James

Nance
Ashley Marcum
UWRT 1103
8 February 2016
Voice and Vitality Exercise

Original Paragraph:

I used to write stories of my own when I was in lower grade school. I remember

writing about castles, dragons, knights, superheroes, romance, comedy, wizards, and fantasy.
Even though they were not even half as good as stories written by professionals, I was so
confident in my writing. I took my writing to my mom whenever I finished a story, always being
greeted with smiles and compliments. I would try to adapt my style to books that I read, it did
not matter if they were childrens stories or regular literature.

Comment [JN1]: Revised Voice and Vitality:

I used to write stories of my own when I was in lower
grade school. I remember delving deep into my imagination
and type all about castles, dragons, knights, superheroes,
romance, comedy, wizards, and even fantasy. I tried to
adapt my writing style to the books I read, whether they
were childrens stories or educated literature. Even though
the stories did not compare in structure with stories written
by professionals, I was confident that my writing was the
best of the best. I unveiled each new work to my mom,
always being greeted with smiles and compliments.