallysound" reasons
- I just didn't like them.
(A naturallyinferior analysis??).
I do not feel in much ofa positionto be saying
'it
canbe doneif you reallywant', and that otherwiseyou're not takingyour
politicsseriouslyenough.I gues I just don't seethingsin termsof "absolutes".
Also.I think that because
women aren'tcold logicalbeings,but are emotionally
invoivedwith "their" particularman,it is obviouslyNOT goingto be painlessly

19

18
easyfor thelnto resolvethings.It's no gooddoingsomethingyou may agreeis
logcally "right" if it isn't what you're feeling.
(althoughmy "feminist
I can'tseewontengivingup tnenwholesale
this). I supposewhat this article
like
things
tells me I shouldn'tsay
conscience"
I'M takingmy politics
whether
question
hasreallydone for me is makeme
seriouslyenough.
Gilly Heron,
(Brighton& HoveWomen'sLiberationNewsletter,February1980)'

Somethoughtson the Political ksbianism discussions

is not only the LeedsRev.Fem.paper;that is ONE statePoliticallesbianism
of mine/otherslivespolitically'
ment. For me. it is aboutlooking at all aspects
Sexualityispolitical,personalbehaviourispolitical.TheLeedspaperslrows
maledomination'
symbolises
clearlyhow heterosexuality
but to be a politicallesbian,a lesbian
political;
itself
in
To be a lesbianis not
madeto societyon a personallevel'
challenge
the
of
feministis to be conscious
socialstructures'It is not escapism
challenge
to
norms,
to
To refuseto conform
societyin all areas,in
permeates
domination
male
since
from maledomination,
be alesbianonly
To
avoided/evaded.
be
It
cannot
lives.
ofour
all dimensions
the contradictionon a personallevel.It doesnot, in itself win the
elirninates
with rnen,howeverliberal/
revolution.It is importantto realisethat relationships
liberatedthosemenare,areascribedwith a politicalpower relationship'Rather
that on a personallevel,politicallesbians
thanput energyinto challenging
chooseto fight on otherlevels'
to fight with men'
I think that therearesituationswhereit nay be necessary
to organisewith men,to achievecertainends.But, as a feminist,if I chooseto
work with men,I shouldnot be surprisedat the problemsand conflictsthat
with women'
entails.And, asa feminist,I preferto work/organise
There
changingideasand beliefsis part of a process.
Confusionis necessary,
etc
seemsto be a fearof claritylrowever,or ratherthat statements/papers are
'last word' on a subject.We mustbe ableto supporteachother in
takenas the
workingout our ideas,and thesechange.Weneeda balancebetweenbeingclear
and beingallowedto saywhat we believe,and beingtolerantand patient.There
is a fine line betweensayingthingsstrongly,and imposingbeliefson others.I do
on
not want to compromisemy own ideas:I do not want to haveto be censored
'heavy'
'alienating
for
a
other women',I do not mind beingcriticised
the basisof
approach.
'holier than thou'
I do not believein hierarchiesor elites,and think that a
approachis wrong.But neithershouldwomenhaveto deny theirideas,

or beliefs.Elitismis a tlnction of insecurityasmuch asanything

perceptions
else,PernaPs'
Adi.
(Brighton& HoveWomen'sLiberationNewsletter,late February1980)

D e a rS i s l e r s .
It it irony oriust retributionthat at the very time I'm realisinghow
important to me and my hopesof survivalthe WLM is, I feel
desperately
Againand againas I've readthe Political
excluded/denied.
increasingly
psbianismpaperand the lettersthat havefollowedit I've screamed,
"but this
it just isn't true for nre.
lasn't got anythingto do with me and my life", because
r'urdif I'mnowrevealedasthe all-timecollaboratorwell I'll haveto bearit. I
spentthe first 20 yearsof my life struggingagainstthe straitjacketof my father's
dogmas,and the last 10 fallingvictim to everypatriarchalcreedexceptIslam.
flalf way throughmy life I won't acceptthat any womanknowsmy life and
betterthan I do myself.
experiences
privilegeand the advantages
a bit about heterosexual
I kn<-rw
I haveasa
woman.(I don't think whetheror not I fuck makesany difference
heterosexual
- closetcelibates
don't havemuchimpact on patriarchy.)I've seenhow
- the constantpressureto see
insensitive
heterosexual
womencanbe to lesbians
private,the waysin which many
who a womansleepswith asher own business
of us refuseto truly considerwhetherall men arepotentialrapists,the waysin
which we crawland conciliate,not just with 'our' menbut with many others.
And all the thingswe can't/won'tseeabout women'soppression,
exploitation
and degradation
because
it would bringup too many questionsabout us and our
'choice'of
r e l a t i n gt o m e n .T o e v e nr e f e rt o r e l a t i n gt o l n e na sa ' c h o i c e ' s e e r n s
suspect,
asit impliesthat we haveconsidered
openingourselves
up to the
possibilityof relatingto women. Many of my feminist friendsare wary as I am
ol'relatingto/sleeping
with women.For me the reasonis that I'm afraidbecause
womenare too importantfor me to trust rnyselfwith.
Oneof the thoughts/realisations
I've had that upsetsme is a feelingthat
femi.ism/theWLM (is therea right one?am I exposingmyselfas a sellout
liberalby usingthe wrong words/phrases)
is somethingout there.A feelingthat
I'm not a properfeministand don't deserve
liberatingbecause
I'm not behaving
properly.I've felt this vaguelyalways,but beforeit's beenbearable.I've joked
aboutrny hair (neithercroppedor long),the fact that I like to wearskirtsand
bright coloursand seldomdrink or smoke.
WhatI feel now isn't funny, it's terrifying.I feel I'm beingtold there'sno
room for me. Either I comeout asa lesbiantoday,or preferablyyesterdayor

2L
20
? or, is heterosexualenjoymentbasedon sexualviolence?
why I Liked Screwing
elselcrawlawayandsufferinsilence.Iseemtohavelosttheangerthatonce
Whenlwas5lplayeddoctorsandpatientswithmylittlegirlfriends.Themale
fuelledmeinmybattleforsurvival,orperhapsit'sbeentransformedintothe
eldestgirl, "made" the restof us take our knickersoff and
;:r;r;r, playedby the
t i e s p e r a t i o n t l r a t l b r c e s m e t o w r i t e t h i s w h e n i t h u r t s a n d l , d r a t h e r bany
eanywhere
us.At 8, I playedgypsygirl;dressedonly in a
l
"tortured"
perhaps
she
if
*hile
,."a a"*"
-don'tdeserve
doinganythingthanstttingherealone'wondering
horrorsforcedon me by somelord of the manor.A
nameless
,rtri r tanrurtzed
r e l i e f , w o n d e r u r g i | t ' m n o t w o r t h l i b e r a t i n g . E v e n s o l s t i l l b e default,
l i e v e t hthe
atloving
by
as RomanSlavein the MarketPlace;nakedand
alesbian
herself
to
be
want
7
fantasized
iri.n,i og..f
wonlenisn,t the sameashatingmen. I don't
men to see'
women,not becausethey are not men'
chainedwith legswide apartfor
womenI carefor, I love becausethey are
about;
to
lie
me
for
important
too
Inlg6g,aged22,lread"storyofO"andmyhorroranddisgustwas
This is too urgentfor me to evadeand
that
ultra-guiltyrealisation
the feminismof the l'eeds
of
by the then unspoken-for-many-years,
expression
true
the
be
deepened
may
lesbianseparatism
'the
book
from
a turn-on. Passages
att ttreother womenwho agreewith them
,.udtnt of O's total degradationwasto me
RevolutionarvFeministgroupand of
penetratedme and howeverl-a;t
that becauseI don't conform to
cameunbiddento tny mind when myboyfriend
but they can't tell me orlny other woman
the personalis political'and I believeit
I barrislredthem they worked I did enloy it more'
their standardsl/we aren'tieminists'If
groupsrevealed
the
and
experience
own
my
Neverdid I speakof this,evenwhen womenin sexualityc'r
to affirm
is, then I havethe right/responsibility
and dreams how in order to cclmethey
fantasies
what I'm trying to
their own hatedmasochistic
whichierivesfrom it' (ThoughI know
politicalperspective
the woods
all the phraseswhich hoverover
had to think of the man in the raincoatwho'd flashedat them in
consciousbecause
uneasy/self
:;-f i;;i".i
to
their rninds
through history women'sliveshave
whenthey were l5; how imagesof rape,beating,bondagecame
this pageseemunfeelingiyinttfftt*al)- Al1
thinking
from
get
away
It's only recentlyI've beenableto
whenmasturbating.
by men' everyaspectof our experience
beenignoredby womenand classified
powerof,
the
I,m a bit of a pervertand it's all my fault, mainly throughrealising
i g n o r e d u n t i i o n e o f u s m a n a g e d t o h e s i t a n t l y e x p r e s s i t a n dwomen)
thenitw
a
s
d
e
n
i
e
d
/
to
n our lives.
for us (and I mean
m a l es u p r c m a ciY
obliterated.Now it seemsas tt,ougt'tthe chance
society.we aIe
our sexualityhasbeenconstructedby male-dominated
s u r v i v e i s b e i n g l o s t b e c a u s e w e c a n ' t / d o n ' t r e s p e c t e a c h o t h e by
r.lfawomantells
a generally
accept
broughtup to kow-towto men in everyareaof bur lives,
not enoughfor me to respond
me I'm intimidatingand middleclas it's
We
a
escape?
possibly
in
the first five yearsof my life
lousydealin jobs,pay etc. etc. . . How can our sexuality
thinking, well, I'm frightenedtoo and I spent
for
just
fight
to
we
have
luve to fight to begin to define it for ourselves, as
b a c kt o b a c ki n W g a n .
the
respect
just
I
should
this'
everythingelsethat'sours that hasbeentakenawayfrom us,or neverallowed
done
['ve
and
l'm not really middle class
women
the
As I hope all
in the first place- control overour bodies,our fertility,
growthor expression
wofinn enoughto honestlyconsiderwhat she'ssaid'
a
as
me
me and dismiss
our right to do any sort of paid work, a cultureof our own ' ' '
who read this splurglewill do and not just categorise
repressed'
are' are
Sexualityis too often talked about in the Women'sLiberation Movementas
lesbianor whatever'What I am' and what we all
repressed
each
and
as if it growsin us freeand unfettered.But in a
affirm ourselves
somethinguntouched,separate,
distorted,exploitedshaton women;andif we can't
imagesof
is
too
that
society,would I haveidentifiedwith degraded
non-rnale-dominated
and eachother anything
other ratherthan denyingin ourselves,
and
for
the
orgasms
reach
put
faking
with
up
'doesn't fit; I really believewe may as well giveup and
womenand found them erotic?would I have
painful or
it
that
accepting
heterosexuality
feigningheadaches
for 2 yearsof monogamous
valium.
years
of
me
4
it
taken
wasmy fault and that I must be frigid? Would have
DianneGrimsditch,keds'
bisexualitywith feministsto finally push the last man out of my bed (with much
(wIRES 86)
guilt and fear)and say"I'm a lesbian"?
Reading it through
1980'
I'm not sayingI neverenjoyedsexwith men. I did. But I suspectI enjoyedit
January
in
wrote
I
spiel
a
long
This is an extract liom
my
clear'
was
most whenI wasmost "on the bottom", most "giving",not beingapparerttlyin
I' As I hope
a year later there dre tw) points I'd like to make'
Feminist
control bouncingaround on top gettingsore,but beingscrewed(providedhe
the LeedsRevolutionary
angufshwasn't onllt becauseof my distressat
by
betrayed
didn't go on and on and on, mind you). As i grewmore feministI couldn'tlet
and
exptoited
paper, it was alsobecauseof ither things' principally
it
and
read
find
that happenwith men I sawas"equat" or "superlor" to me in age,status,
if any men
2 men I had tried to tntst' 2 I wrote it for women;
educationetc. so I chosea much youngerand lesseducated"pretty boy". With
it uninteltigible andfor threatening' tough'

23
22
position and think Qrcversayl)
hirrrI could abandonmyself in the missionary
on eventhat becameimpossible
went
time
thingslike..He',srny master".But as
he oppressedme as much as a
anyway
last?
(hoi could sucha relationshipever
and more from men' towards
more
away
n,unu, all the othersdid), ani I turned

of socialconlrol of womenby men

carefullyfosteredmechanisms
+ romanticlove= slavishemotionaldependence.
rnasochism

paperssays(in Sexual
sexualviolencec<-rnference's
As a womanin one of the
- ThreeWomenSpeak),justafter her initiator hasbeenreally insultInitjation
y o u w a n tm e , R o n " '
women.
i n g t o h e r " l ' m y o u r sa sl o n ga s
R e l a t i n g s e x u a l l y t o w o m e n , o r b e i n g a c e l i b a t e l e s b i a n , l s t i l l s o m e t i m e s h a v e Wren I put this paper(slightlydifferent,and without lhe two paragraphs
I hate themand fight to acceptI'm not alone'nor a
fantasies.
nrasochistic
above)in wIRES 90, the main in fact, frustratingly,theonly reactionwas
answeris to welcomeanclrevelin them as"natural"'
the
believe
.,Aren't
I
don't
plucky
I don't
little
soul'
as
a
it's
nice
to
be
seen
While
you brave".
feruert.
of my sexuality'I think
you
going
for
to
trash
it.
No
fentinist's
about
was
so
brave
I don't think they comefrom my own self-definition
reallyseewhat
grewup asa meansof adaptingmy
I
as
there
grew
and
plantei
you
if
achieving
reveal
character
traits;only
*.r.
your
own
disliked
,h.y
actmittingto
that
you'reproud of that'spraiseworthyand difficult and suggest
s e x u a l i t y t o t h e d e m a n d s o f a h e t e r o s e x i s t s o c i e t y w h e r e m e n a r e s u p r e m e l y i n sonrething
generalise
fromyour
political
to
try
decision;
to
the
same
come
control.
othersrnight
wasjealousof my boyfriends
and that of many other womento createpoliticaltheory;and/orfind
I don,t recallbeinga victim of incest.My father
experience
for
butthisseemstrueofalotofwomenlknow.Mymotherwasthedominant
meanings your behaviourthat put the blameon men; it's for this that
my particularfamily
parentwithin the 4 wallsof our home' But I don't think
feministswill riseup to censureyou, stop speakingto you, etc. For a long time
in the Women'sLiberation
to speakabout masochisrn
backgroundis relevantto all this'
it's beenimpossible
malesupremacyat
sexualitychallenge
of the way this ideahasbeenusedagainstus,by men.
because
Tie stirringsof our own self-defined
Movenrent
we won't havea truly selfthat'swhy they stay,they're
"Womenlike beingbeatenby their husbands,
itsroots.But until we haveendedmalesupremacy,
lives.It's fightingfor this
our
and
bodies
they say,as an excusefor doingnothingand letting the situationgo
definedsexuality,full control overour
rnasochists"
- fair enough- but it
thatwillendma|esupremacy.Yes,Ithinkwehavetogetoutofmen'sbedsas
on. No, that'snot true, we say,we aren'tmasochists
To raisethe topic at all must be anti-feminist.
partofachievingtlris-butno,I'nrrrotadvocatinggoingtobedwithawoman
stopsany furtherdiscussion.
;.for politicalreasons",or "to further the revolution"- would any womando so
from
So now I'11be "brave": I think womenare influencedto be masochists,
canbe and is a politicalas well asa personalchoice
and "enjoy" it. In a world
anyway?Sayinglesbianism
a very youngage,so that we'll becomeheterosexual
doesn'timplY that, doesit?
whereall rnenhavepower overall womenntaintainedby the useor threator
into
So - my sexuality,and that of many many other women' wastwisted
possibilityof sexualviolence,isn't it inevitablethat our sexual
ever-present
which cameout most stronglyin my fantasies,which made me
nrasochism,
dealingswith men shouldbe filled with suchthings?And this in itself is a form
e n j o y b e i n g s c r e w e d , w h i c h g a v e m e a n e x t r a t h r i l l ' M a n y w o m e n h a v e h e e n of sexualviolenceagainstwomen.
into reality,
turnedon by "Story of O". Many of us havecarriedour fantasies
practiceswith
A F'antasy:a stimulusto sexualarousal,that is, a necessary
sexual
or helpful accomhur:riliating
extremely
initiated
or
indeed
haveput up with
or
bed'
the
to
paniment
tied
be
person.
Physical
to
with
another
asking
to
masturbation
sexual
activity
off,
or
him
to
suck
hint
before
r',.n,iik. kneeling
anally'
one
arousal
vaginally,
But a fantasy
one
would
or
without
the
fantasy.
be
impossible,
more
difficult,
simultaneously,
male'lovers'
by
rwo
beingfucked
men,
with
can
life
thoughts
everyday
be
and
less
stimulating
into
deliberate,
than
this.
conscious
Sexually
over
carries
humiliation
this
what about the way
joked about?who
irnages
are
your
or
making
love
insulted,
that
masturbating
come
to
mind
when
slaves,
unbidden
like
be
treated
to
ourselves
how we allow
along
was
helped
a
form
she
unless
you
them
develop.
now,
of
fantasy,
them
immediately
or
let
banish
implies
whether
that
girl"
all
with
a
being
could "enjoy
So areerotic dreams.The peoplein the fantasymay be faceless,
or engagein
by masochism?
sexualactivity which is outsidethe fantasiser'sactualexperience.
financially
are
all
go:
not
to
else
nowhere
has
woman
battered
Not every
it was/is,
Many women havefantasieswhich entirely consistof, or haveelementsof,
dependenton their man,or havechildren.Amonghippiesfor instance
sado-masochism,
in
live
let
him
fter
S.S.,
of
lookedat, tied up etc. etc. In
out
bestiality,rape,beingpassive,
a
man
to
support
woman
for
a
common enough
discussion
while
him,
mother
that
the two in the groupwho
with
it
turned
out
women
in
treds
and
basically
lterself
his
drugs
score
fter accommodation,
b,adalwayslcnownthey were lesbiansdid not have,and neverhad had, any ol'
hasno
she
say
And
she'll
throughout'
him
by
betrayed
and
up
gettingbeaten
thesesort of sexualfantasies.The rest of us had had. Obviouslywe can't
loveshim. (And hereentersthat other aspectof
.t,oi.., but to stay,becauseshe
and
grafted
Seneralise
anythingfrom so smalla sample- but it isinteresting,nevertheless.
Romantic[,ove:two artificiallyconstructed,
women,soppresslon,

24
and the rest,would we get into "l'm yoursaslong as you
Without masochism
want nle, Ron"? Wouldwe, indeed,evergetinto Ron at all?
J u s t i n eJ o n e s
and help to revolutionaryfeministsand
With many thanks1brdiscussion
other womenin lreds.
Papergiven at Leedsconferenceon Sexual ViolenceAgainst Women,

22-231r1181.

