Theme: Learning to control your anger before it controls you.

Text: Ephesians 4: 26 - 27 (NLT)

"And don't sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don't let the sun go down while
you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the devil."

Introductory Remarks
If I were to ask you, of all the human emotions you're capable of experiencing, which one
seems to be the most difficult for you to cope with? I believe that the majority of you would
say that dealing with the emotion of anger is the most complex and challenging of them all on
a day in - day out basis.

Complex - because anger can and will surface at the strangest times - brought forth for the
strangest of reasons - and exhibited in the strangest ways.

Challenging -  because anger, if not handled properly, can be a very dangerous and
destructive emotion. It can be hurtful to us physically - emotionally - relationally and
spiritually.

There is always a price tag for improperly handling anger. Anyone who has experienced an
incident when they let their anger get the best of them will confirm that actions committed in
that kind of anger are later regretted.

Proverbs 25:28 (GNB)

"If you cannot control your anger, you are as helpless as a city without walls, open to
attack."

Most of us realize that people who can't control their anger have a real problem. What is your
routine for handling the emotion of anger? Does it work? Not always? Seldom?

Take heart! God has a method that does, and He tells us about it in His Word.

In this teaching I want us to look at God's biblical method for "taming the temper."
Notice,  I didn't say God's method for "getting rid of our anger," but for the taming of
it. It is not in God's purpose to eliminate the ability to get angry. He put it in us to begin with.
All anger is not bad. Sometimes it's good for us to get angry. Anger in itself is neither good or
bad. It's why we get angry and how we express it that determines if it's good or bad, healthy
or unhealthy anger. God has given us His Word and His Spirit to work in us to enable us to
harness and take control over our anger so it becomes a positive and not a negative force in
our life.

He wants us "to be angry and sin not."  Ephesians 4:26, KJV) Anger managed correctly can
be an asset and not a liability. Anger is something we can't avoid, but it's something we can
learn to control.

Anger has been compared to the combustible explosions in a car engine that produces the
power to make the car move. When those explosions are under control, they will take the car
safely to its destination. But, if instead of controlling the flow of gas producing these orderly
explosions  --  we ignited all the gas in the tank at once --  we'd blow both the car and
ourselves up.

Proverbs 29:11, "A fool gives vent to their anger, but a wise person keeps
themselves under control."
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Point 1:
Four faces of anger---
There are four words we use to describe different levels or types of anger that we
experience.

1. Rage - used to describe a short fused-intense-explosive-uncontrolled anger. It's a "fly off

the handle," "let it all out temper blowout." that leaves you and everybody around you torn to
pieces. We try to excuse it by saying, "I know I lose my temper real fast, but it's all over in a
few minutes." So is a bomb explosion, but an awful lot of damage can take place in those few
minutes. E.G MOSES AT WATER …

"People who fly into a rage seldom make a good landing."   Will Rogers

"When you lose your temper, you always lose."

Proverbs 14:17, People with hot tempers do foolish things."(LB)

Proverbs 29:22, A hot tempered man starts fights and gets into all kinds of
trouble." (LB)                    

 
People who express this type of anger are walking time bombs with hair trigger
tempers ready to explode. Typical excuses used by these "short fusers" sound like this:

"I just couldn't help  it. It made me so angry."

"It just got to me and touched off my temper."
"It's like something just came over me and I couldn't do anything about it."

James 1:19, gives some sound advice to "the ragers", "Be quick to listen, slow to speak,
and slow to become angry."

The quickest way to cut your own throat is by your own sharp tongue by saying things you
shouldn't have said because you "just had to get it off your chest."

"If you keep your mouth shut, you will never put your foot in it." Austin O'Malley
 Let's label rage as a sudden anger that must be  controlled.

2. Wrath - used to describe an anger that wants revenge, that desires to retaliate, that wants
to 
  return the hurt or injustice the offender has caused them.
 It's an anger that holds a grudge. It's an "eye for an eye," or a "tooth for a tooth,"
"don't get even, but get ahead," I'll think of a way to pay you back for this" type of anger.
 A wrathful anger is always accompanied by an unforgiving spirit.

