Book Review1

Assignment: Book Review

Name: Kate Morden
Instructor: Heather Kelly
Course: COUN101 Neurodevelopment, Loss and Recovery
Date: Wednesday, July 31st, 2013

Book Review2
Introduction
The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog, written by Bruce D. Perry and Maia
Szalavitz, contains many stories from a child psychiatrists notebook (Perry &
Szalavitz, 2007). Each chapter is a different story of a child who was, in someway,
severely traumatized during their upbringing. This novel demonstrates the affect that
trauma, such as physical, sexual, and emotional abuse and/or neglect, has on children and
youths lives, and also enlightens the readers on how to heal the hurt ones. Evidentially,
this novel links to five themes development, attachment, attunement, modulation, and
safety which will be further explained throughout this paper.
Development
Chapter 4, Skin Hunger, reveals what infants and young children need for
healthy brain development and demonstrates how neglecting those needs can have a
profound impact on every aspect of a childs growth (Perry & Szalavitz, 2007, p. 81).
Laura, at four years old, was diagnosed with infantile anorexia due to the unintentional
and ignorant neglect from her mother (Perry & Szalavitz, 2007, p. 82 & 87). Because
Laura experienced neglect in her early childhood years, Laura did not have a healthy
development; as a result, she did not physically grow, despite how many calories she
consumed in a day (Perry & Szalavitz, 2007, 81).
Similar to Laura, my parents, unintentionally, did not entirely meet my physical
needs as a newborn. This was because I was having trouble breastfeeding. Often times,
my hunger was not satisfied; therefore, I was a very irritable baby who cried profusely
and was unable to be comforted. My physical development was hindered like Lauras; for

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example, at three weeks old, I was less than my birth weight. As a result of this, my
beliefs about myself are that I am worthless and unloved.
I believe that because my physical needs werent entirely met as a newborn, I
quickly developed an anxious personality. In lecture, we learned about different
attachment styles. I believe I have an anxious attachment style in which I crave
attachment, yet become very anxious when I have it (H. Kelly, personal communication,
2013). This causes me to push people away and then pull them close. Because I didnt
develop a secure attachment when I was a child, I entered this world feeling unsafe; as a
result, today, I am anxious and insecure, and I also have a low sense of self-worth (H.
Kelly, personal communication, 2013). As mentioned above, I do not trust easily and I am
often skeptical of others. This affects my life, as it impacts my relationships with other
people. It causes me to be distant from others or feel very anxious when I get close to
someone. I often end up sabotaging the relationship as a means to control it so that I dont
get hurt in the end. I have a fear of being rejected and abandoned from the people I love
and care about, or anyone for that matter. My social life is impacted as well for the same
reasons. On the other hand, despite having these beliefs and negative impacts on my life
as a result of it, because it was unintentional, similar to Lauras neglect, my parents were
able to get the help they needed, like Virginia was able to; for example, in the chapter
Skin Hunger, Mamma P helped teach Virginia what exactly Laura, her daughter, needed
so that she could have a healthy development. Likewise, a public house nurse/breast
feeding specialist did the same for my parents. I was bottled instead of breast-fed. They
hooked me up to a pump in which the milk bladder came with a tube, where I was able to
get gratification from sucking. I eventually got the hang of it, and was able to grow and

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gain weight, just like Laura did. Despite the unintentional neglect of my physical needs,
my parents were always there for me; they did everything they could to meet my needs
and provide me with a good upbringing. They were very loving and caring parents. As a
result, I believe my attachment style wasnt all that unhealthy/insecure; in fact, for the
most part, I had quite a healthy development.
Being anxious and insecure, and having a low sense of self-worth, could impact
my work as a Child and Youth Worker. This is because it could affect my relationships
with my clients, as well as my coworkers. Without trust, connections and relationships
are challenging to develop. As a result, I may be very distant; this could hinder my
progress. On the other hand, because I eventually had a healthy development, my work as
a Child and Youth Worker could then be impacted positively; for instance, having
experience and knowledge about healthy development will allow me to be aware of and
meet the needs of the clients I work with. I can also educate others to further promote
healthy development. In addition, having a healthy development as a child has made me
become a very caring person. This will benefit my work as a Child and Youth Worker, as
I will be able to affectionately care for others and empathize with them.
Attachment
In Chapter 1, Tinas World, Tina had been abused by a sixteen-year-old boy,
her babysitters son during the ages four to six (Perry & Szalavitz, 2007, p. 8). As a
result, Tina, who was now a 7-year-old girl, often displayed aggression and inappropriate
sexual behaviour towards others, as she struggled to create healthy boundaries; for
example, on her first therapy session with Bruce Perry, while Tina sat on his lap, she
attempted to undue his zipper (Perry & Szalavitz, 2007, p. 7).