DearSisters,
and
I think I know what the womantneantwho saidthat shewasimpressed
and wonderedwhy womenwere
inspiredby the militancyol the suffragettes
not preparedto take suchactionnow. Wasn'tshetalkingabout actionsattacking
the powerof women(whetheror not it's
asserting
nralepower,specifically
This is quite
into that category)?
historicallycorrectto put the suffragettes
cometo that, but
differentfrom womenfightingwith nren,or independently
your
about,
i.e.
examplesare
towardsthe sameend,which is what all
(this
pay
is
unsupported
by the
often
in NorthernIreland,equal
Republicanism
part
v.
the
wage
labour
capital
of
unionsand maleworkers,but it is still
nationalliberationarmiesin the third world,and fightingthe cuts.I
struggle),
their "angerand militancy"
don't think you shouldcall womenarrogantbecause
isn't necessarily
in theseforms.Everywoman'scommitmentis important,but
thoseof us who believethat workingin maledellnedstruggles
is to collaborate
primarilyto thosestruggles.
with the enemyobviouslywon't commit ourselves
But why mustit be "alrogant" or even"racist" to sayso?I'm alwaysdiscussing
my viewswith other womenand I try ttl persuade
them that what I think is
right,and what they do is try to persuademe that what they think is right throughrelating
surelythis is one way we developa ferninistconsciousness,
(arguing)with eachother.I think it's unfair to assume"all the restof us are
inferior,is what is reallybeingsaid." I'm surethat isn't true.
It's not a questit-rn
of assuming
a womanis weakto believethat shecannot
enterinto a sexualrelationshipwith a man on her terms.I assumethoseterms
would includeequality.Wehaveto look at it in its socialcontext- the personal
is the politicaletc.,the balanceof powerdoesn'tevaporatein the bedroomdoes
it? I happento believethat an equalrelationship(of any kind) is impossiblein a
situationof unequalpower,e.g.betweena teacherand a pupil, a bossand a
secretary,
a generaland a private,or me and my cat. That isn't becausethe
are strongor weak,is it? And yesI know lots of women
individualsthemselves
"heterosexual
haveexperienced/do
experience
desire",but I don't think people
who challenge
it arenecessarily
seeingit as"an ideologicalconstructdesigned
by

25
patriarchyin its own interest",althoughit obviouslyservesthernwell.
The irnportantpoint at this momentin time is not whereit's comingfrom
becomesa
but whereit's takingus to. Nobody is insistingthat everywornan
practisinglesbian(practicedoesn'talwaysmakepert'ect)- the Leedspaper
is about stoppingsleepingwith men,
doesn'tdernandthat. PoliticalLesbianism
that it will be a lot harderfor thosewomenwho enjoy
asI seeit. I appreciate
I wish I could giveup meataseasily.t find it very
sleepingwilh rnen.Personally,
becauseI reallylove eatingmeat- my lantasiesare
ftardto be a vegetarian
ustrallyabout pork chops.But I am slowlycomingto the realisationthat my
of animals,so I know
eatingmeatis contributingto the exploitation/oppression
I nrusttry harder.I couldn'tbeginto do it until I believedthat, and how I got
thereis by other womentalkingto me about it and trying to persuademe that I
wasdoinga bad thing. That didn't makethem "arrogant",neitherwasit a case
o 1 - " e d u c a t eadr,t i c u l a t em, i d d l ec l a s sk n o w sb e s t " .B u t I u n d e r s t a nydo u r g u t
that you ought to giveup somethingyou like. I
reactionto womensuggesting
often. I mustadmit, call my friends"bloody smugkilljoysfor trying to put nle
off steakand rarnkidneybeanstewdown my throat at everyopportunity."
This may not be a very coherentletter,but I bet it's the first time lesbians
havebeencomparedto kidney beanstewl
JeanClitheroe
sisterhood,
( w t R E S9 0 )

ol LLi31.
B.{qfz
I fllFowl
64r't+a
V'le
*bre.q.nqlt+'t6rz 4+ |Yqr h'r+b ,/}14n lh
vP ttrl
lo\ie

w)e

for ui
t rcc.rd
ov fhe
bq*laheldl

i\

h"+- t"r

-1
b",11

26
Political ksbianism - lvlark II
in the Women'sLiberationMoveCurrentlya time of crisisis arisingfor lesbians
that thereis a moveon to silenceus and I feelit is importantto
rnent.It seen.N
understandwhy that is and to fight it, for all womento fight it. Thingshave
beencomingto a headthroughcurrentmovementdebateson (or against)
separatism,and the argumentaround male children.Thereis a backlashagainst
our autonomy.
of the movement.
of] the socialatmosphere
. . . [This is partly because
. . . Lesbianfeministsgo to the few fenrinistsocialsand discosthat are organised
. . . by womenin the movement.There [it] is the behaviourof lesbianswhich
women may fear which is challenging.Lesbianshavespaceto flex
heterosexu.al
their/oursexuality.Not in a sexualway but with bravado.The strengththat we
gainthroughbeingautononousof mensexuallyis paradedarrogantly.This
socialspaceis the only spacewhereit is possibleto freely do so.Nor is it
get from being
the strengththat lesbians
necessarily
a bad thing,for it expresses
lesbians.But often it is expressedin a maleway through male mannerisms,
in straight-dyke
attitudesand behaviour.It conespondsto the old role-playing
and heterothroughbeingmale.to lesbians
barsand is sexist.It is oppressive
sexualwomen alike. lt treats other women as smalland inferior. Such behaviour
patronises
and treatswomenasinvisible.But it is not lhe sameasmen doingit.
herselfas muchasthe womanto
suchbehaviournegates
The womanexpressing
just
police
in our headstellingus how to
male
the
whom it is beingdone.It's
get
divided
frorn one another,which
we
behavewith women;which means
this is to acceptmale
like
To
behave
meanswe don't trust oneanother.
standards
of how to impresswomen,andnot to believein yourself,that you asa
women
lesbianwofilanare important.havecredulity,matter.Heterosexual
though
level.
too,
on
a
sexual
another
not
always
way
toward
one
bel.rave
this
other
and
turn
heterosexual
been
to
increasingly
The resultsof all this have
I do not think thisis justified,nor is it fair, but it
womenagainstlesbians.
happens.On a personallevel it meansthat heterosexualwomen and lesbians
distrusteachother more - politicallyin the movementit createsevenmore
sptts and seeminglyirreconcilabledifferences.At meetingsbacksare
immediatelyup, whateverthe issue.Workingtogetheris much harder.HereI
could go on to explainthe increasingpressureson lesbiansfrom the media and
societyat largeto attempt to justify the behaviourevenmore. I'11just givetwo
examples;one is a film calledWindows,which may soon be on releasein this
womanshesees
country,and which is abouta lesbianwho wantsa heterosexual
asher lover. Sheis rebukedby this woman and so hires a man to rapethe
woman and so turn her againstmen asshehopes.The plan backfiressomewhat
and the heterosexualwoman goeson the rampagekilling men. This film is meant
to illustratethe depth of lesbianfeelingsfor women (which is accurate,I would

27
theseare.ln
sav) , but still wantsto declarehow horrendousand destructive
a1l
the
old
particular
stereotypes
of
Woman
as
Seducer,
Tigress,
in
thisfilm
Dangerous
evoked.
Evil,
are
Thus
lesbians
can
be
shown
Witch,
once
Insatiable,
other
to
women;thus
we
are
again
divided.
different
be
to
again
the strugglefor lesbiansto get'fair'coverageon the tv
A secondexample,is
'Gay Life'. Lied to at everycornerand negatedanywayone wonders
programme
is nothingto do with malehotnosexuality
anyway
if I *ur worth it. Lesbianism
why
we
should
be
implicated
in
their
balls-ups.
coverage
see
The
of
I
don't
and
as
usual
tluoughout
minimal
the
It
is
faced
was
series.
time
we
up
to
lesbianism
us.
We
men
hate
challenge
them
through
that
utterly
our
sexuality;
they
fact
the
and under their thumbsand control,if they
will fight to keepus heterosexual
lost
this
they
will
have
turn on us with all theirvenom- and their
they
tliat
feel
porveris mighty.As lesbianswe havesainedso little. Is it any wonderthat with
the might of their poweragainstus we shakewith fearand thus try to dror.rnit
out in other ways.To escapefrom it. Or - if we valueit, try to recreateit in
ourselves.
our oppresionis 'dcluble'becausewe haveno male protectorsor
As lesbians
individuaipolicemento hedgeus againstthe wrath of malepowerand domination.Olrceit is known that we do not allow men to own our bodiessexually,
they will makeall attemptsto hck us into submission.
Because
we presentto
them,in somepart, the freedomthat other women may obtainfrom them. We
standout because
we show that it is possibleto liveautonomously,on a personal
level.without men.They cannotbearthis.They will retaliateto keepother
womenfrom doingso. If they haveno poweroverwomenthen they are powerless.We renderthem impotent,this realisationfor menis their real fearof
women.
I wantedto write about separatism.
whichis somethingthat all lesbians
participate
in to differentdegrees
(hereI am referringto lesbianfeminists).It is
necessary
in our struggleto take awayfrom men asmuch time and spaceand
energyaspossible.
Not only because
we needan autonomousWomen'sLiberation
LiberationMovementbut becausethat time and spaceand energyis ours,and
menwould all too willinglystealit from us in any way possible.
is
Separatism
vital to our edstence.It is not alwayspossiblefor us to be totally separatist
but
we needto strivetowardstotal separatism
because
it is orir strongesttactic
againstthem. Somewomenfeel that hatingmen is. I agreethat womenget much
strengthfromhating men and'gettingintouch with the angerthat this generates.
I needto feel my hatredat leastonceevery<lay.But takingtime and energy
away lrorn them is evenstronger.It meanswe havemore control over ourselves
and our own lives- to be able to decidewhich are the wayswe want to work
most effectively.They simply cannot stand this. It drivesthem literally crazy
not to get a reactionfrom us. Our reactionsto them givethem credulityand
Power.

29

28
The reactionaryattitudesof womenin the movementtoday towardslesbians
are,I feel,born ofjealousy.ThesereactionsareSexistand comandseparatism
for approval
petitivein the usualwaysthat wolnencompetewith one anotl'rer,
'freedoms'of
private
individual
the
envi<lus
of
are
wornen
from men. Heterosexual
And frightenedof them at the sametime. Justas we aslesbianswere
lesbians.
onccso terribly frightenedof leapingacrossthe chasmbetweenheterosexuality
and the controlthat
their weaknesses,
Our strengthschallenge
andlesbianism.
is the
that
Heterosexuality
wrote
tfte
Furies
is
why
theni.
This
over
havc
men
oppression
the
it
comes
to
up
when
We
are
front
of
Supremacy.
cornerstone male
of womenbecausewe take the rap for all womensteppingout of line. The
chargeof'lesbian'I still believestrikesterrorin the heartof many a heterosexual
woman.At sonrelevelshewill wish to disprovethis to men,be shefeministor
not.
women that they will alwaysbe trapped(in
disproveto heterosexual
Lesbians
If thereis fear of eonfront'
relationships).
heterosexual
or
motherhood
marriage,
then resentmenttowards
part
women,
of
heterosexual
the
on
ing this challenge
It
is sexistand showsa
boat.
the
we
rocking
are
again
ensues.once
lesbians
or at ieast
to understand.
not
women
by
heterosexual
of
definitelack awareness
from.
Often
actually
coming
lesbians
are
where
about
read
about
or
try to talk
often
many
The
pain
our
comingout.
the
of
to
of
speak
very
little
space
is
there
yearsof self-doubtand self -hatred,the utter terrorof feelingandknowingthat
one is that different.I do not believethat it is much easierfor womento come
out in the movement.If it is, all well and goodand maybewe arereallygetting
For most womenthis is not the case.
somewhere.
womenof the agonyof becominga
But to speakopenlyto heterosexual
the lesbian
to them. In the veryact of understanding
lesbianis itselfa challenge
they haveto relatethis to their own personalsexualexperience.
experience
that
they too arewolnen,becausethey too feel.In understanding
Because
womenbeginto see
arenot differentfrom other women,heterosexual
lesbians
possible.As
that potentiallyany womancanbe a lesbian- it is conceivably
to be
they know that thereare strongpoliticaland personaladvantages
I'eminists
madeby womencomingout aslesbian.Apart from the fact that only women
to livingwith a man
can truly love women.So somewomen resignthemselves
and beinga feminist, somewomen refuseto see,somewomen strugglewith this
conflict all their lives- othersalsocome out as lesbian.This doesnot meanthat
somedo not seewhat thereis to be gainedby beinglesbian,it just meansthat
the chailengeis too frightening.The reasonit is so frighteningis to do with our
own individualstrengthsand gainsand our pastlives.It entailsan openingup to
womenon a sexuallevelas well as on a socialand politicallevel,it is more than
commitmentand trust and solidaritythat is involved.
I am very frightenedof the lack of sisterhoodtowardslesbiansand the lack of
at this particuiarpoint in our history.It
of our specificoppression
understanding

another,as I've saidbefore,but nlore,it turns f-eminists

dividesus from one
as the rest of the world. It is not lesbianism
well
that is
as
lesbians
against
It
is
but
heterosexuality.
heterosexual
women,
with
movement,
the
in
exclusive
generated
lesbians
male
not
women,
of
by
society,
by
who
fears
unfounded
with men and hold them close.If they are so strong,
closettheir relationships
to
discussion?
If the heterosexuality
open
of thesewomenis so
not
they
are
why
is
it
not
written
of
and
why
discussed
more
openlyin the
then
rooted
deeply
pinch
to
know
I'm
the
because
feeling
right
now,
and
|
need
movement?
trouble'sabrewing.
who silenceheterosexual
womenbut men - may I reiterate.
It is not lesbians
havebeentakingthe blamefor too long,I'm certainlynot goingto
Lesbians
13keit any rnore.Weare the oneswho initiatemoreeventsand activitiesand
in the movementbecause
we havemore time and space
and conferences
nreetings
to do thesethingsin. It is at greatpersonalexpensein our lives,becauseof the
painswe havesufferedin the past and the discriminationwe still sulfer at the
handsof men,that we havethis time and space.We do not go out and get drunk
on it (not all the time anyway)we giveit to women.Not to get greatrousing
we do it for ourselves
as muchas
cheersof thank fr<lmour sisters,but because
for all women.We can givein somewaysmore freely becausewe have fought in
the past to be able to do so. The cost is high but the payoffs areimmense.We
believeit or not arestill in the minority in the Women'sLiberation.Movement
wearealsoa minority amongwomenin society.
I do not want the voicesof lesbiansto be silencedin the movement- thereis
a tendencycreepingour way. Wehavemuch still aboutour specificoppression
to understand
and uncover.Nor would I want the viewsof heterosexual
women
to be silenced.But I do feel that I haveneveryet reador heardanywhere,
heterosexualfeministsspeakingopenly and fully of their heterosexualprivilege
andhow they dealwith that, or justifyingin feministterms,their relationships
with men. Thereis still spaceto do that in. Power to all of the women - or to
none.
MarlenePackwood,RadicalFeminist.

Dearsisters,
It's obviousby now that I'm heterosexual,
and I'd like to take up your
tnvitationto discuss/think
about my privileges.
Your letter didn't threaten/
frightenme into silence,but my ideasarevery woolly and unsurecos I've never
written them down before.
You'reright. It isn't lesbianswho silenceme, but neitheris it men - it's
myself.I don't want to be lessright-on than my lesbiansisters- so I shut up,

31

30
I
conningmyselfthat sincethey'vebeenthru' it all, I've got nothingto say'
don't supposethis will be completelyopenand full but this is a start'
asa free choicenone of my choicesin this
I don't seemy sexualpersuasion
concerned,I don't feel
free,but, asfar asindividualrelationshipsare
society'are
by
.o.r..d into beingwith individualman/men.A1lmy life I've beensurrounded
all
his
for
who,
father
women - a strong-naturedmother with six sistersand a
faults,didn't expect more or lessof me for beingfemale a circle of close
of
friendswho werernoreimportantthan boyfriends and latera succession
are
male-dominated
communalliving/workinggroups,which altho' numerically
families'
preferablefor me to couples/nuclear
joke and then.
a teenage
wasinevitableand lesbianism
At first heterosexuality
and I had to
option
it wasa real
lesbians
assomeof my friendswere/became
of
agony
the
that
decide.Marlenetalksof the challengeto womenlike me
and
safe
warm
sisterhood,
becominga lesbianis. To me lesbiansseemto form a
what
I
to
do
me
to
up
attractivewith nrefirmly on the outside'And why? lt's
believe
I
things
for
risks
want, and I can't fool myselfthat I don't dareto take
to
resigned
in. It must be that I don't want to be in there.I don't meanthat I'm
dismiss
I
don't
but
ratherthat it's what I want at the moment
heterosexuality,
it asa possiblefuture.
privileges?
The freeclomto talk about my lover
ArnI clingingto heterosexual
openly(wnicn l rarelydo asl'm me, not half a couple)the right to physical
contactin public,the chanceto fulfil my desireto be a mother,the bond with
the majorityof womenwho arehetero.I can't seethe answerto that clearly'
But
I've nothingto compareit with but my rosy viewof lesbiantogetherness.
when
pubs
easier
is
in
work,
at
yes,dealingwith malechauvinismin the streets.
of
convinced
to
be
has
who
a
dyke
in theory,and not
iney ttrnkl'm available
and
their
of
in
spite
individuals,
few
love
a
I can
the error of her ways.Because
my faults,it's easierto toleratethe millionsthat oppressme. But I still getangry.
my feminism.The idealist
I think I do feel that beingheterocompromises
to all individuals,while the
freely
you
relate
should
world
saysthat in a perfect
men is upholdingthe
to
relating
that
and
do
we
ctul't
l-.ulirt,uy, that Now
all
theory.
that's
quo.
But
sexiststatus
with men in feministterms?1feel that my
How do l justify l|ly relationships
at nightsriddledwith self doubts.Maybe
awake
lie
don't
realitydoes.I certainly
I should.
with menare
doesn'tthreatenme, but perhapsmy relationships
Separatism
I am ableto
that
I
hope
intend.
I
don't
that
of
separatism
an implicit criticism
not
mine'
are
which
personal
choices,
women's
respectand support
I've neverfelt alienatedby individual lesbianwomen (only by someof the
lettersin WIRES), maybeI'm lucky in who I've met, or maybe I've an oversenseof my own importancewhich doesn't allow thesefeelings.
developecl
Neither do I envy tlict frccdom from malepower. I don't feel dominatedby

and tren as a sexhavepoweroverus all. (ls this an illusion?are

inclividuals
from collectivemalepower?)
freed
lesbians
Liz Wilkie.
In sisterhood,
(wIRES e2)

