Comments from Professor

You have some good points here, but your overall thesis is not clear. What exactly are you saying
about people with disabilities and education? You need to work on avoiding generalities. If you
make sweeping statements with no evidence, then your claims are not very credible. For
example, how do you know that people with disabilities are relying on education, or that they
work harder than able-bodied people? Do you have sources that specifically state this? You need
to provide more evidence for your claims in general. Many of the quotes that you have here do
not points you are trying to make; be more careful about selecting appropriate and useful quotes.
Avoid repetition of ideas. You need to spend more times editing your work; many of sentences
are not clear.