Holden Caulfields

Scrapbook

Anchita Khurana

SALLY HAYES
Finally, old Sally started coming up the stairs, and I
started down to meet her. She looked terrific. She really
did. She had on this black coat and sort of a black beret.
She hardly ever wore a hat, but that beret looked nice.
The funny part is, I felt like marrying her the minute I saw
her. Im crazy. I didnt even like her that much and yet all
of a sudden I felt like I was in love with her and wanted to
marry her. I swear to God Im crazy. I admit it. (124)
Oh, darling, I love you too, she said. Then, right in
the same damn breath, she said, Promise me youll let
your hair grow. Crew cuts are getting corny. And your
hairs so lovely. Lovely my ass. (125)
She always always knew somebody, any place you
took her, or thought she did. She kept saying that until I
got bored as hell, and I said to her, Why dont you go on
over and give him a big soul kiss, if you know him? Hell
enjoy it. She got sore when I said that. (127)

Sally Hayes. I used to go out with her a lot,

before I started going to Pencey. Shes pretty hot,
Ive gotta say, but shes also kind of dull. I used to
think that everyone I was necking at the time was
pretty hot-shot. Sally knew a lot about literature and
theatre, so I just assumed she was smart. Boy, I was
wrong. Shes actually extremely lacking in
intelligence.
On our date, all she did was talk to that goddam
prince we met there. She didnt even pay attention to
me. Wasnt I the one paying for her ticket? They had
the phoniest conversation Id ever been a witness of.
It almost made me sick. After the dumb play was over,
the guy walked us all the way to the goddam cab. I
thought he was gonna come with us, that bastard.
Fortunately he left, and I was alone with Sally once
again. I was all ready to take Sally home when she had
this marvelous idea. Fantastic. She suggested we go
skating. Skating, of all things. I knew she just wanted
to wear those goddam short skirts that they give out.
But I cant deny her little butt looked fantastic. I
felt like I was in love with her. I told her my plan to
run away, and begged her to come with me. She got
really upset for no reason at all. She said I was
yelling, but I sure as hell wasnt. She got all sore at
my suggestion but I still wanted wanted to marry her,
God knows why. I dont know why I asked her. Shes a
royal pain in the ass. I told her and she threw this
huge goddamned fit and almost started crying. I dont
even like her. I still wanted to marry her, though. I
know, I know. Im a madman.

Robert Ackley
Old Ackley parked himself in my room, just for a change.
Only, instead of sitting on the arm of Stradlater's chair, he
laid down on my bed, with his face right on my pillow and
all. He started talking in this very monotonous voice, and
picking at all his pimples. I dropped about a thousand
hints, but I couldn't get rid of him. (Page 37)
I asked Mal if he minded if Ackley came along with us.
The reason I asked was because Ackley never did anything
on Saturday night, except stay in his room and squeeze
his pimples or something. (Page 36)
He started cleaning his goddam fingernails with the end
of a
match. He was always cleaning his fingernails. It was
funny, in a way. His teeth were
always mossy-looking, and his ears were always dirty as
hell, but he was always cleaning
his fingernails. I guess he thought that made him a very
neat guy. (Page 22)
He didn't care if you'd packed something or not and had
it way in the top of the closet. I got them for him though. I
nearly got killed doing it, too. The second I opened the
closet door, Stradlater's tennis racket-in its wooden press
and all-fell right on my head. It made a big clunk, and it

hurt like hell. It damn near killed old Ackley, though. He

started laughing in this very high falsetto voice. (Page
23)
Robert Ackley, who I fondly call Ackley kid, is
this annoying senior who lives in the room across from
me and Stradlater. Hes big and tall, but hes
extremely round shouldered without much muscle. He
didnt shower much, and I dont think Ive ever even
seen him brush his teeth. Hes always cleaning out his
fingernails, though. Its like he thinks clean
fingernails will make him seem like a neat person.
Anyways, after coming back from Old Spencers, I
thought itd be nice to relax and read a book.
Unfortunately for me, Ackley decided to come bother me
right then. He stood in front of me, and kept asking me
the stupidest goddam questions. No matter how much I
tried to get rid of him, he never took the hint. I got
so annoyed, I ended up yelling at him to leave. Hes a
very slow bastard.
Later that night, me and Mal were going out to a
movie. I thought about inviting Ackley. He never went
anywhere on Saturday nights, just stayed in his room.He
was pretty lonely, obnoxious as he as. Mal said he
didnt mind, so I invited Ackley to go out with us. He
gave me several chances to regret asking, but it was
too late at that point, you know.

