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ƀFRIENDSHIP TEST...
thEtEstoFfRiEndsHipdOseN'tcOmeSwHen u R 2GethEr. It cOmEswHeN u ParTwaYs& u
ReaLizEtHatdEsPitEtHedIsTanCe, thEfRiEndshIpiSsTilLtHeRe...

ƀFRIENDS
True friends are like Diamonds... they are real and rare. False friends are like leaves... they
are scattered everywhere.

ƀF.U.C.K
REMEMBER: if u need a FUCK, u can always count on me bcoz F.U.C.K stands for
FRIENDS U CAN KEEP. Fuck 4ever, & promise me that we FUCK till eternity!

ƀFRIENDSHIP IS....
FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forGet but how U forGive, Not how U liSten but how U
UnderStand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go but how U hold oN!!!

ƀ PRICELESS GIFT
FriEndSHiPiS A PRiCeLeSsGiFttHaTcAn'T Be BoUgHt Or SoLd, BuT To Have An
UnDeRsTaNdiNgFriEndiSFaRMoReWoRtHtHaNGoLd~!

ƀSUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED

If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you need me, come to me... If
you need money... ........... THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!

ƀ COMPARE
FRIENDSHIP is like a tree... It is not MEASURED on how TALL it could be, but is on how
DEEP the ROOTS HAVE GROWN...

ƀFRIENDS 4 LIFE
Without humor, life sux. Without courage, life is hard. Without love, life is hopeless.
Without friends like you, life is impossible!

ƀCOMPUTER
A good friend is like a computer; me 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart, 'format' ur problems,
'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my memory!

ƀFRIENDS ALWAYS
In this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one thing is DEFINITE.
You'll always be my FRIEND, beyond WORDS, beyond TIME & beyond DISTANCE!
ƀANGEL FRIENDS
I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels but I call them my
best friends.

ƀOUT OF MY CONTROL
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was
completely out of my control.

ƀ MEMORY LASTS FOREVER

A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay together and never say good
bye.

ƀ FRIENDSHIP
The ship that will never sink is my friendship with you.

ƀ NEVER SPLIT
I met U as a stranger, I leave U as a friend, as long as the world stands, our friendship nv
ends. All friends nv split N even if they do they will meet again.

ƀNEVER LOSE TRUE FRIENDS

I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I realised tat loving a friend is
even better, we lose ppl we love but we never lose true friends.

ƀ WITHOUT A FRIEND LIKE U

EveRyDay I seELoTsoFStRangErSPasSiNg By mE, ThiSmAkeSmEreAlisEDtHat,
LifEwoUlD be BORING, WiThoUt A FriEnDLiKE U...

ƀ BEHIND YOU
DuRiNgOuRFrIeNdShIp, ThErEwIlL B TiMeS U wOn'tSeE Me BeSiDe U, DuNThInK I
LeFt U BeHiNd, I JuStChOsE To WaLkBeHiNd U So I CaNCaTcH U WhEn U Fall...

ƀ NAKED
GUY: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. GAL: If I see you naked, I'd probably die
laughing.

ƀ MAKING LOVE
After making love, wat r u tryin to say? I love u? Wrong! 1 more time? Wrong. U r so
pretty?Wrong. I'm so tired? Wrong! The answer is tissue...tissue...plsss!!!

ƀKISS
A peach is a peach, a plum is a plum. what is a kiss without a tongue.
ƀPAINTING
A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the
body, he was asked what he was doing & he answered - waitng 4 autumn.

ƀFALLING APART
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my
briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.

ƀHOME EARLY
1 day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey
buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

ƀ NEVER LOSE ME!

We gain and lose things every day. But trust me on one thing: YOU WILL NEVER LOSE
ME! I will always be there as a friend!

ƀBEST FREN
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

ƀSHOOTING STARS
The times we shared is like shooting star... the time is short but really beautiful moments....
Forever engraved in our hearts.... Friends forever~!!!

ƀ KEEPING A FRIEND
KeEping a FRIEND is As Difficult AS losing one. U sacrifice A lot To keep them. I may not
have sacrificed enuf 4 u... but in my HEART I swear I'm keeping U..

ƀ PROMISE
We've known each other by CHANCE, became friends by CHOICE, still friends by
DECISION. And when we say FRIEND FOREVER, that's definitely a lifetime PROMISE!

ƀFLOWER
If friends were flowers I would not pick you! I'll let you grow in the garden & cultivate you
with love and care so I can keep you as a friend 4ever!!

ƀ A RING
A ring is round and has no end.... and that's how long I'll be your friend.

ƀWONDERFUL FRIEND
There is a gift that gold cannot buy, a blessing dats rare & true, dats the gift of a wonderful
friend like the friend dat i have in u!

ƀWAT U SEE
Wat u see as truth wat u see as lies remember that true friendship never dies although we
may change & drift apart, ill always value u deep within my heart!

ƀ FATE 2B FRIENDS
A friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are meant to enter your life to bring you joy
and laughter. So, i will treasure the friendship between us.

ƀ WHAT YOU SAY

Everyone hears what you say... Friends listen to what you say... Best friends listen to what
you don't say...

ƀ FRIENDSHIP MEANS...
I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh.. I laugh. U jump
out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again..hahaha

ƀ ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU...

Friends are like stars. You can't always see them, But you know they are always there for
you...

ƀ LEAVING FOOTPRINTS
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in
your heart.

ƀAS LONG AS....

As long as we have memories, yesterday remains; as long as we have hope, tomorrow
awaits. As long as we have Friendship, each day is never a waste.

ƀ MY BRA
agd friend is like a gd bra... hard to find, very comfortable, supportive, and always close to
the heart..... HELLO MY GD BRA :)

ƀ PRICETAGS
GOD is so wise that he never created FRIENDS with pricetags, Because..... if He did, I can't
afford a precious FRIEND like YOU!!!

ƀOLD FRIENDS
Never abandon old friends. They are hard 2 replace. Friendships is like wine: it gets
BETTER as it grows OLDER. Just like us... i get BETTER, u get OLDER.
ƀ PATH OF FRIENDSHIP
The sun is glazing, upon the sunlight i see the path of our friendship shining brightly
knowing that it is so great to have a friend like YOU! :)

ƀ NIGHT PRAYER
Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If you can't make
me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen.

ƀABOUT ME
Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, Spontaneous, Good Looking, Nice Friends, Charming, Funny,
well... Enough about ME! How about you?

ƀ GOOD TASTE
A phone is a form of communication, a kiss is a form of affection. A picture is a form of
remembrance, CHOOSING me as ur FRIEND is a form of..ehem GOOD TASTE!

ƀ BE MY FRIEND
If U need a friend and there are a hundred steps between us, you can take the 1st step to get
near me and i will take all 99 step to be there for you.

ƀ RULES TO BE HAPPY
6 rules to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from worries; Live
simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have ME as UR FRIEND

ƀ FRIENDS
Time might lead me to nowhere; Fate might break me apart; I'll always be thankful that
once, along my life's journey I found a friend like U...

ƀKISS MY ASS
The fluffy clouds may kiss the sky, The rose may kiss the butterfly, The morning dew may
kiss the grass,But u my friend can kiss my ass!

ƀRING
I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see
the promised land....

ƀ FRIENDS LIKE HAIR

Friends are like a head of hair. You might lose some, but with enough $money$ you can buy
them back.
 ƀNICE FRIENDS
A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my everyday seems so
great. Thank U my good friend lastly gdnite n sweet dreams...



 
ƀHey Sleeping Bird!
Come Back From The Dreams
New Day Has Been Started
Welcome To Another Lovely Morning
Have A Nice Day.

ƀSun glows for a day,

Candle for an hour,
Matchstick for a minute,
But a good day can glow forever,

So start ur day with a SMILE

Have a nice day!

Good Morning«!

ƀMay you begin this day with a smile on your face, and with happiness for your soul to
embrace. Good Morning my love

ƀEvery new day

Is a new chapter of life
Bringing new topics
New moments for life
I wish today all the good
Moments approach
Way to make your day joyful
Good Morning

ƀNo shadows to depress u,

only joys to surround u,
friends to luv u,
and God himself to bless u.
These r my wishes for today,
tomorrow & everyday.
Good Morning«!!

ƀKnock!!!Knock!!! May I come into ur world???i bring no flowers,Nocakes,But wishes to

keep U fresh,Prayer to keep u healthy,And love to keep u smiling...Good Morning....

ƀGood Morning
³Just For You´
³Must For You´
³First For You´
³Nothing To Wish´
³Nothing 2 Say´
³´Always Be Happy´
³Its My Pray´
³Have A Nice Day:-)

ƀI just love when morning gets here, cuz i can send a Great Big Good Morning sms to my
bestestfriend.what a lovely way to start my day

ƀ A sPecIaLBrEakFasT 4 U
In ThEHoTeL Of My HEART
A BouL Of LOVE
A SPooN Of CÄRÉ
MeNu Is FRNDSHIP
PaYThEBilL By Ur CuTeSmiLe.
=G= u= D= m=O=r=N=i=n=g

ƀHello, wakeup, Receive my simple gift of 'GOOD MORNING' wrapped with sincerity,
tied with care and sealed with a prayer to keep u safe and happy all day long! Take Care!

