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Leslie Ramirez
The Hitchhikers Guide
Toothbrush
Practically useless if it is the only darn thing you have in your
possession. A grain of sand would be more useful to you than a toothbrush.
No alien/creature, human, or thing is stupid enough to only carry a
toothbrush. If you are pick-pocketed in the galaxy and the only thing a
picketer finds on you is a toothbrush (picketer: daily pickpocketers. Rude,
sneaky. Will kill if not satisfied.), pray to Jesus to forgive all your sins because
you are dead meat. The picketer will assume that you are on a new level of
idiotic and will kill you because they believe idiots should not be allowed in
their marvelous galaxy. For your sake, DO NOT carry just a toothbrush.
The best thing to accompany a toothbrush with is a towel. Everyone in
the galaxy loves them some towels! Towels are a huge prized possession
because a towel has many uses, unlike a toothbrush. Long story, short; men
carrying just a toothbrush: dead meat, men carrying toothbrush and towel:
praised, worshiped. Make friends with, so the intelligence rubs off on you.
Make friends with, so you can get all the ladies, men, or hot aliens/creatures.
Traffic in space
Worst in the universe! Although you only have 30 seconds to live in the
middle of space, youd be better off walking! Remember that time you went
to Los Angeles and you were completely stopped on the non-moving freeway
for three hours, for a distance that wouldve probably taken you 30 minutes

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to walk? Space traffic is a trillion times worse. Comparing LA traffic to space
traffic is like comparing a shack to a two-billion-dollar mansion, or two stegs
(stegs: 1 steg= 1 billion dollars). It will take you at least three decades to get
from planet Luf to planet Poft (a two-mile distance).
Ways to avoid Traffic= Die, dont go anywhere, stay in your ship, stay on
the surface of your planet, stay off the star swirl (road).
Aliens/creatures/things stuck in traffic= Sleep for decades, hibernate,
starve.
Flowers
Stay away! The most beautiful, magnificent, amazing, deadly things in
the galaxy. Galactic flowers are the ones someone sends to a person they
absolutely hate. The scent of galactic flowers contains moxy (an extremely
toxic chemical). The moxy will go through your nostrils, down your throat,
and into your stomach, which will no longer be a stomach because it will
dissolve in less than .5 seconds. The moxy will then contaminate all of your
organs and your body will shut down, causing you to die in less than 60
seconds, the galaxys fastest dying record. Dont stop and smell the roses!
The thorns of a galactic flower seem harmless, but will kill you in 90
seconds. The thorn will make a little, unnoticeable nick on your skin, which
will expand into a giant hole in 10 seconds. Your bodys entire blood will drain
out through the hole. You can try to apply pressure onto the hole to stop the
bleeding, but pressure will only expand the hole more which will speed your
death up to 63 seconds.

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Pillow
Most comfortable piece of cotton in the entire galaxy. Extremely useful!
You can sit on it on a first date with a girl, who will block your number as
soon as she gets on her ship. You can lay on it while crying about the girl who
blocked you. You can cover your ears with it when Salgs (Salgs= creatures
who state/ask the obvious) ask if you have a girlfriend.
A person with a pillow usually has a preppy attitude. Preppy attitudes
are normally never found attractive in the galaxy; hence the girl blocking the
guys number. The preppy attitudes are caused when you lay your head on
the pillow. The softness of the pillow will stimulate your brains happy
thoughts, causing you to be preppy there after.

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I chose to write about a toothbrush because the book did mention a
toothbrush in chapter three but didnt define the importance, or nonimportance, of it, so I made up my own. I wrote about the toothbrush in a
negative way because there is really nothing you can do with a toothbrush
besides brush your teeth, which will be the last of an interstellar travelers
worries if they end up in space. I made up some words to convey how
different the galaxy will be for an interstellar traveler. I also made up fictional
characters to show the different types of people/aliens you will find in
different planets. This entry will help an interstellar traveler not get killed.
The book didnt mention anything about traffic and traffic is a big part
of everyones daily life, so I decided to write about traffic in space. I made it
seem as though the galaxy was like a city but with much heavier traffic. I
compared LAs traffic with the traffic of space so that the interstellar travel
realizes how bad traffic is. This will advise them to stay off the road.
I wrote about flowers because flowers are really valued here on earth
and I wanted to show how different the galaxy is from earth, so I made up
deadly flowers. The interstellar should have an idea of what to expect when
traveling. As a rhetorical move, I explained in full detail how the flowers will
kill you as a warning sign to stay away.
Since my previous entries were negative, I wanted to write about
something for the traveler to look forward to in space so I talked about a
pillow. The book mentioned how useful towels were but never mentioned
how useful a pillow could be. I wrote about the pillows many uses, while

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trying to keep a silly tone like Adams did. But, things on earth cant be the
same as things in the galaxy. To imply this, I wrote that the pillows in the
galaxy cause a preppy attitude, which could be both good and bad for the
interstellar traveler.
Douglas Adams uses the everyday a lot throughout his book so I decide
to keep the same theme. I wrote about everyday objects that had different
values in the galaxy rather than earth. Adams also used a sarcastic silly tone
as a rhetorical move in most of his book. I tried to keep the same tone by
over exaggerating things a bit. In The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, there
are a lot of excerpts coming straight from the hitchhikers guide. Many of the
excerpts describe how an object works and how to make or use it. I tried
doing the same in my hitchhikers guide.