Phoebe Caulfield
Holden! she said right away. She put her arms around
my neck and all. Shes very affectionate. I mean shes
quite affectionate, for a child. Sometimes shes even too
affectionate. (161)
Old Phoebes clothes were on this chair right next to the
bed. Shes very neat, for a child. I mean she doesnt just
throw her stuff around, like some kids. Shes no slob.
(159)
Shes very good in spelling. Shes very good in all her
subjects, but shes the best in spelling. Then, under the
speller, there were a bunch of notebooks. She has about
five thousand notebooks. You never saw a kid with so
many notebooks. (160)
Then I told her about the record. Listen, I bought you a
record, I told her. Only I broke it on the way home. I took
the pieces out of my coat pocket and showed her. I was
plastered, I said.
Gimme the pieces, she said. Im saving them.
She took them right out of my hand and then she put
them in the drawer of the night table. She kills me. (163164)

Phoebe Caulfield is my little sister. Shes 11

years old, and shes very intelligent. Shes one of my
favorite people. She always knows how to make me laugh
and smile when nobody else can. The time I went to
visit her when I ran away from Pencey, was very nice
since itd been so long since Id seen her. I went
home, and snuck into D.B.s room, where she had been
sleeping for a while. Old Phoebe claimed she liked to
spread outspread out what? She was 11. She kills me.
When she woke up, she was so enthusiastic to see me.
That felt nice. Not a lot of people are so excited to
see me. I awkwardly gave her a kiss as she embraced me.
When I gave her the record that Id broken, instead of
becoming irritated, like most other people, Phoebe had
taken the record and put it in a safe place. I was
having a great time, until Phoebe figured out that I
got kicked out from Pencey. She started giving me a
hard time after that, until we heard my mother come
home. She stopped being bratty after that, and gave me
some money, even though I insisted I didnt need much.
After that gesture, I broke into sobs. I dont even
know why, but it sure scared she hell out of Phoebe. I
cried for a while, but she stayed with me, holding me
in comfort. Shes a good kid.

Ward Stradlater

Stradlater was more of a secret slob. He always looked

alright, Stradlater, but for instance, you shouldve seen the
razor he shaved himself with. It was always rusty as hell and
full of lather and hairs and crap. He never cleaned it or
anything. He always looked good when he was finished fixing
himself up, but he was a secret slob anyway, if you knew him
the way I did. (27)
Hey, Stradlater said. Wanna do me a big favor?
What? I said. Not too enthusiastic. He was always asking you
to do him a big favor. You take a very handsome guy, or a guy
that thinks hes a real hot-shot, and theyre always asking you
to do them a big favor. (27)
Je-sus Christ. He put down his razor, and all of a sudden
jerked his arms up and sort of broke my hold on him. He was a
very strong guy. Im a very weak guy. Now, cut out the crap,
he said. He started shaving himself all over again. He always
shaved himself twice, to look gorgeous. With his crumby razor.
(30)
All of a sudden, he said, For Chrissake, Holden. This is about
a goddam baseball glove.
So what? I said. Cold as hell.
Wuddya mean so what? I told ya it had to be about a goddam
room or a house or something.
You said it had to be descriptive. What the hells the
difference if its about a baseball glove?
God damn it. He was sore as hell. (41)