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When I was 14 years old, I was sexually abused for an on-going period. As a
result, I became very anxious, depressed and withdrawn. I also had symptoms of Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder. My sexual abuse affected me in many ways, for example, to
this day, similar to Tina, I struggle to set boundaries with others, especially with males.
Furthermore, my outlook on myself, others and life itself changed; I began to view
everything very negatively. Because of this event, my beliefs about myself are that I am
worthless and powerless.
The sexual abuse I experienced changed me; it changed my life, my interactions
with others, and beliefs about self. I felt and still feel different, anxious, insecure,
negative, lost, confused, non-assertive, indecisive, doubtful, distrusting, dirty, shameful,
powerless, helpless, hopeless, and non-belonging. It also lowered my self-esteem and
self-worth. Since then, I have put up an imaginary wall around me so that others arent
able to hurt me. Most of the time, I dont let people get close to me, as I dont give others
a chance to get to know me and vise versa (Najavits, 2002). I am quiet, reserved and
although a friendly person, I can sometimes appear aloof. Although this strategy helps
protect me at times, it also makes me feel very alone (Najavits, 2002). In addition, I
have trouble making and keeping friendships, as well as maintaining healthy
relationships. Similar to Tina, as mentioned above, I also have trouble setting/creating
healthy boundaries, as it is a challenge for me to be assertive and to set boundaries with
others, whether that be physical, sexual, or emotional boundaries (Najavits, 2002). To be
assertive and set boundaries, such as to state whats on my mind, how I feel or what I
want, to say no, and to stand up for myself, is a challenge for me because I am afraid of
not being liked, hurting others, making others angry or upset, and so on (Najavits, 2002).

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Furthermore, I perceive the world as a dangerous and scary place, as I do not trust people;
this leaves me feeling anxious and skeptical of others. Not only do I not trust the people
around me, but I also do not trust myself. In turn, this affects all aspects of my life, such
as my confidence, decision-making, initiative, friendships, relationships, school and work
performance, etc.
Having been a victim of sexual abuse, my work as a Child and Youth Worker
could potentially be impacted. In fact, speaking from personal experience, it has. A
semester ago, I was completing my second placement with Mon Ami Children Services at
a group home. Mon Ami Children Services deals with traumatized children who have
experienced neglect, and physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse. As a result, these
children have many behavioural and emotional difficulties. I had already had seven
weeks of experience working with this agency prior to my second placement; however, it
was in a school setting opposed to a group home. I found the group home setting a lot
more challenging; for example, because I struggle with being assertive, setting
boundaries, and communicating with people I dont know, these challenges hindered me
from correcting behaviours, engaging with the staff/children, and taking initiative. I did
not trust the children, neither my coworkers/supervisors, so I was very quiet and insecure.
I was afraid to set boundaries, to be myself and to make a mistake in fear that I would not
be liked. Furthermore, I found that I have many triggers in this field. I felt like this
specific placement was bringing up issues from my past that I hadnt entirely gotten help
with, talked about, or accepted. My negative self-talk was also sabotaging and thereby,
making the situation worse. It was very overwhelming and I wasnt able to cope;
therefore, I dropped out of placement.

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Attunement
In Chapter 4, Skin Hunger, Laura, at age four, had infantile anorexia due to the
neglect from her mother, Virginia (Perry & Szalavitz, 2007, p. 81 & 82). Because of
Virginias poor upbringing as a child, Virginia lacked the knowledge and understanding
of what a child needed in order to have a healthy development (Perry & Szalavitz, 2007,
p. 87). Fortunately, Bruce Perry introduced Mama P, a foster mother who seemed to
know intuitively what the maltreated and often traumatized children she took in needed,
to Virginia and they began to work in partnership to help meet the needs of Laura (Perry
& Szalavitz, 2007, p. 92).
Like Mama P, there was a time when I displayed attunement. This was during my
second placement with Mon Ami Children Services. As mentioned above, this placement
was overwhelming for me due to all of the emotions I was experiencing at the time.
During my work there, I was very aware of how I was feeling and why I was feeling that
way, as well as my triggers in the field of Child and Youth Work. Because of this situation
that occurred, I believe attunement is one of my strengths.
This situation highly impacted my life and beliefs about self. Although this was
one of my most hurtful failures that I experienced in my life, it taught me a lot; for
example, I have done a lot of thinking about what Ive learned from this, how Ive
grown, where to go from here, who I am, who Im not, my interests, my strengths and
weaknesses, my fears and roadblocks, and what I want and need in life (Morden, 2013).
It made me realize that I need help and I cant do this on my own (Morden, 2013). At
the time, however, I hated who I was and how I was doing. I felt depressed and hopeless.
I knew at the time what I exactly needed and that was help. I started doing the