Dearsisters,
to MarlenePackwood's
article
I want to write down a few pointsin response
PoliticalLesbianismMark II. In particularI am intrigued by the challengeto
privilege"and how I dealwith it
"speakopenlyand fully" of my heterosexual
with men".
and to justify "in feministterms" my "relationships
I seethe reasons
for heterosexual
feminismastwofold. The first
Basically,
factoris "life-situation".By this I meanone'sbackground(whichin my case
for example).Also,thereis the "time-factor".It simply
includesCatholicism,
doestake a long time to shedall our conditioing.In fact, I would go furtherand
saythat this is a continual,on-goingstruggle.
Taking the secondchallengefirst, how do I justify, in feminist terms,my
with men?I would saythat relationships
relationships
with men(in my case
in fact) arean integralpart of the on-goingstruggleto be a
only one relationship
ferninist.I seebeinga feministasan on-goingprocess,
not a staticor finite one.
Menplayedan equalsharein the developmentof my feministconsciousness
(thoughmostlyin a negativeway, i.e. by beingoppressors)
so that now, as a
feminist,I feel the needto work throughthoseformativeexperiences,
re-forming
them;sortingout whereI may havemisreadsituationsbecause
of my own
sexismand whereI failed to seeoppression;turning silent pain into vocal anger,
angerinto theory,theory into practice takingprogressively
more difficult
stepsto turn the personalinto the political,in other words.
AIso,a relationshipwith a bloke is basicallyan ego-trip;sototally lackingin
feministperspective
aremen. Thiscan alsobe incrediblyfrustratingwhen one
cannotget throughbecausethey lack eventhe most basicunderstanding.
As a
teacherby natureand profession,I derivea grealdealof satisfaction
from
"Enlighteningthe lgnorant".At the sametime, I learna lot myselfby trying to
Put thingsacrossto others.
I seecloseness
with womenas a stagebeyondthis,but it is simplyone which
I ltavenot reachedyet - exceptin my dreamsand phantasies.
I lack the social
skills and self-confidence
to eventry to "chat up" anyone.I hope to acquire
them in future. But, at present,I am the "all-roundreducedpersonality".I
rnow I am missingout on the greatestand deepestpleasureby not havingreally
closerelationshipswith women and I suffer for it - very painfully at times. My
problemis turningknowledgeinto action.
One obstacleis that I havea deep-rooted.if naive.belief that the context of
lovingshouldbe a beautifulone,aswell as the relationshipitself.The women-

32
only havensyou describesirnplydo not fulfil this need.I want Sappho'slrsbos
for a// women;poetry,spiritualharmony,aboveallfreedom.Therealityyou
but thereI
relationship,
describeis far from all this.(Yes,so is a lteterosexual
haveno illusions).I drearnof lesbos,I'm savingup all my moneyfor it, but,
until we get there,therearecold, rainydaysto get throughandparentsto
please.
I try, like a// womenbeforeme, to makethe bestof a bad situation,to build
to me. I think I do very well. It
asmuchas I canwith the few toolsavailable
(of
which
I
never
tire),harshwords,honesty(which
arguments
meanscountless
give),
now and againto clearthe air. It
it
means
break'ups
well
as
take
as
I can
principle
not
sellingmy soul to the state.It
getting
on
married
not
means
meansremainingchild-freeat all costs,so that I havespaceto write, study,
teach;to work for feminism,for all children.It meanspayinghalveswhenever
we go out (even though he is wealthierthan me). It meanstelling him that I only
put up with him becausehe is the leastabominableversionof his speciesI know.
It meanshopingthat one day I will be strongenoughto fly away.(And, yes,it
meanssomecompromisesmeanwhile,but alwayson my own terntsand constantly under review).
privilege",my blokedoesnot fit the stereotype.E.g.he
As for "heterosexual
will not travel round tondon in the dark for fear of gettingbeatenup. (He can
just about managedaytime, though not by tube always).He fits the stereotype
of a man like I fit the stereotypeof a woman- i.e. not at all.
In my own casethere is a vast discrepancybetweenthe ideal and the actual this is wheremy feminismspringsfrom. It is alsowhere the possibility for
friendshipwith maleslies.
'80.
Paulhe Maniscalco.25th June

(wrRES
e2)
Dearsisters,
Why doesMarlenesayheterosexualwomenare jealousof lesbiansbecausethe
Male society,male
lesbians'strengthchallengesthe other women'sweakness?
structuresarebasedon only feelingstrongat the expenseof someoneelsewho
has to be weak. I object to being consideredweak by my sisters!Why can't we
etc rather than as feeblelosers
all be acceptedasstrong/energetic/striving
becauseof our sexuality?I havea long term (sexual)relationshipwith a man I
love, many other friends(a few male) I alsocareabout and severallong term
deepfriendshipswith women I love. But I don't considera sexualrelationship
more important or valid than a non sexualone. I don't live with my male lover
'male protector or individualpoliceman'Marlenementions.
so I don't havethe

33
I feel much morewomanorientatedthan man orientatedbut I don't seeany
reasonto turn away from the few men I do like.
Am I, to Marlene,talkinglike a white middleclassman who sayshe isn't
I hopenot. I getenoughaggravation
from men in this world they run
privileged?
guilty
feel
to
towards
having
the
(lesbianand straight)I loveand
women
wirhout
witlt.
identifY
I havehad with other womenhavegrown from long
The sexualexperiences
- ratherslowlyperhapsbecause
we'reso ultra anxiousnot
standingfriendships
eachother.
to pressure
I love the ideaof all womendiscosetc (thoughin practiceI usuallyfind such
eventscliqueyand unwelcoming)but would hatethe sort of pick up atmosphere
one thing I loveabout beingwith womenis theabsenceof
Marlenedescribes.
broodingsexualtension.The ability to hug and kisspeoplewithout havingto
'backdown' laterand makeernbarrassed
excusesor apologisefor seemingto
l e a dt h e mo n .
I reada lesbiannovelist'sdescriptionof straiglrtwomenwho unintentionally
sexualityby acting'liberal'andkissinglesbiansistersjustin a
denylesbians
lriendly way. That really confusedme. Is my sisterlylove lessvalid than sexual
interest?
or arn I coppingout because
my friendshipwith womenis, unlike
lesbianism,
no threat to malepower?
Yet I feel heterosexualfeministsare alsoa threat. Not in the overt violent
way men understand
so easily,becausewhile my first loyalty is to women,(and
secondto the world we live in which men haveso atrociouslydamaged)I don't
particularlywishmen any harm. But I do want an end to their power and
since
they can'tunderstandthis might alsobenefitthem asa sideeffect,our battles
as
feministsmust be threateningto their security.
Loveto all sisters,JanetWright
(\\TRES93)
'Political
l,esbianism'A ksbian FeministCritique.
PoliticalLesbianism
is not new or exclusiveto revolutionaryfeminism.Not so
verylongagowomenwho discovered
or rediscovered
their.lesbianism
through
theirinvolvement
in the wLM wereoften regarded
as .poiiticallesbians,.
Indeed
manylesbianfeministsregardedthemselves political
as
lesbians
preciselybecause
the cluestion
of their sexualitywasan integralpart or their feminism- it wasa
veryco.sciouschoice
for wonten.For the very samereasonlesbiansmoving
wtthin more conventionalgay
circlesregardedthesenew political lesbianswith
somesuspicion.
At the heartof their gut feelingsthat we werenot .real,lesbians,
'4v an Importantpoint for beinga lesbiandoesnot meangettinginto women
oecause
of our politicalconvictionsalone- it means,in addition,a growingand

35

34
comrnitlnentto women-- a femaleeroticism.Somewl-ntto
fundamentalsexual
t n d a sa l e s b i a nw h o
nly surprisa
e n di n i t i a lh o r r o r .a sa r e v o l u t i o n a rfye m i n i s a
I found myself
wLM.
involvernent
in
my
through
my lesbianisrn
discovered
t
o
w
a
r
d
s
'
p
o
l
i
t
i
c
al el s b i a n s ' t h aI t
k
i
n
d
o
f
a
t
t
i
t
u
d
e
s h a r i n gt o s o r n e< l e g r eteh e
first
cameout. The
gay
I
the
scene
when
on
fronr lesbians
myselfencountered
hasbeen
which
political
lesbianism
of
reasonfor this liesin the definition
adoptedby revoiutionaryferninists.
is quite clearlydefinedin termsof women's
Firstly,politicallesbianism
s i t h m e n o r r a t h e ri n t e r m so f t h e l a c k o f t h e m .T h e
s e x u arl e l a t i o n w
theoreticalbasisfor this is clear.Womencannotcolludewith the enemyin such
in
way. As a lesbian,however,I haveneverdefinedmy lesbianism
a t'undarnental
to
prirnary
importance
has
always
been
of
it
rerrnsof my relationswith nren
with women.
in termsof women'srelationships
me to definelesbianisrn
whether
lesbianism,
just
question
of
semantics),
(and
a
this is not
Secondly,
and our
Movement
Women's
the
by
both
been
used
always
we like it or not. has
a
sexual
includes
which
women
between
a
relationship
eneniesto describe
The term is therefclrenot synonymouswith women-identified
cournritment.
'comeout' as
the needto
havealwaysstressed
lesbian-feminists
Indeed,
women.
the centralityof sexualityto our
they recognise
lesbianpreciselybecause
feministstruggle.It wasand still is of politicalimportanceto be openabout the
lact that we are womenwho, in particular,havechosento be involvedin sexual
with women.Impliedin a rev fem definitionof political
and erotic relationships
that you do not haveto havesexualrelationswith
is an assuntption
lesbianisnr
womerito be a politicallesbian.Rightly it is arguedthat feministsshouldnot
Equally,however,
by becominglesbians.
haveto provetheir politicalcredentials
womenwould arguethat neitherdo
many women,particularlyheterosexual
by not sleepingwith men - that is a
they haveto provetheir fenrinistcredentials
minefieldwhich I proposein this articleto avoid.(l leaveit to our heterosexual
sistersto raisetheir own criticismsin that respect).
Sufficeit to say that as a lesbianfeministone dangerin the revolutionary
the
which I canseeis that it displaces
pt-rsition
on politicallesbianism
t'erninist
politicalinrportancewhich feministshavealwaysattachedto the sexualareaof
our lives.{n particularit ignoresthe importanceof women'ssexualrelations
with other womenwhilstrnakingthe questionof whetherwomenhavesexual
For
relationswith men centralto the wholedefinitionof politicallesbianism.
as feminists
whetherdefiningthemselves
me, and I suspectmany otherlesbians,
or not. a wornanidentifiedwotnanwho doesnot fuck men is not a lesbian.The
prefixingof the word politicalto lesbiandoesnot alterthe position.As a
the politicalimportanceof womennot having
revolutionaryfeministI recognise

sexualrelationswith nren.As a lesbianfeministI feel it is wholly wrong to

l r a c t i c ea sl e s b i a n i s m
po
, l i t i c a ol r o t h e r w i s e .
c l e s c r i bseu c ha p o l i t i c a p
l e m b e ro 1 ' t h eB i r m i n g h a nRr e v o l u l i o n a rFy e m i n i s t
F r o m a n i n d i v i d u am
group'
w o m e n ' sl i b e r a t i o nn e w s l e t t earn d W I R E S9 4 .
. ' \ p p e a r efdi r s ti n B i r m i n g h a m

D e a rS i s t e r s ,
I wasrr'tborn a Rev.Fern.or a lesbian.The changesI've madein my lil'ehave
o l ' t e nb e e nb e c a u sIe' v e f e l t u n h a p p y i t ' s b e e nl a t e rt h a t I h a v eu n d e r s t o o d
the
for that miseryand as f'erninist
perspectives
liaveshedlight on my life so
r.easorts
w i t h o t h e rw o n r e nt o f o r m n e w u n d e r s t a n d i n g s
i l o r c o f t h a t l i f e h a s b e e ns l r a r e d
nry
l-eninisrn.
change
It
so
is
and hasbeena constantprocessand no single
and
e v c n t ' c a u s e d ' a ncyh a n g e(st h o u g hs o m es i n g l ee v e n t sl i k e t h e A b o r t i o nM a r c h
'laststraw'quality).
havea
I don't think my experiences
of my father,rny ex-husband,
the men I work
"with" arevery dift-erentfrom any other woman's.This is preciselywhat we
shareasferninists sorneunderstandings
of how men controlwomenboth at an
individualand structurallevel.The differencebetweenme and someother
f e m i n i s tiss n o t t h a t I ' r n r n o r e ' r i g h o
t n ' b u t t h a t I ' v ec o m et o t h e c o n c l u s i o n ,
because
I haveabsolutelyno evidenceto the contrary,that lllenare not goingto
tlndanrentallychangeunlessforcedto. Yes and nry bloke wasdifferenttoo I
neverwasheda nappyfor a rnonthaftereachof rry two childrenwereborn. . .
blah . . . blah.Yet in the final analysiswhenhe lelt too threatenedby the
assertion
of my feminisrn(to which I mightadd he had introducedme) he
merelyinvokedinstitutionalforce on his side.lle chosewhenit suitecihrm t<_r
stopbeinga "nice bloke" and usedwhat wastherewaitingfbr him. For two
yearshe threatenedto take rnethroughthe courtsfbr the kids on the groundsof
a lesbianrelationshipwhich he had encouraged
so that I would not leave.
Ultinratclythe definitionsof what a womanshouldbe are nraledefinitions
backedby powerandif any r.nanchoosesto work with other detinitions,he may
equallywell at any time chooseto givethem up. I anrnot preparecl
at any level
to makemyselfvulnerableto anyonefor whom it is a personalchoicewhether
they do or don't invoke'the nrassive
amountof power they have.
Sincemen do havepower,wl.rether
they chooseto exerciseit or not by rape,
violence,economiclneans,definitionsof femininityor wrratever
and sinie that
poweris in relationto the powerlessness
of women thenif we aregclingto
removetheir powerwe haveto start by refusingto be defirredin
relationto
rnenl.

This meansnot only withdrawingdependence

on them, but alsosupportto
.
thenr.If we continueto supportthenrwhy shoulcl
they change'?
This is not an

36
- thereis no rainbowcornerwherewe canbe left
argumenlfor total separatism
on their shitty
aloneto createa new beautifulworld. Men haveto be challenged
that they couldn't do theirjobs
behaviour,they haveto be forcedto recognise
without a slaveat homeand we can only force this recognitionby withdrawing
Not all womencanleavetheir men,some
so that they supportthemselves.
at the moment they love the man
Sornebecause
becauseof economicreasons,
that they can't or feelthey can'tand address
they'rewith. But let'sacknowledge
that, not that there'sno reasonto.
Somethingelsethat wassaidwasthat RevolutionaryFeministshatewomen'
womensayabout
I don't hate women.I clon'tdisregardwhat heterosexual
the first thirty
with menwhich would atnountto disregarding
their relationships
painful becausethey resonatewith
yearsof my own life. I find those discussions
all thoseexperienceswhich both mademe leavemy bloke and to feel grief about
the pain of workingthroughthe processleadingup to
it. I don't underestimate
not supportingmen.That pain is not borneof trying to implementsomeright-on
rule like 'Neverbuy goodsfrotn W.H.Smith' but ratherof the slow realization
that the man/rnenyou love, work with, strugglepolitically with etc. are retaining
overyou and other
their powerby the useof countlesscontrol mechanisms
that bite you. I do
hands
the
you're
feeding
that
women.You realiseslowly
what I strongly
processes.
But
these
through
to
work
have
think that women
of mine and
analysis
any
terms
of
in
be
silent
I
that
must
told
being
object to is
destructiveon
the
it
Seems
freely
comment
We
may
experiences.
women's
other
nessof isolatedmotherl.rtndand concludethat demandsshouldbe madeon each
other for taking responsibilityfor eachother'schildren. But we may not
of a heterosexualwoman'srelationshipon
comment on the destructiveness
that part ofher
herselfandother womenandvalidatefor her and ourselves
which wantsout.
Thank god a woman (socialistfeminist) told me in no uncertainterms to
stop pissingabout and leavemy husband,that womandidn't havean unlimited
fund of energyto pour into me to enableme to survivein that relationshipwith
him. I knew what shesaidwas right though I did feel along with the shock that
shedidn't understand.Sheunderstoodall right, for what shehad sussedwas that
I wantedit both ways,the love and support of women and the relativeprivilege
wldch accruedto me by relatingto a man. So although I don't hate women and I
don't think it is right to heavywomen and pretendthat withdrawalis easyI also
get pissedoff when women defendtheir heterosexualprivilege,when insteadof
comingcleanand sayingthat it's the security,the status,the "normality", the
socialacceptabilitywhich they do not want to giveup, they screamat me for
being"moralistic"and "judgemental"and for "not takingseriouslytheir
experiences".

