Mezghan Zafary’s comment on Brittney Essay

First of all I would like to say that I really liked Brittney’s title for her essay, as I was reading
her essay her introduction was pretty powerful. The way she started her essay, it kind of made the
readers feel some connection to what she is saying, and she did this by; telling the readers that as
human beings our goal is to achieve the best no matter what gets crushed in the way . I think that her
hook captivates the readers to go on and actually be interested in what she is saying; Brittney uses a
great way to involve her readers, by forcing them to have some kind of a reaction when they read her
introduction. I am amazed at how perfectly she wrote her essay because I found everything flowing
and all three paragraphs related to her thesis which was basically stated that it is human nature to
strive to perfect their intelligence, success, and relationship but the problem is that humans are so
pressured that men and women are forced to be unfaithful to each other because they think that they
should only focus on being in love but not maintaining and continuing that love. As I was reading
through Brittney’s Essay she persuaded me that it is easy to fall in love but the hard part it to keep on
loving that person regardless of the pressure lead by the society that forces us to take such unethical
actions towards each other. I completely agree with Brittney’s argument on how women are losing
their innocence and happiness because they are putting their trust towards men that are devouring on
their honesty in that relationship. No matter what the problem the fingers are always pointing toward
the women, because women’s are always looked down upon by men. Brittney’s essay follows the
format of a formal essay and her massage is very powerful which makes the readers reflect on their
relationships and their roles in that relationship, this essay was a very meaningful essay to read
because it explains why humans act the way they do in a relationship. Excellent job Brittney!