An Essay on Life, In General of Course

Interesting how the phrase “people come and go” applies sometimes and you
don’t even feel it. Hasn’t anyone noticed yet? You lose friends faster than you gain
them. How many people did you consider your friends when you were… Say in 2nd
grade? Everyone was your friend, even the guy in the other class who always asks
you for your Piattos snack. I mean, that foo didn’t even know what your name was.
You were just friends, and it was friendly to share your chips. We all had a lot of
friends back then; it’s just that when people grow old, you lose your innocence. It’s
a sad deal I know, because someday Jack sitting in front of you isn’t cool enough to
hang with you anymore. After awhile, Robert who you used to draw cartoon heroes
with doesn’t think Dragonball is the best show anymore, so there goes that guy. And
little by little your list grows thin…

Interesting how being “cool” decides everything in a teenager’s life. How

many of us said “fuck grades, all I want to do is hang with those kids who smoke
dope?” They didn’t think it was cool to study, apparently nor did you. Again, the
friends you used to have who didn’t smoke pot are now gone, and all you gain are a
group of temporary idiots like yourself, who only care about you because you’re
tough enough to kick it with them. School is for fools. Look at them kids who stuck
with their studies? They’re stupid rich people now, doctors, lawyers and whatever
the fuck. Me? I’m still cool chugging my beer and chilling with Mary Jane. Fucking
poser fucks. I bet that’s what a lot of people are thinking right now. Oh, and those
“cool friends” you had? A lot of them are dead, in rehab, in lockdown or married to
some bitch they got pregnant and forced to do hard labor their whole life. Now
that’s real tight, man.

Interesting how “barkadas or cliques” say we’ll stick through thick and thin.
It’s just like marrying a box of condoms. They’ll be there sometimes, but once it
fucks up you’re screwed for life. What happens after that? You don’t trust Durex or
Trust or Trojan anymore. Sound familiar? I bet it does, on both ends too. So now
where do you look for help? Yourself? Nah. You already threw that option out the
window a long time ago, you dependent fuck. This is where those lines come to
mind, “Trust only yourself”, “ Only one ’s self can truly fix his problems”. Have you
ever heard such bad BS? I’m allergic to BS by the way, so step down stranger. So
what now? I bet it wasn’t as complicated back in the day. Doesn’t matter what kind
of “back in the day” you remember too. If you think about it, even just a second
ago, life was simpler.

Interesting how money decides your fate, once you start needing it. Just like
everyone else, I bet we all had some sort of “money problem” when we were
teenagers. And we thought it was the end of the world back then.. Didn’t have
enough money to play CS, not enough money to buy those hip new clothes, not
enough money to date some chick, not enough money to be COOL. We used to bitch
about it like our lives depended on money back then, and I speak representing the
middle class. Poor people I understand but rich people are even dumber by having
this problem. Tell me you fat grease-fed fuck, did you have any real problems yet?
I’m 21 and I haven’t, for now at least. Sure friends fight, sure you get into an
argument with your girlfriend, sure you lose your brand new cellphone.. Do you
know how it is to starve? To go out and find food for yourself? To need to support
someone knowing you can’t? To be sick and not have enough money to cure
yourself? Homeopathic shit only works to a certain degree you lard-sweating pig.
Until people like you have the decency to step down and really help people in need,
you get no respect from me.

Interesting how I always rant against rich people, and I’m sure a lot of other
people do. But aren’t we all trying to get rich? I know I wouldn’t mind finding a
suitcase of a kazillion dollars sitting somewhere for me to jack. Does that make me
a poser? I guess I am a poser. It sucks to know that when I’m rich, I’m still not
paying for the schmuck who didn’t work hard enough to earn his medicare. That’s
your own fault you slimy-grocery bagging piece of shit. Go get smart. Go fix
yourself. After all, the only person in the whole world who can fix your shit is
yourself right? What the fuck is wrong with the way people think?

Interesting how everything revolves around you. I revolve around you, and I
think you revolve around me. Were all a bunch of selfish fucks, and that’s how it’s
going to be for years to come. Thinking back, I used to be that way. People are
individuals, individuals are persons. They’re not some accessory or event in our
lives; they’re not a +1 on our popularity meter, a -1 to our coolness factor, or a level
up to our self-esteem. They exist, we exist and we complement each other as
humans. You don’t make me any cooler by hanging with me; she doesn’t make me
look better because she goes out with me. No one is a trophy, you yourself is not a
trophy. You’re not that great, trust me.

And lastly, being the flying selfish prick shit I am, I’ll rant on something
personal. Interesting how people always say “rock on” these days. This has been
bothering me since Jesus was born of Mary’s fucking womb. Since when did the next
loser learn to say this phrase? Since when did everyone turn into a rocker-poser? Do
people even know how to “Rock On”? What is that? Do you say Rock On while
listening to Jay-Z and bumping his bass like mad-shit-fuck-the-world-is-going-to-
end? You fucking double-poser. I bet these rappers would even pay you to stop
listening to your music.. No one wants your double-dipping make believe social
status shit. Even I’m afraid to say this phrase because I can’t rock on as hard as the
fore-fathers-jesus-forgiven gods who even make rock music. I don’t even come
close! What chance do you have, boy? So stop saying it when you don’t know it, or
don’t mean it. Don’t shame me and all the other people who refrain from using this
phrase because it’s too cool for us. Stop proving to the whole world how big of a
bleeding embassil you are, and your mom probably knows it. No?
Bakit nakayuko yung ulo ng biik pag naglalakad siya? Kasi yung nanay niya baboy.
Tingnan natin kung kailangan tumigil sa kayuyuko mga hayop na yan.

Hindi yung baboy na kulay pink at kinakain yung sinasabi ko ha. Sa loob nating
lahat, may baboy.

By Gerald Caoile. If were close enough, you know where to reach me.