"Revenge is often like biting a dog because the dog bit you." Austin O'Malley
Wrath anger was what the Pharisees felt toward Jesus. They had built their own "religious
playhouse" by taking the laws of God and attaching hundreds of their own addendums to it,
making it almost impossible to keep the original laws of God. The truth Jesus came teaching
began to dismantle their playhouse and the Pharisees got fighting mad.

Luke 6:11, "But they  (the Pharisees)  were furious, (at Jesus) and began to plot with
each other what they might do to Jesus."

Let's label wrath as a sinful anger that must be  condemned.

3. Resentment - is used to describe an anger that stems from a grievance. It is an anger that
the
person suppresses over a long period of time and allows  to quietly smolder down inside
them

 Resentment anger doesn't blowup, but clams up.

 As it is nurtured inside the person, it produces self pity that eventually turns to
bitterness.

Resentment anger was what the elder son felt toward his prodigal brother and father. He
had been the good son, the faithful son, the stay at home son, keep on the job son. The
prodigal brother was the bad son, the unfaithful son, the vagabond, lazy son. Now, that son
was back at home and the father was celebrating with a party for him. The elder son was
overcome with a resentful anger. He resented his brother, he resented the celebration over
his return, and he resented his father for receiving his wayward brother back into the family.
He stubbornly refused to let go of his angry resentment and join in the festivities.

Luke 15:28-30, "And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore his father came out
and entreated him. And he answering, said to his father, "Lo, these many years do I
serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandments: and yet thou never
gavest me a kid that I might make merry with my friends: But as soon as this thy son
was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed the fatted
calf."

 Resentment anger damages the human personality and destroys relationships with
others.
 Proverbs 18:19, "It is harder to win back the friendship of an offended brother
than to capture a fortified city. His anger shuts you out like iron bars."

Let's label resentment as a stubborn anger that must be  conquered.

 4. Indignation - used to describe an anger that rises up in us as a result of seeing

someone 
 or something of importance to us being mistreated or suffering an injustice.

Indignation anger is free from rage, resentment, and retaliation. It's a healthy anger that is
aimed at the problem and not the person. It's an anger for the right reason and expressed in
the right way. It's a controlled anger that is meant to be corrective and constructive.

Indignation  anger is the kind Jesus displayed. The gospels tell of Jesus becoming angry on
several occasions, but it was always of the indignation type, aimed at correcting a wrongful
practice or adjusting  an unhealthy attitude.

Mark 3: 1-6, reveals the kind of thing that triggered the indignation anger of Jesus.
"And He (Jesus) entered the synagogue again, and a man was there who had a
withered hand. So the (Pharisees) watched him closely, whether He would heal him on
the Sabbath, so that they might accuse Him. And He said to the man who had the
withered hand, "Step forward." Then He said to them, "Is it lawful on the Sabbath to
do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?" But they kept silent. And when He had
looked around at them with anger, being grieved by the hardness of their hearts, He
said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." And he stretched it out, and his hand was
restored as whole as the other. Then the Pharisees went out and immediately plotted
with the Herodians against Him, how they might destroy Him."

The Pharisees had lost their compassion for others. They cared not for the condition of the
man with the withered hand. All that mattered was maintaining legalistic obedience to the
letter of the law. They believed their traditions were more important than easing the pain or
meeting the needs of another human being. They had forgotten that " the Sabbath was
made for man, and not man for the Sabbath."  Mark 2:27.

Jesus looks at them in anger. He is stirred with indignation at what He sees in them because
He recognizes their compassionless rule keeping mindset. Notice how Jesus expressed His
anger.

 He did not explode in a rage.

 He did not call down fire from heaven on them in wrath.
 He did not allow resentment anger to smolder down inside Him. He didn't suppress
His anger.

But Jesus chose to channel His anger into carefully chosen words of response that He
released in a controlled way. He didn't respond in a way that would allow them to fight back.

"You can't put things across by getting cross."

"To take the wind out of an angry man's sails - stay calm."
Indignation anger is the only type of anger that Scripture allows. Any anger that rises up in
us filled with rage, wrath, or resentment must be immediately challenged for it is
destructive anger. Anger that comes as a result of righteous indignation must be cultivated,
because it is a constructive anger that God  does not condemn.