ƀMorning Coolness,
Rising Sun,
Singing Birds,
Melting Dew,
Along With This
Little Heart
Wishing You A Very
Glorious Good Morning

ƀThe sun has once brought brightness to earth! lazy bone. it's time 2 wake up gd morning...

ƀ5 Steps to every LOVELY MORNING this year. Close your eyes,

Take a deep breath, Open your arms wide, Feel your heart beat &
say« Here I AM OH LORD, Embrace ME & be my STRENGTH TODAY!!!

ƀIt makes me so happy, this is what i m gonna do, Send a good morning sms right back to
youuu, Good Morning my Friend, HAVE A BEARY GOOD MORNING.
ƀ An honest smile from a smiling heart,
Crossing many kilometers,
has just reached to your INBOX,
Wishing you a very happy
GOOD MORNING

ƀEarly this morning God gave me 3 baskets of fruits -

LOVE + HAPPINESS + PEACE OF MIND and told me 2 share them with PPL Dear 2 me.
I'm sharing all with U...
Good Morning!

ƀ All mornings are like Paintings:-

You need a little inspiration to get going,
A little smile to brighten up & SMS from someone who
Cares to color your day«GOOD MORNING«..Have a Nice Day..

ƀWith petals of Roses,Palm full of Holly water,Light of Full Sun,Fragrance of Flower and
Grass with dew.I wish u a very special Good Morning....

ƀ A morning is a wonderful blessing,

either cloudy or sunny.
It stands for hope,
giving us another start
of what we call life.
Have a good morning.

ƀWake up & Wink those Teeny Weeny Eyes.

Stretch those InzyWinny Bones,
Wear that Jolly Winning smile & tell yourself today is a beautiful day,
Good Morning«,

ƀPlease have a coffee of warm SMS

with sugar of sweet wishes
prepared specially for you
at this cold morning from me.
Never mind if sugar is little,
Bcoz I¶ve prepared it for the 1st time.
Good Morning.

ƀThe sun had raised from the east &

birds are singing happily &
butterflies are around the flowers.
It is time to wake up & give a big yawning & say Good Morning to you..

ƀTreat everyone with politeness,Even those who are rude to U.....Not because they are not
nice,Butbcoz u are nice....!!!**Good morning**

ƀM-ake the most of it.

O-pen your heart and mind.
R-emember to thank God.
N-ever frown
I-magine me
N-othing to worry.
G-ood Morning!
Wish you have nice day
&
of course good morning

ƀNew Morning+ New Aim+ New Achievement + Ur Dedication +

Commitment=Success...Just do it and win it Good Morning....

ƀI just love when morning gets here,

Because i can send a Great Big Good Morning sms to my best friend.
what a lovely way to start my day.

ƀMorning greetings doesn¶t only mean saying Good Morning,

it has asilent message saying:
I remember you when I wake up!
Have a nice day!

ƀ A shining angel stands beside your silky bed

calling your nice name so softly
throwing flowers on you and
saying good morning
have a nice day

ƀ Always ask GOD to give you what you deserve,Not what you desire.Your desires may be
few but you deserve a lot.... Good Morning..

ƀWith petals of Roses,Palm full of Holly water,

Light of Full Sun,Fragrance of Flower and Grass with dew.
I wish you a very special Good Morning«.

ƀI think u r very careless! U come &leave things behind! See now what U hav left! U just
came in my mind & left
a SMILE on MY Face. Good Morning

ƀThe beautiful dreams has come true.

The little cute birds are singing for you.
The rays of sun are touching your beautiful eyes
and
disturbing you for wishing good morning.

ƀNew day new blessing.Don´t let yesterday´s failures ruin the

beauty of today,because each day has its own promise of
love,joy,forgiveness«..
Good Morning
ƀI wish God made me a SMS, so that I can reach you in 5 sec, Cost u nothing, u'll read me
& I cud C U smiling which is worth a million 4me. Good Morning.

ƀ5 Steps To A Lovely Morning..

1- Open Your Eyes.
2- Take A Deep Breath.
3- Smile A Bit.
4- Open Your Arms Wide.
5- Say, ³Its Too Early.
Lets Sleep Again.´

ƀ Before facing a new day,

bow your head & say this prayer:
³Thank you God for this amazingly dashing sender.
May his smartness inspire me all day long´
good morning!!

ƀThe smile is like a simcard and life is like a Cellphone,whenever you insert the Simcard of
a smile a beautiful day is activated...Good Morning

ƀDr¶s prescription for today.A cute little smile for breakfast.

More laugh for Lunch,Lots of happiness for Dinner,Dr´s fee«
whole Day think of me«.Good Morning«

ƀDo you know the meaning of morning.?

morning means: one more inning
given by the god to play and win.
so good morning.
Have a nice day.

ƀSilence is the best way to keep away from problems. Smile is a powerful tool to avoid
many problems. So have a silent smile always..Good Morning

ƀWith petals of Roses,Palm full of Holly water,

Light of Full Sun,Fragrance of Flower and Grass with dew.
wish you a very special Good Morning«.

ƀ Between 100000 yesterdays & 100000 tomorrows,

There is only one today and I would not let this pass
without saying thanks for
being such a lovely friend« Good Morning««««..

ƀMorning is not only sunrise

but a beautiful miracle of GOD
that defeats the darkness & spread light.
May everyday spread light in your whole life.Ameen.!
³Good Morning³

ƀMorning is a good time to

remember all the sweet things
and
all sweet persons in your life
so wake up with your your dreams
Goood Morning

ƀThank you for waking me up.

A warm good morning, after
sweet dreams of last night.
wish you a good day with good morning:)

ƀIt makes me so happy, this is what i m gonna do,

Send a good morning sms right back to you,
Good Morning my Friend,
HAVE A GOOD MORNING.

ƀ Your soul came back from dreaml

and
re-united with a sleeping senseless piece of yourself
slowly open ur eyes
realize its a brand new day
Good Morning

ƀWe¶re not too close in distance.

We¶re not too near in miles.
But text can still touch our hearts
and
thoughts can bring us smiles.
Good morning!

ƀThe sun had rise from the east &birds r singing happily &
butterflies are around the flowers. It is time to wake up &
give a big yawning & say good morning to you..

ƀThe Word µHello¶ means

H=How R U?
E=Everything all right?
L=Like 2 hear 4rm U.
L=Love 2 C U soon.
O=Obviously,
I miss you!
Good Morning my freind

ƀ All d achievements in this world r made by People who had d courage to not to listen to d
crowd..
But..
Do wat they felt was right??
Think!!
Gud morning!!
ƀ Your soul came back from dreamland reunited with a
sleeping senseless piece of yourself slowly open your
eyes realize its a brand new day. Good Morning.

ƀGod will not give u a burden u can¶t handle.

So, if u find urself in a mess that¶s impossible to resolve,
Take it as a compliment-god thinks u can do it!
Good morning

ƀThe sun rises into the sky

The sun rises into the sky with the warmest smile,
he wishes you a good morning,
hoping that you have the perfect day.
Take care & miss you.
Good Morning

ƀ Above the dark horizon soon

new light rays wil appear.
They signify to all the world
a fresh new day is here
Good Morning:

ƀGood Morning
Always welcome a new day
with a´smile´on your
lips,
³love´in your ³heart´
&
³good thoughts´in your ³mind´
& you¶ll have a wonderful day

ƀ A Bird That
You Set Free
May Be Caught Again,

But

A Word That
Escapes Your Lips
Will Not Return «
So Think Before You Leap
G o.O d MoRnInG

ƀThe Word µHello¶ means

H=How R U?
E=Everything all right?
L=Like 2 hear 4rm U.
L=Love 2 C U soon.
O=Obviously,
I miss you!
Good Morning my friend

ƀOne day Monday went toTuesday to see Wednesday and ask Thursday wheatherFrday has
told Saturday that SundaY is a FUN day....Good morning...

ƀThe sun rises into the sky

The sun rises into the sky with the warmest smile,
he wishes you a good morning,
hoping that you have the perfect day.
Take care & miss you.
Good Morning

ƀIt is a
S´imple´
M´ind touching´
I´nteractive´
L´ong lasting´
E´ffect which Wins the hearts.
Yes..
Its your ³SWEET SMILE´
So Keep smiling always,
good morning!

ƀ A day may start or end without a message from me, but believe me it won't start or end
without me thinking of u...

GOOD Morning!

ƀGet Up From your Softy Softy Bed«

Open Your«
Teeny Weeny Eyes«
Wash Your
PinkyShinky Face«
Because«
Some One Wants to WISH You«
Good Morning

ƀMorning Voices
Uk: Hi dear
USA:Good morning
China Mehow
Japan:Shanhow
Italy:manichi
India:Namastay
France:sanchay
India: uthbaigharat, subah k 8 bajgayehain

ƀ(G)rapes
(O)range
sap(O)ta
(D)ates
(M)ango
p(O)megranate
st(R)awberry
water-melo(N)
p(I)neapple
ba(N)ana
(G)uava
Have a fruity day..

ƀHi,now i am coming to meet u«

in the way of sun light«
in the way of sweet breeze«
in the way of good wishes«
just to say good morning«

ƀDear Customer,
Your remaining
Sleeping time
Has expired.
SO
Please
Leave your bed
And get up.
And
say t0 all
G00D M0RNING HAVE A NICE DAY !!!

