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Joe deLannoy
Mrs Turner
English 1010
14 April 2016

My life has had two eras: BDI (before dads injury) and ADI (after dads injury).
These two parts of my life make me who I am. I formed my personality, work ethic,
views of the world, and morals. I learned how to be dependent and independent. I learned
how to accept that my dad will never be the same. My dad had an injury that almost cost
him his life and in a way it did. It took away the family we were.
BDI life was carefree and easy. My days were playing football in the summer,
skiing in the winter, and playing video games with my cousins and friends. I was most
oblivious to the harshness that waited outside our door. I learned that hard work is always
worth it and I learned that helping others is a great way to make you and others happy.
Learning these things in BDI I would not have been able to make it through ADI. I
learned how to be happy. My dad always taught me (mainly through example) that caring
about people and helping people is the easiest and most gratifying way to make you and
others happy. Every time we had a snowstorm as soon as my dad woke up he went
outside and got his snow-blower and cleared our whole neighborhoods walks. He would
talk to every person he knew when he was shoveling and he loved every minute of it. He

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taught me that it is important to talk to people and create good relationships. I learned
that video games, sports, being alone, spending time with friends and family are ways I
am able to pick myself up when I am down. I didnt do my homework because it was
hard, I sometimes didnt go to practice because I hated running,
But then ADI was started by a driver who was texting and ran through a stop
sign and blindsided my dad. That accident leads to chronic neck pain and constant
migraines. He began to lose sensation all throughout his body and he had pain as his
constant companion. My family and I thought this period of time would not last very
long. We had the impression that my dad would recover quickly and our lives would
return to normal. But we were ignorant. I was living my self-indulgent life and tried to
keep things how they were. As I got into high school that was ADI was at its worst. As
my dads condition deteriorated the stress of our family increased.
My life began to change with dads personality turning from fun loving to
distant, uncaring, and just different. His metaphorical death was slow and gradual. His
murder was caused by three different but equally responsible culprits: Pain, Addiction,
and betrayal. Pain was my dads constant companion. It pain caused him to be easily
irritable and made him less able to do the things he loved to do in BDI. My mom and I
were the usual outlets for his pain. He would either come to us for comfort or yell at us
for our shortcomings. My obvious shortcoming was my grades. I had no interest in school
my first two years of high school and did not do my homework. This made my dad really

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angry and was the reason for many of our arguments. I would be my dads outlet to
complain about his pain and his work day.
Along came the pain medication. My dad, who has an addictive personality, was
exposed to a spew of pills. He used pills to numb the excruciating pain he experienced
every day. I was very ignorant to this problem until recently. This part of his life was the
hardest for me. When sedated, my dad was uninvolved, bipolar, and unable to do
anything except for sleep. These personality changes made me begin to resent my dad. I
started to avoid him at all cost because he had streaks of always being sedated and then
going through withdrawals. It was very hard to see my dad in pain and we cant do
anything to fix it.
Betrayal is the third and final killer. Over the past 2 years my dad has fabricated a
string of lies that my family all believed. He abused the pills he was given to help with
pain and he would never admit to it. When sedated my dad was distant, disinterested, and
very bipolar. I think always knew he was taking too many pills. I was voluntarily caught
in my dads web because I wanted to believe it wasnt true. When I finally realized I
couldnt trust my dad I grew up a lot. I learned that love is not as important as trust. I also
learned that not everyone deserves my trust. Now I realize that giving my trust should be
a process that takes time and is solidified in times of peril.
I have learned things in ADI that I wouldnt have learned until later. Like
self-sufficiency in all aspects of like for example being able to do laundry, clean my

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room, cook for myself, etc. I was able to understand the importance of good grades and
how it allows you to be able to make a future for yourself and be able to understand the
world around you better. I learned how rewarding it is to do things for you and not for
anyone else. I think the most important thing I learned during ADI was how important
trust is. I have to be more selective with my trust because trusting someone means that
you think they are capable of honoring their word. Trust is a way for me to know that I
mean something to the other person. Trust is a two way street, that common clich has
gained real meaning to me. It means that I need to put just as much time, effort, and
support as they need to so the relationship can be meaningful. I hope my dad and I can
get back to the place where we were during BDI. I want that unconditional trust and not
have to look at everything with doubting eyes. He has started to give a sincere effort of
regaining my trust but that is a long process that only time and change can heal. Living
through ADI I have learned to look at BDI fondly and remember the countless ski days,
football practices, vacations, and family dinners we had together but I have learned to see
how much I have grown, how my character has improved, and to see the realities of life
and take them for what they are but still be able to understand the importance of having
optimism for the future.