Ward Stradlater used to be my roommate when I still

went to Pencey. He was a funny guy. He was pretty
handsome-- yearbook handsome, mind you. He was the
kinda guy who loved him image, but would shave with the
same razor for years. A secret slob. Anyways, he went
out with Jane Gallagher the other day. He couldnt even

remember her name, and he kept her waiting in the

Annex. I wanted to go down and see her, but I ended up
not going at all. While Stradlater was gone, I worked
on a composition he asked me to work on. I wrote a
composition for him while he was gone. It was supposed
to be descriptive, on a room or something, but I
decided to write about my brother Allies baseball
mitt. I carried it around everywhere with me, since the
time he passed away. It took me a while, but I finished
soon enough. When Stradlater came back, I showed him
the composition, and he got really sore about it. He
told me he wanted a composition on a room, or
something. I asked him what the goddam difference was,
but he was still being a bastard. So I took the
composition and ripped it up into pieces. I threw it
into the trash and began to smoke a cigarette, which
just annoyed Stradlater even more. It was funny how
uptight about the rules he was, considering he gave it
to every girl he went out with, whether she wanted it
or not. I wanted to know what he did to Jane but he
kept being all vague about the date, so I tried to
punch him. I was unsuccessful, and I ended up under his
stupid goddam knees. I hated him in that moment.

Allie Caulfield
Anyway, I kept walking and walking up Fifth Avenue, without
any tie on or anything. Then all of a sudden, something very spooky
started happening. Every time I came to the end of a block and
stepped off the goddam curb, I had this feeling that I'd never get to
the other side of the street. I thought I'd just go down, down, down,
and nobody'd ever see me again. Boy, did it scare me. You can't
imagine. I started sweating like a bastardmy whole shirt and
underwear and everything. Then I started doing something else.
Every time I'd get to the end of a block I'd make believe I was
talking to my brother Allie. I'd say to him, "Allie, don't let me
disappear. Allie, don't let me disappear. Allie, don't let me disappear.
Please, Allie." And then when I'd reach the other side of the street
without disappearing, I'd thank him. (197-198)
...I wrote about my brother Allies baseball mitt. It was a very
descriptive subject. It really was. My brother Allie had this lefthanded fielders mitt. He was left-handed. the thing that was
descriptive about it, though, was that he had poems written all over
the fingers and the pocket and everywhere. In green ink. he wrote
them on it so then hed have something to read when he was in the
field and nobody was up at bat. (38)

But it wasnt just that he was the most intelligent member in the
family. He was also the nicest, in lots of ways. he never got mad at
anybody. people with red hair are supposed to get mad very easily,
but Allie never did, and he had very red hair. Ill tell you what kind
of red hair he had...God, he was a nice kid, though. He used to laugh
so hard at something he thought of at the dinner table that he just
about fell off his chair. (38)
All the visitors could get in their cars and turn on their radiators
and all and then go someplace nice for dinner-- everybody except
Allie. I couldnt stand it. I know only his body and all thats in the
cemetery, and his souls in Heaven and all that crap, but I couldnt
stand it anyway. I just wish he wasnt there. You didnt know him. if
youd known him, youd know what I mean. (156)
***

Allie is my little brother. I really, really like

him. Hes dead now, though. He got leukemia a few years
back and died. Its a shame. He was the nicest,
smartest kid I knew. He had red hair like fire, and he
played baseball. He had this baseball mitt, that he
wrote poems on, so he could keep himself entertained on
the outfield. I take the mitt with me everywhere I go,
and sometimes I like to read the poems. I wish there
were more people in the world like Allie. He doesnt
deserve to be buried underground with all the other
dead guys. Allie never got mad at anybody, even though
redheads are supposed to be easily angered. He used to
laugh so hard sometimes. He was such a great kid. I
still talk to him sometimes, when I feel really weak. I
ask and pray for him to keep me safe.
Its so hard knowing somebody and then suddenly
having them gone forever. I dont know how people do
it.

Pencey Prep
Pencey was full of crooks. Quite a few guys came from these very
wealthy families, but it was full of crooks anyway. The more
expensive a school is, the more crooks it has-- Im not kidding. (4)
We always had the same meal on Saturday nights at Pencey. It was
supposed to be a big deal, because they gave you steak. Ill bet a
thousand bucks the reason they did that was because a lot of guys
parents came up to school on Sunday, and old Thurmer probably
figured everybodys mother would ask their darling boy what he had
for dinner last night, and hed say Steak. What a racket. (35)
***
Pencey Prep was the crummy school my parents sent me to,
after Id flunked out of a few other schools. I cant say I liked
it there. The whole place was pretty phony and full of bastards.
The headmaster was Old Thurmer, who tried to tell me life was a
game. How lousy. Saturday, a few days before I was to be
expelled from the school, I went to see Old Mr. Spencer. He was
the only person I said goodbye to. He ended up being very upset
with me, since he felt like I was gonna end up a failure in life.
I dont really care that Im leaving Pencey. I hated it
anyways. Everyone at the school is a bastard. I cant even
remember any goddam good memories with anyone. Honestly, Id
rather go live on my own, away from the world and all its people.
Everyone in the real world is just a phony.