g7
of men undermalepowercan be
I just don't know what their experiences
from
different
mine
and
which
don't include the realizationthat
so
which are
opt
back
can
into
structures
which
bloke
clobberwomenwheneverhe
thisnice
good
experience
that
this
is
maintained
at the price of her not going
and
chooses
he
chooses.
Heterosexual
women
are
on borrowed time in
living
than
further
I
own
security
and
suspect
are
less
honest
about their
their
than
of
terms
(when
they
about
at
speak
them
all
in
the
movement)
in order to
relationships
veil
tenuous
security.
This
in
effect
draws
a
over
what
we
that
shareas
defend
power
male
in
experiencing
our
daily
lives
and
what
we
should
be
women
I
think
this
is
insidious
control
and
sometimes
unbearable.
Far
from
discussing.
"right-on-nes"
hierarchy
of
from
operating
iesbian
man-hating
supposed
this
womendown to heterosexualwomen, I often feel I'm leastacceptablein that I
can't evendiscussmy politics becauseI will be hurting a woman'sfeelings.Well
my feelingshavebeenhurt by men and I want to be able to talk about it. This
Yes I do hate rnen
bringsme on to the next bundleof confusions- man-hating.
- the men in my family for the way they haveconstantlybelittled the women,
madeslavesof them and igrored their needs.I hate the men at work who refer
to womenstudentsas"little girls" and who have decidedin their wisdom that
I hate the Principalsof the
thisis not offensivebut a term of endearment.
collegeswho think their institutions must haverugby pitchesand barsbut not
creches.I hate my father for his egocentricityand the way he hasleft my
mother uptight and emotionally crippled and for his questionsabout whether
"old Anne" (my lover)haseverhad a relationshipwith a man (wassheevera
real woman?).I hate my ex-husbandfor the yearsof absenceof realnurture and
for the fact that he didn't want the careof his childrenbut he wantedme
definedasan unfit mother. I hate my ex friendsand lovers(male) for the way in
which they havesmuglyregardedthemselves
as different by virtue of relatingto
a feminist. Iast but not leastI hate the men who rape,batter, murder and
objectify women - I hate them all.
But I don't walk around the world havingfits of gratuitouscruelty. As a
teacherI am not indifferentto the fact that black malestudentsaswell as
femaleexperiencea greatdeal of racismon the courseor that gay men are
subjectto an enormousamountof very polite queerbashing(it's called"personality problems").I put a greatdeal of energyinto fighting againstall this not
becausetheseare men I know and thereforedifferent but becauseracism,
heterosexismor whateverare inhumaneand inhumanity is preciselywhat's at
issue.
In my own life I'm still working through my relationshipto my ex-husband.
He'snot a total turd (few of them everare) and the childrenlove him. I do a lot
to make that relationshipwith their father possiblebut I alsovalidatetheir

38
of who he is asa man.Whenthey say'Daddy'sa bit sexist'
awareness
increasing
or'Daddy doesn'ttakeusseriously'l do know what thosekids arefeeling.But I
am goingthroughthe processwith them (painfullyand all overagain).But in rnakingtheir relationshipwith him as easyas possibleI inevitablysupporthim in
his falsebeliefthat he is a totally wonderfulfatherand doinghis bit for them.
as it involvesother women
It's a contradictionI don't feel easyabout especially
in the housesupportinghim too.
But the ideathen that thereis any sirnplerule plus appropriatebehaviour
a manheavesinto sightisiust crude.In short I
which can be appliedwhenever
donlt want to supportany man but I don't know at the momenthow not to
to somedegree.Whethera man is beatinga womanor
supportmy ex-husband
whetherhe is arguingwith the Principalin trying to get a crecheat the college
doesmakea differenceto how I will behaveto him. It doesn'tfollow from this
that I would urgehis wife to go on living with him, for all I know he is beating
her and supportingthe creche.Nor doesit makea differenceto how far I would
trust hirn. My husbandwasnice,he supportedcrechesand women'said. We
went on Abortion marchestogetherwhenwe werein Australia.He evengaveme
all the currentwritingson the Family and did seemto be sensitiveto my
positionwithin it. So in the light of my own experienceI don't trust sympathetic
meneither.lt is not a questionof whetherindividualmen arenice,it's a question
of the structuralpower they caninvokewhen they chooseto.
It seemsto be asumed that the final triumpltantdeathblow could be dealt
to RevolutionaryFeminismin the form of the followingargument:"Revolutionary Feminismlogicallyimpliesbiologicaldeterminism".On the basisof this
supposedbelief,we areall apparentlycomnlittedto castrating/kllingmen.But
sinceour practicecontradictsour supposedtheory,then we weretold, we have
no stratesies.
Thisisjust crapand confusion.I don't want to get into the wholedeterminbut at leastit shouldbe pointedout that deterismversusfree-willarguments
that
minismforms a iargepart of other feministtheorieswhereit is assumed
us.So it can't be the chargeof determinism
"society" determines/constructs
which bringson the horrorsbut ratherthe biologicalwhich womenfind
objectionable
and which apparentlycommitsus to doingwhat we don't do form of deterkilling rnen.(lt is by the way a very nastyand condescending
rninismwhich is irnplicitin thesefeministwritingswhich talk of heterosexuality
and lesbianism
as thoughthey weretotally discrete,fixed categories).
furyway,what wasbeingimputed to me wasa beliefthat men are causedto
they havea penis.I do not believethat. I
do what they do to womenbecause
don't think that men"can't help it" which is a very old myth indeed.They can
malesexualityand they could change.
help it, they don'thavean irrepressible
they havetoo much to
The fact is it seemsthey won't unles forcedto because
'strategy'
to withdrawfrom men to
lose.That is preciselythe point of our

39
men.
forcethem to changeand to put energyinto womenand into challenging
biological
determinist
a
and
neither
not
does
revolutionary
feminism
am
I
tttgicaltyimply it but I do think we cancausethingsto happenanil thereforeI
think that it is possibleto effect change.I do think that the biologicaldifference
betweenmenand womenis irnportant.For a startif a man didn't lmvea penis
is true; that
thenhe couldn'tuseit asa weaponbut I don't think the reverse
penis
ofa
is
sufficient
possession
to
cause
him
to
rape
and
control.
rrrere
Botlt menand womenhavechoiceand what I want is for men to starl
' c h o o s i n g ' t o c h a n gIed. o n ' t j u s t m e a nt h a t t h e y b e c a r e f ual b o u tw h a t t h e y s a y
a n dd o i n t h e p r e s e n coef f e m i n i s t s I ' m s i c ko f t h i s t o k e n i s mI. m e a nt h a t
t h e ys h o u l dn o t o p p o s et h e d i s r n a n t l i n g oafl l t h o s es t r u c t u r etsh a t g i v et h e m
power - but I'm convincedthat they won't giveanythingup until they really
b e g i nt o f e e lt h e d r a u g h t .
Pat
In sisterhood,
( W I R E S9 5 )

Betwqrz of L UST: wl firza,l

' le+

,1s be SFtrt+latl
t
Le+ hs
1entl4l.
at,qn'e 14 4crrclet qAa
ao
-|rc+te ntm,
,o6eisqqcz
a q 4 34 dl( b1 4+< owt ul v4<-s
t
1- hilter
yaqls
.
no!'

3.

40
*

DearWires.
is
I think the LeedsRevolutionaryFeministpaperon politicallesbianism
has
it
I
think
lesbianism.
neitherrevolutionarynor feminist,nor evenabout
to do with sexuality.I think it is an exercisein political
nothingwhatsoever
part of an attemptto restructurethe Women'sLiberationMovemaneuuering,
massmovementto
ment,to transformthe movementfrom an open.broad-based
groups,
left-wing
a closedgroupingof cadreunits,alongthe linesof certain
women
many
what
perhaps
completewith party line and party discipline'This is
the
movewithin
directions
desirefor new
thereis certainlywidespread
*uni
ment but I would prefer we all call a spadea spade'
paperproTo returnto my openingpoint, I find the politicallesbianism
and depends
concepts,
of
two
the meanings
That is, it revises
foundly revisionist.
the
it
revises
all,
of
for its emotiveforce.First
on these(hidden)revisions
"the
of
meaning
the
itself.Second,it revises
meaningof politicallesbianism
points
separately.
personalis political". I want to takeup thesetwo
or
in the mid-seventies
The first wave,so to speak,of politicallesbianism
dates
specific
pretty
on
lousy
but
(l'm pretty good on generalities
rhereabouts
America.
and facts)camefrom within the radicalfeminist strandsof the wLM in
when
hatred
of
self
element
an
learn
It wasbasedon tl.renotion that all women
on
based
fundamentally
is
which
they learnto becomewomenin a society
bisexual,lesbian,or
women'ssubjection.All women,whetherheterosexual,
they acquiretheir
when
of
self-hatred
dose
internalisea furtherheavy
asexual.
by
and exercised
constructed
as
norms,
Heterosexist
specificsexualorientation.
isolated
sexually
feel
ways,
different
in
women,
all
the male class,ensurethat
from other women.All womenweredefinedprimarilyin relationto, or in
of lesbians
reactionto, malesexuality.Furthermore,the specificoppression
themselves
found
initially
lesbians
that
rneant
had
society
within heterosexist
and rejectedwithin the WLM aswithin the dorninant
just asinvisible.dismissed
sc.ciety.
at that time had two mainelementsasI remember'First'
Potticallesbianism
- regardless
of their specificsexualorientation - to
all
women
it wasa call for
If all womentook a
aslesbians.
with lesbians,
publiclyidentify themselves
of lesbianswould
oppression
specific
of
the
then
much
public stand as lesbians
be subverted.
of their specificsexualorientation
Furthermore,all women- againregardless
under
- wereinvited to look inward.to questionthe contextsand circumstances
how
discover
to
and
forged,
been
had
orientation
sexual
which their specific
much that sexualorientation,particularly with respectto heterosexuality,
our own and other women'sfemaledependedon the rejectionof femaleness,
political lesbianswe were throwing
ourselves
In
calling
nessof body and spirit.
precisely
becausewe knew our militant
strong
so
was
feeling
off self-hatred.This
and that the changeswhich
feelings,
inward
our
of
reflection
public stancewasa

4L
werereal.Wehad learnedto love ourselves
as
we had wroughtwithin ourselves
had
learned
to
we
love
other
women.
and
womerl
asit wasfirst
Tle importantthing for me about politicallesbianism,
wasthat it wasa call for unity amongwomen,basedon our common
conceived,
oflearningto know and carefor eachother.I found it a profoundly
experience
openinglne to partsof myselfI had neverbeforeacknowcreativeexperience,
le6ged.openingme to other womenin waysI lradneverdreamedpossible.It
allowedme to feelconnectedto all women,womenI didn't know, women I
didn't like, womenI admired,womenI desired.
So now I feel the leeds RevolutionaryFeministpaperhastotally revisedthe
of politicallesbianism.
My readingof the paperis that politicallesbianrrreaning
ism for them hasvery little to do with caringfor and bondingwith other women,
but ratherto do with rejectingmen.Certainlythereis nothingwrongwith
rejectingmen,rnostof nry bestfriendsrejectmen,but that is rrot the samething
ascaringfor women.Nor is it evena startin the right direction.Just because
rnenare awful doesn'tmeanwomen are wonderful. I think we are wonderful,all
of us.eventhoseof us who are horrible.I think we arewonderfulin our own
men areawful. I feel positivelyinsultedat the suggestion
rightand not because
wehavewomen loversnot becausewe arelovablebut becausethat will prove
our politicalcredibility.I don't want any womanto feelsheis unableto be a
feminist.I don't want any womanto feel shecannotmakeany meaningserious
ful changesin her life unlessand until shestopshavingsexual(physicalemotional)relationswith all men. I rememberwhen we usedto say,"Kick from
whereyou are" - and not that you had to get somewhere
elsebeforeyou could
challenge
malepower.
The paperassertsthat women shouldceasehavingsexualrelationsof any sort
with men becausethoserelationsarealwaysand invariablyand eternally
oppressive
to women.The fact that many womendo experience
quite a lot of
powerin theirheterosexual
relations,that they find they havea lot of room to
l.naneuver
within thoserelationships,to dictate to male loverswhat they will and
will not do, is dismissed.
The fact that heterosexual
womencould talk freely
amongthemselves
and discovertogetherto what extent they are bored,
humiliated,angered,
satisfiedand energised
or whateverby their relationships
is
discounted.
In fact I marvelat the paper'sability to be so authoritativeabout
everysingleact of penetration.I alwaysthoughtthat part of the strengthof
teministanalyses
of oppression
wasthat we asserted
the needandthe right for
oppressed
peopleto describetheir own oppression.
Sincerevolutionaryfeminists
don't havesexualrelationswith men,then how can they be so authoritative
about what those relationsmust alwaysbe like? Is Big Sisterwatching
me?
The crunchhereis that while they arguethat heterosexual
relationsalways
'tuvesuchwidespread
terriblerepercussions
for all women,they alsoarguethat
cnanging
thoserelationships
so that they no longerreflectmaleprivilegehasno

42
widersymbolicmeaningat all. lt is simplypouringenergydown the drain of one
singleman.So if you havea sexualrelationshipwith a man and the relationship
you, you arein the wrongfor stayingin it, and if you work onlt so
oppresses
that it doesn'toppressyou, you areevenmorein the wrongfor stayingin it.
showthat the intent of the paperis not
I think thesesortsof contradictions
or to help them overthrowtheir
to help womenunderstandtheir own oppression
wordsand argumentsto makeheteroThe papermerelymanipulates
oppression.
sexualand bisexualwomenfeel they arein the wrong,no matterwhat they do.
two setsof contradictory
The paperplaysboth endsagainstthe middle,asserting
'solves'all the
to promoteanguishand confusion,then spuriously
arguments
'chuck men and all the contradictionswill be
with a simplistic
contradictions
solved'happyending.As long as you haveany truck with men you area
collaboratorand foreveroutsidethe fold of seriousfeminism,but as soonasyou
all is forgiven.In the meantinte,sinceyou arein the
becomea sexualseparatist
wrong,your opinionsareinvalidand nothingyt)u saycould possiblycarrymore
and bisexual
weightthan the fact that you fuck with a man.(Many heterosexual
womendo not, in fact,fuck with men . . . what makesyou think we leaveour
men in everyother
politicsoutsidethe bedroom?We feel it is right to challenge
areaof our lives,why not in this area,if it makessenseto as to do so?)I deeply
that what I might do everyoncein a while
mistrustany positionwhich asserts
with someman is of moreimportancethan what I do all the time with wonren.
paperhashad suchan emotive
The only reasonthe politicallesbianism
the
(generallydepressing)
effecton so many feministsis that it alsorevises
meaningof that basicunit of our politics- the personalis political.That slogan
which emergedfrom earlycottsciousness-raising
an observation
encapsulates
groups.It wasan expression
of the fact that the particulardetailsof women's
personallives,which becameaccessible
to most of us for the first time in the
WLM, reflectedsimilarpatterns,and all thesepatternsreflectedone theme:
by rnen.
wt-lmenwereoppressed
Wesawthat we did not needto limit our analysisto just a few areasof our
lives;we sawthe immensepolitical power of questioningeverything.
The versionof 'the personalis political' implicit in the political lesbianism
paperis somewhatdifferent. The paper'sauthorsseemto use this sloganas an
unspecifiedsourceof absolutetruth. Becausethey have"strong political beliefs"
thosebeliefsare part of their personalidentity and part of the truth of their
lives.But is the fact of somethingbeing a strongbelief enoughto make it true
for all of us?'Thepersonalis political'neverhasmeantthat any woman'sor
group of women'spersonalfeelingsor ideasbasedon those feelingscould be
immediatelytranslatableinto a political programmefor all women.
Vff:rat
does make the statementsin this papertrue? If "our heterosexual
sistersaccuseus of woman-hating"is it not possiblethat their heterosexual(to

43
saynothingof their bisexual,asexualand lesbian)sistersmightjust be right?
about what everyheterosexual
TSeyjust go on and on makingstatements
wonran'slife is like, what sheshouldthink about it, what sheshoulddo abourit.
that all women questiontheir experience
and nrake
Ratherthan dentanding
basedon their new understandings,
they justtett us what that
decisicrns
is and what it means.Furthermclre,
they tell us that if we do not
cxpcrience
acceptthcir truth and act on it in the way they tell us to - in effect,if we do
with the enemy.Since
1()t acceptparty discipline then we arecollaborators
groupsgenerallyshoot collaborators,
the analysisthey presentis
resistance
r u t h c rc h i l l i n g t, o s a yt h e l e a s t .
Anotherrespectin which'the personalis political'hasbeenimplicitly revised
i s i n t h e a r e ao f p u b i i c d i s c u s s i oann d d e b a t eh. r t h e p a p e r . ' t h ep e r s o n ai ls
political'operateson the levelof "My politicsareof intensepersonalimporuance
to rneand thereforeany attackon my politicsis equivalentto an attackon me;
you cannotattackrny politicswithout attackingme; furthermore,if ,I attackthe
w^yyou liveyour personallife, sincethe personalis political,that is reallya
politicalattack." I think it is in largelneasurethis sort of perhapsunconscious
revisionof basicfeministtruths whichhasfueledthe firesof paranoiacurrently
srrlatnpantwithin our movementand which benefitsonly our oppressors.
Finally.I think that a fundamentaldifferenceexistsbetweenidentifyrnsasa
l c s l r i ao
n n t h e b a s i s t l fl o v ef o r s o m ep a r t i c u l aw
r o r R a no. r t r n t h e t a s i so f t o v e
Irr 'i'onrenin general,and identifyingas a lesbianbecause
you rejectnrenor
think vou shouldor wishyou could rejectmen.I think that identifyingwith
wonrellpositively,irrespective
ot'the existenceof men,is part of the processof
gettingrid of the man in our head,our male-identified
rejectionand hatredof
w()l.uen.
I think that identifyingwith womennegatively,
aspart of our hatred
of men,not only doesnot get rid of the man in our hearl,it makeshim ever
morepowerful.
The politicaleffectsof this paperarepotentiallydisastrous.
It hasmademany
fenlr.ristsfeel their own strugglesare hopeless.It hasmademany feministsfeel
the WLM is hopeless.
It hasrnademany womenfeel rippedapart,with a public
presence
asserting
their lesbianism
and a privatefeelingthat they reallydon't
know what they areand haven'tthe right to find out. They behavelike they
think lesbiansshouldbehave,but thereis alwaysone eye on the crowd to make
surethey are doingthe right thing,and thereis this innerdesolation,this feeling
that underneaththey are neitherlovablenor angryjust scaredand lonely.In fact
we aremost of us scaredand lonely most of the time, and that is not the fault of
other women,it is the fault of malepowerand men. I think it is terriblethe way
the paperdemandsemotionalservicing
from all other women,and blamesall
otherwomenfor the miseriesof the lesbianghetto.
I wish that no woman would becomea political lesbianunlessshereally feels
like lesbianisrn
represents
a freelychosen.happyidentificationwith another

44
in
womanor other womenin general.Then shewouldn't haveto be so miserable
the nameof rcvolutionaryduty.
Feminismand women'sliberationaswe know it today is not about making
in the nameof revolutionaryduty. If we wish to changeour movement
sacrifices
overcreating
so that correctbehaviourand revolutionaryduty take precdence
loveand unity amongstwomen,then by all meanslet us do so,but let us act in
t
I don't givea fuck for
full knowledgeof what we aredoing.Personally,
revolutionaryduty.
In sisterhood,
DebbyGregory.