Let's label indignation as a sanctified anger that must be  channeled.

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Point 2:
Three ways people handle anger

1.  Repress it
Repression, we are told, is a form of denial. Their thinking runs like this. (If I deny that I am
angry, then I won't have to deal with it. If I just ignore it, it will go away. I'll just work real hard
at pretending it's not there.) Most usually, repressors have seen or felt the destructive power
of anger and being "gun shy" of it, they try to avoid it. They just paint anger invisible and they
think it's gone. But is it?

Repression is not the healthiest way to handle anger. It's not an emotion that can be dealt
with properly by simply "forgetting it."

If the anger energy is not brought out in the open and taken care of in a safe way, it will be
directed through other channels until it is  heard from. It will not be ignored. Usually, it is the
physical body that feels the effects of repressed anger. I list several of those effects.

 The blood system - producing heart attacks.

 Stomach muscles - enhancing strokes
 Muscles tense up - elevating blood pressure
 Digestive tract - producing ulcers.

By repressing anger, we think we bury it dead. Actually, we are burying it alive. It sooner or
later rises from its grave in another form.

Nothing can take place in the body without it affecting everything else about us. Anger affects
our state of mind and our state of mind affects, in many ways, our body.

2.  Suppress it

In suppressing anger, we are very much aware that we are angry, but for one reason or
other, we choose to stifle expressing it and simply hold it inside of us. By doing this, we think
we are neutralizing our feelings of anger, but actually we silently nurture it within and allow it
to simmer on the back burner of our mind.

I grant you there are times when suppressing our anger is the wisest thing to do, but
eventually that swallowed anger must be drained off and gotten out of our emotional system
or it will build up until it blows up. Suppressed anger is usually drained off on a less
threatening, unsuspecting person, usually that person is another family member.

Let me give you an illustration of how this works.

 An employer calls a worker in and confronts him angrily over some work problem
 The employee feels the employer is wrong and anger rises up in him.
 The employee is afraid of losing his job so he suppresses his anger and "stuffs" it
down inside of him and goes home.
 The wife (unaware of what has happened) greets him at the door with a smile, but
the man, still angry, only snarls at her.
 The wife now has two options open to her. She can snarl back or she can "stuff it."
She chooses to "stuff it."
 Just then the teenage son comes in and mom unloads her "stuffed anger" on him by
finding something to yell about.
 The son in turns "stuff it" until later when he unloads on his younger brother who
unloads on his little sister who unloads on her doll she was playing with by breaking
its head off in anger.

The effects of repressed anger eventually flows over into our body.
The effects of suppressed anger eventually flows over into our body and our relationship
with others.
Repressing and suppressing anger is not the best way to deal with anger.

3. Express it
Since the 1970's we've become a nation that has been told to get our feelings out in the open
- "if it feels good, do it" and this included expressing our anger. Now expressing anger can be
an alright thing to do providing it is released in the correct way, and that means it's under
control and is corrective or constructive, never destructive.

When people get angry their thinking process usually gets short circuited, reactionary
impulses race through their mind in a disjointed fashion and they are not likely to think things
through in a rational way. This is why most people blow it when releasing anger. They put
their mouth in gear before  they engage their mind.

Proverbs 16:23 (GN) "Intelligent people think before they speak."

Knowing when and how to release anger is important. Sensitivity is a trait that an angry
person needs to hold on to.

 A crowded elevator is not the best place to "let it all out" when you're angry with
someone.
 A wise wife knows it's better to unload the frustrations of her day onto the husband
after he has had time to sit down and unwind from a long days work.

Three thing to remember in expressing anger.

      1. Remember the results of an unbridled anger.
          Ask yourself if you want to go through that again.
      2. Reflect before responding.
          When you start to get angry, delay your response.
          Stop and think before reacting.
      3. Restrain you remarks.
          Proverbs 21:23, (GN) "If you want to stay out of trouble, be careful what you
say."
          Use sweet words because you may have to eat them.

