Maggie Gleason

November 7, 2015
Part 1: Analysis of Writing
Student L (letters are first letter of student name for my reference)
Strengths
Areas of Improvement
Evidence type of detail
Reasons need rewording/are unclear
Evidence type of description
3rd reason is not connected to thesis
Student P
Strengths
Included a quote as evidence
Included a description as evidence
Included a memory as evidence

Areas of Improvement
Reasons need rewording
Reasons are not specific enough
The conflict is not clear

Student K
Strengths
Areas of Improvement
Includes 3 different evidence types (fact, quote, Evidence not directly related to reasons
description)
Paragraphs are not cohesive
Student Ku
Strengths
Includes a personal memory to strengthen
reason
Includes description/detail for each paragraph
Student E
Strengths
Strong reasons
Clear thesis statement

Areas of Improvement
Reasons need rewording
Reasons are all very similar
Areas of Improvement
Evidence does not clearly connect to reasons
Quotes included as evidence are not strong

After reading all of my students drafts for their opinion essay, I noticed that many of the
students did not have a strong understanding of the thesis, reason, and evidence structure of the
essay. Leading up to these initial drafts, students chose a seed topic based on previous writing
brainstorms and something they had a strong opinion about. My cooperating teacher used file
folders as graphic organizers and students wrote their thesis and three main reasons on the front

cover. Then, they rewrote reason one on one of the inside panels, reason two on the other panel,
and reason three on the back.
After that they used their iPads and their own knowledge/background to come up with
evidence. The evidence was not being placed under specific reasons yet, they were just told to
find evidence that supports their thesis. They wrote each evidence on a post it note and put it on
the front cover. My CT did a mini-lesson on evidence types including detail, description, quote,
fact, memory, and story. Students were told to include a variety of evidence types to make their
evidence strong.
Once students gathered a number of evidence types, they were told to decide which
reason each evidence supported and place the sticky-note on the corresponding panel. Finally,
they were told to choose the one evidence that they thought was the strongest for each reason and
begin writing a rough draft.

Part 2: Writing Mini-Lesson Reasons/Evidence

Rationale
From reading my students drafts, I know that at least five of the students needed
additional instruction to strengthen their reasons and evidence in their opinion essays. Some
students I noticed had evidence that did not directly relate to their reason, or at least needed
further explanation for the reader understand the relation. Other students had reasons that were
not very strong or did not directly support their thesis statement. Many of these could be fixed
with some rewording of reasons or adding further explanation to their evidence. I am teaching
this lesson for students to further examine how their essay is structured and show them ways to
make their reasons or evidence more clear.

While it wouldve been easier to separate the group into those that needed to focus on
reasons, and those that needed to focus on evidence, it was not feasible for the time constraints
and the number of students. Instead, I chose a lesson format that would support both of these
needs. After all, the structure of reasons and evidence should all be connected in an opinion
essay.
Connect
Remember last week when we worked on drafting our opinion essays including a thesis
statement, reasons, and supporting evidence? I read over your drafts and something I noticed is
that you all have strong topics and thesis statements that state our opinion. However, sometimes
we need to adopt the lens of a reader, and think, are my reasons clearly stated? Do they relate to
my thesis? Is my evidence clearly linked to my reason? Do I need to explain more for the reader
to know why I am including this evidence? Today we are going to take another look at our drafts,
as well as our model of 5th grade opinion piece, I am Not My Sister! to help us answer some of
these questions and improve our drafts even more.
Teach
Lets take out our model text and re-examine it. I know you have already labeled each
paragraph.

Can someone point out to me what they think is this writers thesis statement/opinion
statement? Yes her main opinion she is going to argue is revealed in this sentence,
Excuse me, but my sister and I are nothing alike on the inside, and anyone with an
ounce of sense can figure it out. It is clear to the reader that she believes she is very

different from her sister.

Now lets look at her first paragraph, reason number 1. Can someone point out to the
group what her first reason is? (For one thing, my sister is the kind of person who makes

music.) This reason is very clear to the readers because she stated it in one concise
sentence. It is a strong reason because it is directly related to her thesis. Lets

highlight/underline that sentence and label it reason.

Now lets find her evidence, what type of evidence does she use in this paragraph (remind
them of types)? Yes, she uses a description, and also a memory. Lets label next to it,
evidence: memory. As readers, can we tell how this evidence is related to her reason?

Does it make sense why she included it to support her reason?

This writer does something else that is very important in order to connect this paragraph
to her thesis. Does anyone see what that is? (She makes a connection that unlike her
sister, she is not a musician and does not consider herself to have any musical talent)
Active Engagement
Now I want you to choose one of your paragraphs and read it over to yourself. Highlight

or underline your reason. Then ask yourself, is my reason clearly stated in one sentence? Does it
directly support my thesis? If not, take a few minutes to think of how you can make changes to
reword it and make it stronger. Write your new reason statement on the worksheet.
Next, take a look at your evidence. First you can label it, what type of evidence did you
use? Then I want you ask yourself is this evidence clearly linked to my reason? Do I need to
explain more for the reader to know why I am including this evidence? If your evidence is not
linked, you may need to find new evidence to include. Look back at your sticky-notes or think to
yourself about how you can support your reason. If you need to explain more for the reader to
understand the connection, add a sentence of connection. Think about why you chose to include
that evidence under that reason.

Link
As writers, we want our readers to be convinced to agree with or understand our opinion
after reading what we have written. In order to do that, our reasons must be strong, clear, and
connected to our thesis. Our evidence must support each of our reasons and show the reader why
our reason is important. During the next (~20) minutes of independent work time and in your
revising process, I want you to think about the questions we talked about today for each of your
reason paragraphs in order to make your opinion essays even stronger.

Part 3: Writing Conference