Jane Gallagher
Then all of a sudden, this tear plopped down on the checkerboard.
On one of the red squaresboy, I can still see it. She just rubbed it
into the board with her finger. I dont know why, but it bothered hell
out of me. So what I did was, I went over and made her move over on
the glider so that I could sit down next to her-- I practically sat down
in her lap, as a matter of fact. Then she really started to cry, and the
next thing I knew, I was kissing her all over--anywhere--her eyes, her
nose, her forehead, her eyebrows and all, her ears-- her whole face
except her mouth and all. She sort of wouldnt let me get to her
mouth. Anyways, it was the closest we ever got to necking. (78-79)
Shes a dancer, I said. Ballet and all. She used to practice about two
hours every day, right in the middle of the hottest weather and all. She
was worried that it might make her legs lousy--all thick and all. I used
to play checkers with her all the time....She wouldnt move any of her
kinds. What shed do, when shed get a king, she wouldnt move it.
Shed just leave it in the back row. Shed get them all lined up in the
back row. Then shed never use them. She just liked the way they
looked when they were all in the back row. (31-32)

I knew her like a book. I really did. I mean, besides checkers, she was
quite fond of all athletic sports, and after I got to know her, the whole
summer long we played tennis together almost every morning and
gold almost every afternoon. (76)
I wouldnt exactly describe her as strictly beautiful. She knocked me
out, though. She was sort of muckle-mouthed. (77)
***

I really miss Jane. Ive been meaning to call her up,

but every time I plan to, I never end up doing it. I
want to ask her if she still keeps her kings in the
back row, and I want to show her Allies baseball mitt.
Shes into that kind of stuff, I know shed like it.
Jane was beautiful, even though she might not have been
to everyone else. When that bastard Stradlater took her
out, I couldnt get it out of my mind. It didnt seem
right. Jane isnt that kind of girl. I wish it was me
who had gone out with her instead of Stradlater. We
wouldve gotten a chance to catch up with each other.
We knew each other intimately; but not in a physical
way. I know I could tell her anything.

Old Mr. Spencer

The minute I went in, I was sort of sorry I'd come. He was
reading The Atlantic Monthly, and there were pills and
medicine all over the place, and everything smelled like
Vicks Nose Drops. It was pretty depressing. I'm not too
crazy about sick people, anyway. What made it even more
depressing, old Spencer had on this very sad, ratty old
bathrobe that he was probably born in or something. I
don't much like to see old guys in their pajamas and
bathrobes anyway. (7)
You glanced through it, eh? he said--very sarcastic.
Your, ah, exam paper is over there on top of my chiffonier.
On top of the pile. Bring it here, please.
It was a very dirty trick, but I went over and brought
it over to him-- I didnt have any alternative or
anything...He started handling my exam paper like it was
a turd or something. (11)
He tried chucking my exam paper on the bed when we
was through with it. Only, he missed again, naturally. I had
to get up again and pick it up and put it on top of the
Atlantic Monthly. Its boring to do that every two minutes.
(12)
***

Old Spencer was the person I really said goodbye to

at Pencey. He was my history teacher-- the teacher of
one of the goddam classes Id failed. He had asked me
to come over to his house before I left, so he could
talk to me. When I went there, I saw him with his Vicks
and medicine and old-people magazines and it really
depressed me. Whats the point of being old? You just

become useless. He started lecturing me, telling me Im

going to fail in life and I better get my act together.
He read my last test out loud, and that was
embarrassing as hell. He made me sit through that. He
kept asking me if I understood why he failed me, which
I did. I told him that so many times, but he still
couldnt seem to get himself together. Anyways, I
couldnt stand it anymore in there, so I got up to
leave. As I was leaving his house, Old Spencer yelled
Goodluck! at me, which made me feel even more
depressed.