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Point 3:
God wants us free from anger that would hinder our Christian testimony. 
One day the Lord is going to present to Himself a glorious church (made up of people like
you and me) not having spot or wrinkle and without blemish. Ephesians 5:27. That church is
going to display the characteristics of Jesus in their life. As members of that church, you and
I,  as believers,  are day by day brought into conformity to the pattern of Jesus. God has
committed Himself to the task of working out of us everything that would hinder the fulfillment
of that purpose.

Philippians 2:13 tells us that God is at work in us to work out all those spots, wrinkles and
blemishes out of us.
Philippians 1:6 informs us that He will continue to do this in us until Jesus comes.

We are going to resemble Jesus when He comes again:

 in our attitude
 in our character
 in our thought life
 In our speech
 in our actions.

God is working out of us the elements that would hinder our Christian walk and at the same
time He is working into us His character and nature. As believers,  it is important that we
know and understand that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that God will find in any of us
as He works in us, that will come as a surprise or shock to Him. He already knew it was there
and He still loved us. He knew the worst about us and He still saved us. Whatever God's
work in us may reveal might come as a shock to us, but God says, "It didn't shock me. I knew
it was there all the time. But I wanted you to know it was there. Now co-operate with me and
we'll get rid of it."

God is removing the grave clothes of the old life from us. When we got saved, He introduced
us to a new life, but He knows that as long as the grave clothes of our dead past still cling to
us, we'll experience frustration and failure trying to express our new life. He wants to remove
those grave clothes of the past.

How are grave clothes removed? They are removed one garment at a time as God working
in us uncovers them for us to see and deal with. Unhealthy anger is one of those grave
clothes.
God wants to take our anger emotion and do to it what He did to Moses' rod that had become
a snake as Moses cast it to the ground before Him on Mt. Sinai. (Exodus 4) When God told
Moses to pick the rod back up, He had taken the snake out of it and it could now be used
safely by Moses. The Lord wants to take the snake out of our anger. He wants us to know
that the only way for us to express anger in a healthy way is to allow Him to take charge of it.

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Point 4:
Letting God handle your anger
My dealing with anger before Christ came into my life was not that great of an experience.
When an angry situation developed in my life and a course of action had to be decided upon,
I would call together the governing committee that had always been my advisors in decision
making and together we formulated what my response would be to the problem at hand.
Down through the years I had become totally dependant upon them and was compliant and
obedient to their decisions. At our meetings, even though I sat at the head of the table, I felt I
really didn't have any power or say in the matters that were voted on. Once the meeting
started, they took over and I became a spectator watching a "three ringed circus."

1
To my immediate right sat Emotion, and oh what an excitable board member he was. Once
the meeting had started, Emotion couldn't sit still for one minute. You never knew how he
was going to react to the business at hand.

Next to him sat Feelings. He and Emotion had developed a real close friendship and had
become inseparable. Feeling's decisions always seemed to be based on  how he felt at the
time. He was so changeable from one moment to the next during the meeting.

Next to Feeling sat Memory. He had a bad habit of always bringing up the past and trying to
associate it with the current problem at hand. Memory was good at bringing past calamities
to our attention. Memory's favorite saying was, "Don't you remember....?"

Next to Memory sat Imagination, and what a fascinating member he was. Nobody could
paint a scenario like he could. What wild ideas he presented at every meeting. He never
really dealt with the facts at hand, but mostly in "what might happen." His "might happen"
descriptions really affected Emotion and Feeling. Memory brought pictures of past
calamities to our attention, but Imagination painted pictures of possible calamities in the
future. Memory and Imagination seemed to buddy as friends. That had a lot in common.

Next to Imagination sat Reason. He seemed to be a real loner in the group and always
hung out by himself. He was always analyzing, weighing things, considering the pro's and
con's of every decision. Although he seemed to contribute input into the meeting, he never
really came up with a solution to the problem that was acceptable to the others. Reason
wasn't as excitable as Emotion or Feeling, nor as colorful as Memory and Imagination.

At the meeting, Anger has the floor explaining the crisis at hand. The next door neighbor's
dog has done it again. It has messed in my yard for the second time this week. Anger is
calling for a response to the situation. The first time was bad enough, but this time is the final
straw. It is time to act.