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following: writing in a journal weekly, talking to others, seeing and talking to my faculty
supervisor on a weekly basis, talking to my placement supervisor, getting in touch with a
couple counselors, getting help with a course from a tutor, etc. Despite all of this,
placement continued to overwhelm me. I believe I made the right decision to end it, not
because I was giving up, but because it was what I needed at the time. I wasnt ready. I
needed some time to take off to focus on myself and practice self-care. I needed to help
myself first, with the help from others, so that I am capable of helping children/youth to
the best of my ability when I take a crack at it again next year (Morden, 2013).
I believe having attunement is important as a Child and Youth Worker. It is not
only important to be attuned to yourself, but also to the people around you. That way, as a
Child and Youth Worker, you are able to respond to the needs of your clients, as well as
your own. I believe this situation impacts my work as Child and Youth worker negatively
and positively. I believe the negative impacts are that it crushed my self-esteem and now I
fear how I will do and/or feel in future placements. Positively, however, I feel that this
was a learning experience that allowed me to take a lot from it and use it to my advantage
in future placements. Being self-aware, which I consider myself to be, helps you work
with others to the best of your abilities and in turn, helps you help others. Furthermore,
when observing others, it helps you accurately read each others cues and respond
appropriatelyto the emotion underlying childrens behaviour, rather than simply
reacting to the most notable or distressing system (Blaustein & Kinniburgh, 2010).
Modulation
In Chapter 1, Tinas World, Bruce Perry worked with Tina, a 7-year-old girl, who
had been sexually abused as a child (Perry & Szalavitz, 2007, p. 8). As a result, Tina was

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demonstrating inappropriate behaviour, such as aggression and sexualized behaviour
(Perry & Szalavitz, 2007, p. 7). In an attempt to regulate Tinas emotions and anxiety,
Bruce Perry used colouring as a modulation activity (Perry & Szalavitz, 2007, p. 9).
There are many modulation activities that one can use to regulate their emotions;
for instance, there are grounding activities, relaxation/calming activities, distracting
activities, mindfulness activities, etc. (Champagne, 2008). A modulation activity that
works for me is listening to calming music, while practicing deep breathing. Because of
this, I believe that I am able to calm myself down when I am feeling anxious.
I have a playlist of calming music on my cellphone that I can listen to if I am ever
feeling overwhelmed, whether that be during the day, at school/work, or just before I go
to sleep. When I listen to calming music, there is nothing but sound; there are no words. I
often get lost in the music while concentrating on my breathing, as I remain conscious of
each breath I take. After I finish completing this modulation activity, I feel more relaxed
and engaged in the present moment. Also, when in the process of completing homework,
I listen to a specific calming song that is more up beat; this helps motivate me and often
keeps me focused on what I am doing. As you can see, this modulation activity impacts
my life by helping me stay calm and focused in stressful situations. It also helps me feel
more positive and motivated.
I think it is of significant importance for you to go into this field with a
knowledge and understanding of modulation activities, as the career can get/be very
stressful. Knowing this modulation activity could positively impact my work as a Child
and Youth Worker, as it will help me stay calm in anxiety provoking situations. In

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addition, knowing this modulation activity can also be beneficial for myself and others,
as I can use it with my clients if they are ever feeling anxious, upset, overwhelmed, etc.
Safety
In Chapter 2, For Your Own Good, Sandy, a girl at the age of three, witnessed
the raping and killing of her own mother (Perry & Szalavitz, 2007, p. 31). Sandy had
also been a victim in the altercation, as her throat was cut open twice by the murderer
(Perry & Szalavitz, 2007, p. 33). Due to the trauma Sandy experienced, she had Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder; this made her pervasively anxious and continually on guard,
as she did not feel safe (Perry & Szalavitz, 2007, p. 42).
In the beginning of November 2012, I had gone out to a bar with my brother and
some of my friends. It was a good night; however, just as we were waiting outside for a
cab to go home, a group of males started an argument with my brother and quickly, a
fight broke out. It was very terrifying for me. Similar to how Sandy felt, I felt very unsafe
during and after witnessing the violence against somebody I cared about. Because I
already had a history of anxiety, this event significantly worsened it and continues to
affect me to this very day. As a result, my beliefs are that this world is unsafe and that I
am unable to react calmly/handle dangerous situations.
This event made my anxiety significantly worse; for example, I was continually
on guard for months after it happened, as I was always expecting something horrible to
happen. I had many panic attacks after it as well. With any little noise I heard while in a
house, I thought that somebody was either robbing the house or going to assault and/or
kill me. If I heard anyone nearby raise their voice, drop something, or say ouch, I
imagined that something terrifying happened, for instance, that they were severely hurt