Feminist SexualPolitics
'lesbian'in this way (asin PoliticalLesbian)is to rob it of any
To usethe term
Thoseof us
meaningasa descriptionof sexualorientation/preference/practice.
- and sufferedall the guilt, hiding,oppression,
struggleto
who werelesbians
come out without the supportof a Women'sMovement-before we were
feministshavegood reasonto be angry at this denialof what it meansto us to be
lesbians.
viewpoint(at its mostextreme)seemsto
The rationalebehindthe separatist
run: (yes,I know I'11be oversimplifying.. .) "Men oppresswomen.Therefore
men are the enemy.Men will not/can not change,thereforewe must get rid of
energyto men.Thereforethey are
womensupport/give
men.Heterosexual
colludingwith the enemy/aretraitors/asbad as men etc . . ." The whole
argumentis open to discussionat severaldifferent points. There is a difference,
(the autonomyof the
betweenseparatism
as a politicalmethodof organising
WLM), a way of gainingstrengthbefore returningto the strugglein societyat
as an end in itself.
large-- and separatism
I understandthe angerand frustration which leadswomen to declarethat the
is to rid the world of men. Evenif you agree,I
only way to end our oppression
fail to seehow we could everachievethat, or be allowedto. But beyond that, I
feel that one of the important thingsabout feminismis the belief that the vny
in which we try to achieveour ends,influencesthe type of end we will achieve.
our attemptsto do away
structures,
on non-heirarchical
Henceour insistence
with power imbalances.Genocideis a form of male power-mongeringI do not
wish us to makeuse of. I want a non-sexistsociety,but not at the expenseof
turning wonlen(who know so much about creating)into destructive"men".
If we envisagea future in which men will take part, men will haveto change.
Somewomen believethis will only happenif women withdraw their support
totally from men. I don't believeall women are everylikely to want to do this.
Not all feministswant to do so, now. I'm not sureit would achievethe desired
effect if we did. I think we will only achievethe sort of changewe want very
slowly, and not in any one way - it will be more like millions of little drops of

45
all shapesand sizesgadually wearingaway at the stone of the patriarchy.
Meanwhile,we needevery ounceof woman energywe can muster.If the
women'smovementcan't be a placefor a// women, whatevertheir sexualitv.
then we havelittle hope of everachievingvery much.
Joy Pitman,January1981.

A Reply from York

The political lesbianismpaperwasdiscussed
in severalopen meetingsand workthereappearedto be a consensus
shopsin York. In eachdiscussion
supporting
the paperwhile many women disagreedprivatelyor publicly afterwards.we feel
that this wasdue to the way the paperwaswritten, the authoritarianlanguage,
the attempt to pre-emptdebateby dealingwith potential criticismthrough
askingcertainquestionsonly, and the exclusionof the validity of women's
experiences.
Our reply takesthe form of commentson the question/answer
part
of the paper.
a) Are heterosexualwomen the enemy?
Women'sAid doesnot tell batteredwomen how to live their lives.
Can feminist activity - Consciousness
raising,porn campaigns,health
groupsetc - really be nullified by heterosexualactivity? The past showsgains
for and by women, ourselves.
b) & c) Wedon't do penetration.I enclosehim.
At the moment sexualityis definedby men. lr doesmake a differencewhat
intercourse
is called,and to dismiss'enclosure'
as an attemptat re-definition
impliesthat any challengeto the male definition of sexis useless.
Also, are we to
dismisswomen'sexperiences
of sexualenjoymentwith men as invalid delusions?
d) I like fucking.
Aren't women allowed to enjoy themselves?
The paper'sreply deniesany
autonomoussexuality.
The socialistanalogydoesn'twork givingup Capeapplescan't be equated
with givingup heterosexualactivity which for many women involvesquestions
of income,housing,child custodyetc.
e) It is easierfor lesbians.
All women are under attack and we can't escapeby living with women. The
fbrm of attack obviouslyvaries.Thereare privilegesgiven to heterosexual
wolnenbut there are many disadvantages
suchas maleviolence,economic
dependencyand lossof identity.

47

46
areiucked up by powers{ruggles'
f) lrsbian relatitrnships
IIitisrecognisedthatlesbianscan'thaveperfectrelationshipsunder
patriarchy'hy.an'theterosexualwomenmakethebestoftheirrelationships
witlt rrrcn'l
e
tlffer sonlethingbetter?
g) Cany<-ru
future whenafter
abouta man-less
Thereisn't rnuchpoint ilnlaving f'antasies
o
p
p
r
e
s
s i o nL'i v i n g
o
f
s
t
a
t
e
a
i
n
l
e
f
t
t i r eu p l i f t o f b e i n gi n s p i r e dw e a r es t i l l
a
c
t
i
v
t
t
y
'
r
e
v
o
l
u
t
i
o
n
a
r
y
i tfe
r v i r h , r Lri tn c t ri s n ' ta p r e - r e c l u i s o
l l t - ' t l t eanr eb e i n gg r : i l tt r i p p e d '
i i ) i l e t e r o s e x r lw
guiit trippetlby irot beinggivencredit for knowingtheir own
They are Lreing
which makeother lit-estyles
rninds,anclby rhe neglectol structurall'actors
and this paperisn't the most
ways
in
many
,lifficult..Thetruth' canbe tolcl
effectivervaY.
ThecffectthepapcrlraclinYorkwast0makeheterosexualw(}menthink
w a y ' T h e s ew o m e nf e l t
a b o u tt h e i r r c l a t i o n s h i p s b un to t i n a c o n s t r u c t i v e
(\
suspendedtheir relationtemporarily
alienateclfrom the women's Movenrent
our sexuality,heteroabout
discussion
more
shipswith rnen.we'cllike to see
factorsaswell as
other
by
up
is
shored
patriarchy
sexualprivilege,and how
penetration.Thestartingpointfordiscussionneedstobeourfeelingsand
giveup heterosexual
And clnetastihought,while wclmencontinueto
experience.
this?
with
to
deal
find
patriarchy
activity what wayswould
Jan Maloney'
DenaAttar, PennyBainbridge,
1981.
FebruarY

DearDiane(Grimsditch)'
timestrying to hear
I,vejust readyour letterin Wiresand re.readit several
whatyou'resaying.Suchcourageandtrust-tobewritingdownyour|eelings
by'
andsharingthernwith womyn you alreadyfeelrejected
is of you feelingthat
one
big
A
l've beentrying to sort out my impressions'
..tirem"
ways.And the thing
different
of
lots
it
in
not you. You said
the wLM is
would rather hear a
I
that
I
know
and
your
truth
about truth. I c/o want to hear
be mystified by a
than
mine'
from
difft"nt
womon telling her truth, evenif it''
of
phrases
and
uniform
the
womon who haspainlesslyadopted
11d-goloSV
the wLM. We haven't
which hasnevertouched'her.And there is a lot of that in
lived under male rule for thousandsof yearsfor nothing'

r,,.ursllectthe sincerityand coutrnitmentof the womon you'r'ecriticising.rI've

womyn are
who are not respectfulof lleteroscxual
.nn,. ,., believethat lesbians
selves.2
tlgse who can't forgivetheir own previouslyheterosexual
ls it arrogantto say that I respectyou but think there'ssomethingyou
h a v e n '"t s e e n " .I ' m a l e s b i a ns e p a r a t i satn d I t h i n k t h e r ea r et w o m a i nr e a s o n s /
soodef'fects:one isthat I'm growingin waysthat I could not haveforeseen
ivhenI wasstill with men.The thing you sai<iabout madness ttregapbetween
has
livingat half strengthandreallife. For me lesbianseparatism
oLrreveryday
becniisbeingsteppinginto tl-ratgap.It's actuallylivingin tlrat gap,outsidewhat
for reality,and the jolt of doingthis hasmadecracksin me to allow in
passes
else.Tlie somethingelseis still just hints and ciues,little twinklesof
sonrething
morenow? That I madelove to myself
light.Wouldyou believethat I telepathise
(not
masturbated reallyfelt how you feel with a lover).That I
myselfonce?
fclt ltow deepthe rootsol a tree werein the earth.3l expectall this soundsvery
it's very very frighteninglivingin
spiritull.It is. It's alsofeminism.Sometimes
(me
glp
aregoingto changcthe world
the
others
here)
but I think we
and
tliis
t h i sw a y .
The other reasonis that we muststop nurturingmen. They rnustlearnto
nurtureeachotherand if they can't then I don't believethey will survive.Right
to womyn. I
norvthey'rea dangerto all life on this planetand most.especially
know somemen arenicer than othersbut I've neverInet oneyet who wasable
to give/receive
emotionaisupportto/from anotherman.They drainthe life force
frorr womyn in a very real way, quite apart from the institutional genocideof
womyn.I think the LeedsRev Femstook a greatrisk in writingthe Political
paper.How I wisha heterosexual
Lesbianism
womon would reply to it in detail.
Your reactionto it is that it is nothing to do with you or your life. Pleasesay
privilege,you saythat menare
more.4You clearlyunderstandheterosexual
irrelevantand can't reallyunderstand.
You alsosaidyou're afraidof relatingto
wonrynbecause'women are too important for me to trust myself with.' I really
needto understandwhat you meanby this. It soundslike a fearI had but I'm
not sure.
Stay strong, Dane. You are the Womyn'sLiberation Movement.And so am I.
ln sisterhood,
PaulaJennings.
(WIRES88 (footnotesadded(1212181)
in the light of recentlettersin
WIRESand also asthe resultof discussions,
mainly with JenniferKerr.
Footnotes

I Reactionsto the Political ksbianism papersuggestthat heterosexual

feministsdon't feeltheir sincerityand commitmentis beingrespected.
Maybe
Irememberthefeelingofbeingcold-shoulderedbylesbianswhenlwasstill
this is more to do with all the "shoulds" in the paperand with being
withaman.ltenragedrne.Butlalsorememberbeingchallengedbylesbiansand
that,althoughpainful,helpedmegrow.Supportivecriticismisonlypossibleif

49

48
'collaborators'
than with the actualtheory of heterosexuality'
as
described
of a
The papercould perhapshaveoutlined the theory and includeda vision
good
which
things
the
futuie wherewomen did not servicemen. ie. Here are
feministswithdrewthat support.This would be
couldhappenif heterosexual
and lessdamning.
moreencouraging
for lesbiansand their choicesimplies
disrespect
And viceversa.Heterosexual
of the lesbianthey too could be'
a fear (and unforgivingness)
Heterosexualfriendshavereactedangrily to this part of my letter, sayingthat
which I attributeto my
they too havehad the sortsof insights/experiences
hasdefinitelymade
becominga lesbian.All I can reply is that my lesbianism
greatchangesir me. Apart from feelingan increasedability to usemore bits
I no longerhaveto endurethe contradictionof
of rrryselfin perceiving,
havingthe strugglefor womyr1'sliberationasmy centralactivityand a
groupas my centralconfidantand companion.For
memberof the oppressor
arenot unconnected.
me thesechanges
by a heterosexual
So far I've comeacrossno analysisof heterosexuality
feminist.Behind the angry noiseis a resoundingsilence.In all the outraged
paperthereis no realattemptto refute
to the PoliticalLesbianism
responses
Nor is
of malesupremacy.
is the cornerstone
the theorythat heterosexuality
which
feminism
heterosexual
therean attemptto replaceit with a theoryof
with men contributeto feminist
relationships
how emotional/sexual
describes
revolution.I've readone detailedcriticismof the Politicalksbianism paper
the questionof the powerconnotationsinherentin
and that one sidesteps
heterosexualsex by retorting that somewomen tell their maleloversrvl-ratto
do in bed. (The culrural meaningof fucking and the cultural equationof
peniswith power is apparentlymagicallymissingfrom thesebeds')I've
the arguments
wonderedif womenaredeliberatelymisunderstanding
them'
answering
to
avoid
conlainedin the paperin order
Insteadof analysisthereis frequentlythe indignant(and supposedly
us if we're
rhetorical)question- "But how will men learnto stop oppressing
how
to
describe
necessary
considered
It
is
not
not thereto teachthem?"
them.
in
changing
effective
more
is
leaving,
than
stayingwith men, rather
of this focuson "teaching"men.It's assumed
Further,thereis no questioning
a
new
world and alternativetheoriesare not
to
to be the obviousroute
so threateningthat they are ridiculedand
treatedseriously(or areconsidered
disrnissed).ltisnot obviousthat directly confrontingthe oppressorwithin a
relationshipis an effectiveroute to change.
ln recent feminist writings there hasevenbeenthe suggestionthat lesbianfeministsfrom formulatingtheory by
heterosexual
feministsarepreventing
guilt-trippedand
paralysing
them with guilt. It is overlookedthat lesbians,
invalidatedby the whole of society,still manageto write down explanations

that what is reallypreventingheterosexual

of our politics.I would suggest
from
explaining
positionis that it is the norm and therefore
their
feminists
to
not
be
requiring
of
considered
any politicalanalysis.
The currentdebatein
WLM
is
not
between
two
conflicting
the
setsof theory(i.e.lesbianand
Thereis lesbianand/orseparatist
heterosexual).
theoryand reactionsto it.
I'd like to list someof thesereactionsand commenton them.
(a) "How dareyou tell me what to do?"
Thisis a frequentresponse
to any questioningof the norm. It is not criticism
fearful
a
attempt
but
to stop questionsthat might lead to difficult changes.It
is true that the PoliticalLesbianism
paperactuallydoestell womyn what to
do, so in this casethe response
is hardlysurprising.
However,"How dareyou"
etc. doesnot cometo gripswith the ideasin the paperand doesnot further
the debate.
(b) "This bearsno relationto what I experiencein my life."
This is fair enough,but then we areleft wonderinghow the writer does
experience
her heterosexuality
and how this relatesto her feminism.
(c) "You arecontravening
the WLM demandof our right to a self-defined
sexuality."
To put forward a theory about the relationshipof heterosexualityto male
supremacy
is not the sameasdenyinga womon the right to be heterosexual.
A theory canbe disagreed
with (evenif it doescontaina numberof
"shoulds"). If womyn havedifferent theorieswhich they find more
convincingthen they'll presumablygo aheadand live in accordancewith
them.what lesbians
haveto contendwith in a heterosexist
world is not just a
theory. It is a socialrule backedup by punishmentsrangingfrom lossof job
and childrento violenceand murder.
(d) "SinceRevolutionaryFeminists(and other lesbians,
presumably)
don't
haverelationshipswith men how can they be an authority on what those
relationshipsare like?"
Many,if not most,lesbianfeministswereonceheterosexual.
Somewhere
lurking in this responseis the implication that lesbiansarenot real womyn
and cannot understandmost womyn's concerns.This is an attempt to make
our opinionsirrelevantand thereforenon-threatening.
(e) "My heterosexualrelationshipis not oppressivebecausemy lover is under
my thumb."
This responseimpliesthat role reversalrather than the overthrow of male
power is the goal of feminism,and that dominatinga malelover is somehow
revolutionary.But why would any womon want to be in a relationshipwith a
doormat?Besides,pomographycontainsmany imagesof "masterful" womyn
discipliningnaughty men. While men continue to hold realpower in the world

51

50
thisis just a gameand a turn-on.
paperin
to the PoliticalLcsbianism
Therehavebeenrnanymore responses
in general.The most seriouscomplaint
particularand to lesbian-feminism
a lo m y na r e
( a n dI t h i n k i t u n d e r l i em
s a n y0 f t h e o t h e r s i)s t h a t h e t e r o s e x u w
with the
bcinginvalidatedas seriousferninists.But if a womon disagrees
that is beingproposedthen the chargeof being
theoryof heterosexuality
havebeen
or a collaboratoris simplyirrelevant.Lesbian-feminists
unsericlus
accusedof beingdefeatiston the groundsthat we haveopted out of the "real
strugglewith men". SinceI don't acceptthis definitionof "real
clay-to-day
by beingcalleddefeatist.
struggle"I am nt-rtinirnobilised
It is not good that somefeministsshouldfeel invalidatedbut tlte answerls
not to attackor silencewomenwho write down their ideas.

+.

Press,
DearOnlyrvonren
I wantedto write somethingin favourof the politicallesbianpaper.I was
sftockedwhenseveralofmy lesbianbuddieswereoutraged,upsetand angry
w i t h i t . T h a t i s . I w o u l dl i k e r o c ' x p r e sasp o i n t o 1 ' v i e wt h a t i s o u t s i d et h e h e t e r o s e x u allr a m e w o r ka l t o g e t h earn d s a yh o w i t c h a n g e d
m e f r c l ma g u i l t y l e s b i a n
into a politicallesbianor lesbianferninist.
My lesbianexperience
beganwhenmy dearestfriend at Universityhandedme
a pieceof computerpaperon which waswritten 'l want your body'. After
s e v c r am
l i n u t e so f m a s s i vhee a r tt r a u m a sI t o l d h e r I w a sn o t i n t e r e s t e dB. u t a s
a
s
I
h a dd e n i e di t I r e m e r n b e r et h
d a t I h a d d r e a m to f l y i n gi n b e c lw i t h l r e r
soon
p
a
s
s
i
o
n ae
t en r b r a c ea,n d r n y r e s i s t a n ccer u r n b l e dI. w o u l dn o t l i k e y o u t o
in
t h i n k t h a t w e l e a p ta t o n c ei n t o b e d .A f t e r t h i sd e c l a r a t i oint t o o k u s h o u r so f '
cxcruciatingembarrassrnent
to touch f ingers,daysot'coiledup agonyto
and weeksbeforewe evenapproached
ernbrace
the full expression
ol'lhis love.
I do not think this hesitationwasreallyabout t>urmutual pruderybut rather
()ur terror of this thing of passionate
love betweenwomenand our fear o1'
steppingoutsideheterosexualtiy.
We werenot f'entinists
and did not realizethat
in sornecirclesit wasok, fine, evenlovelyto be lesbian,and of course,we did
not think of ourselves
aslesbian.I couldn'tevensaythe word, let aloneapply it
to myselfor her. And for the yearthat we wereinvolved,we did not tell a soul.
we scuttledout of each<-rther's
room at 7 in the rnorning,takingseparateroutes
to the breakfastcafeand discreelshowersandweesin the night. Suchwasour
f e a r .M y l o v e rw a sa n A m e r i c a na n d a t t h e e n d o f ' t h es u m m e r e t u r n e dt o t h e
States.
Alter long periodof desperation
at the lossof'her,I beganto realizethat
indeedwe werelesbiansand anotherwholevolumeof grief roseup. The
possibilityof anotherrelationshipwith a womanseemedunlikely,I knew
no womenwlro werealliesin any way,let alonelovers.I cannotdescribethe
utter despairthat the prospectof a f'uturewithout her or this cornpanionship
with a wornanthrewon to me. For agesI did not teli anyoneabout her.- excepr
for a woman whclthenattemptedto usethe fact of my 'perversion'
againstme.
I startedto think of myselfas a'homosexual'and tried to find out if there
werebarsor placeswherepeoplelike me could meet.Finally I 'got of| with a
straightwoman(a business
woman)at a straightparty and was lllled with hope
fbr a weekuntil shephonedme to saythat her boyfrienddidn't like the idea
and shewassorryetc. At that point I startedto believethat I would neverhavea
passionate
and equalrelationshipagainand that I wasdestinedfbr sordidaffairs
with fucked-uplesbians
like myselfor straightwomenwho liked to experiment
but werenot serious.Finally I spentthe night with a youngerwonran-frienil
of
rninewho in the morningseenredto find the mernoryof the night appallingand
disgusting.
I too felt disgustedby my unnaturalfeelings.