As Anger speaks, the advisory board comes  to life. Emotion  begins to get really excited,
pounding his fist upon the table, shouting for action. Feelings has left his seat and starts to
run around the table in a frenzy. He has really lost it. Imagination is heard to cry out, "I can
see it now." Memory  can only mummer, "Oh boy, I remember the last time something like
this happened." Reason just sits there saying, "Something surely must be done, but first let's
look at every angle. Let's make a study of this. Let's take a look at both sides."

Pandemonium reigns. It always does when  Anger is involved in the problem. "Shoot the
dog!" "Shoot the owner!" Let them know just how angry you really are about this situation.
Anger shouts, "Get even - I want satisfaction." The cry from the board is re-act ----re-act.

Before Christ came into my life, I would have followed my advisory board's cry to re-act to
this situation. I would have vented my anger with rage and wrath. But now that I'm a
Christian, I respond differently to anger. As a believer, I have added a new member to the
advisory board that governs my decisions. This new member has shown me that God's
desire is not that I should be a re-actor to angers petty whims, but that I should be an acting
person who can control my actions and initiate the proper response to every angry situation.

So, before I respond in any manner to anger's demand for retaliation for what the neighbor's
dog did, I introduce the Holy Spirit to the board in session. What a difference His presence
makes when those crisis of anger pop-up. When He is asked to address the problems I've
noticed

 Emotion no longer gets excited.

 Feelings doesn't psyche out.
 Memory doesn't call up the past.
 Imagination doesn't paint calamity scenes about the future.
 Reason now sighs with relief saying, "At last something sensible is going to be
done."
 Angers charges are now ready to be dealt with.

As a believer, I am learning that as I give heed to the Word of God's instruction and the Holy
Spirit's guidance--

 I am gaining control of anger and it no longer controls me.

 I am no longer afraid of anger and my response to it.
 Like Christ, I choose to do what is right to do regardless of what my feelings and
emotions urge me to do and regardless of what others push me to do.
 I am learning to "Be angry and sin not."

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Conclusion
Thing to remember about anger.

1. Just one moment of uncontrolled anger before others can ruin your testimony.
2. Anger is too unpredictable to allow it to be in control
3. The anger ledger needs to be balanced at the end of every day. Don't carry it
overnight.
4. According to Ephesians 4:31 anger keeps company with a pretty rough crowd:
bitterness, wrath, clamor, slander and malice. These ugly traits are always ready to
"tag along" with anger trying to influence it.
 5. Galatians 5:22, "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace and patience." You
can't have your life filled with those four things and be angry at the same time with
wrong anger.
6. Anger is contagious. What you sow is what you will reap. Consider the
consequences of your words spoken in anger.

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1 Illustration from Malcolm Smith

\ Managing Anger
Ephesians 4:26-27, Jonah 4:1-11
5 December 1999
Greyfriars Church

Introduction
Some of our emotions can be overwhelmingly powerful, can't they? We can be almost literally
consumed by emotions like love, anger, jealousy, joy and pain. They can turn our lives upside-
down. They are seemingly not under our control, but rather, often control us.

Why do we feel these things so deeply within us? Where do they come from?

I believe that we feel these things because God feels these things. Throughout the Bible we find
examples of God experiencing all these emotions: love, anger, jealousy, joy and pain.

These emotions are part of us because they are part of God, and we are made in God's image.
Some people would say that we have anthropomorphised God: that is, we have created a God
who is like us, because we don't know any better. But if this were true, why would we have made
Him holy?

No, the truth is more like this: God has theomorphised us. God has made us in his own image,
and our deepest emotions reflect what is already going on in the very heart of God. We love
because God loves; we get angry because God gets angry.

But characteristically, of course, we have spoiled and corrupted these things in our lives, just as
we have spoiled and corrupted most of the rest of the world, so it's no longer always easy to see
God's image in us.
The result of this is that for many today love is just a byword for sexual immorality, a synonym
for lust. Anger and jealousy in our world are so often destructive, whereas God's anger is always
used to acheive righteous ends: it is constructive. Instead of the depths of joy in God's heart, so
many now know only the drug-induced rush of cocaine or heroin. And instead of using our
emotional pain to drive us to put right the wrongs, we just numb it with a haze of tranquilizers,
alcohol and hedonism.

