A CUB AMONGST ANGELS – Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic

WHO IS martin free?

While the very action of me keeping a blog would technically make me a “blogger,” I’ve never really
considered myself one. Mainly because I’ve not been able to really post anything on my blog for quite a
while now. At least, not with any real consistency, that is. Not for a lack of activity, mind you. On many
occasions, quite the opposite! There’s been SO much going on in my life! Not the least of which, is the
rediscovery of my Self, and the reason why I’ve decided to expand on my blog, and contribute to this
site [TheBadCubClub.com] on a regular basis! This feature, like my blog, was created in order for me to
embrace by inner Carrie Bradshaw, and document the trials & tribulations of my search for love!

Now, you may be asking yourself, “Why you? What makes you so special that you need your own
feature on a bear lifestyle web magazine?” Well, truth be told, I’m not sure I can really justify any
answer to that question with first explaining why I chose to write my blog, about the subjects of love,
romance & relationships, in the first place. Because of so much personal growth, emotionally &
intellectually, I’ve learned so much about who I am and what I want in life, and in particular, in love. I
have also learned that there is so much I still haven’t discovered and the only way to really evoke any
kind of self-revelation is to take chances! So, I’m choosing to become less passive in my search for the
next love of my life and stepping it up a notch, so to speak! Now, that doesn’t mean I’m going back to
“taking applications & conducting interviews,” as I had coined it, about fifteen years ago. Granted, that
approach found me my ex-husband, with whom I shared seven wonderful years of marriage and still
maintain as one of my closest friends. No, this time around, I’m just taking it to the next step above
being completely passive. Whatever that step might be. Discovering that next step was why I had
started my blog. I believe that by documenting everything that happens & everything I learn, on my
blog, I may be able to get closer to tapping into that which will allow me to find my absolute happiness
within myself, and the next Mr. Right. And by sharing those revelations, opinions & the stories which
brought them about, through this feature, I hope to incite a dialogue amongst all the readers so we can
perhaps get a better understanding of our gender, our community & our selves.

Now, I realize that I do come with a decidedly unique point of view: a Filipino/Spanish/Sicilian Buddhist,
born & raised in the former British commonwealth of Hong Kong; moved to the United States at 16 and
spent my formative dating years in the City of Angels as a West Hollywood, club-kid twink, before
getting married, settling down, eventually getting divorced, and emerging back onto the dating scene, in
my new-found identity as a bear! Pile on top of that the issues of being a bear-identified Asian in an oft
Caucasio-centric community; being a bear ‘activist’ regularly working, playing & living in a public forum,
due to my involvement in a fledgling grassroots bear group called KUMA; and navigating through life as
a sexually active, healthy man, living with HIV. It’s a lot to digest, I know. Believe me! I’m still working
through it all. But thanks to my supportive family & wonderful friends, life is made that much sweeter!

So, there it is! The beginning of a new chapter in my life! I welcome you all to join me on this journey,
and I look forward to all the fun, and yes, even the heartache, that is sure to follow!!!