Posted on Tue, Sep 4, 2007

Message to Otto: Know that your humans loved you

By Carla J. Zambelli
On Friday, Aug. 24, at a little after 9:30 a.m., we said good-bye to an English
Springer Spaniel named Otto. Otto had been a big part of my life these past 10 and
a half years. He wasn't just any dog, or at least to me he wasn't. I think he was
a magnificent creature.Otto was a rescued dog who came to me at six months of age,
and honestly, it was at a time when I thought one dog was enough. But once Winston
(my other Springer at the time) and I saw him, we knew we were goners. That first
look and we were hooked.

People have glowing eulogies and obituaries written about them when they pass on,
so why not our pets? My dogs have never been furry fashion accessories with legs
that changed with the seasons - they have always been part of the family. How can
you deny that furry face that looks at you with love, adoration, and even concern
when you have had a bad day? How can you deny the joyful look dogs have when they
know you've had a great day? Dogs offer humans the most rare and desired of gifts
that can't be purchased for any amount of money: love without strings. The
occasional leash, perhaps, but no strings. That elusive thing also known as
unconditional love.

Otto gave his all to his humans. He loved us all unconditionally and with
exuberance. But it was time to say good-bye, and last week he told me that.

Otto and I had a deal. He was a handicapped dog for the last 8 years, so life was
always adjusted to his pace. I always promised him no matter what anyone else said
or wanted, I would listen to him. The afternoon when I came home from work and
Otto didn't greet me at the door, I tried to pass it off as if he was having a bad
day. But the following morning, when he couldn't really get up, didn't really want
to move, and his eyes all of a sudden had a different look, we knew. Otto was
telling us we had done everything we could for him, and it was time to let him go.

Otto's last night was bittersweet and without much sleep. As I laid on the floor
next to my sweet boy, I relived 10-and-a-half years in a few short hours. We
shared one last dawn together. As he looked at me in the early dawn hours, I knew
he was saying good-bye. He was ready; his humans were a mess. Then, a short while
later, Otto was gone. He was free. I imagine him frolicking once again with his
brother Winnie, and he is no longer crippled.
Otto's humans and his doggy sister Mattie are left to carry on without him. And
we're all so sad. In time the tears will dry up and the grief will dissipate, but
in my heart I know there will never be another dog like Otto.

I know we did the right thing, I know it was time for him, even if it wasn't time
for me. But how do you say good-bye cheerfully to a loving constant in your life
like a dog? People are already asking if there is a puppy in our future. Yes,
there will always be room in my heart for another English Springer Spaniel, but
not right away. Otto isn't just a pair of shoes that needs replacing. Otto was
part of my family.

Right now, we have to get used to the void he leaves. His humans took it for
granted that every time we turned around and there he was - underfoot, just
waiting for us to give us a kiss or to receive a pat. And how now, after he's been
gone a few days, we are still looking for Otto around every corner.

But it was his time to leave and I made him a promise. A promise that was so very
hard to keep. The lines of a poem by Julia Napier sum it up pretty well: "If it
should be that I grow frail and weak And pain should keep me from my sleep, Then
will you do what must be done, For this - the last battle - can't be won. ... For
on this day, more than the rest, Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We've had so many happy years, You wouldn't want me to suffer so, When my time
comes, please, let me go ..."

Good-bye Otto. Know that your humans loved you.

Carla J. Zambelli writes an occasional column for Main Line Life