Anyway, our theme this evening is anger, or more specifically, managing anger. So let's see what
the Bible has to say on the matter of God's anger and ours.

Anger in the Bible

God is provoked to anger many times in the Bible by people's hearts going astray (Heb 3:10), or
following other god's (Deut 6:11), or idolatry among his people (the Golden Calf, Exodus
32:9,10). Again and again people's sin provokes God to anger, wrath even.

Likewise, Jesus was provoked to anger by the stubborn hearts of the Pharisees. In Mark chapter
three Jesus wants to heal a man on the sabbath, but they are more concerned about their own
laws than about God's compassion. It says Jesus looked round at them in anger and, deeply
distressed at their stubborn hearts Mark 3:5 ref he healed the man.

On another occasion Jesus drove the moneylenders out of the temple with a whip because they
were defiling his Father's house. Jesus had just cause to be angry, and, being Jesus, expressed it
appropriately.

Other people are rightly angry in the Bible as well. For example, Moses was also angry about the
golden calf incident, and when reading Galatians, it's hard to miss Paul's anger about the false
teaching in the church.

Can you spot a theme here? There are things it is right to be angry about: the same things that
God is angry about; the things that dishonour Him.

In each case the result was constructive: God came up with a plan of salvation; Jesus was
spurred-on to heal, despite the Pharisees, and to clear his father's house. Paul was motivated to
write his letter to the Galatians and defend God's truth.

There are causes it is right to get angry about, and right responses to that anger. But as I said in
the introduction, we far more often get it wrong than right.

Our Anger
So what about our anger? What provokes us to anger, and how do we deal with it? I'd like you to
think for a moment about the last time or two that you were really angry. What provoked you to
anger? Why were you angry? And what did you do about it? How did you express your anger?
So, in the light of that exercise would you describe yourself as a Spewer or a Stewer?

Spewers
There are two main ways in which people respond to their anger. The spewers just spew it out
over whoever provoked them. A spewer is someone with a hot temper, a short fuse, someone
who 'sees red'.

It's what we see regularly on the football pitch: the frustrated players who suddenly explode and
start verbally or physically abusing the referee, or one of the opposition.

Unfortunately this kind of behaviour is not confined to the football pitch. We often see it in the
world around us. For example in road rage: I've seen apparently sane and rational people do the
most appalling and dangerous things on the roads at trivial provocation. I've seen people injure
themselves by punching walls and smashing windows in their rage. Or what about taking out
one's frustration on some poor call-centre employee who had nothing to do with whatever's gone
wrong. When the faceless institutions have messed us around we sometimes just want to snap,
don't we? But it's a clearly inappropriate thing to do. And which of us hasn't seen in the
supermarket a parent yelling with fury at their child?

Do you often 'have a go at someone'? If so, then you are probably a spewer.

This is the advice of Proverbs to the spewers amonst us: A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a
wise man keeps himself under control.ref and further on An angry man stirs up dissension, and a
hot-tempered one commits many sins Prov 29:22 ref.

Spewing out our feelings, letting it all out, giving full vent to our anger is a foolish thing to do. It
far too easily leads us into sin.

How many of us haven't said something we regret in the heat of the moment? Or needlessly
destroyed something: a possesion, or a relationship? Giving full vent to our anger really does
make a fool out of us.

So, A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. Prov 29:11 ref
That's fair enough, but we also need to beware of the opposite extreme. We are not to be
spewers, but we are not to be stewers either.

Stewers
A stewer is someone who bottles up his or her anger, trying to bury it. Apparently self-
controlled, this kind of person is smoldering on the inside.

But the Bible has a warning for stewers as well. The passage we had read earlier from Ephesians
says 'In your anger do not sin' : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not
give the devil a footholdref.
You see, anger rarely goes away by itself. It is not made better by ignoring it. Stewing in our
anger, nursing our grievances, will lead us into sin just as surely as venting our anger does, for it
gives the devil a foothold.