62
After a year of this,I drifted towardsfeminism.In thesecirclesI startedto
from my realidentity
referto myselfasbisexual.I wasstill completelyseparate
me to a
introduced
they
and
were
straight
I
knew
feminists
asa lesbian.The
I worked
issue.
woman's
on
the
perspectives
socialist
involved
feminisrnwhich
and had
man
alienated
equally
by
an
being
fucked
I
was
with NAC. Meanwhile
g
e
t
c
o
n
t
r
a
c
e
p
t
e
d
.
t
o
l
a
r
a
s
e v e ng o n es o
This may soundabsurdto straightwomenbut until I met this man I had tried
overthe
everypossibleexcuseto get out of beinglaid by various'boyfriends'
christian,then catholic,sayingI would
years.Thishad meantbeingexcessively
neverhavean abortion(so you betternot fuck me), I'm a bride of Christ(he's
'sorry I don't reallywant to'. But I
and a hundredrepetitionsof
monogamous),
he madeno pretenceto be
lovedthe sex with this alienatedmanbecause
an attitudeof gloriousagonywhile fuckingand
enjoyingit - we both assurned
werebuilt from hatred.
our orgasms
Anyway, after gettinginvolvedwith a straightfeminist (boyfriendsin tow), I
At this point I did not think of my still
rurade
anotherattempt at lesbianism.
asfeministor politicalbut asa questionof deviation.
closeted-lesbianism
it wasnice that all thesestraightfeministsthat I met did not
Nevertheless,
and they seemedto tolerateme completely.But
appearto think me disgusting,
it appearedthat therewerecertainrulesin this world. lt wasok to be a lesbian
as longasone didn't showit in certainareas- in publicor aroundpeoplewho
might mind.
Feminismchallengedthe position of women and that wasthought to be
went too far and alienatedthe ordinary
but lesbianism
pretty much acceptable,
people(I can rememberbeingdiscreetlyaskedif I couldlook a little lessbutch
I wasnot certainof it
in ro.pany). At this time I did not assertmy lesbianism,
and wasstill afraid of my isolationdespitethe toleranceI received.I still
thought of myselfas bisexualfor my own safetyand protection. I did not feel
that at a crunch thesefeministswould standbehind me' that their loyalty was
partial.I poseda threatto their ltormality.(I do not meanto blamethese
was)'
women:asI havesaid,I knew how terrifyinglesbianism
'Political lesbianism' paperhad such
Anyway, all this is to explain why the
an effect on me. When I first encounteredfeminismI thought what my problem
in life had been wasa questionof sexualorientation.I had beenstrangebecause
I wantedto havesex with women.BUT in someway this accountof my life did
not fit. The fact that it wasnow ok in lesbiancirclesto havesex with women
did not make any differenceto me. I did not believethat the way I was,was
definedby the fact that I wantedto havesex with women.It felt more like a
deepdesireto be free, to be a real woman.
As a child this meant beingclassifiedas a tomboy. I didn't want to play with
and
very aggressive
girlswho I thoughtweresilly' I wassportyand independent,
this
are,
way
things
The
hated anything which reekedof wetnessor weakness.

53
rneantI could neveridentify as'woman'.I hatedall the thingswhich tried to cut
'woman'.
This had nothingto do with sexor
nreoff from myselfand makeme
Why I had beencastout asa child,asan adolescent
pleasure.
and asa young
I wantedto be a womanwho alsowantedto be free of the
adult wasbecause
of "femininity". Societyhad extremelysubtlecoercivetechniquesto
constraints
destroywomenlike me, and theseappliedright from the beginning.
Thereforeit
which challenge
seemsto me now that all the characteristics
society'sconstruc'woman' (tame,
submissiveetc) are categorizedasdeviantor lesbian
tion of the
And for me to be toleratedas a lesbianby feministssomehow
characteristics.
utterly missedthe point about what I felt my self to be. My 'lesbianism'
had
involvedfar more thanbeingsexuallyattractedto woman.But feminismseemed
to leavelesbianism- that is all tltosethingswhich opposeand resistthe false
'woman'constructionof
in the sameplaceas before:assimplesexualpref-e'
ence.
What I saw when I read the Political Lesbianismpaperwasthat insideme was
not a lesbian(womanattractedto woman- strugglingfor expression
in a heterosexual world but a woman,a completelywoman-defined-woman,
strugglingto
be free of a world wherewomen must be shackledto the demandsof men,
including the demandfor sexualsubmissiveness.
lrsbianism took on a completelynew light and I knew that throughthis paperI had at lastfound what I
had beencut off from all my life, my selfas a woman.
- | prefer
And then I startedto seethe wholetacticof sexualpreference
womenand you prefermen,let's tolerateeachother as a tactic to prevent
wonlen from being themselves.
I startedto seethe waysin which men use sex to
control lesbians,
that is, the tacticwhich says,'Youwomenwho dresslike men,
who seekto live independentof men,who are not availableto maleadvances,
sexuafor otherwise,arejust lesbians'.By reducingour oppositionto the male
constructionof the femaleto sexualorientation,a kind of geneticdeviation
which leadsus to hate men and grow facialhair, men effectivelygaveus images
of ourselvesand a fear of ourselveswhich crippled the possiblityof us developing
a feministcritiqueof maledominatedsociety,and worse,it preventedus from
identifyingwith other womenor themidentifyingwith us. The paperalsomade
me seejust how much malesusesex to control women whe.therthey seethemselvesaslesbianor not. lrsbianismbecameto me the obviouspoint of resistance
to malepower whichis expressed
asporn, rape,prostitution,sexualabuse,
purdah,infibulation, sexualharassment
at work, on the streets,sexy, insulting.
ads,forms of dresswhich either cripple us physically(footbinding, high heels)
or morally (the sillinessof so many clotheswe are coercedto wear),sex therapy
(the variousways to get unwilling women to fuck). We arejust beginningto
bring to light the atrocitiesmen perform on women and they are mostly to do
with sex.
I seemto havegoneon a bit, but the point I'm gettingat is that the Political
le sbianpapersaid somethingthat wascrucial to me and I think for feminism:

oo

54
I thclughtof rnyselfas a closet
is not aboursexuarpret-erence.
that lesbianisnr
A
f
t
e
r r e a d i n gt h e p a p e ra n dl o o k i n g
r
o
l
e
r
a
n
c
e
.
J v t . u n , tt h o u g h tt h a t I n e c d e d
p
a
s ti n a n e w l i g h t ' I s a wt h a t w h a t
a
t
m
y
l
o
o
k
i
n
g
a
n
d
a t t h e w o r l di n a n e w l i g h t
urgestow3rdswolllen
I had beendelinedby all my life wasnot nly sexual
movement'had defined
f'eminist
of
the
part
(which is how the world, incluciing

A COLLECTIVE STATEMENT FROM ONLYWOMEN PRESS

rne;.nutratlrerthat'longsidethousattdsofotlrerwt)|l]en(nranytllwht}tnllever
of patriarchy'
I n p u b l i s h i n gt h i s p a m p h l e t w e w e r e e s p e c i a l l yc o n c e r n e dt o p u b l i s h w h a t
put it irr sexualternrs)lliail simplybeenresistingthe ntechanisms
tor
women
love
nry
separate
cannot
I
that
is
llow
w o m e n a c t u a l l y w r o t e , t o p r o m o t e g e n u i n ed i a l o g u e ,i n t h e h o p e o f a v o i d i n g
wlat this hasrneantto ute
the growth of a mythology where twisted versionsof other women's words
fromnlylovef-orwonlen-thepassionatefromthepolitical.Thet.actthatl
as
such
and
feminist'
a
t'm
that
except
irrelevaltt
me
b e c o m e m o r e c u r r e n t t h a n t h e o r i g i n a l . l n t h e l a s t f e w y e a r st h e r e s e e mt o h a v e
sleepwitlr woulenseelnsto
standinreslstancetomalepower.Anditseemstomethatcrucialtothemale
is the useto which 1e puts his and our sexuality
cortrol ol w'men in all splieres
|ar frorn beingmerelya questit,l of
so
to facilitatethat control.And lesbianism,
up asintenselypoiitical'
lot-rms
sexualpreference
N o w a d a y s l d o n ' t k n o w w h a t l c s b i a n i s m i S . I t i s n ' t | o r m e'attracted'
aboutbeing
as I find myself
.attracted,toworilen.I don't know what that nreatrs
tOsomernales(ifattractioninvolvesthat|urrnysenseofmlnmllt.).Whenlread
lesbianI find I
bookswritten by womenyearsagowho didn't cali themselves
and the like who
identify with their words.who wereall thesewomen'spinsters
I don't careif they slept
wh.oformedlife-longcompanionships?
livedtogether.,
to be a strateS/
appears
It
didn't!
pity
if
they
a
together,althoughit seenrs
often' | l'eelwe
had'
t.
be
object
as
an
sex
just
emphasise
to
now
oipatriarchy
the testol relationmustn'tjusiimitate their world and nrakesexualrelations
it
because
non-monogamy
on
feminism
in
emphasis
the
shipsoL politics.I fear
and
aswonten
rriesto iull togetherall our differentwaysof beingtogether
reducethemtosex.ItiStothecreditofthePoliticalLesbianpaperthatit
the politicsof sexuality- the powerdimensiotl
attemptsto emphasise
representedbyheterosexualityandlesbianism-ratherthanthepleasureof
sexuaiity'Thehistoryoflesbiarrismislriddenfroml"ristorynotbecausethe
is
of womenmakinglove to women(aslong as lesbianism
world ls frightenecl
wanks
even
it,
it
the patriarchycall copewith
as a sexualpreference
constructed
someis seento represent
lesbianactsin porn),but becauselesbiatrism
il,
our"ir.
we
now
for
is,
that
",
now
until
to society,elusive
thingelusiveand clangerous
of
limits
the
it
signals
that
arebecomingawareof its politicaldimensions:
selves
patriarchY.
In sisterhood,
J e s s i cW
a o o d, 1 9 l 2 1 8 l

b e e n a n i n c r e a s i n gn u m b e r o f a t t a c k so n l e s b i a n si n t h e m o v e m e n t ,o f t e n d e s c r i b e d a s f e a r o f l e s b i a n st a k i n g o v e r t h e m o v e m e n t - a s t h o u g h l e s b i a n sw e r e
n o t w o m e n , a s t h o u g h t h e e x p e r i e n c eo f l e s b i a n sw e r e n o t a l s of e m a l e
experience.
I t i s t r u e t h a t t h e r e h a s o f t e n b e e na n u n d e r c u r r e n ti n l e s b i a nf e m i n i s t
p o l i t i c a ld i s c o u r s ea, f e l t b u t r a r e l ye x p l i c i t l y s t a t e d w i s h t h a t a l l w o m e n w e r e o r
c o u l d b e l e s b i a n ,o r a f e e l i n gt h a t t h e y s h o u l d b e . W e w a n t t o g i v e c r e d i t t o t h e
i n t e n t i o n o f t h e L e e d sp a p e r i n b r i n g i n gt h i s o u t i n t o t h e o p e n . H o w e v e r w e f e e l
that the Leedspaper, while successfulin this. gave little or no attention to the
w e i g h t ,d e n s e n e sas n d c o m p l e x i t y o f w o m e n ' s e x p e r i e n c e T
. he women's
l i b e r a t i o nm o v e m e n th a s s p r u n gf r o m w o m e n ' s d e s i r e sf, r o m t h e c o n c l u s i o n s
women have drawn f rom the processof consciousness-raising
among women,
e x a m i n i n go u r o w n e x p e r i e n c e n
, o t f r o m a p r o g r a m m ew h i c h w o m e n m u s t f o r c e
themselvesto conform to.
S h i f t i n g a s e x u a l / p o l i t i c aild e n t i t y i s n o t , a f t e r a l l , l i k e c h a n g i n gy o u r c l o t h e s ,
o r , t o r e c a l lt h e e x a m p l e u s e d i n t h e p a p e r ,l i k e g i v i n gu p C a p ea p p l e s .M o s t o f u s
who have either become or acknowledgedourselveslesbianshave been through a
d i f f i c u l t , c o m p l e x a n d o f t e n p a i n f u l p r o c e s so f c h a n g e ,b y n o m e a n so v e r . l t h a s
m e a n t q u e s t i o n i n g s, e l f - q u e s t i o n i n gc,h a n g i n go u r l i v e s ,l o s i n ga n d g a i n i n g
f r i e n d s .l t c o n t i n u e st o b e a p l a i n , h a r d , s o m e t i m e se x h i l a r a t i n gb u t n o n e t h e l e s s
extremely daily and bit-by-bit struggle.The nature of this struggleoften only
b e c o m e sc l e a rv e r y g r a d u a l l ya s t i m e g o e so n : i t i s r a r e l y a s i m p l e q u e s t i o no f
fully-informed choice. For instanceit is hardly possibleto believethat paople
w i l l t h i n k y o u y o u r s e l fs i c k , p i t i a b l e ,d a n g e r o u so, r u n f i t t o b e a m o t h e r o ' t o d o
certain iobs, or to imagine howdeeply this can affect your own consciousness,
u n t i l i t h a s h a p p e n e dt o y o u .
We feel that it is essentialto recognizeand respectthe living complexity of
women's lives,and the intelligence with which we make our choices.Wt: are
d e a l i n gh e r e w i t h i s s u e sw h e r e o u r t h i n k i n g i s w e i g h e dd o w n w i t h d e e p l y
ingrained patriarchal attitudes and where it is easy to feel ourselvespersonally
threatened by other women's dif ferent positions. The heterosexualresponseto
lesbianfeminist utteranceshas been sometimesso defensiveas to prevent hearing
what raresay.

57

56
that
w e m u s tq u e s t i o nt h e a s s u m p t i otnh a t h e t e r o s e x u a l i"t iys " s e x u a l i t y .
n o t a s s u m teh a t
m o s tw o m e na r ea n d w i l l a l w a y sb e " n a t u r a l l y "l i k et h a t .w e d o
anyformofsexuaIbehaviour,particu|ar|yonesoconscious|yengineeredand
p o l i t i c a l l yd o m i n a n t
c o n t r o l l e df o r s o l o n gb y t h e c u l t u r a l l ye. c o n o m i c a l l ya .n d
h i g h - r i sfel a t s ,t h e
t
h
a
n
"
n
a
t
u
r
a
l
"
n
o
m
o
r
e
s
H
e
t
e
r
o
s
e
x
u
a
l
i
t
y
c l a s si,s n a t u r a l .
women
heterosexual
feel
that
we
religions.
maior
the
of
any
or
neutronbomb
i
l
e
s
b
i
a
n
sn e v i t a b l y
a
s
r
i
s
k
o
f
l
e
v
e
l
t
h
e
s
a
m
e
a
t
d
o
i
n
g
a
r
e
t
h
e
y
w
h
a
t
m u s tc o n s i d e r
especially,
or
even,
cannot
granted.
They
for
nothing
is,
taking
that
haveto do
. e m u s ta l s o
t a k ef o r g r a n t e dt h a t t h e i rs e x u a l i t yi s " n a t u r a l "o r a g i v e n w
Heteroreproduction'
and
sexuality
between
connection
accepted
the
challenge
p
o
w
e
r
fuo
l ne.
s e x u a l i t yi s a n i n s t i t u t i o na, c o n s t r u c tt,h o u g ha n e x t r a o r d i n a r i l y
by
This institutionhasbeencreated,maintainedand enforcedupon women
of
one of which is to oppressall women,everywhere'
men,for their purposes,
descriPtion.
whatever
s n o t a s o l u t i o nt o t h e p a t r i a r c h yt ,h a t m e n
W eu n d e r s t a ntdh a t l e s b i a n i s im
n
o
n
e
t
h
e
l
e sH
s .e t e r o s e x u a l i tsyo b v i o u s l yn o t t h e o n l y
g
o
o
n
u
s
o
p
p
r
e
s
s
i
n
g
will
institutionthroughwhich men oppresswomen:howeverit doesseemto be a
of becominga lesbianfeministis mostvital to ourkey one.The significance
althoughthe strengthwe find in comingtogetherwill certainlybe used
selves,
of women.Becominga lesbianteachesone a greatdeal
againstthe oppression
to punishthosewho do not
privilege:the sanctionsavailable
about heterosexual
c o m p l ya r em a n ya n dv a r i o u s .
of lesbian
the problemsor the pleasures
It is very difficult to appreciate
e x p e r i e n ci es s u p p r e s s e d ,
e x i s t e n cfer o m w i t h i n h e t e r o s e x u a l i tlye:s b i a n
women
- vw know this and this is why we demandthat heterosexual
repressed
listencarefullYto what we say.
womengenerallymakeno boneswhateverabout criticising
Heterosexual
p a s s i o an n d
h e t e r o s e x urael l a t i o n s h i pisn,d e p t h .i n d e t a i l ,a n d w i t h c o n s i d e r a b l e
h
r o m a n da m o n g e t e r o s e x u a l
b i t t e r n e s sl t. s e e m s t h atth i sc r i t i c i s mi s a c c e p t a b fl e
we haveacted
perhaps
because
women,but not often from lesbianfeminists
the possibilityof acting radicallyupon thosecriticismsand conseguently
exists.Somewomenseemto find this an uncomfortablepossibilityto have
around.othersunderstandour challengebut chooseto remaininvolvedwith
men.
of women'sheterofor discussion
Wewould like to expandthe possibilities
both pastand present,and to be allowedto expressour
sexualexperience,
we havemuch in common:we areall
lesbianfeministangerat that experience.
womenand areall alwaystreatedas"women" by men,howeverwe chooseto
dealwith that.
experience'Unlessyou
somekind of heterosexual
No womanescapes
to one of the old theoriesthat one must be born either lesbianor
subscribe
thereis no excusefor refusingto hearlesbianwomen'sviewson
heterosexual,
relationshi
Ps.
heterosexual

w e w a n ta l s ot o s p e a kf r e e l yo f w h a t i t ' s l i k e t o l i v ea sl e s b i a n
feminists.
Thoseof us wfro are lesbianfeministsareso,amongother reasons,
becausewe
enjoy it. lt is a clearer,moreconsistentand more integratedlife,and our energy
for ourselves
is more available
and eachother.we do haveto contendwith the
immenseureightof the world'santi-lesbian
views,feelingsandactionseveryday
( s o m eo f i t c o m i n gf r o m i n s i d eo u r s e l v easn d s o m ef r o m o u r s i s t e r s )B. u t m a n y
of us havefound that livingamongwomenhashelpedus to gaina senseof
integrity.to escapeself-hatred,
to an extent which we would not havebelieved
p o s s i b l ien o u r h e t e r o s e x udaal y s .T h i si s t o t a l k o f a r e - o r i e n t a t i omnu c n m o r e
p r o f o u n dt h a n t h e r e l a t i v e lsyi m p l ep r o c e sosf s l e e p i n w
g i t h d i f f e r e n tp e o p l e a
:n
i n t e r n asl h i f t f r o m m a l e - i d e n t i f i c a t itoonw o m a ni d e n t i f i c a t i o n .
AlexandraStone
Anna Wilson
JackieBishop
Lynn Alderson
L i l i a nM o h i n
MariaJastrzebka
SophieLaws
S h e i l aS h u l m a n
Statementsfrom individualmembersof the collective

