other people from Howard who werent dancing during

DomerFest, through clubs by attending meetings and doing

weekly service, or by friends I had made introducing me to their
friends, and they turned out to be pretty cool.
I studied abroad in Santiago last semester, and I learned
a saying that goes Dime con quien andas, y te dire quien eres
basically, tell me who your friends are and Ill tell you who you
are. Maybe youve already started finding your Notre Dame
family, maybe you think its just a myth, but I cant stress
enough how important it is to reach out to people. Maybe it
wont come right away, Steven was in my familia during my LFR
and we have been close ever since. But some of my other close
friends are people that I met here but didnt talk to for another
two, or three semesters. These may be the people that your high
school friends get jealous of, that make fun of you when you
forget a homework assignment, but wont leave you alone until
you finish your essay; these are the people who will grow up
with you. And when you come away from Notre Dame, Saint
Marys, or Holy Cross, the degree will probably be useful, but it
will be the experiences that you take away from here that really
show you who you are.
So, I guess to end, all I have to say is, talk to each other, be there
for each other, and never be afraid to reach out to someone.
You are not alone, we are all here rooting for you.

Page 4

Life Gets Weird

By Ftima Montez
When Eugene Gonzalez first stepped on to Notre Dames
campus, he felt at home. He loved his room in Steds, and his
roommate was a pretty nice guy. He liked it a lot here, even
though it was completely different from his home town. There
werent too many Latinos, and he wasnt used to that; but during
his time here, he met most of the community on campus by
being involved in different clubs. He didnt have as much money
as the other students here, but he got a job, so it was all good.
Even with that, he couldnt afford to go home for the small
breaks, so he usually just hung out with friends, or visited their
families, and when summer came around him and his crew
would pack all their stuff into someones car and drive back
home. The years flew by, and by the time of Eugenes
graduation, his family had saved up enough money to drive up
and see him cross the stage. Everyone loved the campus. His
father said, If he could imagine heaven, it would be Notre
Dame. They prayed at the grotto, packed up his room, and
drove back home all together. What he gained here was so much
more than his degree. He walked away with his Notre Dame
family, the best friends that he had ever had and one of the
strongest alumni networks in the nation. He lived happily ever
after.
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Eugene Gonzalez is my uncle, and he

graduated in 1982. He was the one who
encouraged me to apply for this school,
even though it was nowhere on my radar.
But, once I got accepted, I knew this was
the place I was supposed to be. Maybe it
was something about the Notre Dame
legend that drew me here, or maybe it was
the financial aid. Who knows? But I came
here expecting a similar experience to my
Uncle: great friends, bad winters, and the
best years of my life. But you see, it turns
out that my uncles Notre Dame story left
out a lot of what happened during his time
here.
He came by himself for Frosh-O
with nothing more than his backpack and
two suitcases. He felt like he was the only
student here without his family and he felt
so alone. He was used to sharing a room, so
his roommate wasnt a big deal, but he
missed his six siblings that he left behind.
The lack of diversity hit him hard. Where
were the cumbias? Where was the
menudo? Where were the people who knew
what it was like to have two parents
struggling with English and low education?
He needed to work several jobs just to get
by, and his junior year he started
researching in a lab just to make sure that
grad schools wanted him. With jobs, a lab,
and all his classes - he was under a lot of
stress, and his grades started to slip. He
missed his family and his city when he
couldnt go back home, especially during
the never-ending snow storms. Also during
his junior year, due to the stress from a
family matter, his grades dropped so low he
was put on academic suspension. Having to
come back home for a year was the most
difficult obstacle in his academic career.
Did you see that the Gonzalez boy came
back? was some of the biggest chisme on
the block. But his family supported him, as
did his friends at Notre Dame, and he did

make it back, and he worked his ass off to

be able to graduate from ND.
I didnt hear these about all of these
difficulties until the middle of my
sophomore year when he came back to visit
campus for the first time in 30 years. I
wondered why he hadnt told me about all
the struggles that he faced while he was
here, and I think that he didnt want to
leave me with any negative impressions of
his beloved school. But I think that he
should have told me because then I would
have been a little more prepared for what I
found in South Bend, Indiana. And that is
why I am sharing his story with yall,
because even though it has been 30 years, a
lot of yall may face the same problems he
did back in his undergrad days. And if Im
going to give you any advice on how to face
these problems, it would be to find a
community, and to stick together with
them. No pressure, but a great way to start
would be by looking around right here in
this room. Every upperclassmen had to
apply to be here, we all spent hours putting
this retreat together so that we could
provide yall with a place to find friends,
family, and support. I promise yall that
whatever happens during your time here,
there is someone here who can help you get
through it. Lets play a game:
Upperclassmen- raise your hand if
you have failed a test. (A lot I assume).
Okay, now raise your hand if you broke
your foot before your first 8 am final
freshman year when you slipped on black
ice and had to drag your foot all around
campus because you didnt want to miss
your test (Just me?)
Okay, raise your hand if you have
ever been homesick. (A few?) Okay, raise
your hand if you went back home after
sophomore year and found out that you
had a secret six month old half-brother that

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your family didnt tell you about because

they didnt want to stress you out at school.
(If anyone else raises their hand I will go
and high five you).
As you can see, my time here has not
been easy. Ive had my highs, Ive had my
lows, and Ive had my rock bottoms. But
every time I feel like my life is in shambles,
every time I feel like the world is on my
shoulders, every time I sit in the LaFun
basement with a blanket covering my head
and making stress noises, there is always
someone I feel I can turn to, to pull me
right back up again. I have stories upon
stories about how my friends here have
been there for me, but Im an easy crier,
and an ugly crier, so to save yall from
having to see that I will just say that, life

gets weird, and its so much easier to get

through it when you have someone by your
side.
So now look at everyone around you,
look at your familia, and the people you
havent gotten to talk to yet. Im assuming
that yall came here for similar reasons:
maybe religion, maybe new friends, maybe
for someone who can say your name right.
But yall are all here, and I hope that from
this point on, yall will stick together. Know
that this community will be here for you,
no matter what, to serve not only as a home
for yall, but as a bridge to get to know
others as well. A lot of my friends, I met on
LFR, but others I met through my dorm
when I found the 3

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