I have to confess to you that I am much more of a stewer than a spewer. I rarely give full vent to
my anger in the heat of the moment. Frankly, I'm not brave enough. What tends to happen is that
I will internalise my rage. I'll pick over it and revisit it, my anger growing, but still bottled up
inside. When I am truly angry it is hard to think about anything else. The anger doesn't go away;
it is like a poison. And then my thoughts turn to revenge, which is when the devil really gets a
foothold. I can become obsessed with going over and over again how I can get my own back. It's
ugly, isn't it? My anger turns me into the opposite of someone who loves, because love keeps no
record of wrongs.

As an example of this, some while ago I was knocked off my bike by a car driver doing
something very stupid [the driver, not me]. But I wasn't hurt, and the bike was all right.
Nonetheless I burned with rage inside. I happened to remember the number plate of the car, and
as time went by I became obsessed with getting revenge. So for weeks after that event I kept an
eye out for the car. I would take different routes to work so that I had more chance of finding it. I
fantasized about slashing the tyres or breaking the windows. It's nasty, isn't it? Thankfully for
me, I never saw the car again.

So this is the danger of stewing in our anger. It poisons our relationships with unforgiveness, it
leads us to hatred, and it can make us depressed as our internal worlds are disordered by it. These
things are what happen when we give the devil a foothold in our lives.

So, the verse says, do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.ref Somehow we need to
find a constructive way of dealing with our anger which is neither of our usual tendencies of
Spewing or Stewing.

Dealing with anger

First, the spewer needs to learn some self-control, how to avoid giving full vent to his or her
anger. As Proverbs says, Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper
than one who takes a city Prov 16:32 ref.

The Spewer must practice the habit of thinking first and speaking later. As the Apostle James
says Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's
anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desiresJames 1:19-20.ref Thinking first
and speaking later is a good habit to have in any case, for as Proverbs says, Even a fool is
thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongueProverbs 17:28 ref.

But it's not so easy to hold your tongue when the anger is boiling up inside, is it? Some people
recommend the NASA technique. Make sure you count down from ten before you blast off.

Personally, I prefer to recite the fruit of the Spirit, which are in Galatians chapter 5, the subject of
next Sunday morning's sermon. When in danger of exploding I try to remember to recite love,
joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self controGal 5:22-23 lref. It's a pretty
good antidote, isn't it. It's humbling when we realise that our venting our rage is the exact
opposite of the fruit that the Spirit is trying to grow in us.

Sometimes it will be appropriate to say something, to show our anger. For example parents are
sometimes angry with their children. [Is that right, any parents?] It's right that sometimes the
children experience their parent's anger when they are being particularly naughty, just as the
Israelites sometimes experienced God's anger against them. It's a normal part of parental disciple.
But we must always make sure that our anger is under our control. There is no excuse for
spewing it out on someone, particularly our children.

So it's good to learn not to spew out our anger, but we must take care that this remedy doesn't
turn us into a stewer. We do need to get rid of our anger somehow.

First it's important to try to work out what has caused our anger. Why are we angry? Prayer will
help us to do this. We do not need to be shy to bring our anger to God; to confess to him fully
and frankly how we feel. It's important that we do this. When you are angry, pray!

As we pray and try to understand what has caused our anger, God may show us that we are right
to be angry, or he might show us that we have no right to be angry.

No right to be angry

The reading we had earlier from Jonah is a case in point. It's worth turning in your Bibles to
Jonah chapter 4.

Jonah is furious with God. He has been preaching judgement on Nineveh, and now God want to
save it! Nineveh, a city full of the godless, heathen people. God wants to save them!

This doesn't fit in with Jonah's theology at all, so, as it says, Jonah was greatly displeased and
became angryref, and he has a good rant at God.

So God asks Jonah a telling question, Have you any right to be angry?ref Clearly he thinks Jonah
has no right to be angry in this case: God is God after all; he can save people if he wants to,
whatever Jonah may think. Jonah has no answer, so God tries to teach him a lesson about anger.

