SEO: College Park community development sparks differing opinions

Students react to College Park development plans

Students hold high expectations for new College Park facilities
By Kayla Schorr
In what seems to be an archaic version of College Park, students used to horde
into the confines of the concrete walls of The Barking Dog. After building an appetite by
spending hours scrambling to get drinks and shouting the lyrics to Katy Perrys new
single, students trotted along Route 1 for a bite of Ratsies Pizza. To conclude their night,
they would return to the solace of their Knox Box houses.
To match the ambience of College Park with the universitys prestige, many city
developers have initiated efforts within the last few years to build newer and more
aesthetic infrastructures.
Attracting new audience
The new buildings such as the Landmark, Terrapin Row, The Hotel and a soon-tobe-named coffee house replacing College Park Auto Parts are just the start of a rapidly
transforming College Park. To further research opinions on the development of College
Park eight students answered questions about how this process will affect the community.
Many students, such as sophomore marketing major Andrew Shapiro, believe that the
there is a link between College Parks development and the universitys entry into the Big
Ten Conference.

(more)

K. Schorr W/R #14 (TA#2), A#1, Development, p. 2

Other schools in the network have nice surrounding towns that make people
want to travel there for the games, Shapiro said.
In addition to cultivating a town suitable for lodging
and entertaining more sports fans, developers have visions
for College Park to be more of a substantial community,
rather than just a typical college town. By building
modern living infrastructures, adults can also enjoy the
College Park milieu.
College Park is upgrading its facilities to be more of
a livable town, junior art and psychology double major
Lauren Keyes said. Right now, its just a few streets of
fraternities and some mediocre restaurants, she said.

Andrew Shapiro believes

that the College Park
development is linked to the
universitys entry into the
Big Ten Conference.
Photo by Kayla Schorr

Sustaining the classic College Park

With constant updates to the College Park

It is still the same big state

school that we all know and
love. Scott Goyette

community, the university has a chance to attract a

new type of applicant, maybe one that truly values
the outer community of a school maybe even more
than they value the actual campus.

(more)

K. Schorr W/R #14 (TA#2), A#1, Development, p. 3

Sophomore community health major, Jessica
Goldstein, said, at the end of the day, it is still the same
school, just with some new buildings in the surrounding
town.
Many students feel that College Parks development
will enhance their college experiences, but not exactly change
the schools applicant pool.
Jessica Goldstein says
that the College Park
development will not
change the campus
environment.
Photo by Kayla Schorr

Nothing is really changing. Even with fancy

apartment buildings and a four star hotel, it is still the same
big state school that we all know and love, said Scott
Goyette, senior kinesiology major.

Whether we get our pizza from Ratsies or our chicken from Nandos Peri-Peri,
have our parents stay in the Quality Inn or Route 1 or The Hotel, the College Park
community will continue to flourish.
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Person on the Street Synopsis

Type of story
This story is about the new development of College Park and its effect on
students at the University of Maryland.
o Key story elements include interviews with several university students, a
pull out quote, subheads diving different ideas and an ongoing comparison
between the old and new College Park.
o Techniques include using LORI words to provide the reader with
elaborate images, organizing the story by students opinions, and using the
Focus, Order, Repetition, Kiss-off (FORK) method.
Focus: I used my nut graf and supporting sentences to focus
my story on its central point.
Order: I organized my paper by breaking it up into two sides
of the situation: people who think the development will change
the university and people who think it will not have a very
dramatic effect.
Repetition: To sustain an organized flow of ideas, I repeated
certain points in new paragraphs to create useful transitions.
Kiss off: Whenever I introduced a new idea, I talked about it
briefly and then moved on to a new paragraph.
Focus/theme of story
The story focuses on interviews. It pinpoints different students viewpoints on the
degree to which the development of College Park will change the community.
News Values
Timeliness: The story discusses changes currently being made as well as changes
being made in the very near future.
Impact: The development will have a direct effect on the lives of many members
of the University of Maryland and College Park communities.
Target audiences
Students: This change directly affects students because they now have new living
and eating options
Graduate students and faculty: The new living spaces can attract more than just
students.
Parents: Instead of staying in the outdated hotels on Route 1, they can now stay
in a luxurious, four-star hotel like The Hotel.

Person on the Street 5 Cs

Compare
Word count
SEO character count
Words per sentence
Sentences per paragraph
Passive voice
Grade level
Cut

Original
447
34
25.2
1.7
0%
12.0

Rewrite
431
60
24.9
1.5
0%
11.7

I cut 3.6% of the original word count

I cut out in order in the phrase in order to match the ambience of College Park
with the universitys prestige to omit needless words.
I cut out determiners in subheads such as the and a to omit needless words
I cut said Goldstein out of a paragraph in which I already attributed Goldsteins
quote.

Contribute
I added a bit about the logistics of the interviews, including how many students
answered interview questions and why this research was conducted.
I added a few words to the SEO to fit the character requirement
Clean up
I added an L in the word all in the box quote because I left one out.
Collaborate
My TA, Adalie, advised that I pay attention to the appearance and content inmy
box quotes. It is easy to make the text too big and make silly spelling errors since
AutoCorrect sometimes does not pick up on them.
Professor Toth recommended that I break into new paragraphs more often because
they sometimes become too long.
Professor Toth advocated using more subheads to break up the storys points.
Professor Toth recommended that I avoid an opinionated ending; however, Adalie
said that she loved my ending. Because of this controversy, I left the original
ending because that was my favorite part of the story.