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JashanGill
Ms.Gardner
English10H/Period6
22January2016
MyPersonalArsenal
Lookathergo!Mymothergaspedasshewitnessedmyfirststeps,thebeginningofmylong
journey.Myparentswatchedasmybonessproutedtotheiradultsize,asmybabyteethgrewtothepoint
wheretheyfellout,tobeinstantlyreplacedwithdevelopedones.However,itisnotonlythemindthat
maturesingrowth,itisthebody,theskeleton.
Inmyparentsdarkgreenbedroom,myfamilysplaceofrefuge,mysister,Lakhvir,would
whispertomedifferentbitsofinformationaboutmybodywhenIwasmerelybecominginterestedinthe
humanbodyandthemedicalfield,duringtheonsetintomymiddleschoolyears.Didyouknowyour
bonesareallconnectedtooneanotherwithjointstogethertheymakeupyourskeleton?andWhenyou
makeyourfingersintoagun,metaphorically,obliteratinganyfoethatstandsinyourway,yourhandis
actuallymorecomplexandintricatethananygunaround.Thesenewpiecesofinformationaboutmy
bodywereunknowntomeinmyteens,whenIwasonlygettingthroughmiddleschool,andflourishing
intoayoungacademicstudent.Iwasonlybeginningtodevelopmyknowledgeofthecontentofmybody,
thismysteriousstructurethatwasthelifelinetowhatitmeanstobeme.Iyearnedforanswersastowhy
mybodylookedsodifferentfromeveryoneelses.Demandinganswersfrommymom,Jasbir,Iwould
ask,Whyismynosebiggerthanhers?orWhydoIhavemanhands,whiletheothergirlsinmy
classhavedaintyones?orWhydomyfeethavetobesodarnbig?Theseinsecuritieswereonly
startingtoprogress.WhywasItheonetobeleftwiththeshortendofthestick?Yourethewayyouare
becauseyoureamixtureofus,myparentsanswered.Thisshortexplanationtaughtmeselfworthandto
embracemyflawsbecausetheyaremyparentsgenes.


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Theskeletonisunderappreciated.Drawingsanddepictionsofthehumantissuehavebeenaround
formillennia,yetwestilldontquiteunderstanditsutterimportanceandhowitcanmakeorbreaka
person.Thisnetworkof206bonesworkshardtokeepusmovinghowever,wedon'tacknowledgethe
complexitythatisthehumanbodyanditssuperbqualities.
Eachboneisacomplexlivingorganthatis
madeupofmanycells,proteinfibers,andminerals.Theskeletonactsasascaffoldbyprovidingsupport
andprotectionforthesofttissuesthatmakeuptherestofthebody(Taylor).Yourskeletoniswhatmakes
you,you.Itsignifiesyouridentitybecauseweareshapedbyourappearancenowmatterhowhardwetry
andfightit.
IadmireSpanishspeakingcountriesforpraisingtheskeleton,particularlyonthedayofthe
dead.LaCatrina,amainemblemforthedayofthedead,isaskeletalbodiedfiguresymbolizing
happinessandjoyforpastlovedonesonthiscandlelitday.So,whydowelookatourbodieswithsuch
hateanddisgustratherthanpraisingourselvesandourinternalsystemthatdrudgesdayandnighttokeep
ussaneandhuman?
Itendtothinkofmybonesasanarsenal,seeminglydangerous,althoughIwouldratherusethem
asmydefense.Withthewarofstress,humanitysmostimpenetrableenemy,Isavoragoodmassageto
thetemplesofmygrenades,whosetriggersgetrattledeverysooften.Ipulloutmycannonsandaimthem
towardtheideaofstrengthandcourageandfirewithnohesitation.Iretrievethoseideasandconvertthem
intoareality.Mytransportationdevicesaremysignsofmyabilitytoramthroughanyobstaclethat
choosestostandinmyway.ThegluethatkeepseverythingintactissomethingIcherishthemost,
becauseitkeeps,whatfragileweaponsaskeletonreallyis,together.Thephrasesticksandbonesmay
breakmybonesbutwordswillneverhurtmeistrueinthesensethatgluedoesntalwayssticktogether
andawaralwaysresultsindamageandloss.Butitistherecoverythatmakesmyarsenalstrongerthan
itseverbeenbefore.
RecoveryisawordIknowalltoowell.Fromswellingandstiffnesstohospitalbedanddiagnosis.
Thegluethatholdsmypreciousbonestogether,myjoints,chosetogiveinandabsorbtremendous


