Not Even Funny

February 5, 2008
Previously on MySpace, Jonathan resigned from his membership in the NETBL, and g
ot an astronaut application from a mute named Jer. He then had an imaginary conf
rontation with a vicious Grammar Nazi, and began filling out his application. We
join the current blog already in progress
So, I finished the application on Saturday, turned it in Sunday morning, and wai
ted. Monday I get a call (the caller id said OUTR SPACE); I pick it up, and ther
e are small scritchy sounds on the other end. This happens three times.
This morning OUTR SPACE calls again. There is a booming masculine voice on the o
ther end. Hey J-Dawg, it auspiciously began. You re in! My man! Get yourself down her
e!
Hello,

I said cautiously.

Who is this?

J-Dawg, man, seriously. Me, man! Lar, the big L, L-Dawg, Lar-o-rama! Jer called y
ou three times yesterday, bro. You have to come down, orientation is on freaking
Thursday, you got to be prepared! First rule of the scouts! Yeah!
So, apparently I m in. When I get down there Lar (who is surprisingly small and ba
ld) and Jer (in case I haven t mentioned, Jer is tall, with an athletic build) are
waiting.
Where U ben?
Um.

writes Jer, with a frowny face beside.

I start.

Johnny boy! Johnny-on-the-spot, Johnny in the Hiz-zouse! We got your papers man!
Listen, you did alright. Only missed 12 questions! That s GEEEEEEE-nius! Like a 67
or something. Shit! Oh, and that s not even the great news. You ain t gonna believe
this, but you are gonna have two of the best freaking teachers in the history o
f the academy, man. They got rhyming names! You ll never guess. C mon, guess.
Uh
Tell
Us

im, Jer.
he writes. Jer is considerably more economical with his words than Lar.

I won t bother transcribing the rest of the conversation, the gist basically being
that I passed, barely (apparently the Sea of Tranquility actually is in this ro
om, on the moon to be exact), that Lar and Jer are the best of my 5 teachers, th
e rest of whom I will meet on Thursday. Mine is a small class, only 12 students
in all. I am optimistic.
Then I come home to even better news. According to James Farmheath s blog, that no
torious rapscallion Mr. Chris Mendeleev has been forced to resign from the NETBL
! This pretty much puts Farmheath and his mandatory bumpers back in power, but a
ny setback for Mendeleev is a small step forward for me, and a great leap forwar
d for mankind!
Till next time.