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and/or bleeding. I also couldnt (and still cant) go to a bar/downtown anymore without
having major anxiety, especially while leaving, as that is when the fight occurred. I began
thinking more about death, to the point I would wake up and wonder if it would be my
last day on earth, or think that when I said bye to a family member or friend, it would be
the last time I would see them because something was going to happen to them. A part of
me wanted to become a hermit to exclude myself from the world, as that is what made me
feel safe. Similar to how Sandy kept reenacting the violence she witnessed and
experienced through play, I subconsciously reenacted the violence I saw through my
dreams; for example, I continued to have nightmares about my brother being in lifethreatening situations/violence in which I was unable to move and/or do anything to help
him. I often woke up scared from them. In addition, my social life has decreased since
this occurrence, as I turn down offers to go out with friends because I am afraid of what
could happen. I feel even less safe in this world than I did before.
This event may have an impact on my work as a Child and Youth Worker because I am
an anxious person and do not feel safe in stressful situations; for instance, if a client of
mine was acting out and/or becoming physically/verbally aggressive, I would begin to
feel anxious and unsafe. This is an example of a time when I experienced this:
When I was in my second placement, a new resident came in. Her needs were much
higher, as she required a lot more support and 1:1 staff at all times; as a result, we
have extra staff on shifts. She cannot be unsupervised, as she constantly AWOLS
and displays unsafe behaviours that happen multiple times throughout each day,
the other girls in the residence are emotionally affected by it. Just as all of the girls
were settling for bed, the new girl began to misbehave and become quite defiant.

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She did not want to go to bed or follow the routines of the residence, began
walking/running from one area/room to another, and became verbally and
physically aggressive for an unknown reason. She was displaying unsafe
behaviours, such as knocking chairs down, kicking and punching the windows and
walls, throwing shoes and books at staff and peers, etc. Two staff went to contain
her, however, she was being so aggressive that they struggled to get her to stop.
Meanwhile, all of the girls in the residence were feeling overwhelmed and unsafe,
and as a result, went out of control one girl was at the door about to AWOL,
another girl was screaming and crying, another girl was hyperventilating, another
girl was becoming very angry/frustrated, and another girl was watching television.
All of the girls were taking out their feelings on each other. Two of the staff was
containing the new girl, another staff was trying to calm the girl who was
screaming and crying, and also stop the girl that was about to AWOL. I was trying
to calm the other girls down, but nothing seemed to work. The staff in the
containment struggled and threw their cellphone at two girls and me, yelling,
CALL ON-CALL. We (the other girls of the residence and myself) were then
escorted into the staff office to ensure our safety. I felt so anxious, overwhelmed
and unsafe myself that I completely panicked. Every girl had lost control and I
didnt know who to help or what to do. My heart was beating so fast and I was
shaking while trying to find and dial On-Call on the cellphone. I felt that because
of how anxious I was, I wasnt able to help calm down the girls. Because of this, I
felt that I wasnt much help at all. I also felt (still feel) that I couldnt be in
situations like this in the future, as I have anxiety and I am a flighter, for

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example, I am not calm when stressful or unsafe situations arise; instead, I panic
and feel very anxious. (Morden, 2013)
This goes to show that being anxious hinders my ability to be able to calm clients down
and help gain a sense of control over the situation. This can impact my work as a Child
and Youth Worker because if a stressful situation occurs, I will not be able to handle it
and/or fix the problem.
Conclusion
After reading the novel The Boy Who Was Raised A Dog and completing this
paper, I have a better knowledge and understanding of traumatized children/youth and
how their lives are impacted socially, emotionally, psychologically, and/or
physiologically. Furthermore, this paper has allowed me to go in depth about some of the
core reasons as to where and why I developed my beliefs about self, and how they
currently impact my life. By self-reflecting, this helps me prepare for what to expect in
future placements; for instance, how my work as a Child and Youth Worker could be
positively and/or negatively impacted.

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References
Blaustein, M. E., & Kinniburgh, K. M. (2010). Treating traumatic stress in children and
adolescents: How to foster resilience through attachment, self-regulation, and
competency. New York: The Guilford Press.
Champagne, T. (2008). Sensory Modulation & Environment: Essential Elements of
Occupation (3rd Ed.). Southampton, MA: Champagne Conferences &
Consultation.
Kelly,H.(2013).Neurodevelopment,Loss,andRecovery:NLRlearningaidweek37.
LectureconductedfromFlemingCollege,Peterborough,ON.
Morden, K. (2013). Field practicum ii: Week 5 blog. Unpublished manuscript, Sir
Sandford Fleming College, Peterborough, ON, Canada.
Morden, K. (2013). Letter to professors. Unpublished manuscript, Sir Sandford Fleming
College, Peterborough, ON, Canada.
Najavits, L. M. (2002). Setting boundaries in relationships. The Guilford Press.
Perry, B.D., & Szalavitz, M. (2007). The boy who was raised as a dog and other stories
from a child psychiatrists notebook. United States of America: Basic Books.