Living Life and Paying for It

Erika Gardiner

ENG 3UI

July 23, 2010

 Gardiner | 2

Erika Gadiner

Mr. Kemp

ENG 3UI

July 23, 2010

Living Life and Paying for It

“For you a thousand times over” [Amir] heard [himself] say,” (Hosseini, 323) he

felt Hassan, the most pure person he ever knew, speaking through him.

Reformation is the act of improvingchanging what was broken, into something better. In

the novel The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini, two minor but crutialcrucial characters,

Sanaubar and Soraya, made similar mistakes in their past that they chose to fix through

reformation, as did Amir, the main character in this novel . The same way, Amir, after

contemplating what Rahim Khan said to him on the phone, realized there was “a way to

be good again” (2). TheTheEach negative choices made by these three

characterscharacterswomen impacted their lives greatly. They each set out to fix their

own mistakes, and through reformation were able to become better people. Sanaubar,

and Soraya and Amir’s examples show shows that through reformation everyone can

become a better person.be good again. One mistake can haunt a person forever; and

without reformation, this mistake will prevent them from being content with themselves

ever again.
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At some point in their liveslivfes Sanaubar and Soraya both run away from their

homes, both when they were around the same age and both for responsibility reasons.

Sanaubar, Hassan’s mother, leavesleavesft him “less than a week after he was born. [He]

lost her to a fate most Afghans considered far worse than death: shesShe ran off with a

clan of traveling singers and dancers,” (Hosseini, 6). Sanaubar runs away from the

responsibilities of having a child. She., Sshe was young and just wanted to have a fun

life and not be tied down by a child. thought in the circusthe greatest way of doing this

was leaving with the circus. The Afghan people naturally disagree with her choice, and

because of that, talk behind her back. This catches up with later in her life when she

realizes that she should have stayed to be a mother her new born childfor her child. We

learn as well that Sanaubar was disloyal to Ali; Hassan was Baba’s son, not Ali’s.

Sanaubar wanted, also, to escape the guilt she felt every time she looked at her baby. She

did not want to live with the guilt of adultery forever., though Hassan never found out

Baba was his real father, so that secret was always in her heart. Soraya makes a similar

mistake, but insteadinsteadshe runs away to obtain responsibility, as she is tired of her

father controlling her. Soraya wanted to be treated like an adult and felt as though living

like one would help her accomplish this.runs away from her mother and father at the age

of eighteen. Soraya explainsShe explains to her husband, Amir, years after she thought

she had been fully reformed, that “when, that “wWhen [my family]we lived in Virginia, I

ran away with an Afghan man. I was eighteen…rebellious…stupid,”, and…he was into

drugs…we lived together for almost a month,”” (164). Afterwards, she felt as though a

weight was lifted off her shoulders – the final stage in her reformation .(164). Soraya was

not married to this man and, like Sanaubar, was talked about between the Afghan people.
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that knew her because tLiving with a man before marriagemarriagehis is another action is

another Afghan people greatly disapprove of. Soraya realizesSorayahe realizesd that her

family needed her,,; even though Soraya she was forced to go back come home, but once

there, she comescoomess to knowa knowing that this was best for her, as well asasnd her

family. Both women have a burden from the mistake they made and are willing to fix it.

They are both persistingpersistingliving in the past, which which doesn’t allowprevents

them fromfromto move moving forward in their lives.livfes. The burden they carry is the

reason they decide to change.Soraya ran away to obtain responsibility as she is tired of

her father controlling her.

The consequences that Sanaubar and Soraya experience, as a result of their

leaving, are what push them to want to become better people.

reformed. There are different consequences each woman receives, but each changes their

lives dramatically. Sanaubar used to be the most beautiful and promiscuous girl in all of

Kabul. When her regret of leaving Hassan becomes over-bearing, she has turned into a

grubby and beat up woman. She feels that returning to Hassan is the right thing to do, and

when she shows up on Hassan’s door step, all anybody sees in her is “…a toothless

woman with stringy graying hair and sores on her arms. She looked like she had not eaten

for days…One of the cuts went from the cheekbone to the hairline and it had not spared

her left eye on the way,” (184). The retribution for committing the worst crime in

Afghanistani culture, for Sanaubar, is having her beauty takentakenstolen from her.