ƀNo man in this world is rich

enough to buy his own PAST.
Enjoy each moment
before it gets beyond reach.
Have Good Day!

ƀWrap a rainbow of joy in you heart,

Let the sun paint a smile on your face,
Remove all clouds of doubt & fear
And receive God¶s gift of life.
Good Morning!

ƀMorning is not only sunrise

but
A beautiful miracle of God
that defeats Darkness & spreads light. May you have a beautiful day always..!!
Good Morning

ƀGod will not give you a burden, you can¶t handle.

So, if you find yourself in a mess
that¶s impossible to resolve,
Take challenge as a compliment.
God thinks you can do it!
Good Morning

ƀSilent in mouth may avoid many problems..

But..
smile in mouth may solve all the problems..
So always have a sweet, silent smile«
Wish you a good morning and nice day.

ƀWhatever is beautiful,
Whatever is meaningful,
whatever gives you Happiness
May all that be your Today,
Tomorrow & Forever ,
GoöDMorninG

ƀ An ideal day should begin with

a cute little yawn on your face,
A cup of coffee in your hand &
A sms from me on your mobile?!
Have a great day!
Good Morning.

ƀSimple music can make you sing,

A simple hug can make you feel better,
Simple things can make you happy.
Hope my simple Hi«!!!
Will make you smile
«Good Morning«.

ƀGood morning
With a great light of sun
With the songs of birds
With the great Azaan of Masjid
With the Quraan
With the happiness
With a great smile
And with the morning prayer
Have a nice day
ƀMorning beauty with cool and soft breeze
are reminders that Allah loves You.
So you should enjoy the day and
make you day a memorable and lovable day!
³GOOD MORNING´:-*

ƀDont read success story.

Read only failure story,
B¶coz, failure story you get new idea to win,
from Success story you get only message.
Good morning to u

ƀCheerful people are like Sunlight.

They shine in to the corners of the heart
&
offer bright mornings & fresh hopes.
**Good Morning**
to one such person«

ƀHi to Sweet Person

who passed Sweet Night with a Sweet Dream,
Now want to pass Sweet Day with Sweet talk,
Have a Sweet DAY,
Have a Sweet MORNING!!!

ƀ³The minute you think of giving up any relation,

think of the reason why you held it so long´
Good morning and have a nice day.

ƀ An ideal day should begin

with a cute little yawn on your face!
A cup of coffee in your hand
And a message from me on your mobile!!!
Hope you have had all the three!!!
Good Morning«.

ƀNow SUN is HAPPY and

MOON is Upset
Because
MOON is Missing you and
SUN is with you
Have a Great and
lovely day

ƀHappiness is not something u postpone 4 the future.

It¶¶s something u design 4 the present.
Make each moment a happy one.
I just did it by remembering U!
Good Morning & Have a nice day
ƀG-get up
O-open your eyes
O-out of your bed
D-day has risen
M-merry life
O-old dreams come true
R-rise and shine
N-new friends
I-ideas of life
N-nice future
G-GOODDAY 4 U!

ƀ An excellent saying
³The Dream is not what you see in sleep,
Dream is the thing which does not let you sleep.´
Good morning

ƀMany peoples realize their

heart¶s desires late in life
Continue learning
Never stop striving
&
Keep your curiosity sharp
&
You¶ll never become too old to
appreciate life
~ Good Morning ~

ƀEvery sunset gives us,

One day less to live!
But every sunrise give us,
One day more to hope!
So, hope for the best.
Good Day & Good Luck!

And Good Morning



ƀIt is very special today to say good night
because it is last night of the year.
I wish that God also forgive
all of our sins and mistakes.
So that we enter new year in refined and innocent form.
Good night.

ƀOn this night as i lie on my bed,i just cant stop thinking about u my LOVE.May u have a
blessed & a beatiful
GUD NITE.

ƀHide my tears when I say your name,

But the pain in my heart is still the same.
Although I smile & seem carefree,
There¶s no one who miss you more than me.
Good Night & Sweet Dream

ƀClose your eyes,

Concentrate your mind &
Pray to god about the things
That you want most.
GOD must fulfill your prayer...
Have a nice sleep...

ƀG-o to bed O-ff the lights O-ut of tensions

D-reams come N-ice sleep I-gnore worries
G-et up early H-ave a nice day T-hank God always

ƀI wish that God would hold u tight.

I hope that angels will keep u in site.
Now just2make sure u feel all rite,
I'm gonna wish u a wonderful Night!

ƀ As night falls upon the land,

it is time to sleep again.
With the moon hanging in the starlit sky,
I am here to wish you Night Night!
Sweet dreams, cover blanket tight tight

ƀIn tis lovely nite, I pray 2 the blue moon 2 protect U thru the nite, the wind 2 blow away ur
stress N the
twinkle stars 2 guide U the way, sweet dreams G00d NIGHT!

ƀI wish that God would hold you tite. i hope that angels will
keep you in site. Now just to make sure you feel all rite, I´m
gonna wish you a wonderful night! sleeptite!!

ƀsleepy msg for a sleepy person from a sleepy friend for a sleepy reason at a sleepy time on
the sleepy day in
a sleepy mood to say please sleep"gud night"

ƀRemember that each time u fall ..

I'll nvr let u reach the ground..
Trust me..il always be around.gudnight

ƀ Black sky with solo moon

with millions of stars
brings you a silent hours
to take a nice rest.
Enjoy the whole night.
Good Night

ƀDespite the Old saying "Don't Take Your Troubless& Worries To Bed" Most of the
People still sleep with their wives!!!
WHAT A CRAZY WORLD, Good Night.

ƀWelcome aboard to ³Sweet Dreams´ airline, all passengers on bed,

hug your pillows as the flight will be leaving soon to dream land.
Enjoy your time Good Night«

ƀ A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my everyday seems
so great. Thank U my good friend lastly gdnite n sweet dreams

ƀLook outside its so romantic.

The cloud is hugging you,
With a cold wind,
The star singing for you,
The moon dancing for you,
Because I invite them all to wish you,
Good Night, Have a lovely Dreams and Sleep Well.

ƀ "do not count what u have lost. just see what u have now, because past never comes back
but sometimes future can give u back ur lost things! 'good night'.

ƀDon¶t ever give up when you are down..

it doesn¶t matter if you fall many times..
just remember that each time you fall ..
It never let you reach the ground..trust me..
It always bearound.Good Night.

ƀQuickly go look out to the window.

I blow a kiss for you,
I hope it gonna last you
for the whole night.
Good Night
ƀNight is longer than day for those who DREAM & day is longer than night for those who
make their DREAMS
come true. Wish you Good Night & Sweet Dreams!

ƀThe stars are out, The moon is up, 1 more HUG, 1 more smile,
KISS you once, KISS you twice, now its time for bed. Close
your eyes, and sleep tite!

ƀIf kisses could fly,

I would just send one
Just to say Good night!
Much Love

ƀ1 evening I will come to you room,

lock the door,
turn off the lights,
join you in bed.
I¶ll come closer to you,
my lips near your face«.
and
I¶ll shout: have a great night

ƀI was looking out the windows thinking about the person

I care most & the person that came into my mind is you so
just wanna wish you good Night.

ƀStars have settled & moon will shine,

friendship matures like lovely wine,
a very lovely night to a friend of mine,
may your night be cool & fine
Good Night Dear

ƀI wish that God would hold you tight.

I hope that angels will keep you in site.
Now just to make sure you feel all right,
I¶m gonna wish you a wonderful Night!
Good Night!

ƀMay the noor of this NIGHT illuminate

you heart,mind& soul
and may all your duas be answred.
Good Night

ƀWash your face and wash your feet! Now its time to fall asleep.
Yours eyes are weak ans mouth can´tspeak so hope this night shall
be nice and sweet. Good Night.

ƀ darkness is every ware.

the birds r back there home.
road are quite
every body is sleeping.but i m not
u know y? just wanted 2 say u Good night

ƀTake a deep breath,Stand near the window,Look at the sky,There will be two stars
twinkling brightly,u know what they are????They are my eyes always taking care of U..Good
night

ƀThere are a million stars

and
a million dreams,
you are the only star for me,
the only dream I dream.
See you In Dreams.
Good Night

ƀIn soft gleaming night of stars,

May all your dreams come true.
May every star of every night,
Bring love and joy to you.
Good Night

ƀ At this moment 3.7 Millions are sleeping,

2.3 Millions are falling in Love,
4.1 Million are eating
&
only one cute person in the whole world
is reading my SMS
Good Night!!!

ƀTiredness draws across the mind making the body fade

flexibility and soon windows of soul begin to close and
enter the dreamland!! Sweet Dreams!

ƀOops!?. Ouch I fell from bed

Trying to reach my phone just to
Say sweet dreams to you
Sleep tight.

ƀSaying GoodNight is not just

putting an end to a day.

Its a way of saying ,

I remember u before i go 2 sleep.

Hope u can feel the care that goes with it«.

GOOD NIGHT..