Although I agreewith much of the collectivestatementand believeit needsto

be said,therearesomeother pointsand different kindsof perspectives
that I
t h i n k I m u s tm a k ei n d i v i d u a l l y ,
The f irst is that I believethat the mainsplit in the movementis between
two different kindsof politics.This split often manifestsitselfaroundtne
i s s u eos f l e s b i a n i s a
mn d h e t e r o s e x u a l ist yi n c ei t i s a n e a s i l yi d e n t i f i a b l e
c r u n c h - p o i natn da n i m p o r t a n e
t l e m e n itn t h e p o l i t i c i s a t i oonf t h e p e r s o n a l .
sexualityalsobeingsupposedby men to be the essence
of the relationships
betweenmen and women.To characterise
the positionsbriefly:_ (1) if you
acceptfeminismonly asone part of a wider strugglefor humanrights;accept
the politicsof gradualreform of existinginstitutionsand attitudes;believe
that it is not only worthwhile.but properwork to be trying to changemen.
t h e n t h e r ei s n o t h i n gi n c o n s i s t e natb o u tw o m e ns l e e p i n w
g i t h m e n ,e v e ni f
you don't do it yourself.Lesbians
who hold theseviewsseetheir sexuality
asmerelya questionof personalpreference.
(21 lf howeveryou believethat the patriarchyis the root of all forms of
oppression,
that all men benefitfrom and maintainit and are,therefore,to be
seenasthe enemy;that the powerbalancecannotbe changedby reason,

58
p a t i e n c ea n d s i m p l y r i g h t b e i n go n o u r s i d e ; a n d f u r t h e r t h a t w o m e n m u s t
build positions of autonomous strength through and with each other - then it
i s c l e a r l y a b i g i n c o n s i s t e n c yt o , a t t h e s a m et i m e , b e i n c l o s es e x u a l / e m o t i o n a l
r e l a t i o n s h i p sw i t h m e n .
N o w , I d o n o t t h i n k t h a t t h a t m e a n st h a t t h e l e s b i a nf e m i n i s t c a n l i v e
. o a v e r y r e a le x t e n t , I t h i n k w e a l l s i m p l y c h o o s e
without contradictionsT
w h i c h c o n t r a d i c t i o n sw e w i l l t r y t o l i v e w i t h . B u t i f y o u s e e k t o s h a r ey o u r
p o l i t i c s a n d y o u r u n d e r s t a n d i n g / e x p e r i e n coef y o u r l i f e w i t h y o u r l o v e r a n d
you do not believea man can be a feminist or ever really comprehend what it
is to be a woman, then clearly the two become incompatible. lf a woman
choosesto live that contradiction, then I would not want to "judge" thatshe
s h o u l d n o t . I w o r k p o l i t i c a l l y w i t h w o m e n w h o d o p r e c i s e l yt h a t , b u t w i t h
whom I do sharean approach to politics as a whole (loosely described as
r a d i c a lf e m i n i s m ) . B e c a u s et h e y a r e o p e n a b o u t t h e i r c o n f l i c t i n g d e s i r e sa n d
p e r c e p t i o n sa n d , i n d e e d ,o f t e n m u c h m o r e p a s s i o n a t e l yc r i t i c a l o f s u c h
r e l a t i o n s h i p st h a n I w o u l d b e - a n d b e c a u s el a m o p e n a b o u t t h e c o n f l i c t s
I experience,we can trust each other's loyalty and respecteach other's
intention.
T h i s b r i n g sm e t o m y s e c o n dm a i n p o i n t , w h i c h c o n c e r n si n t e g r i t y a n d
p r o c e s sW
. h e n w e a s f e m i n i s t sd i s a g r e eg, e n u i n e l ya n d t h o u g h t f u l l y a b o u t w h a t
are the effective/appropriate politics of feminism, we each choose whichever
vrrebelieveto be better for women (ourselves).We hold these beliefs dear, they
matter agreat deal to all of us. The position we are left with is a liberal
toleration of our differences,not agreement.What raisesthat toleration to a
position of respect and not just indifference or contempt is a belief in each
other's integrity, as exemplified by how we perceiveeach other's practice
and process.lt's a kind of political morality, basedon the valuesof
. eg. t h e h o n e s ts h a r i n go f d i f f e r e n t l i f e e x p e r i e n c e s .
c o n s c i o u s n e s s - r a i s in
and the belief that that processis integral to
common
oppression
analysisof
revolution
very different from the traditional
a
intend
to
achieve
what we
f
r
o
m
a
m
u c h m o r e r a d i c a ls o l i d a r i t y '
w
i
l
l
a
r
i
s
e
m
o
d
e
l
,
o
n
e
w
h
i
c
h
leftist
I t h i n k t h e v a l u e ss t i l l h o l d g o o d a n d s h o u l d n o t b e s a c r i f i c e df o r e i t h e r
superficialshort-term gain, apparent greater effectivenessor out of the
c y n i c a l l a s s i t u d eo f s o m e y e a r se x p e r i e n c e .E x a m p l e ss p r i n g t o m i n d t h i c k
a n d f a s t , I h a v es e e n ' f e m i n i s t s ' m i s r e p r e s e notu r h i s t o r y t o m a k e p o l i t i c a l
capital; try to co-opt us into party politics or personalsolutions; personally
intimidate other women with a wide variety of weapons such as class.
- l ' m s u r et h a t e v e r y a r t i c u l a c y ,p h y s i c a lv i o l e n c e ,r a d i c a lo n e - u p - w o m a n s h i p
one knowsthe kindsof things I meanthat make you doubt the intention
and integrity of the woman concerned, whoever she sleepswith.
We must somehow create bonds of trust between ourselvesand commitments
to each other as women involved in the same struggle.To do that on a basis

59
o f h o n e s t yr a t h e rt h a nt o t a l s i m i l a r i t ym i g h tb e p o s s i b l_e t o a t t e m p te i t h e r
t o p a p e ro v e rt h e c r a c k sw i t h o u t q u e s t i o n i n g
c r, i t i c i s i n o
gr explaining
our
differences
or to insistthat thereis only one true way would be as fatal for
o u r m o v e m e nat s b e l i e v i ntgh a t t h e r ei s a n a t u r a al n da b s o l u t e
division
betweenheterosexual
womenand lesbianwomen.
Lynn Alderson

For the first few years that I was in the wLM I beronged,roughry,
to tne
s e c o n do f t h e 2 c a t e g o r i e so f p o l i t i c a l t h o u g h t w h i c h L y n n A l d e r s o nd e s c r i b e s ,
but I wasn't a lesbian.This inconsistency,this gap between what
I had come
t o b e l i e v e( p r i n c i p a l l yt h r o u g h c o n s c i o u s n e srsa i s i n g )a n d h o w
I was livingwas
a s i t u a t i o n I f e l t I h a d t o j u s t b e a r . I c o u l d n ' t s e et h a t I h a d a n y
right to try ro
h a v e a s e x u a l r e l a t i o n s h i pw i t h a w o m a n j u s t b e c a u s eI h a c j
this problem with
a logical inconsistency.Moreover, I knew that loving women must
be, indeed.
l o v i n g ,o r I w o u l d b e b e t r a y i n gn o t o n l y a n o t h e r w o m a n b u t m y s e l f
ana
the theory.
I h a d b e e n p e a c e f u l l ym o n o g a m o u s r ym a r r i e d f o r 1 6 y e a r st o m a n
a
who
c a l l e dh i m s e l f a f r i e n d o f f e m i n i s m ( k n e w e n o u g h n o t t o d a r e c a l l
h i m s e l fa
f e m i n i s t ) . M y c h i r d r e nl i k e d t h e w a y w e r i v e d .l t s e e m e d
difficurt to imagine
t a k i n g r e s p o n s i b i l i t yf o r c h a n g i n ga l l t h e i r l i v e sb e c a u s el . d
c h a n g e da p a r t o f
my mind.
I s p e n t a g r e a td e a l o f t i m e a n d e n e r g y i n m o v e m e n t w o r k w i t h
other radical
feminists and when I fell in love with one of them it didn't
seem a question of
l o g i c o r c o n s i s t e n c i e(sa l t h o u g h ,o f c o u r s e ,i t w a s i n a w a y . )
[To explainhow
I got past the combined (for me) taboos of infidelity and lesbianism
is more
t h a n I c a n m a n a g ei n t h i s n e c e s s a r i l yb r i e f s t a t e m e n t . l T h a t r e l a t i o n s h i p
was
m u c h m o r e c o m p l i c a t e dt h a n , l o g i c ,i m p l i e so r c a n e n c o m p a s s ,
taking in so
m u c h o f m y s e l f , m y t h i n k i n g a s w e i l a s a i l m y s e n s e sl.t w a s n , tj u s t
the reratively
s i m p l e a c t o f s l e e p i n gw i t h a w o m a n . o n l y b e c a u s es o m u c h
w a s i n v o l v e dw a s i t
p o s s i b l et o c h a n g em y l i f e , t o b e c o m ea l e s b i a n .
I h a d n o i d e a h o w d i f f i c u r t i t w a s g o i n gt o b e . N o t j u s t t h e m e s s
surrounding
l e a v i n gm y h u s b a n d ,r o s i n go n e o f m y c h i r d r e n ,f i n a n c i a ri n l e c u r i t y ,
r o s so f
privilege,safety and status, but what it means
and continues to mean to oe a
l e s b i a ni n t h i s w o r l d - t h e w e i g h t a n d f o r c e o f b e i n g , w r o n g , ,, b a d , , . w i c k e d . ,
'perverted',
outside and ultimately apart from the codes and concepts of
e v e r y o n ee l s e- v u l n e r a b l ei n t h e e x t r e m e .
And I had no idea how good it was going to be. Not only the
warmth, the
f e e l i n go f b e i n g o n t h e s a m es i d e ,t h e s e n s u a r i t yf,r i e n d s h i p .
rereasee
dnergy,
but the freedom to begin to think and act in new ways. This freedom
of
t h o u g h t i s l a r g e l yp o t e n t i a l . B u t t h e d o o r i s o p e n .

60
In 1973 | acted,in part, out of a beliefthat it is importantnot to have
with men. But I haven'tspentthe last 8 years
relationships
emotionaUsexual
of course.I work apartfrom and againstmen,
simply not beingheterosexual,
accepted,no longerthe impetusfor my political
but that's in the background,
activity.My politicalwork is focusedon women,on creatingwhat it can mean
to be women.Daily. I attemptto inventthe theoreticalgroundI standon.
patternsfor the womenwe can and must
pre-existing
Thereare no acceptable
on women,
political
lesbianis aboutconcentrating
become.For me, beinga
is not to say
This
these.
achieve
develop.
how
to
use,
strengths,
our
our needs,
lesbian
or the work
a
becoming
before
I
did
feminist
work
the
I
repudiate
that
that
lesbianism.
I
believe
However,
feminists.
radical
heterosexual
by
done
for feminists'
to feminism.necessary
politicallesbianism,
is necessary
L i l i a nM o h i n

but you
i,m a bit tired of my own and everyoneelse'sneedfor explanations.
- whereit's easier
school
boarding
to
i
vrrent
because
lesbian
could say i'm a
(all you needis a little
feelingsto find sexualexpression.
for inappropriate
to
therewasno access
where
parental
control?)'
of
lack
brief
a
opportunity,
(why
in
wait
women'
caring
intelligent,
warm.
to
access
ample
malesand
tediouslimbo when womenhad so much to offer?)whereone doesn'thaveto
f i t h t h e h u m i l i a t i o nosf t h e f e m i n i n er o l e i n o r d e rt o h a v ea
b u r d e no n e s e lw
(maybefor someof us the contortionsof lookingnice/likea
persona.
sexual
g i r l i n o r d e rt o p a s sa r eh a r d e rt o b e a r ? )
- but noneof them mattervery much now'
thesemay, perhaps,be reasons
t
h
e
y
a
r
e
n ' ta p o s s i b l oe r d e s i r a b lbel u e p r i n ft o r
m
e
.
t
o
o
n
l
y
d
o
,
or if they
solidity.
an ineradicable
give
lesbianism
my
they
but
world.
the
changing
p e r h a pist w o u l df e e lt o m e l e s ss o l i di f m y p o l i t i c a bl e l i e f sd i d n ' t f a l l i n
feministswould appear.in contrast.to be
behindme so readily.heterosexual
in somethingthat makes
pulledtwo ways.havingheavypersonalinvestments
waysone may choose
many
are
there
politically
(l
uncomfortable.
hope)
them
me
why relativelyfew
to
clear
very
it
seems
this
sort.
of
a
dilemma
to resolve
it is a
lesbianism:
of
direction
in
the
resolve
to
choose
women
heterosexual
- sick
new
burden
a
whole
of
on
taking
the
requires
that
resolution
doubtful
of privilege.thereisn't
for the guilty pleasures
abnormaltwistedin exchange
light is strungwith
the
truth
the
way
the
only
available
choice
free
much
chosento be
felt
i'd
actually
i
if
and
free
drinks
and
notices
encouraging
i camehere
ought'
women
position
other
to
say
better
in
a
be
i
might
here
not
the same.
that's
place
but
be,
to
comfortable
most
it's
the
think
and i
you
women,nonetheless.
i havecertaindemandsto makeof heterosexual
in particularyou shallquestionthe assumption
shallquestionyour assumptions.

61
t h a t y o u a r ef i g h t i n gt h e ' r e a l ' b a t t l eb e c a u syeo u a r e ' o u t t h e r e ' d e a l i n w
g ith
men, boys,the realworld. (whoserealworld). we'veall saidthat severaltimes
but it seemsto bearrepeating.
alsoyou shallquestionthe assumptionthat
heterosexuality
is yours,a freegift with everychromosonalpackand that i,m
not like that because
i waseither born missingor grewup missing.if you want
to go on beingheterosexual,
that'sok. but i want you to think about the fact
that you're doingit because
you want to. you areresponsible
for being
h e t e r o s e x u-a l i t ' s n o t l i k e t h e c o l o u ro f y o u r e y e s a. n d f i n a l l yi s h o u l dl i k e
you to considerhow you actuallyfeel about lesbianfeminists:sometimes.
i s u s p e ct h a t y o u , t o o , r e a l l yt h i n k w e ' r ea b n o r m a ls, i c k ,i m m a t u r ew
, arpedby-terrible-adolescent-experience,
freaks- or you'd be out
male-identified
herewith us.
Anna Wilson

So you demandall feministsbecomelesbians.