Beauty is the most precious characteristic to a woman, especially to Sanaubar, as she uses

it to her advantage:; “She had a dimpled smile and a walk that drove men crazy. No

onononone on who passed her on the street… man or woman could look at her only
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once,” (184 “her brilliant green eyes and impish face had…tempted countless men into

sin,” (7). Beauty gives confidence, and gives them an identity. Without her beauty

Sanaubar is lost, and weak, and without identity. When she shows up to Hassan and

Rahim’s gate Rahim asks: “who are you?” (183); her family and friends don’t recognize

her because she is not the same beautiful woman she was before she ran away. It is

expected, as well, that people of Afghani culture have children. When Soraya feels she

cannot have children, she, as well as her parents assume it is the price she is paying for

running away with another man before marriage:.

“Sometimes it takes a while.” [Amir] told Soraya one night.

“A year isn’t a while, Amir!” She said, in a terse voice so unlike her.

“Something’s wrong, I know it.”

“Then let’s see a doctor.” (161)

Soraya has an intuition that she is paying for her past sin and this frustrates her. She longs

to have a baby of her own and is feeling much regret for her actions and wishes there was

something she could do to take them back. Amir doesn’t understand that Soraya not

being able to have a child is the long term consequence shesheSoraya has to pay for from

her mistake in the past., and does not want to believe it either. Because of his

disbelief,idisnbelief he assumes that something can be done medically to help them have

a child. With the Afghanistani culture working against them, adding to their retribution

both woman seek a reformation they hope will help them in becoming content with

themselves.

The reformation of both women allows each of them the opportunity to fix their

mistakes, but at the same time pay for them. Soraya and Sanaubar are put into a
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reformative environments while in a sort of prison. As Sanaubar returns to Hassan, she

must be nursed back to health.h after being beaten so badly before she can start

improving her life. The way she is beat and her rough lifestyle is her version of a prison.

Sanaubar wants to be reformed because she realizes that life is improved when family is

around. She shows she has come to accept this by almost immediately asking ‘where is

Hassan?’” (184) for Hassan after collapsing on their driveway after and appearing for the

first time in decades: “[Rahim Khan] patted her brow with a wet cloth and she opened her

eyes. ‘Where is Hassan?’ she whispered.” (184). Her punishment period was by one way

or another being turned from a beautiful woman to a scraggly old hag one, as well as

being shunned by her son the first time she sees him since the day she left:. “Hassan

dropped her hand and bolted out of the house,” (184). Sanaubar knew deep down that

Hassan would reject her as she came unexpectedly. Hassan was a big influence on her

reformation – Sanaubar cameSanaubar caomes back to her family, is slowly forgiven by

Hassan for leaving all those years ago. and T to show that she is willing to be and

becomes reformed; she helps raise her grandson Sohrab like she should have years ago

with Hassan.: “[Sohrab] became the center of her existence… the two of them were

inseparable,” (185). Sanaubar had no one to ever call her world, or pride and joy. After

running away from Hassan her life went down hill, and never found its way back up until

she helped bring Sohrab into the world. When Sanaubar died “she looked calm, at peace,

like she did not mind dying,” (185). Until her own death Sanaubar did everything she

could for Hassan and his family so that when she died she would not die with guilt on her

soul. Her reformation allowed her to die peacefully.

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Likewise, Soraya also endured a prison from the minute she returned home. “‘…My

father took me to my bedroom and at me in front of the…mirror. He…told me to cut off

all of my hair. He watched while I did it,’” (156). General Taheri was ashamed of his

daughter;, he couldn’t stand to look at such a beautiful girl who committed a terrible sin.

