Name:

Iwona Goscinski

Date:
Septiembre 16 de 1810

To:
Mam

Intheboxbelowbegintotypeyourletter.

Querida mam

,
I wanted to ask how you are faring? Is all well with mi hermanas? I know that I had you worried sick especially after
my disappearing act three nights ago. I wanted to say that Im truly sorry for not telling you. I know mi padres death by the
hands of the
Inquisicin espaola scarred you. I know you worry that your hijas will befall the same fate. Again, perdn for
what I did and what I will do.
Mam
, yo necesito esto. I cant watch the injustice that is happening to our people.
Mam
,
the Spanish Crown broke me. You know as well as I that I saw what punishments mi papa went through..I cant unsee
that. I cant forget his screams or his cries to die a quick death.I was 9. I was supposed to be a witness to his confession
of being a heretic.
Mam
, we both know he wasnt, but they seemed to inflict pain on him anyway. No amount of pleading
would let them release papa from his torment. The strappado was their favorite toy. Papa, having his arms dislocated would
hang limply above my head falling in and out of consciousness. As if that wasnt enough, they poured gallons of water
through a funnel into his mouth. Those gurgling noises that escaped him I still remember today (
The Christian Enterprise
).
When one of them finally let me talk to papa..he didnt recognize me. I cried and told him my name and how I love him.
No matter how insistent I was or how gentle I was in kissing his sweaty forehead, he was to broken to respond. You know, I
felt so helpless then. I even tried to escape with mi papa in tow. I got the bounds loosened, but the executioner beat me for
that. That moment, with my bloody nose, I awaited another kick to my stomach. Papa croaked his confession in order for
the executioner to stop hurting me. He died looking into my eyes. After another kick to my stomach, they dragged me out.
Mam, I never said what I saw when I came home that night. Partially because I felt your grief was already overburdening
you and I really wanted to forget. Seems my nightmares travel and haunt me to this day.
I want to explain myself, so hopefully youll understand and have that closure. Mi hermanas and you were spared
from this knowledge and I was not. You grieved, but I never could move on. My life became meaningless. I saw no light. The
Spanish Church and State spread Catholicism, conquered each native soul, controlled Mexicano society, and ensured the
Spanish were higher class citizens (Catholicism and the Crown). We were nothing and I felt that deeply. I got angry when my
village became a rotting cell for mi gente. Dolores was a great village and now Mexicanos were grappling for a document
stating their Spanish heritage. How demeaning mam was this? I was ashamed that anyone would want to be like those
treacherous, manipulative monsters. I understood it would benefit their lives, but it went against our identity. Then Hidalgo
came into our village. I thought he was another priest coming to manipulate me, but I was wrong. He personally taught me
trades such as pottery, tanning, brick making, silk making, and berry picking. He taught others as well (Miguel Hidalgos Cry
to Arms). I smiled when he praised mi hermana menor about her colorful flowers she handpicked. He taught me how to read
and write. This was an open violation to the Spanish monopoly, but Hidalgo promoted democracy. I was able to read Thomas
Jeffersons texts and how 13 colonies rebelled against England (Miguel Hidalgos Cry to Arms). I became skilled, efficient,
and wise, but I still lacked my freedom. My oppressed feelings didnt cease to exist. I know mam that you were for the first
time happy. Mi hermana mayor was getting married to a handsome fellow. Mi hermana menor was making friends. You three
were happy. I was glad Hidalgo brought that joy to you, but I couldnt bask in that joy with you all. Hidalgo approached me
when I turned 16 years old. Hidalgo told me how he saw my misery. I told him that a peaceful revolution would prolong mi
gentes suffering. I wanted a rebellion, just like the colonies did. I wanted to hurt those who hurt me. Hidalgo warned me that
my dark thoughts shouldnt blind me. He then offered to let me join his cause. He would round up other peasants and we

would fight back. Mam, I know this saddens you, but I felt overjoyed at stabbing the oppressors. I wanted to see their pain.
I wanted a bloody war. You probably heard about Hidalgos cry by now. I sent this letter to let you know that Im going to
start something that will make a Mexicanos life peaceful.
I truly believe that this revolution will benefit our people. If our front wont succeed in driving the Spanish from our
land, then others will follow. I believe what those Americans have is what we can have someday. I want mi hermanas to be
equals and to have a proper education. I want whats best for you all. I want to secure that for you and every Mexicano.
Driving out the Spanish out will be our freedom. They control our lives. Without them on our land, we can finally think for
ourselves. Learning a skill wont be deemed a violation (Catholicism and the Crown).
I dont know if God is real. The Spanish say they are. I truly lost faith when everything was taken from me, but I want to
pray to whomever is watching.
When bullets fly and bombs do blow,
Upon our knees, dear Lord we go.
We pray for safety, pray for strength,
For inner peace for all the length,
Of time away from ones at home,
Who love us still where eer we roam.
Dear God, my arms are not that long,
To reach out to them, to keep them strong,
But Your arms are long and stronger still,
Keep them safe, within Thy will,
Bring them comfort, bring them peace,
Until from duty, Im released (
Lewis
).
Im sorry for making you relive this, Im sorry for adding worry, and Im sorry that you will lose me. Please find it in
your heart to forgive my actions and even my dark thoughts. I can see my death...a peasant fight is no match for armed
soldiers, but I have to do this. I have to avenge papa and I cant stand the idea of mi familia living in fear everyday. I am a
broken soul and always had been. I will do whats honorable. I will die so you can live.te amo mucho.
La despidida,
Iwona Goscinski
Epilogue:
Querida Ms. Goscinski,
Hi, my name is Mateo. I knew your daughter Iwona very well. She fought alongside me...I am so saddened to inform
you that she died. Hidalgo didnt want to storm Mexico City, but Iwona did along with other peasants (Mexico History
Directory). Needless to say, it was a bloodbath. Spaniards were killed, some innocents were as well. Ms. Goscinski, Iwona
told me about how she cares about her familia. I tried to keep her from doing anything rash, but she wouldnt listen. She
wanted revenge on those who hurt her. I followed after her. She looked for an executioner, but couldnt find him. I
unfortunately couldnt come in time to shield her from a dagger stabbing her back. I ran to her, but she smiled at me. Told me
to say that she finally sees the light. Again, Im sorry for your loss.
Mateo


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McKeehan,WallaceL."Archives:MiguelHidalgo."
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TEXAS,1997.Web.22Apr.2016.
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MexicanIndependenceGritoDeDolores
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TheChristianEnterprise."TheHorrorsofTheChurchandItsHolyInquisition."
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