Jonah sat himself down overlooking the city to wait, still hoping that his prophecy might come
true and God would annihilate Nineveh. It's exposed and dry and hot, so he's pleased when God
makes a vine grow to shade him. But the next day the vine dies and the harsh wind picks up, and
so he becomes angry with God again.

God says to Jonah, do you have any right to be angry about the vine?ref Well, clearly he doesn't
have any right to be angry. After all, Jonah chose to sit there, and God gave him a gift for a day.
If Jonah learns this lesson, then maybe he will realise that he has no right to be angry about God
saving Nineveh.
But Jonah doesn't learn his lesson. He replies I do—I do have a right to be angry—I am angry
enough to dieref. Maybe that's an illustration of how our anger clouds our reason.

Basically, God is saying to Jonah, "Get some perspective Jonah, there are far more important
things going on here than your personal comfort" .

Anyway, God wants us to be a bit quicker than Jonah. If in our anger we can bring ourselves to
pray we may well hear God saying to us "Do you have any right to be angry? Do you have any
right to be angry?" .

Most often our honest answer will have to be no, we don't have any right to be angry. We will be
angry because our personal comfort has been attacked, or our beliefs have been challenged. We
will be angry because we are selfish, or self-centred. So often we are angry because of some
inconvenience or other. It's a question of perspective. When we start to see things from God's
perspective, we may find that rather than anger our correct response should really be repentence.
With the right perspective the anger will no longer trouble us.

Every right to be angry

But from time to time when we pray, we will find that, yes we do have a right to be angry.
Perhaps someone has truly and deeply hurt us; or perhaps we are angry on someone else's behalf
about an injustice of some sort.

In the first case, if someone has truly hurt us, then there is only one possible response that we are
called to. [How should we respond when someone hurts us? Who said revenge?!] For a
Christian, a forgiven person, our only right response is to forgive those who hurt us.

We frequently pray the Lord's prayer which contains these words, "Forgive us, as we forgive
those who sin against us" . I have to tell you that I find those words really hard. I often find
myself mumbling them, and desperately hoping that God's forgiveness of me is a bit more
whole-hearted than my forgiveness of others. If God is as meager and unforgiving with me as I
am with others, then frankly, I am in serious trouble.

But that's the point, isn't it? God has forgiven me everything. God's anger that we talked about
earlier, was directed at me. God was angry with me, because I have offended him in so many
ways.

When I am angry with someone, sometimes God begins to show me how much he has forgiven
me, the overwhelming depths of the compassion he has for me. How, even when I was still a
sinner, with my back turned to Him, he sent his Son to die for me.

As our reading in Ephesians goes on to say, Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling
and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you EPH 4:31-32.ref
Yes, as Christians, we are called to forgive in the same way that God has forgiven us. This may
take much courage, it may mean more pain, it may mean facing rejection again. But God has
given us his spirit in our hearts to help us to do this, and, believe me, God really knows about all
these things.

As Christians we have no option but to forgive. Right after Jesus gives us the Lord's prayer he
says this: If you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sinsMattew 6:15
ref.

As we wrestle with forgiveness, we can know that we are doing God's will, and he will heal our
anger. This is a very positive way for us to use our anger. Please, if you are angry with someone
tonight, I urge you to make every effort to forgive, and make whatever amends are necessary.
The sun has already gone down, but it is not too late yet.

Sometimes though, forgiveness is not the issue. Perhaps we are angry about a cause like
injustice, or about someone slandering God with false teaching, or a particular evil in the world.

In cases like this our anger is a great motivator to do something about it. It can be God's antidote
to our indifference. Well-controlled anger is the sort of thing that leads people to do great tasks
like causing the abolition of slavery, or sparking off the reformation, or campaigning against
tyrannical dictators, or fighting drug smuggling.

This is what Jesus did with his anger. It motivated him to heal on the Sabbath. It motivated him
to try to keep his father's house undefiled.

Maybe God has put that kind of anger in your heart, that kind of passion. In which case, go with
it; use that energy, but take great care that you stay close to God, as our passions all too easily
make us stray. As the Revised Standard translation puts it, Be angry, but do not si Eph 4:26 nref.