That is,as I readthis, to stop
havingsexualrelationships
with menasa politicaldemonstration
againstheterosexuality.But not fucking is not the end of heterosexuality
asinstitutionand
compulsorylifestyle.our oppression
aswomen,nor is it lesbianism.
ln identifyi n g a sa l e s b i a nt h e s t r u g g l e
i s n o t i n g i v i n gu p f u c k i n g a
; sa p l e a s u r a b al ed d i c t i v e
commodity like coffee,sugar,cigarettes.
Neitheris lesbianism
an intermediary
politicalstrategyto be useduntil suchtime comesas the boyslearntheir lessons,
m a n n e r sa,n da p o l o g i z eN. o t s os i m p l e .
A s a f e m i n i s tI c o n f r o n tt h e o p p r e s s i oann d v i o l e n c ei n o u r l i v e s a sg i r l sa n d
women.I am lesbian,a woman-identif
ied woman,in my commitmentto
acknowledge
the intensityof the feelings- emotionaland sexual- | havefor
women.
I am stillaskingmyselfWHY. Not in selfdoubt, but to re-assert
my choices
a n d i d e n t i t y .m y v i s i o n sa; l w a y sb u i l d i n ga n e wa g a i n stth e v i o l e n c eo f h e t e r o sexistdenialsof my existence,
the prejudiceand fears.
I too demandof heterosexual
feministsthat they acknowledge
their choice,
that they areand havechosento be heterosexual,
to seethe privileges
and rights
accordedthem asmembersof a dominantclass.
I want them to doubt their reality,questioningin whosepowerlaysthe
d e s i g nT. h i n k i n gs e r i o u s l ay n d s p e a k i n gW, H Y ,a s I h a v eh a dt o d o . I d o n ' t w i s h
their examinationto be in selfdefence,but from doubt and mistrustbecause
we
haveall beenliedto.
AlexandraStone

62
I rememberbecomingawarethat lovebetweenwomenwaspossibleat school.
in thosedays.The lastthing I wantedto
Not that I wantedto call it lesbianism
b e w a sa ' l e z ' ,e v e nt h o u g hI ' d b e e ni n l o v ew i t h a g i r l . l t w a s n ' t i l l l ' d b e c o m ea
feministmuch later- after a lot of confusionand choppingand changingof
sexuality- that I beganto saythe word lesbianwith confidence.But I
or electricity,
rememberbeingawarethat something,a warmth.intelligence
passedbetweenwomenand wonderingwhy no one elsesawit. Boyscame,
"adulthood". marriages,
whateverand for most of my friendsan end to all that.
process
feel
l've
I
seen
so many times,wheneverwomenget a chanceto
It's a
(at
etc) but get dividedby men again.
together
work,
at
college
come
personally
l've
felt
I
know
disappointed
by women,probablymost
At times
nearest
lesbians
then backedoff, caught
by
those
who
came
to
being
and
of all
snable
, r h a pu
i n f a m i l yo r s o c i a lp r e s s u r ecsl.o s i n go f f v i t a lp a r t so f t h e m s e l v eps e
t o b e l i e v ea w o m a ni s g o o de n o u g hS
. o m e t i m eIst h i n k , w e l l t h e y m u s tb e
h a p p y .O t h e rt i m e sI d o n ' t b e l i e v ei t . I ' m g l a dt o s e ew o m e nc o m i n go u t i n t h e
, o v i n ga w a yf r o m e m o t i o n a l / e c o n o m i c
W L M ,s l o w l y ,s o m e t i m epsa i n f u l l y m
findingtheir strengths,lovingother
on men,findingthemselves,
dependence
women.lt'ssuch a reversal
of the usualprocess.In quite a uniqueway the
supportof other womenin the WLM hashelpedmany of us comeout. Somewithout that support.Well many don't I
times I wonderhow we evermanaged
t h i n k . B u t i t i s n ' t n e a r l ye n o u g h L
. i v i n gi n a g h e t t o- w h i c hi s w h a t i t a m o u n t s
t o - i s n ' te a s y .
But I alsowant it to be possiblefor
So l'm gladwhen womenare lesbians.
for it to becomea realchoice,a realoption. I
morewomento be lesbians,
areautobelievesleepingwith a womanis a politicalact. Not that all lesbians
maticallyrevolutionaries.
Havingbrokenone of the biggestrulessometry to
m a k eu p f o r i t b y b e i n gc o n s e r v a t i vi ne a l l e l s e b
, e i n gs t r a i g h t et rh a nt h e
just "like everyoneelsereally".Or on a more subtle
straights,provingv\,'re
level,rnremay try not to be too 'heavy'(or too butch.or whateverit is seemsto
groupsit seemswe'retoleratedas long as we
offend most;like other oppressed
don't becometoo vocalor too sureof ourselves).
I say this asa Polishlesbian
who'sspentyearstrying to be extra nice.
l e a n i n gl.t p u t sy o u i n a p o s i t i o no f
S l e e p i nw
g i t h a m a na l s oh a sp o l i t i c a m
e n j o y i n gh e t e r o s e x u pa rl i v i l e g el i,k e i t o r n o t . W h i c hi s n ' t t o s a ya l l h e t e r o s e x u a l
womenfeelgood about it. and somearetrying to fight the institutionof hetero
s e x u a l i t yn, o t l i k i n gt h e p a r tt h e y ' r es u p p o s etdo p l a yi n i t a l l e i t h e r .B u t o u r
experiences
aren'tthe same.lf heterosexual
womendon't listento what we're
sayingthey missa vital part of what it meansto be a woman.They don't see
- the repression
of our sexuality,the negation
how the taboo againstlesbianism
from men and loyalty to one another- dominatesall
of our independence
women'slives.Althoughit's us,as lesbians,
who feel it mostdirectlyand are
often forcedto seeit mostclearly.lt meanslookingat how womenareforced

,$-

63
into heterosexuality
and how we areail activerydiscouraged
androrprohibited
f r o m b e i n gl e s b i a n s .o t h a t i t i s n ' tg o o de n o u g ht o s a y :y o u ' v eg o t y o u r
sexual
p r e f e r e n c easn d l ' v eg o t m i n e . . . l t ' s a b i g ,l i b e r a l i e i n
a w o r l d w h e r ea l l t h e
dice are loadedagainstyou growingup a dyke.
MariaJastrzebska

I w&

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I seemto havebecomea politicallesbian,though I neverconsciously

decided
that that waswhat I intendedto be, and I haveneveradvocated
political
lesbianism
for other women,I found relationships
with menoppressive,
and
r e s o l v etdo l i v ew i t h o u ts e x u arl e l a t i o n s h i pbse, l i e v i nm
g y s e l ft o b e u n a b l et o
relatesexuallyto women.I did not performthe act of faith which is sometimes
demandedof heterosexuar
womenby resbians,
to reavemenexpectingto
d i s c o v ear s u p p r e s s el eds b i a n
s e x u a l i t y( a n yw o m a nc a n . . . ) .
But it happenedanyway.
I wondernow whetherI wasnot so afraidbecause
of somesubconscious
fear
of the intensityof my feelingsfor women,but I rememberclearly,in contrast,
the deadfeelingin me when I searched
my soul for sexualattractiontowards
women.I did not fear beingostracised
asa lesbian- I did not really understand
what that would mean.

65

64
W e m u s td e m a n dt h a t w o m e ne x a m i n et h e i rf e e l i n gcsl o s e l yc, h a l l e n gteh e i r
But we musttake in good faith their description
beliefin their heterosexuality.
of what they discover.Reorientingmy sexualitywasan extremelycomprehensiveand subtleprocess- very difficult to describe'
r e l a t i o n s h i pi ss
A s s e r t i ntgh e p o s i t i v ev a l u ea n dt h e p o s s i bl iit y o f l e s b i a n
relatingto men.
about
need
to
all
they
know
mostly
centralto this, for women
decision?
this
taking
are
women
reasons
real
But what arethe
My senseof my self, my own
For myself,it wasin pursuitof happiness.
distortedby a
in relationships
i6velvement
my
b\/
violated
humanintegritywas
s
o l u t i o n ,I
i
n
d
i
v
i
d
u
a
l
f
o
r
a
n
p
o
w
e
r
.
t
r
y
i
n
g
A
f
t
e
r
o
f
g r o s s l yu n e q u abl a l a n c e
patriarchyhad
the
ight
tof
need
The
friendship.
women's
and
optedfor celibacy
survival
emotional
years
my
own
but
then.
for
part
consciousness
of my
been
exist'
to
way
be
a
sane
me
to
to
primary.
seems
This
wasalways
I did not leavemen in orderto havean effecton them. I had tried to change
particularlyone man for manyyears- | gaveup when I left. I wasquite sorry,
gy
i n a w a y ,a s I f e l t t h e nt h a t I w a sd e s p a i r i nogf a l l m e n .I w a sa b a n d o n i nm
better
into
men
change
straightforwardly
could
liberation
beliefthat women's
h u m a nb e i n g sI. t h e nf e l t f o r t h e f i r s t t i m e w h a t l s t i l l f e e lt o d a y :e n o r m o u sf e a r
and despairabout how women'sliberationcan eversucceed'
I haveneverfound that any manexceptperhapsmy own old boyfriendhas
or for that mattermy celibacy.
threatenedby my lesbianism,
felt especially
it'
feel
about
how
they
men
ask
not
I
do
Admittedly
from
men can createa
separately
living
women,
celibate
and
Lesbians
, , w o m e n 'cso m m u n i t y "- i n l a r g ec i t i e sa c o m m u n i t yl a r g ee n o u g ht o a l l o w
feministsa sociallife completelyawayfrom men.The questionis whethersuch
r hat
a c o m m u n i t yc a ns u r v i v ea n dh a v ea n i m p a c to n m a l es u p r e m a c yW' h e t h e w
political
force,
or
into
a
itself
grouping
transform
partly
can
a
social
is at least
N
one
r
e
v
o
l
u
t
i
o
n
a
r
y
?
b
e
i
n
i
t
s
e
l
f
g
r
o
u
p
i
n
g
m
a
y
p
o
l
i
t
i
c
s
a
s
u
c
h
i
n
s
e
x
u
a
l
whether
can
be
revolution
problem
women's
how
a
of
the
have
solved
to
claim
of us can
broughtabout.

SoPhieLaws

thoughtotherwise.I wasafraid I would not be seenas (or be) enoughlike

other women.I might not evenbe one,quite.
Overthe yearsmy senseof myselfasa lesbianhasbecomeclearerand
clearer,not without work and pain and conflict. I realisedmoreand morethat
my feminismwasrootedthere- in my body and in my experience
and in my
lovefor my womenfriendsthat went further back and deeperthan anything
elsein me. My angercamefrom a senseof wastedlife and a recognitionof how
much I had beenliedto and of how much I had had to lie evenand especially
to myself,but the realfuel wasa passionof friendship.I found that in some
ways,at last,lfelt whole,and could breathe,and that I wasseeingthrougna
w h o l es e r i e o
s f v i c i o u sm i n d - f u c k sI.w a sl e a r n i n g
a n d u n l e a r n i nagt t h e s a m e
time, and I knew I could do both only amongwomen.lt seemedto me that I
wastrying to live in a world that didn't existyet, that I had to make it, out of
nothingand out of buriedand silencedbits of the past.I could not makeit
alonebut only with other womenwho had steppedoff the samecliff with
n o t h i n gb u t t h e i rn a k e da n d l a r g e l yu n k n o w ns e l v e sT. o t h i s e f f o r t ,e x c e p ra s
an obstruction,men wereand are irrelevant.without metaphors,the very air
I needin orderto stay alive,the groundthat I standon, is whateverwe _ ano
tor me "\/e" is mostlylesbranfeministsbecause
it is with them I sharea
passionand a visionand a commonexperience
- havemade,can make,are
m a k i n g .F o r m e l e s b i a n
f e m i n i s mi s a p o l i t i c si n d i s t i n g u i s h a bf rl o
em my bones
or blood or strainedand achingconsciousness,
or for that matterfrom my
occasional
momentsof joy or exhilaration.I have,therefore,seriousdifficulty
i n s e e i n gl e s b i a n
f e m i n i s ma sp e r i p h e r a l t o
t h e w o m e n ' sL i b e r a t i o nM o v e m e n t .
For me it is necessary
and inevitableto the effort of makinga world in which
womenareat lastthemselves,
for themselves
and eachother.
S h e i l aS h u l m a n

6VVIRES
52a Shakespeare Strect,

WhenI cameinto the Women'sLiberationMovement,about nine yearsago,I

b u t I d i d n o t c a l l m y s e l fo n e .l c o u l d n o t . T h e i m p l i c a t i o nws e r e
w a sa l e s b i a n
to myselfor anyone
too f righteningto me. I wasnot going to acknowledge,
picking
up Judy Grahn's
pervert.
I remember
else,that I wasan unnatural
n
o
t e v e nw a n t t o b e
l
d
i
d
h
o
t
c
o
a
l
.
E d w a r dt h e D y k e a n d d r o p p i n gi t l i k e a
l
e
s
b
i
a
nm i g h tu n d e r m i n e
a
p
o
i
n
t
that my being
s e e nh o l d i n gi t . I f e l t a t t h a t
notwithstanding,
"straight
history"
the credibilityof my radicalfeminism,my
I would have
whom
of
asin fact it hassometimesbeenseento do by women

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66

67
'sexuality'

FEMINISTS
FROMLEEDSREVOLUTIONARY
AFTERWORDS

For some time before this paper was written those of us who had been invited
to women's Liberation groups to talk about our politics felt very dishonest
give
and uneasywhen women askedwhether we thought all feminists should
so
because
say
yes,
not
did
but
up sexualrelationshipswith men. we thought
we feared women would be alienated from all the rest of what we had to say.
The paper was written partly to resolveour uneaseand dishonesty'
..Political lrsbianism" was written very quickly in a high energy brain'
storming sessionone evening,for discussionat a Revolutionary and Radical
Feminist Conference.It reflected some discussionsour group had had, but in
a very condensedform. This wasbecausewe knew that we would be able to
and unpack these ideasin workshops at the conference.It went down
"*pund
quite well at the time and there were four workshops on the subject.
we were askedto put the paper in WIRES becauseit had sparkedoff
discussion,and women at the conferencewantedother women to join in with
the original paper availableto them. If it had sunk like a stone it wouldn't
have receivedany wider distribution.
Becauseit appearedin wIRES, it was seenas a finished product, which was
never intended. We were moving towards an analysisof how heterosexuality
is centralto women'soppression.The debatethat followed madeus look back
at the paper again and again,and our own discussionsbenefitted from the
feedback.We found someof our commentsflip, offensiveand inconsistent,
..why not take a woman lover?". we now think that "collaborators"
suchas
is the wrong word to describewomen who sleepwith men, since this implies
a consciousact of betrayal.Even if appliedsolely to heterosexualfeminists,
rather than to heterosexualwomen in general,it is inaccurate: most feminists
do not seemen as the enemy,or heterosexualityascrucial to male supremacy'
Again,our list of heterosexualprivilegesis incorrect,and doesnot answer
the questionwe raised.we realisethat this is a very important and complex
issueand needsfuller discussion.
Some lesbiansand some heterosexualfeminists saw the paper as an attack
on heterosexualwomen: in fact, we were criticisingheterosexualityas the
acceptedform of sexuality under male supremacy,and sayingthat it is used
to oppressus. This is not clearwhen we make statementslike "Attached to
. . .". By
all forms of sexualbehaviourare meaningsof dominance/submission

we mean male *xuality, as it is male xxuality that determines the

form that heterosexuality takes. Penny cloutte points out that we don't
explain ftow heterosexuality shoresup male supremacy- this ommission also
came out in discussionsat the conference.The discussionwhich followed has
forced us to retum to this and clarify it for ourselves.
The paper does not explain how we penonally arrived at these ideas.
Personalexperienceis important, as it is through this that we become feminists.
but we couldn't go into our individual backgroundsas there were several
women in the goup, so the paper would have ended up being far too long;
besides,we wanted to point conferencediscussiontowards political strategies,
and thought that our personalexperiencescould be talked about in the workshop if relevant. we tried to be accountableby listing our namesat the front
of the conferencepapers.
some women have seenthe paper as suggestingthat withdrawal of sexual
servicesfrom men is the sum total of our political strategy. we completely
disagreewith the idea that living as separatelyas possiblefrom men is by itself
sufficient to overthrow patriarchy; and we said so in a paper we wrote on
Separatismfor the sameconference.It would have been clearer if we had put
this paperin WIRESalongside"Political Lesbianism,'.
THE TITLE
some women have been puzzled about why a paper called "political Lesbianism"
concentrateson heterosexuality. In retrospect, the sub-title we added in the
WIRES version, "The CaseagainstHeterosexuality", is more accurate;but we
also recognisethat many women were glad to have the term 'political lesbian'
brought to their attention. We certainly didn't invent it, but not every woman
has read "Redstockings" and other American feminist writing from the early
'70s
where it was lust used. Also, some women were confusedas the term has
been usedsince then to mean lots of quite different things, such as lesbians
with a socialist awareness,non-lesbiansacceptingthe lesbian label as a gesture
of solidarity with lesbians,lesbianswho were membersof the Gay Liberation
Front, etc.,etc.
THE DEFINITION
we defined a Political Lesbianas a woman-identified-womanwho did not fuck
men. Wenow think it's rubbishto say that women fuck men;what happensis
that men fuck women, or women get fucked by men.
Woman-identified-woman
hasbeenusedso much that it is hard to think
aboul what it really means.When we re-examinedthe phrase,we realised
that we took it to mean: women who, by withdrawingtheir energyand zupport
from men, have put women first. In doing so, they have found that it is
incompatiblewith sleepingwith men. This had beenthe experienceof someof

68
us in the group. One woman in the group had not given up men for consciously
feminist reasons.We realisethat many lesbianshavenever slept with men at
all. We were trying to describethe processby which some feminists becorne
lesbians,and to say that it was possiblefor women to stop sleepingwith men
for political reasonswithout necessarilysleepingwith women. The value of
calling yourself a political lesbian is to state that you are not sexually
anailableto men; to repeat what we said in the paper, it is not about
compulsory sexual activity with women.
THE QUESTIONS
A lot of women presumedwe made them up. In fact, they were questions
we'd either asked ourselves,had been askedby friends, or had come up at
conferencesor meetings.
THE AFTERMATH
The furore that resulted after the paper was published in WIRES led some of
us to believe that there wasno room in the Women'sLiberation Movement
for real honesty about somethingas controversialas sexual politics. We don't
think that now, as a fully-fledged discusion around sexuality is taking place, as
this pamphlet shows.
Sometimeswe found it difficult to recogniseourselvesin some of the
caricaturesthat emergedfrom the debate as cadres,an elite, authoritarian. The
paper was written by a small group of women who really were in no position to
impose anything, except a paper for discussion,upon the Movement. We really
thought, when writing the paper, that we were merely expressingcommonly
held vieua which were just not uzually written down. To some extent we were
scapegoatedfor writing them down.
We were distressedto be accusedof being anti-heterosexual-women,when
one of the major aims of the paper was to start an honest dialogue about what
sexualorientation had to do with our politics. We seeheterosexuality as an
in'stitution of male domination, not a free expressionof personalpreference.
Heterosexuality is forced upon us from babyhood, it is extremely difficult to
break away from; but this fact is often dismissed.Believingthe personalis
political meanswe camot separatesexuality off from male supremacyas a
politics-free zone.
lal Coveney,Tina Crockett, Al Garthwaite, Sheila Jeffreys, Valerk Sinclair.
March1981.

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