He.; Hhe made her cut off all of her hair so she could to be ugly so she could see herself

the way that he saw her, ugly and disgraceful. Along with having to shave her head she

“didn’t step out of the house for weeks,” (156).She was forced to shave her head and stay

inside for weeks as her family banned her from contact with anyone on the outside. The

time she spent alone gave her plenty of time to think and reform herself. She re-evaluates

herself and realizes that reformation was the only way to get this sin off her chest. The

first action Soraya took in making things better was properly marrying Amir. Although

they didn’t have a Shirini-khori, they had a traditional wedding;, this made the Taheris

very proud of their daughter. Taking Tand taking care of Baba and her own motherwas

Soraya’s next task. . After their wedding “Soraya suggested that she move in with Baba

and [Amir],” (150). Soraya wanted to establish good relationships within her new family.

She realized that moving in with them would give her an opportunity to get to know Baba

better while helping him around the house for the last months of his life. She wanted to

impress her father even more than she had when she took care of her own mother after

her stroke. Soraya never felt like she was enough for her father, and this made her want to

change to gain possible forgiveness from him. When Soraya and Amir considered

adoption it was frowned upon by General Taheri. “Blood is a very powerful thing…

never forget that,” (163), General Taheri told Soraya and she never forgot. Because

Soraya was notpaying for her mistake by not being able to have a child, when Amir
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called from Afghanistan to tell her about Sohrab, she was overjoyed. She took this as a

great opportunity to finally have a child, and have her father be accepting to it because

Sohrab was from good blood, Baba’s blood. because even though she was damned to not

have children Soraya diddidshe was able to do everything in her power to help her

nephew come to America to live with Amir and herselfthem. Soraya realizes that even

though she was never able to carry her own child, that she could still bring a child ‘into

the world.’ Her reformation process allowed her to finally have what she desired most.

To conclude, Sanaubar and Soraya are put into a reformative e and retributive state after

running away which helps them become more content with themselves, and their lives.

Amir is the biggest character example in the Kite Runner, to go through a

reformation during this novel. Being a victim of tough love, Amir fights continuously for

attention from his father over Hassan. For this reason alone Amir lives with hatred

towards Hassan because he is jealous of him. Amir does not realize that Baba’s love goes

out to Hassan because Hassan is his son, as well.

““Ali was sterile,” Rahim Khan said…

“Then who—”

“I think you know who.”” (195)

Rahim knows that Amir is a passive kid, thought of no one but himself and needed his

help in becoming active, the biggest step in reformation. The winter of 1975 when Amir

watched Hassan be raped, he did nothing to help him because he was too afraid. This

event scared Amir and he is haunted with this memory. Rahim realizes that Amir is living

with a burden and wants to help him become a better person. Rahim calls Amir, not for

himself, but for Amir to help him with his reformation. Amir realizes that he needs to do
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what Rahim asked him to go back to Afghanistan to do, or else he will never be able to

forgive himself.

“Amir agha?” Fahrid said… “Why are you here?...For the boy?”

“For the boy.”

“It’s hard to believe.”

“Sometimes I myself can hardly believe I’m here”

Amir knows that he has to help Sohrab, and once he begins to he never stops. Khaled

Hosseini makes it known in the novel that to become reformed one must become active,

and strive to complete their reformation. A full reformation comes when one stops

thinking about themselves and puts the ones that they will help, in turn helping them,

first. Amir put Sohrab first, and he felt relieved with himself. Sohrab is Hassan to Amir –

he is given the opportunity, because he finally took action in his life. Amir fights for

Sohrab and makes sure he can someday make Sohrab as happy as Hassan made him. “…a

smile. It didn’t make everything all right. It didn’t make anything all right. Only a smile.

A tiny thing. A leaf in the woods, shaking in the wake of a startled bird’s flight,” (324).

The first time Amir saw Sohrab smile was like a rainbow after the storm. Amir knew he

had accomplished what Rahim had wanted and knew he would be proud of him.

In conclusion, Amir, along with Sanaubar and Soraya, are greatly affected

by the mistakes each of them made in the past. They find a way to reform themselves

because reformation allows them to become better people while fixing their mistakes.

None of them want to continue living with their past errors as a burden and they are not

content with themselves. Thomas Carlyle wisely states: “To reform a world, to reform
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a nation, no wise man will undertake; and all but foolish men know, that the only

solid, though a far slower reformation, is what each begins and perfects on himself.”