Murphy 1

Ashling Murphy
Abrams
ENG 306
November 18, 2013
What I Told People
I gave people a lot of reasons for our move to North Carolina. I told them it was for my
dads job, for a lower cost of living. I told them it was because my parents were sick of the cold.
I told them it was because my grandma had died and my mom did not want to stay in New Jersey
if she was not there. When I was in my dramatic sob story sharing youth group phase, I told them
it was because I was bullied at school and some other sad thing that matched their stories of self
hate and sin. I did not tell people it was because my dad had quit his job for one 500 miles away,
with the promise that this would be it. I never said it was because my mom thought North
Carolina would save their marriage. Instead I lied and laughed and said we left New Jersey
because it was tacky.
I spent the eight hour drive from civilization to the redneck south squeezed between my
rabbits cage and the carrier that held our howling tabby cat Westcott. I listened to my sister
whine for eight hours that she was carsick. I thought about how we probably should have
changed the bedding in Baileys cage before we left. My mom talked about all the new
adventures we would have in North Carolina. I talked about the four weeks of summer break I
would lose because school started so early. Micaela got carsick.
I was standing in the Hillsborough Middle School locker bay when I told my friends I
was moving. They cried and I was relieved that their reactions matched the level of dramatics I
had been exerting at home. They told me I shouldnt have blurted it out like that and I told them I

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couldnt keep such a big secret from them any longer. Really I was just acting out the Dawsons
Creek version of this saga in my head and a blunt delivery with the slamming of my locker door
seemed appropriate. We made a petition to give to my parents and got everyone in my pod to
sign it. Forty-five poorly written signatures from seventh graders but the for sale sign stayed on
my lawn.
I questioned my parents incessantly about our move. Why are you doing this to me? Do
you understand how unfair this is? Are you running from the law? Where is North Carolina?
There was an outcry when my friends realized I would be moving there. Such a random state;
probably filled with farms we reasoned. The irony of this backlash is that we lived in
Hillsborough New Jersey, home of the Got Milk? cows. We voted at the municipal building,
which is where we also met for Brownies, and had the Fourth of July parade, and the Labor Day
picnic. We lived in a small town and yet we resented the thought that the South had fields.
I do not remember which excuse for moving I touted to those friends. They must have
accepted whatever I told them because I only visited that next summer before we lost touch but I
still have the petition they wrote for me.
We lived in a two-bedroom apartment for the first six months after our move. I told
people I made my sister sleep with my parents so I could have my own room. I told them we
were having a house built and then when no house was ever built I told them it was because we
did not like it. I never told the truth, which was that we could not afford to stay in North Carolina
much longer if our old house did not sell. I do not know if that counts as lying because really, no
one ever asked. When I felt like we had reached maximum capacity in that apartment I made a
PowerPoint presentation about why my sister and I should have our own cable box in our

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bedroom. My dad said I would make a great lawyer and my mom said I was spoiled. Even
though I do not think we could really afford it, they got us the box.
My mom hated living in that apartment almost as much as I did. We waited for our old
house to sell so we could move and when it finally did my dad quit the this is it job. I think
thats when my mom realized North Carolina could not solve my dads problems. We lived in
that apartment for another six months.
A five bedroom, three bath, house with a fenced in yard and big back deck was the next
thing my parents thought could save their marriage. I did not tell people that. Instead I painted
my room blue and hung a poster of Taylor Swift on the wall. Our family dog Trusty had made
the long trip down South with us and fallen sick shortly after. My mom didnt think she would be
able to bear getting another dog after Trusty died so she reasoned we should get one before. We
got a lab puppy and named him Clancy. Trusty started to lose the ability to walk after that so we
spread a blanket on the couch for him to lie on. Sometimes he wandered off and would get tired
and stuck in other rooms of the house and we would carry him back there. I felt kind of bad for
Trusty having to lie in one spot and watch Clancy run all around. He died a month later but we
left the blanket on the couch.
Clancy turned out to be really hyper and crazy and even though my dad did not have a
job, he didnt really train Clancy while he was home. My mom thought another dog would calm
Clancy down but at this point it just seemed like my mom thought dogs would save her marriage.
We got our second dog, Checkers, from a shelter on Halloween. When my parents eventually
separated we lost that house and my mom gave Clancy to a farm.
I was surprised when my parents separated. I was not surprised because my parents were
so in love, but because things had been bad between them for so long that I thought they wanted

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it that way. People started to ask me questions before I had the chance to tell them anything. I did
not tell them that my parents marriage had ended with a really pathetic fight over the mortgage
of our new house. I did not tell them that I hoped my mom would take my dad back just so I
wouldnt have to call him everyday to check on him. I did not tell them that none of us could
afford to move out of the house but we couldnt really afford to keep it either. Instead I told
people that having divorced parents was cool because I got twice the amount of presents on my
birthday.
I started to think we should have a reality show, or a comedy on ABC Family. Some
sitcom on a divorced couple with two kids living in the house they bought together. The house
they couldnt afford. The five rooms that did in their marriage but now conveniently allowed
everyone to have their own space. The people with two dogs that just made each other more
hyper and two daughters who just stayed in their rooms and watched TV and ignored their
divorced parents. I also started to think that living in that apartment really wasnt that bad.
After my parents divorce was finalized my dad got his own apartment. He only lived five
minutes away but I made excuses about work and school so I did not have to visit him. I did not
like visiting my dad because he had a studio apartment and it did not have much furniture. He
had a recliner that he watched TV on but it kind of reminded me of Trusty and the way that he
could only ever sit in one place. I did not tell my dad thats why I was always busy because how
do you tell someone you dont want to see them because they remind you of your dying dog? My
friends asked to visit my dad and see his new place. I told them I didnt really want to see either
of my parents so we had a sleepover two nights in a row. But then school started again and I
went back to my moms and my friends stopped asking about my parents.

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After awhile my mom met Scott and I started to resent her less. I saw how happy he made
her and I realized what she had been missing out on. I told my friends my mom was dating
because I knew they would be happy for her. They were, but they also asked me how it felt to
have a mom with a boyfriend when I had never had one. I reminded them that they were single
too and also about that one time with Will Martin and they left me alone. I did not tell my dad
that my mom had a boyfriend. Shortly after he moved to Charlotte so the secret got easier to
keep. I did not tell people that my dad was living with his old friend from high school Pete
because I didnt want them to think he was gay. Really I would have been relieved if that was the
case because at least he would be happy but I think he just honestly enjoyed having someone to
watch baseball with.
Sometimes when I think about moving here and my dog dying and losing our house and
my parents divorce I think about how negative it all sounds. But really if people asked, I would
tell them that I was happy. I would tell them that Im glad we moved down here because we
tested the boundaries of our weak family ties. I would tell them Im glad we moved because my
parents finally realized they could not save their marriage and I think we are all relieved to have
that burden lifted. I would tell them Im glad we adopted Checkers because I love him like I
loved Trusty and I know Clancy loves the farm hes on because he really was too hyper for an
apartment.
My family moved to North Carolina because my dad is bipolar. We moved because he
was in a manic phase and the south was his promised land. We moved to North Carolina because
my mom wanted to please my dad. Because she wanted to save her marriage and so she moved
her two daughters, and rabbit, and cat, and dog five hundred miles away from all of her family to
follow her husband. When we moved to North Carolina I discovered Chick-fil-A. I also

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discovered youth group, and One Tree Hill, and the Jonas Brothers. When we moved to North
Carolina we lived in an apartment, and then we bought a house, and then we lost the house, and
then we moved back into an apartment without my dad. But we did not move back to New
Jersey, because New Jersey is tacky.