ƀ As the day turns into night,

keep your worries out of sight.
Close your eyes and go to sleep,
All the good times are yours to keep.
Sweetest dreams & Good Night

ƀTiny stars shining bright,

Its time 4 me 2 say goodnight,

So close ur eyes & snuggle up tight,

I¶m wishing u sweet dreams tonight!

ƀ As you go to bed tonight, I ordered bats to guard you tight.

I told some ghosts to dance in white, & to make sure you are alright,
i´ll ask the Dracula to kiss your neck Good Night..

ƀOn this cold cold night,

in my small small room,
I look at the bright brigh stars
in the dark dark sky
&
Dream of your sweet sweet smile
on your cute cute face.
Just want to wish u GOOD GOOD Night

ƀNight doesn¶t become beautiful

with star studded sky & full moon,
It becomes beautiful when you go to sleep
and
let stars & moon admire your innocence.
Good Night

ƀNight is Silent,

Night is Beautiful,

Night is Calm,

Night is Quiet..
But

Night is not complete

Without Wishing U

Good night.

Sweet dreams!.

ƀSsshh«.!
Dont afraid its me.
Just putting a blanket of love upon you.
so that you¶ll never feel that you are alone.
Love you
Have a cozy sleep full of heavenly dreams.
Good Night

ƀSomewhere out there beneath the pale moon light

Someone think in of you some where out there
Where dreams come true«
Good Night & sweet dreams to you

ƀTo hearts which near each other move

From evening close to morning light,
The night is good; becose, my love,
They never say good-night.

ƀIn this lovely night,

I pray to the blue moon
to protect you through the nite,
the wind to blow away your stress
and
the twinkle stars to guide you the way,
Sweet dreams GoodNight

ƀMaster of puppets is pulling your strings,

Twisting your mind in SmasHing your dreams.
Blinded by me, you can´t see a thing when i
count to 3 you shall fall a sleep 1,2,3,Zzz

ƀWhat a pity! I¶m not at your place!

Miles separate me from you
This night in my dreams I¶ll see your face
Good night, my angel, I hope you miss me too!
ƀWhen you are at the end of the rope,
just tie ³one´ knot and hang on
ill surely come and tie the remaining ´ two´ around you«..
remember, only in darkness we can see stars ! !
whenever , wherever ill be there for you
good night and sweet dreams!!

ƀIf I was there tonight:

I would cover you in a blanket of love,
and hold you in my arms all night.
I would protect you against the monsters under your bed
and show you how much I care about you.
kisses and hugs, sweet dreams
Good Night

ƀGoodnight my dear
I'm glad I have u near
For the many things u've brought me
There's nothing I shall fear
Goodnight my dear
Let my songs wipe ur tears
We've certainly got each other
And we always shall through the years

ƀSsshh«.Don¶t afraid..
its me..
just putting a blanket of love upon you
so that you¶ll never feel that you are alone..
Love you
Have a good sleep full of heavenly dreams«.
Good Night

ƀTake a glass of sugar

and put it in your eyes
so you will have sweet dreams!
If you want spicy dreams,
then try chilly powder!
Good night
Have a nice dream.

ƀThe feeling of affection starts from the eyes.. If u try to close your eyes, affection turns
into a drop of tear and remains deep in your heart!goodnite!!

ƀI think your eyes are tired looking at this world reflecting through light,
Let your eye lashes hug each other for few hours.
Happy journey into the dream world.
Good Night
ƀHi Moon! Dim your light..
Hello Wind! Breeze soft..
Hi Flower! Blossom slowly..
Hello Earth! Spin gently.
Because my friend is going to sleep.
Good Night sweet dreams.

ƀThinGs 2 TaKeNoTeWheN u SleeP:

1st-MiSS Me
2nd-ThInk oF Me
3rd-HuG Me
4th-LoVE mE.
TrY 2 SlEEpNoW&
ClOSe Ur EyeS.
Get PrePaReD 2 DrEaMoFmE!
GdNiTe!

ƀTake it Light G,
Miss Me Slight G,
Never Do Fight G,
Have Fun Might G,
Eat Good Diet G,
Try Flying a Kite G,
Be Always Happy Right G,
& G0o0d Night G,

ƀOn this chill chill night,

in your dark dark room,
from your small small window,
look at the bright bright stars
wishing you a chweetchweet dreams

ƀ As The Day Turn into Night,

Keep Your Worries Out of Sight.
Close Your Eyes and Go To Sleep,
All The Good Times Are Yours To Keep.
Sweetest Dreams
&
GooDNighT

ƀNobody teaches Sun to rise,Fish to swim,birds to fly,Plant to grow,Child to cry,& Nobody

teaches a heart to choose a friend like U....Good Night...

ƀ You are the reason why I have sleepless nights,

You are the reason why I tend to hold my pillow tight.
You are the reason I cant sleep without saying Good Night«.

ƀLying on my Bed, Looking at The clock, I no that its time to zzz.

I wonder how have you been today« Hope Tat Every Thing is Fine..
Wish you sweet dreams and Sleep Tight!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
ƀNo matter the sky is black or blue,
No matter there´s stars or moon,
As long as your heart is true,
sweet dreams will always be with you.
Good Night.

ƀOnce the moon winks at u tonight,

I wish sweet dreams embrace you tight.
Hope your day was quite all right
& now I bid u a lovely goodnight

ƀIf you are awake, goodnight my sweet darling and if you just
woke up, good morning honey. Love you so much.

±

ƀQ. WHY DID SANTA SING TAKE OFF HIS CLOTHES WHILE WRITING EXAMS?

A. COZ IT WAS WRITTEN IN THE PAPER"ANSWER IN BRIEF.

ƀQ. WHAT IS THE HEIGHT OF LAZINESS?

A. A COUPLE ADOPTING A CHILD.

ƀQ. WHAT IS THE HEIGHT OF POSSESSIVENESS?

a. constiPATION.

ƀQ. WHAT DO YOU CALL A WOMAN WHO KNOWS WHERE HER HUSBAND IS
EVERY NIGHT?

A. WIDOW

ƀQ. WHY AMERICANS STOP PRINTING STAMPS WITH PHOTO OF PAMEELA

ANDERSON?

A. COZ PEOPLE STARTED LICKING THE WRONG SIDE OF IT FOR PASTING THEM
ON THE ENVELOPES.
ƀQ. WHAT DOES 98 STAND FOR IN WINDOWS 98?

A. IT STANDS FOR NUMBER OF TIMES IT HANGS IN A DAY.

ƀQ. WHY DID BANTA SINGH TAKE HIS PREGNANT WIFE TO PIZZA CORNER?

A. FOR FREE DELIVERY.

ƀQ. HOW WOULD YOU IDENTIFY BANTA SINGH IN A SUBMARINE?

A. HE WILL BE THE ONLY ONE WITH A PARACHUTE TIED TO HIS BACK.

ƀ q. what would you call a sardar with just one hair on his head?

a. iqbalsingh.

ƀQ. HOW TO MAKE TTK LAUGH ON SUNDAY?

A. BY TELLING HER A JOKE ON THURSDAY.

ONCE A NUN GOES FOR A URINE EXAMINATION AND THE SAMPLES GET
MIXED UP. the report indicates she is pregnant. WHEN SHE GETS THE REPORT, SHE
EXCLAIMS, "OH JESUS!! NOW WE CAN NOT EVEN RELY ON CANDLES"

ƀQ. WHAT DID BANTA SINGH SAY WHEN HE SAW A BANANA PEEL?

A. "OH! I AM GOING TO SLIP AGAIN.

ƀQ. WHICH IS THE SHORTEST JOKE?

A. SANTA SINGH AND BANTA SINGH PLAYING CHESS.

ƀQ. WHICH BROTHER OF KALIDAS MAKES SHOES?

A. ADIDAS

ƀWot's the best thing about babies ?

MAKING THEM !

ƀIf i guard you with my life,

Will u be my wife ?

ƀGirls are like roads,

More the curves,
More the dangerous they are.

ƀLove is Photogenic,
it needs darkness to develop.

ƀMessages are given to

Those who are apart
But what shall i give
When you are in my heart.

c
ƀForward to you friends and get funny reply¶s. . !
³imagine I am in jail
what you think that
What crime I had done´
Reply must. . .

ƀHusband & wife are like liver and kidney.

Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

ƀ Birds Birds in the sky dropped a pooty in my eye,

I don´t worry I don´t cry,
I´m just happy that cows can´t fly!

ƀIf I was an artist,

you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!

But I'm only a cartoonist!

ƀIt¶s very easy

to eat sweet chocolate,
speak sweet words,
watch sweet dreams
but
It¶s very difficult
to
find a sweet person.
but I salute you.
that you find me.

ƀ Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don't even have a bid car like rohit. But I really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit..

ƀWho said English is easy???

Fill in the blank with YES or No«
1.²±I dont have brain«
2.²±I dont have sence«
3.²±I am stupid«.

ƀDream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything
beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth

ƀWhat is similarity between Bill Gates and me?

Don¶t know??
He never comes to my house
and I never go to his house
EGO PROBLEMS YOU KNOW«

ƀDo u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?

Both don't exist.

ƀCan we do romance in the evening today?

I¶m in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon!
yours lovingly
³MOSQUITO´

ƀ A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie, Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for
me... But U have Crackjacked my Heart, Bcoz I have a Little Heart, Now I m in 50/50
position...

ƀTeacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.

Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far !!

ƀCommerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for
starting business?
Student: "Father in law".

ƀWorld ¶s shortest jokes:

2 Women sitting quietly!
2 pathan playing chess!
GirlFriend pays the bill.
Need more?!
U r so beautiful

ƀ An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I
can sit in society. What do you have?
Sweeper: I have the job.

ƀWife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?

Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

ƀCalendar of Love
January = Rose
February = Propose
March = Gift
April = Lift
May = Chatting
June = Dating
July = Miss
August = Kiss
September = Marriage
October = Broke up
November = Rest
December = Next
Have a nice year ahead.

ƀ Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is
the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.

ƀPower of Mathematics
One day a box wasn¶t opening.
Lawyer came, applied all laws but it didn¶t open
Chemist came, applied all reactions but it didn¶t open
Physician came, applied all forces but no change
Even the biologist failed
mathematician came & said
.
.
.
Let¶s Suppose the Box is Open

ƀMan: Among my 4 sons 3 are engineer.

Friend: 4th?
Man: He didn¶t study & became a barber.
Friend: Why don¶t you throw him out?
Man: He is the only 1 who earns.

ƀ Always start your day with a lot of S E X

S-mile
E-nergy
X-citement
so make SEX a daily habit, &u'll always be SMILING!

ƀQ: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."

ƀIn the corridor of a government office

was a sign board reading
³Don¶t make any noise.´
Someone added the following words
³Otherwise, we might wake up´

ƀSeveral women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where
they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The
case was closed for lack of evidence.

ƀGetting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.

You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had
ordered that.

ƀ A boy came running in the kitchen,

Boy:Dad, There is an ugly monster at the door
Dad(Looking at his wife):
Tell him we have already got one!

ƀGood news! A new way to send Romantic kiss to your girlfriend. Just call me and order
your kiss. I will personally go and deliver it.

ƀMon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never
changed. For me, you've always been a headache!

ƀMaths teacher asked JOHNY

³If u have 12 chocalate and u give 5 to DONA,
3 to ALICE and 4 to ROMA then wat will u get ?
JOHNY replied ³Sir! 3 new girl friends´.

ƀIt's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must
never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.

ƀGuide: I welcome you all to Niagara Falls.

These are the world¶s largest waterfalls
and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high,
even 20 supersonic planes passing by can¶t be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite
so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?

ƀThere is a sign in the toilet of the sex change clinic. It reads: We may never piss this way
again.

ƀ A chines couple,
Mr Hua& Mrs Hua
got twin babies after marriage.
They named them, Jo-Hua , So-Hua.
Next year they got one more baby.
They named Ye-Kia-Hua

ƀGal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?

Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.

ƀ Announcement in a university:
³Will the students who parked on the driveway, please move their cars«´
20 minutes later:
³Will the 200 students who went to move 9 cars please return to their respective classes«´

ƀHey friend remember that

without stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty
so the world needs YOU after all!

ƀPolice arrested a drunkard & asked:

Where are you going?
Man: I¶m going to listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.
Cop: Who¶ll lecture at midnight ??
Man: My wife«

ƀDo u remember the day we travelled in a car?

I put my dog out of the window,
u put ur face out,
then people started shouting
TWINS TWINS

ƀ A boy of 1st class to her teacher.

Do you like me?
Miss.So sweet.
Student: When should I sent my parents to your home?
Miss. Why?
Student: To talk about us.
Miss: What are you saying?
Student: For tuition.

ƀ Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:

³can kids of our age have kids?´

Teacher replied ´ NO Never!!´

Boy said to girl :

³see i told you not to worry!!!!´.

ƀ A baby mosquito came back after its 1st fight.

Dad asked: how did u feel?
He replied: Dad it was wonderful.
Everyone was clapping for me
Moral: Take everything positively

ƀFather: Your teacher says she finds it

Impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That¶s why I say she¶s no good!

ƀ Are you idiot?

Why you keep sending me SMS?
Who gave my number to you?
Never message me again.
Did I ever said that.
Than why don¶t you sending SMS.

ƀWhat is the difference between

Monkey &Donkey ?
Monkey saves this message
&
Donkey deletes this message.

Choice is urs««..:p

ƀage of drinks;
1 to 3 milk
3 to 8 cerelac
9 to 13 horlicks
14 to 25 bear
26 to 40 whisky
41 to 60 tonic
after 60 anytime
³GANGA JAL

ƀQ- What is the height of CONFIDENCE?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ans- A 99 years old woman buying a SIM card with LIFE-TIME validity.

ƀWho walks with us

through the difficult part of life?
Mon Dad?
No!
Husband Wife?
No!
Friends?
No!
One and only our slippers!!!!
So keep them safe

ƀLOVE V/S EXAM

LOVE: lots of thoughts in mind but no guts to express
EXAMS: lots of guts to express but no thoughts in mind

ƀOne frog asked Astrologer: Please tell my future

Astrologer: A smart girl will touch you.
Frog: Great..! But when & where?
Astrologer: next semester in Zoology lab

ƀ A foreigner had very spicy Indian dinner.

Next morning he came out of the toilet & said,
now i understand Why indian use water.
Tissue Can catch fire«

ƀPatient: Please don¶t give me the injection.

I¶m afraid of it¶s pain.
Doctor: Don¶t worry!!
I¶ll inject you first that kills the pain!!!!
ƀSon: The girl of our neighbors
don¶t understand English.
Father: How do you know?
Son: I said to her ³Give Me Sweet Kiss´
and she slapped me.

ƀFunny Definitions
Home: A place where you can scratch where it itches.
Doctor: A person who cures the ills by pills, and kills by his bills.
Love: Loss Of Valuable Energy
Wife: Worries Invited For Ever

ƀMr.Bean got an Invitation for a Party,

They told him that he must put BROWN TIE only.
When he went to party he was shocked?
other were wearing pants & shirts also«

ƀ A typical student flips a coin and think.

If Head- will go to sleep.
If Tail- will watch a move.
If Stands- will listen music.
If Stays in air- will study

ƀHe+She= Love.
He+She+Love=Marriage.
He+She+Love+Marriage=Child.
He+She+Love+Marriage+Child=Family.
AND
He+She+Love+Marriage+Child+ Family=Problem.
So my dear friend
Be careful.

ƀHi all,
Let get stupid and Celeberate Miss call day
Send dis msg to urfrnds n get misbels in reply.
But reply me 1st

ƀ A student wrote a letter

to his father from hostel:
Dear dad«!
No money,No fun.
Your son!
His father replied:
Dear son!
So sad,Very bad
Your dad!
V
V

c

ƀWe will now upgrade your brain, please wait....Searching....searching...still
searching....sorry,NO BRAIN found...!

ƀI'M AN ALIEN. I HAVE JUST TRANSFORMED MYSELF INTO THIS TEST. AS

YOU ARE READING I'M HAVING SEX WITH YOUR EYEBALLS. I KNOW THAT
YOU LIKE IT BECAUSE YOU ARE SMILING

ƀAll the love that history knows is said to be in every rose!Yet all the love that could be
found in two, is less than what I feel for you.

ƀIf you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

ƀWhen a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a
man, it's $3.95 per minute.

ƀOut of my mind.Back in five minutes.

ƀBorn Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.

ƀConserve toilet paper, use both sides.

ƀI get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

ƀSorry, I don't date outside my species.

ƀHard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

ƀFirst the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.

ƀAlways remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

ƀDad, what vagina looks like? Before sex: a pink rose with soft lovely pelats and perfum
aroma. And after sex?boy, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise!

ƀKiss my ass, and do it fast,suck my dick and do it quick.

ƀBad sex is better then a good day in school.

ƀNever let a man's mind wander, it's too little to be out on it's own!!!!
ƀSex is like programing; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE«

ƀTheir are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could just
pluck them from your dreams......

ƀMy girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too...

ƀHi, do you want to have my children? No.?? ...Okay, then can we just practice?

ƀI took an IQ test and the results were negative.

ƀJesus loves you... everyone else thinks your an asshole«

ƀIf you wanna be a hipi, put you flower in your pipi«

ƀDon`t drink water, because fish fuck in it!

ƀHi! Please stand by while this program enlarges your penis...........................ERROR: Your
penis was not found! Sorry..............

ƀNever let a man's mind wander, it's too little to be out on it's own!!!!

ƀIt is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.

ƀNews: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing
football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

ƀGod made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

ƀThe longest sentence known to man: "I do."

ƀCNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting
further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

ƀCrime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?

ƀThis dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog,
for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

ƀWhy were males created before females?

Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.

ƀI want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in
my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!

ƀALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

ƀDon't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean
it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.
ƀDo you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and
everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

ƀQ:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

A:About 45 pounds!!

ƀQ: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

ƀI think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...

ƀThere was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she
found out she was 6 months pregnant.

ƀWhat did the elephant say to the naked man?

How do you breathe through that thing?

ƀWhat happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?

Popeye beat the crap outta him.

ƀI've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

ƀA 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

ƀBoss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-
sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.

ƀWhat's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?

If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.

ƀAim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

ƀTwo goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

ƀWhat is the difference between a woman and a magnet?

Magnets have a positive side!

ƀThe probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

ƀQ: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?

ƀWOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

ƀWhat do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.

