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    5 views4 pages

    The Rise of Prof Atwater

    Uploaded by

    alcofribass

    Copyright:

    Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
    Download as PDF or read online from Scribd
    Flag for inappropriate content
    of 4
    2 UNDER A THATCHED ROOF iayous stceam of cars going the ocher way._T'm dane fot ex ‘aimed Harvey McGinnis with e grim laugh and ie was tue be wae. ‘only he had noe thumbed his nose atofcer Teasdale bat ‘mules thinking of thar now he had and che resule was chat hie gor ten years as Teasdale had promised. When he comes ove ‘of eee’ prison in x94 I expect he'd be pretty mad ife knew thas he owed his long confinement to a neighbourhood drug ‘ise anmed Amos Poorbaugh of Waterloo Towra. “A question now tses in one's mind should Me. Poorbaugh ‘of should he not have stopped forthe chickeas? Or ro po ic fm another way are here of ae there ot now 0 many cats in the Unieed Seates chat we cannoc afford «co delay trac for reasons of humanity even chough we do help to catch 8 boot eager now and ten? however these are questions I shall leave ny readers eo decide for themes. "Taman was » professor imed Sheemen D. Avwater Ph.D. who sas head of the Greek depasement nt a state university I've Forgotten which one. They had eleven thousand students ac the university and the president said he confidently expected exe year’s enrollment would be well above the fiftem-chou- and mack. Noc many seudent knew about Profesor Aewarer because they were neal all enzoled in che College of Basic nis Administration 20 they dida'e have co seady Greek and they ehoughe Plato was the aame of 2 brand of silvervare. Doctor Atwater hd only chr seudeats one in advanced and ‘ovo in begianes’ Greek: and the erastecs must have forgotten ‘hous him because his slacy was stil ewelve hundred dollars 1 year just what ic had been eweacy years before and as his wife was an invalid what with doccon’ bills and all led « Ihe time making both ends meee in fat chey hadn't mee ia guite a long time. ‘Doctor Anwater had a frend sac Moses who was Profseor ‘of Biblical History ar the universicy his salary was only one thoosand dollars, but he seemed olive very camforeaby on ic alshough he had six children his mother in-law and 2 maiden tnt t0 provide for. One day Professor Acwacer sad to him Ihaw do you manage to live so well on your ealary Moses? T havea very hard time trying to live on mine. Oh I don't live (0€ my salary Professor Moses replied. I suppose you have a paivate income said Doctor Atwater. No haven'e an income sid Moses. Well I wish you would cell me hov you manege then said Doctor Aewaver and Professor Moses suid T suppose you're heard about the chanifeur®' school in the naiversicy ‘the one hey call ehe College of Amsomotivation? No I can say Lhave ssid Doctor Atwaver the university hae growa 20 ‘hae I cane keep track of all che departments. Well these is ‘ace said Moses oT enrolled ini and learned eo be « chactFens jnmy spare time havea grat deal of ia these days seudente az not so interested in Biblical hiscory as chey used eo be. ‘ive a taxi in the afrernoons and Team five times as moch this ‘way as I do being » profesor. wih T could do something like that ssid Professor Acwavse Lrellycan'tlive on owelve hundred dollars a year, Why don't you be svbarber said Professor Moses there is a College of ‘Tonsorial Are connected wich the university or you coal: sellin the College of Morticiaas and learn to bury people they az always dying. You suggest thae the dead bury ehe dead? asked Professor Atwater smiling faintly. Your own resurec- * UNDER A THATCHED ROOF ton woold #000 follow ssid Moses at che cos of ee relatives bf those who are irevocably dead. Or you might enroll n the Collegeof Realtors or Insurence Engineers ot ia any of hala Fpundecd other colleges, Well T guess I will bea barber said Profesor Anwater. That ie 2 profitable profession too said ‘Profesor Moses bucyou mustn't all yourself barber you will be e Professor of Tonsorial Arc when you have received your Aliplom: So Doctor Atwater decided that he would have to be 2 bar per or susve and as the classes for his three Greek students eee ia the moraing he enrolled ia che College of Tonsovial ‘Recand acodied there inthe fternooas and he learned how £© {have people and todo facial massege and in the class in Ton