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amountsofpain,tofarexceedthelimitsofanyfourteenyearold,topushmeoffacliffthatIneverknew
wasthere.Lastyear,intheOaklandKaiserHospital,Iwasjailedinmybed,attachedtoanIV,andleft
disregardedbymyfailingbody.Ilayonanuncomfortable,creamcoloredbedstaringatthelumpyceiling
ofmydarkblueroomforhoursquestioningifIhaddoneeverythingpossibletopreventthisfrom
happening,ifIdeservedwhatwasshotatme,ifIwasworthyofapainlesslife,becauseduringthattimeI
hadnoproofotherwise.Havingyourownbodyhurtanddisableyoufromenjoyinglife,tohaveitsnatch
yourlivelinessandabilitiestomaneuverwithoutbeingburdenedwithanewsharpandabruptingpain,
washorrilble.Tohaveyourbodysmostimportantpartsgiveuponyouwhenyouneverwanteditto,was
onlythetipofwhatIendured.
IshedtearsonmorenightsthanIcancountovermydisappointmentofabody.Icriedonthe
nightbeforegoingtothedoctorstofindoutwhatwaswrongwithme:IsobbedonthenightIfoundout.I
wantedsobadlyforittobeover,toplaybasketball,feelingtheslightbumpsoftheball,andbeingableto
shootandhearthesoftswooshofamadebasketwithouthavingagonybewhatIscore.Iwanted
desperatelyformymindtocheerupandtakeitselfoutofthegray,gloomycloudsandbehappy.To
simplybehappy.Interrogatingmybody,Iquestioned,Isthisapunishmentfornottryingmyhardest,or
notbeingthebestpersonIcanbe?
Thispunishmentcontrolsmyeverywakingmoment,suffocatingmyjudgmentandfreedomtobe
academicallychallenged,suckingoutmyverylifeforceandenergyleavingfatigueasitssymptom.But
asofnow,ithaschosentosubside,givingmeenoughtimetorealiseitspurpose.IlookatmybodyandI
seeafighter,notthecheesyversion,butarealgunblastingwariswhatIunderwent,andIdonotregretit.
Ihavebecomesomuchstronger,tougherinbothmindandbody.Ihavelearnedtopraisemyabilitiesto
dosimplethingssuchaswalkingandevenswallowingwithoutpain.Ihavelearnednottotakeforgranted
howblessedIamtobeabletogotoschool,tolearn,andtosocializebecausepeoplewhowereinmy


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samepositiondidnotgetthatchancetogobacktoschoolsomearestillstuckinthatlimbobetween
emptinessandliveliness.
Iapologizedtomybodyforbeingfuriouswithitquittingonmeaslongasitcontinuestodoits
jobIwillthankmylovelyandimperfectcartilageforpushingthroughintheend.Ihavelearnedagreat
quotefromKenjiMiyazawa,aphilosopher,statingthat,Wemustembracepainandburnitforthefuel
ofourjourney.IknowthatthatpainIrodethroughwasjustthebeginningofalongandnarrowroad
aheadofme,butIamreadyforanyobstacle
thatlifethrowsatme,becauseIhavemymanhandsready
tocatchit.
Ourbodyworkstosupportandmaintainourshape,size,andessenceasexpressedbymysister.
Although,Isimplyhopemyparentswillcontinuetobeproudofmymentalandphysicalachievements
enoughtopersistinsaying,Lookathergo!,forthereasonthat,Ihavetoworkhandinhandwithmy
skeletonandbodyasawholeeverysingledaytomaintainitandkeepmyinternalflamesatease,because
withtheamountofammoIlug,toomuchheatwillsetmeablast.


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WorksCited

Taylor,Tim."SkeletalSystem."
InnerBody
.InnerBody,n.d.Web.22Jan.2016.