ƀWhy was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?

Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.

ƀWhy did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh!

ƀWhat do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

You don't, you've told her twice already!

ƀWhat's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?

One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors

ƀQ: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

A: Her IQ goes up.

ƀJesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!

ƀAny woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a
little too high.

ƀI'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come
back for a day and a half.

ƀI like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.

ƀHow many men do you need for a mafia funeral?

Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

ƀFor sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.

ƀWhat do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.

ƀWhats the definitoin of suspicion?A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.

ƀWhy doesn't Jesus eat M and M's? Cos they fall through his hands.

ƀWhits pink, wrinkled and hangs ootyer trousers??? Yer Gran!

ƀWhat are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!

ƀWhat do you get when you cross ESP with PMS?A bitch who knows everything.

ƀHow do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.

ƀQ: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?

A: We don't know. Never happens.

ƀQ: Why was the leper caught speeding?

A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.

ƀQ: What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore?

A: An f****ing know it all.

ƀ A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender
says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

ƀ Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.

ƀ I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?

ƀIf I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

ƀ Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.

ƀ What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool...

ƀI can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good
either.

ƀ It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

ƀ I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

ƀ Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.

ƀ You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

ƀ I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

ƀ My Reality Check bounced.

ƀ Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

ƀ Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.

ƀ Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away!

ƀVery funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.

ƀDo chickens think rubber humans are funny?

ƀThere cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

ƀBorrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back

ƀAs a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing

ƀNothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

ƀWhat do you call a handcuffed man?

- Trustworthy.

ƀWhat's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing
plant

ƀQ: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

ƀA: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

ƀWhy don't men often show their true feelings?

- Because they don't have any. 1

ƀWhat's the difference between a man and E.T.?

- E.T. phoned home.

ƀWhat is the thinnest book in the world?

What Men Know About Women.

ƀA successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

ƀMarriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering

ƀHow Dogs and Women are alike.....

Neither believe that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
Both put too much value on kissing.

ƀMarriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

ƀIf you jogged backward ... would you gain weight?

ƀDid you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at pet stores?
"101 Ways to Wok Your Dog"

ƀIf you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?

ƀDid you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs spend
their lives.

ƀI'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.

ƀI only use de-oudourant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled of.

ƀDid you hear about the idiot who walked around the world? He drowned.

ƀA woman walked into a fancy cocktail bar and asked the barman for a "double entendre" -
so he gave her one!

ƀFour fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in
here"

ƀA priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

ƀA sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

ƀA dyslexic man walks into a bra

ƀA man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please, and one
for the road."

ƀA three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and
announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

ƀDid you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal
work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

ƀI met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but
unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

ƀTwo Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,
proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

ƀNews: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv..another playing
football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

ƀGod made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

ƀThe longest sentence known to man: "I do."

ƀCNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting
further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

ƀCrime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?

ƀThis dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog,
for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

ƀWhy were males created before females?

Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
ƀI want to suck you..lick you.. wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my
mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!

ƀALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

ƀDon't spend £2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean
it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.

ƀDo you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and
everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

ƀQ:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

A:About 45 pounds!!

ƀQ: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

ƀI think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...

ƀThere was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she
found out she was 6 months pregnant.

ƀWhat did the elephant say to the naked man?

How do you breathe through that thing?

ƀWhat happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?

Popeye beat the crap outta him.

ƀI've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

ƀA 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

ƀBoss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-
sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.

ƀWhat's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?

If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.

ƀAim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

ƀTwo goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

ƀWhat is the difference between a woman and a magnet?

Magnets have a positive side!

ƀThe probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
ƀQ: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?

ƀWOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

ƀWhat do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?

The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.

ƀWhy was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?

Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.

ƀWhat do Germans use for birth control?

Their personalities!

ƀWhy did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh!

ƀWhat do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

You don't, you've told her twice already!

ƀWhat's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?

One fucked the miners, the other fucked the Majors

ƀQ: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?

A: Her IQ goes up.

ƀJesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!

ƀAny woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a
little too high.

ƀI'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come
back for a day and a half.

ƀWhat do you get if you cross an Irishman with a German?

A man who's too drunk to follow orders.

ƀI like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.

ƀHow many men do you need for a mafia funeral?

Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

ƀFor sale : Air Bags, Used once.

ƀWhat do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.

ƀWhat's the definition of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.

ƀWhy doesn't Jesus eat M and M's? Cos they fall through his hands.

ƀWhat's pink, wrinkled and hangs ootyer trousers??? Yer Gran!

ƀWhat are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!

What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A bitch who knows everything.

ƀHow do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.

ƀQ: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?

A: We don't know. Never happens.

ƀQ: Why was the leper caught speeding?

A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.

ƀQ: What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore?

A: An fucking know it all.

ƀA chicken sandwich walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says:
"Sorry, we don't serve food here".

ƀBecause people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

ƀWhy do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.

ƀI've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?

ƀIf I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

ƀWhy'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.

ƀWhat did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool...

ƀQ: How did the Pollack burn his face?

A: Bobbing for french fries.

ƀQ: What's difference between Yogurt and Australia?

A: One has a real live culture.

ƀQ: What's diff between Michael Jackson and grocery bag?

A: Ones white, made outta plastic and dangerous for kids to play with. The other you carry
groceries in.
ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
Fanny.
Fanny who?
Fanny the way you keep saying 'Who's there? Every time I knock.

ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's There?
A midget who cant reach the doorbell.

ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and let me in!

ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
Harry, Butch, and Jimmy.
Harry, Butch and Jimmy who?
Harry up, Butch your arms around me, and Jimmy a kiss.

ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive across the road.

ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
Mummy.
Mummy who?
Mummeasles are better so can I come in?

ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
There's no need to cry, it's only a joke.

ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam key broke in the lock.

ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I called by?

ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you.

ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
Mister.
Mister who?
Mister last bus home.

ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
Ivor.
Ivor who?
Ivor sore hand from knocking so much.

ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
York.
York who?
York coming over to my place tonight?

ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
Isabel.
Isabel who?
Isabel broken? I had to knock.

ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here.

ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
Grandma. Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Grandma. Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Grandma. Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Aunt.
Aunt who?
Aunt you glad Grandma's gone?
ƀKnock! Knock!
Who's there?
Doris.
Doris who?
Doris locked - that's why I knocked.

ƀfriendship is like peeing in your pants. every1 can c it but only u can feel its true
warmth.thank u 4 being the pee in my pants xxxx

ƀ(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired
arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!

ƀHe met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading. Since he was
virus free he slotted his floppydisk into her hotmail she screamed yahoo!

ƀToday its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small
penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!

ƀViagra now available in eye drops, you don't get an erection but you look hard!

ƀT-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u.We
regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u.not even a network

ƀI only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving.

Tuesday.Thursday.Today.Tomorrow.Thaturday.thunday.. Tevery day!

c 
ƀ20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching
television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand

ƀ A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in
the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.
ƀ Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!

ƀ At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have
forgotten this before.

ƀ Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

ƀ Be nice to the ones who smoke..every cigarette migh be their last.

ƀ BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight!
If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!

ƀ Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy
that a cow can't fly!!

ƀ Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip

of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.

ƀDid I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish
bag after all! .

ƀDo not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .

ƀDon't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !

ƀE man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item
that she does not need.

ƀExcessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.

ƀFor you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?"

ƀGod created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God
makes mistakes!
ƀGod created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and
beautiful. God also created woman and thought : µI hope she will make herself up¶!

ƀHALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your
pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!

ƀHello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find
a brain.

ƀHello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised.
My apologies on behalf of the whole world..

ƀHow would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?

ƀI am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for
nothing!

ƀI am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T

ƀI am not your type ... I am not inflatable.

ƀI know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...

ƀI like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really
perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!

ƀI once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...

ƀIf being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.

ƀIf you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you
have not changed a bit.

ƀIf you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.
ƀIk would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!

ƀIn case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU
FUCKING IDIOT!!

ƀIt is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed
and it knows one French word ... MOI!!

ƀLove me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???

ƀMobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for
everything ... dial my number!

ƀMy feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."

ƀMy mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...

ƀNice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?

ƀOne out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not
Chinese, it must be you.

ƀOpticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your
ears are in the wrong place.

ƀRead in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed

ƀroses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????

ƀroses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't...

ƀScientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have
difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................
ƀSmoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!

ƀThe more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I
forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??

ƀThe one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood !

ƀThey dropped your name, can you pick it up ?

ƀThis cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,
20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

ƀThis is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated.
This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless
you are ugly.

ƀThis is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and
do certainly not miss the job adds."

ƀThis sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not
sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!

ƀThose beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile ....but
that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

ƀWe cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do
not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."

ƀWe will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still

searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!

ƀWhat he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not
allowed!

ƀWhen I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!
ƀ You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with
their accident insurance.

ƀ You are never too blond to learn !!!

ƀ You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell
got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number

ƀ You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are
those who think that they are doing things.

ƀ You should know what it takes to look this cheap!

ƀ You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise
even the dog would not play with you

ƀ You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it
or thinking about it?

ƀ You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o,
sorry, wrong number

ƀ You¶d better not be a dayfly and not having your day.

ƀ Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the
shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!