torial Coustesy be learned how o say Something on che hair ‘iso chat castomets woald be sure co reply Why yes [believe 1 nil have something what do you suggest? and here were food sany suggestions al of them quite expensive for che os ‘Profesor Aewater was quick ¢o lear and received his degree in thee weeks and they gave him a fine engeaved diploms to thang on the wall, ‘They didn’ know that he was professor ff Gree: a the universcy 20 the Employment Department got hhim 2 job as head barber at che College Ino. A grest maay merchants as well as students came to the College Inn barber {hop for shaves and haircuts and facial massages and they g2¥e [goo tips and precy soon Professor Atwater was able £0 pay Ea che doecon bills owed and he bought his wife «nice Sihecl-chaiss0 chat he could cae er ove for an ating in the evenings. “Onc day the president of che university eame into che Col- lege Tan barber shop for a shave and as Doceor Atwater was lechering him the president said your fae is sangely familiar > me haven't [seen you before somewhere? Te is possible Doctor Atwater replied I am professor of Greck at che univer sity and I practice tonsarial ax only inthe afvemoons. Gresik? ‘nid the pesident in a pazzled voice ob yes Greck 20 be eure es quite so. He was silent after thae bue when he had been shaved he went sruighe back to the university office which was in che College of Business Administration building where Dea Graphlover also had his ofice. See here Graplover have we 2 Greck department? asked the president. Oli dear oo sid the dean, Well Tmet a man this afternoon veho sald he is our ‘profesor of Greck and he has so lcele co do chat he is »berbe: fn his spare time, Waie tll Tlook ic up inthe cand index sid the dean, So he looked ie up and found there was a Greek: zpartment and the head of e was Shean D, Acwater, A.M. Harvard, Ph.D. Oxford, LicsD. Jobas Hopkins, and he Sond there were only three Greek seadencs one in edvanced and evo ‘a beginners’ Greck. "This won't do Graphlover sid the president end the daaa ‘aid no of coarse not bat Professor Acwrater reosives only twelve hundred dollars per yeat 80 it really doesa't maceer our tet profi from foosball sis seeson was well over four hunted tnd fifty thousand dolla and baseball erack aad eennis nvied three jundred ehonsand more, That is neither here aor here faid the president we can't have aay departments that do noe ‘how a substantial return oa capital investmenc please phone Arwatera¢ once and tll him I want to see him. ‘So the desa phoned Professor Atwater atthe College Tan and told him he was wanted immediaaly ac the president's office snd to take a taxi co save time, Professor Issac Moses! taxi * NBR A THATCHED ROOF ‘was waiting autsde the College Inn so Doctor Atwater coo that one. Av they wore driving to the universiey Atwater sid ‘Moses I'm ia lok the president has just discovered that Ehave to be a barber to eke out my salary I think he is ashamed be cause they have neglected the Greek depacement so long snd ‘now be means ro do something about it. I woulda'e be foo sre Professor Mages replied he may be going to do something bue I doube fie’ what you hope ie willbe. Tm afraid you're 2 peasimise Moses said Doctor Acwater wich = somewhat ccd smile, Yes T suppose Tam said Moses I've been a profes sor too long to be anything else well here we are good ck: T won't charge you any fare. ‘The president and che dean were waiting inthe university office and the president said se here Atwater we mast make four Greek deparameat more eficleat chat do you suggest ‘Greek isa dead language is it aot? Yes I'm afraid i is Doceor ‘Acwacer replied. Well we can'rhave any dead languages here ti the president could you teach modeen Greek? T could if sequined Doctor Atwater replied but... Graphlover incer- fupeed the president ruming to ehe dean look up our charts fd se if there mighe aot bea subscantial demand for modern Greek Thave already said che dean. ‘There ace fout million eo, ‘nundeed and thirty-one thonsand Grecks inthe Unied Staves two million and eighty-six thousand in ehe retail fruit and confectionery trade snd ro million one hundsed and forty-five thousand running barclesoing and shoe-shining parlours. ‘All have substantial bank: balanees but only five and one-half per czat of chem speak English. In ninereeocwenty-

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