ƀIt's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in
the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

ƀ A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted
glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

ƀi tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me
an arm and a leg!

ƀHey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'mplayin cards n i'mmissin the
joker!!
ƀHey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness
there can be no beauty« so the world needs YOU after all!

ƀJesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

ƀ A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went
over. Nobody was home

ƀ At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking
coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

ƀThe rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things
beautiful why doesn¶t it rain on you?

ƀi want u 2 knowdat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.Ulauf i lauf.U jump out of
da window... I look down & den... i lauf again


ƀSex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a woman's
destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration?
ƀHi, I am an alien and I've just transformed into your phone and right now I'm having sex
with your finger. I know you like it, because you're smiling now!!
ƀMean people suck, Nice people swallow! !
ƀA peach is a peach, A plum is a plum, A kiss ain't a kiss, without some tounge. So open
up your mouth, and close your eyes, and give your tounge Some exercise!
ƀCONFICIUS SAY: BOY WHO GO TO SLEEP WITH STIFF PROBLEM WAKE UP
WITH SOLUTION IN HAND.
ƀLove is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!
ƀHumpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings
horses & all the kings men, laid the slut down & fucked her again!
ƀSex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just for fun or getting paid everyone loves
getting laid.u'll get laid.
ƀKiss me and you will see stars; Love me and I will give them to you.
ƀA guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play magic? She asks: What do you mean? He
says: We go to my place, have sex and than you disappear!
ƀLove is a thing, sex is also a thing.
ƀBEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex
tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!
ƀRoses are red, Pickles are green. I love your legs and whats in between.
ƀI like your style. I like your class, but most of all i like your ass.
ƀSex is like NOKIA (connecting people) like NIKE (just do it) like PEPSI (ask for more)
like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited) and like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)..
ƀI love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed.
ƀHow does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a
Bulldog eating Mayonaise?
ƀIf you want a little brother,
kill your dad and fuck your mother.
ƀSex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good
ƀSorry, the fuckmachine is out of order, so fuck yourself and save a quarter.
ƀFuck is good. Fuck is funny. Lots of people. Fuck for money. If you think that. Fuck is
funny. Fuck yourself and save your money!
ƀSex is like Math, Add the Bed, Subtract the Clothes, Divide the Legs and Multiply!
ƀI want you to ride me like a pony! Hiyaaaaaa«
ƀDon't be silly, put a condom on your willy.
ƀSearching(sex)...... Done... Iedereen is op dit moment met SEX bezig. ...Wait a sec plz...
Maar er is eenzotzonder sex ditkloteberichtaan het lezen!
ƀSex, drugs & rock n roll, speed weed & birth control, life's a bitch, then u die, so fuck the
world & lets get high!
ƀThis program will automatically enlarge your penis. Now starting...beep 6 5 4 3.....beep 2
1....Sorry no penis found!
ƀDo you want to have sex with me? For $50! Please please please....I really need the
money!
ƀSex is good,sex is funny, all the people fuck for money! If you think love is funny, fuck
yourself and safe the money!
ƀSex is like Nike, just do it.
ƀMasturbation, don't knock it, it's sex with someone I love...
ƀNeukeenwijf in drkont, stamp die anus tot zekomt.Smijt je benen in de lucht, laat je
pijpen in eenvlucht. Krab de shit van je paal, anaalneuken is geniaal!
ƀProgramming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
ƀIf you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!
ƀPress down......down more......ok......more......yes......ahh.......yes......almost
there......yeah......oh shit......harder......so good! Yeah, that's textual intercourse!
ƀSex is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ......Lets PLAY the game.
ƀI want you right, right now, why don't you come on over and let's do now!

ƀI'm a bit shy...I'd like to have sex with you, you do not have to say yes, just smile to me!

ƀI think I have BSE on my penis ...... all women who experienced it go crazy !

ƀEva stood in the river washing her cunt when God comes running to her and shouts: EVA
EVA STOP, I WON'T GET THE SMELL OF THE FISH.

ƀDo you know why a waterbed needs to be filled with seawater?...For the mussels need to
be able to open.

ƀScrew calmly and without worries, if you do not come today, it may happen tomorrow !

ƀWomen are like little children, they put everything they see in their mouth.

ƀThe boy puts his information in her communication and together they make population!

ƀWhat is the resemblance between a windscreen wiper and a woman? ... When they are
wet, they do not squeak any more!

ƀThe first day we met,I wanted you in my bed.Today I'll know better,so I'll write it in my
letter.In my bed I've seen so many faces,so I'll fuck you at different places

ƀSex is good,sex is funny, all the people fuck for money!If you think love is funny, fuck
yourself and safe the money!!!

ƀWhat is de maximum speed during sex? .... 68, because at 69 you go overturn!
ƀ A good neighbour is better dan an inflatable doll !

ƀGod created the world in SIX days But it took him centuries... to come up with
someone...as "HOT" ... as "SEXY" ... as "Fuckable" ... *..As "YOU!" .. *

ƀText messaging is like a blow-job off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always
cheap!!!

ƀWhat is the smallest airplane in the world,a cunt... Only one man fits in it, he needs to
stand, his luggage stays outside and he still gets off ...

ƀ Are mice giving you trouble? No? Than you must have a good pussy!

ƀ Are these your eyes? I found them between my brests!

ƀSex is like Nike, just do it.

ƀNever dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music
stops.

ƀHow does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a
Bulldog eating Mayonaise??

ƀWhen I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to
remember what I did choose.

ƀMasturbation, don't knock it, it's sex with someone I love...

ƀDo you know why smurfs always laugh? Because the grass always tickles their little balls!

ƀWhat is the difference between a man and a dildo?......... A man is a REAL PRICK!!!!

ƀProgramming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
ƀThe best anti-virus program for a computer is SAFE-SEX.
Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.

ƀIf you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!

ƀSex is good for your stomach muscles and much more fun than fitness

ƀThe difference between erotic and perverted:

Erotic = caress the vagina with a beautiful white whisp
Perverted = do the same thing with a whole chicken.

ƀ A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? .....He
says: We go to my place, have sex and than you dissappear.....

ƀWhat did Eva shout when she wanted to have SEX ?? ............. ADAM WHERE ARE
YOU !!

ƀ you do not have to be good to be the best as long as you are better than all the rest!!

ƀWhat does position 68 mean........You are doing me and I owe you one!!

ƀLove your neighbour, but don't get caught.

ƀ A peach is a peach,a plum is a plum,A kiss ain't a kiss without some tongue.So open up
your mouth and close you eyes and give your tongue some exercises!!

ƀJust to let you know that I went to heaven and back...

ƀWhat you never want to hear while having good sex?? ............. "Honey, I am home!"

ƀThere is: Hot-Sex, Fast-Sex, Safe-Sex, Group-Sex, Leather-Sex, Telephone-Sex, Cyber-

Sex, and for people with your face: "No-Sex"!
ƀWhy does a woman have two pair of lips?................... One is for fighting and one is to
make up.

ƀWhat is the resemblance between a woman and a condom?................ They both fit around
your dick and are present in your wallet

ƀIf you cry, I cry...if you laugh, I laugh...if you are happy, I am too...if you are sad, I am
too...and if you are horny, call me.

ƀ American students say:.....people who never experience good sex and do not perform well
in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand

ƀsex is like nokia (connecting people) like nike (just do it) like pepsi (ask for more) and like
samsung (everybody is invited)

ƀ A woman is like a pair of rubber boots. When they are dry, you cannot enter them, when
they are wet, they smell and when you walk on the street with them, people laugh at you.

ƀZwaaiuwtieten in het rond, schuur je clitoris op de grond, stop 4 vingers in je kut, ram die
kittelaar tot frut, bevredig je met eengans, dit is de mastrubatiedans.

ƀPress down......down more......ok......more......yes......ahh......ohh......yes......almost

there......yeah......oh shit......harder......so good!
mmmm ......................That's how we sex on text.

ƀMessage from you provider: Your dildo is disturbing our network. Turn it off or continue
manually. Thanks for your cooperation.

ƀThe 3 miracles of a woman: produce milk without eating grass, 4 days of bleeding without
dieing, letting a man come without yelling.

ƀHi, I am an alien and I've just transformed in your phone and right now I'm having sex
with your finger. I know you like it because you're smiling now!!
ƀI do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as
strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!

ƀDo you know the highest level you can reach during sex? .................................
no?...................................... Bungler !

ƀ By opening this message you activated the dildo of your girlfriend. She thanks you
moaning...You have now become unnecessary.

ƀPornography tells lies about women, but the truth about men.

ƀRoses are red ... Pickles are green ... I love your legs and whats in between

ƀSearching(sex)......Done...Everybody is having sex at this very moment....Wait a

sec...There is only one sucker reading this message!

ƀSex is a sensation caused by temptation,when a man puts his location in a woman's

destination,do U understand the explination or would U like a demonstration

ƀSEX is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ......Lets PLAY the game.

°


1.V The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no
hard feelings.
2.V Nothing improves with age.
3.V No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be
quite the same again.
4.V Sex has no calories.
5.V Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6.V There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7.V Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
8.V No sex with anyone in the same office.
9.V Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long
it is going to last.
10.VA man in the house is worth two in the street.
11.VIf you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12.VVirginity can be cured.
13.VWhen a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14.VNever sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15.VThe qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't
stand years later.
16.VSex is dirty only if it's done right.
17.VIt is always the wrong time of month.
18.VThe best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19.VWhen the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20.VSex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
21.VSow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
22.VThe younger the better.
23.VThe game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
24.VIt was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in
the garden.
25.VSex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
26.VBefore you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
27.VThere may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there
is nothing exactly like it.
28.VLove your neighbor, but don't get caught.
29.VLove is a hole in the heart.
30.VIf the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space
program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
31.VLove is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
32.VDo it only with the best.
33.VSex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey
its full meaning.
34.VOne good turn gets most of the blankets.
35.VYou cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
36.VLove is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
37.VIt is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
38.VThou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
39.VNever lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
40.VAbstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
41.VNever argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
42.VA woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
43.VWhat matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
44.VIt is better to be looked over than overlooked.
45.VNever say no.
46.VA man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
47.VFolks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
48.VBeauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
49.VNever stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
50.VA man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
51.VLove comes in spurts.
52.VThe world does not revolve on an axis.
53.VSex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
54.VSmile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
55.VDon't do it if you can't keep it up.
56.VThere is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
57.VNever go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
58.VLove is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
59.V"This won't hurt, I promise."
V

  

ƀTwo Sardar stopped suddenly.
1st Sardar: OMG! My wife and my girlfriend coming together.
2nd Sardar: Mine too.

ƀ A sardar goes to a restaurant

and his cell phone rings.
Wife: How are you?

Surprised Sardarji:Oji I am fine but

how did you know where I was?

ƀHow do you recognize a Sardar in School?

He is the one who erases the notes from
the book when the teacher erases the board.

ƀSardarji to others:
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?
One said, Yes I did
Sardar: Well, it¶s your lucky day,
I found the rubberband!

ƀ A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant

and puts his finger
on the last of menu: Bring this.

Waiter: Oh! you can¶t get it

because he is the owner of restaurant.

ƀ A small 2 seater plane was crashed in graveyard.

A Sardar was investigation officer.
In report he said:
500 dead bodies are found
and digging for rest.
ƀSardar at an Art Gallery:
I suppose this horrible looking thing is
what you call modern art ?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

ƀInterviewer: Where were you born?

Sardar: Punjab.
Interviewer: Which part?
Sardar: What which part, whole body was born in Punjab. ³;-)

ƀSardar¶s wish : when i die,

I wanna die like my grandpa
who died peacefully in his sleep
not screaming
like all the passengers in the
car he was driving..

ƀSardar and Pathan going somewhere together.

They found 1000 Rs. on the way.
Pathan: Let¶s take 50/50.
Sardar: What will do of remaining 900?

ƀSardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.

Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar:
³Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.´

ƀ A Sardar and his wife filed an application for divorce.

Judge asked: How will you divide?
You have 3 children.
Sardar replied: OK! We will apply next year.

ƀNURSE kept SARDAR¶S FINGER in HER MOUTH

after BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
NURSE:y r u DANCING.
SARDAR:next is URINE TEST

ƀWaiter gives bill to Sardar

Sardar: Take my card.
Waiter: But sir, this is Ration Card.
Sardar: So what?
You have written outside
³ALL CARDS ACCEPTED´
ƀSardar told his servant:
Go and water the plants. Servant
it¶s already raining. Sardar: So what?
Take an umbrella and go.

ƀJudge: Why are you arrested?

Sardar: For shopping early?
Judge: Well, thats not a crime, anyway how early you were shopping?
Sardar: before opening the shop«,

ƀSardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife.

Two seconds later a report came
to his phone and he started dancing.
The report said, ³DELIVERED´.

ƀInterviewer: Congrats, you are selected.

Your 1st month salary is Rs: 6000.
Next month salary will be 10000.
Sardar: Ok sir, I¶ll Join next month.

ƀSardar proposed a girl««

Girl said am 1 yr elder to u««.
Sardar said Oye no problem
soniye I¶ll marry u next year.

ƀSardar on phone: Doctor my wife is pregnant.

She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking.

ƀ2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.

Sardar1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Don¶t worry, I have a one more.

ƀHow do you sink a submarine

filled with sardars..?
.
.
.
.
Just knock the door.

ƀ Astrologer: you must married only 32 years old women to start a happy life.
sardar: shall I married two 16 years old girls

ƀOn a romantic day sardar¶s girlfriend asks him,

³Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring?´
Sardar : ³Ya sure, from landline or mobile´.
ƀ As train start running,
a sardar got the train.
TT: Don¶t you see it¶s female bogie?
Sardar: Sorry, I thought you were a man.

ƀDoctor to sardar : You will die within 2 hours.

Do you want to see any one before you die?
Sardar : Yes. A good doctor.

ƀSardar: Will you marry me?

Girl: Sorry I am a lesbian.
Sardar: What¶s a lesbian?
Girl: I like to sleep with girls.
Sardar: Give me a hand« I am also lesbian

ƀSardar was busy removing

a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are
you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board.
Parking is only for 2 wheeler

ƀSardar had twins. He named Tara &Sitara.

Again twins, He named Peter & Repeater.
Again twins, He named Max & Climax.
Again twins, finally He named STOP &FULLSTOp:-)

ƀSardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked ³what you did till evening?´
Sardar :´Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright´

ƀTeacher: ³I killed a person´

convert this sentence into future tense
Sardar: The future tense is ³You will go to jail´

ƀSardar comes back to his car

&
find a note saying µParking Fine¶
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole
µThanks for compliment.¶

ƀSardar complained to the police: µSir, all items are missing,

except the TV in my house.¶
Police: µHow the thief did not take TV?¶
Ah Beng : µI was watching TV news«¶

ƀSardar got into a bus on 1st April

when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/-
and took the ticket and said april fool.
I have pass.

ƀSardar: I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.

Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Sardar: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

ƀSardar bought a new mobile.

He sent a message to everyone
from his Phone Book & said,
My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610

ƀ A sardarji photographer is focusing

a dead body¶s face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him.
why? He said ³SMILE PLEASE´

ƀSardar was giving his medical entrance exam

He gave definitions as follows:
Antibody:
Against everybody
Artery:
Study of fine art paintings
Cardiology:
Advanced study of playing cards
CT scan:
Scanning 4 lost whistle..
Coma:
Punctuation mark
Bacteria:
Back door to a cafeteria«

ƀSardar sent SMS to his BOSS:

³Me sick, no work´
Boss SMS back:
³When I am sick I kiss my wife try it´
2 hours later sardarsms 2 boss:
³Me ok, ur wife very sweet´

ƀ A sardar goes to an electronics shop to buy a TV.

Do you have color TVs?
Sure.
Give me a green one, please.

ƀPolice:Instead of hospital why did u take ur wife to COMEDY MOVIE during pregnancy
Sardar: ALL the child were crying when they born
I want my child to laugh so i take my wife TO CINEMA
ƀTeacher: What is tha difference between orange & apple?
Sardar: The color of orange is orange but the color of apple is not apple.

ƀ A bird was disturbing to a Sardar.

Finally Sardar caught it and decided to kill it cruelly,
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it

ƀ Boss asked Sardar

to buy two corner tickets for a movie
to watch with his Girlfriend.
Sardar bought two corner tickets:
A1«««««.A25

ƀ A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.

He writes a love letter to the Nurse :-
I Love You sister«.

ƀSardar was writing something very slowly.

Friend asked: Why are you writing so slowly?
Sardar: Im writing to my 6 years old son,
he cant read very fast.

ƀTeacher: How Do You Differentiate

³WIFE´ & ³MOTHER´

ƀSARDAR:
Before Marriage We Sleep With ³MOTHER´
&
After Marriage
We Sleep With Our ³WIFE

ƀSardar As A Director:
You Have To Jump In The Swimming Pool From 100.ft Height.
Hero: I Don¶t Know Swimming
Sardar: Oye Don¶t Worry Yaar! Pool Is Empty;-)

ƀTeacher told all students

in a class to write an essay
on a cricket match.

All were busy writing except one Sardarji.

He wrote No match, due to rain!!!

ƀSardar: µDoctor, my son swallowed a key.¶

Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 months ago.
Doctor: What were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key.
Doctor: So why have u come today?
Sardar: We ve lost the duplicate key !!!

ƀProfessor:Chemical symbol of Barium?

Sardar: BA

Professor:For sodium?
Sardar: NA

Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA

& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Sardar: BANANA

ƀSardar in airoplane going to Bombay.

While its landing he shouted:
³Bombay «.Bombay´
Airhostess said: ³B silent.´
Sardar: ³Ok« Ombay« Ombay´

ƀSardar saw a very high Airtel Tower

& red light glowing on the top,
seeing this he said India is developing fast,
see there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air

ƀTeacher: What happen on 1869?

Sardar: I don¶t know.
Teacher: Stupid its birthday of Gandhi G.
Now tell me what happen on 1873?
Sardar: Its 4th birthday of Gandhi G:-)

ƀIn bio practical:

Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it¶s legs only?
Sardar:I don¶t know.
Examiner:You failed, what¶s your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my name

ƀSardar after interview

everything went fine till the time
he asked me for testimonials.
I guess i showed him the wrong thing !!!
V